DEAR READERS OF EARTH.
I am POPE "O.J".
My aim, is to give you something, you already have.
Something you've,.. MISPLACED ,... shall we say , ..and
friends,....YES,.... it is the
one thing ,THE one thing,....YOU,..... could never find on your own!,
Why not ?.
BECAUSE MOST OF YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU DON'T HAVE.
WHY DON'T YOU KNOW ?,.
.....BECAUSE THEY, HAVE MADE YOU FORGET EVERYTHING you have ever known that
doesn't fit to THEIR plan of how YOU should live your life, THEIR plan of
how YOU should think, THEIR plan of where YOU should go on holiday, THEIR
plan of how you should dress, THEIR plan of everything .
THIS IS the way they control you ,this is the way they make you do
what they want you to do,
YOU are made to believe that the choices you make , and the actions
you take , are your own , this is the way of the CONTROLLERS .
THIS IS THE WAY YOU ARE BEING CONTROLLED !.
The reason I am telling you this is for your own good , what good does it
do me?, I already know what you are about to find out ,I have seen it
for myself ,and it is this that makes me want to show you how good life
can be.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY ,you can change the way you are, you can be
all the things you are not, you do not have to struggle and toil to live a
good life, the planet upon which we live is a fruitful place when left to
her own natural devices .
YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE!.
We are here to give you that chance of turning your life into the fun park
ride you dreamed of ALL THOSE YEARS AGO,
It could be the return of giant candyfloss balls as large as your head .
It could be a day by the sea.
It could be the box of chocolate you were given for your seventh birthday.
It could be all these things and more.
What was it that made childhood so much fun ?
Where is it now ? WHERE WAS IT THEN ?
The thing that made life so good when you were a child is the same thing
you don't have now. What you must do is remember who you were when you were
a child, regress to that past incarnation ,see the things around you as
they were, see what is different ,try to find what you are looking for.
For many of you this will be a fruitless exercise ,the conditioning of the
controllers will still be too strong for you to overcome alone.
They have the ability to cloud your mind with the price of washing powder,
the calorie content of fish fingers ,the mortgage rates ,the instability of
some third world military junta , all these things are put in front of the
truly important matters in life , purposefully ,to detract you from the
real issues that concern the way you live your life now and in the future,
you must learn to see through the consciousness clouds of the con, that is
the key ,but not the answer !
Think of the words left to us by our great leader J.R "BOB" DOBBS ,
TOO MUCH IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN NOT ENOUGH. He was of course referring to Slack, THE ANSWER IS SLACK !!.
the one thing no Subgenius can be without
[UNLIKE ALL THE SHIT YOU CAN DO WITHOUT FROM THE PINK BOYS AND
GOVERNMENTALIST .]
Believe me brothers and sinisters,
there is a lack of slack.
The controllers have taken it,
it's our duty is to steal it back.
It's been taken by the men in black who want to keep it in their
sack.
SLACK is the answer to all the things in life you could possibly dream of ,
Slack gives us the time we need ,Slack gives us spare money to drink the
devine liquor of visions, Slack is the commodity which gives you an extra
week in bed with the haddock or nut of your choice ,the fact is without
Slack you are the robotic glove puppet of the system who stole your Slack
in the first place , these are the ones who gave you Terry Wogan three
nights per week , THEN REPEATED IT in an omnibus edition on Sunday
afternoons ,when they could have shown one of those great films in which
John Wayne kills Gooks in the Florida Quays from the top of a Well's Fargo
stage coach full of Injuns, being driven at high speed by the blonde bitch
with the big titties out of Baywatch.
Remember people of "BOB", our prime objective is the gaining of Slack ,we
must have Slack, as the Thelemite needs his whore , the Subgenius needs
Slack to give him the edge over the Adversarians.
DEMAND YOUR RITE TO BE WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE !.
BE WHAT YOU WON'T!.
Be so fucking weird you'd never even get on channel 4 ,be even weirder than
those weird things on breakfast t.v., be even more offensive than those
COOL, TRENDY , JERK OFF TEENAGERS WHO PRESENT THE ACNE RIDDEN TEENYVISION
PROGRAMMES, do they really hang out with JANET STREET- PORTER ? AND IF SO
WHY ?,. Who wants to go anywhere where Janet Street-porters' pstenche could
be lingering around the rim, or under the seat .
Hell, that's another point, public facilities.
WHAT happened to the good old sub-terrainian ,fully tiled public
lavatories we had ,or rather they gave us in order to stop us pissing in
the street ,as was the custom many moons ago, yes you guessed it ,they
filled them in when they invented the pay as you go Techno-pisspot. Fully
automated ,self cleaning with stainless steel surrounds to everything ,the
only problem is ,50% of people don't know what the hell they are ,whilst
the other 50% piss their pants 'cos the fuckin' thing won't accept anything
smaller than a fifty pound note.
.THESE ARE THE THINGS THEY DO TO TAKE YOUR SLACK.
If that isn't blatant violation of your SLACK what the hell is?.
Until you wake up they will just keep doing this to you.
YOU will be the undead victim of the conspiracy vampire.
THEY will drain your SLACK until you can no longer fight them off,
but like the Transylvanian Count they will not kill you and put you out of
your misery, HELL NO , that would be too much like giving you some slack
back, which would be almost as bad to them as not taking your slack in the
first place, no their plan is to keep you alive as long as possible to
ensure their slack supply is abundant and accessable at all times .
UNLESS YOU ALLOW "BOB" TO HELP YOU FIND THE THING IN LIFE THAT GIVES YOU
THE SLACK YOU NEED YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE THE CLUTCHES OF THE EVIL
SPACEBANKERS .
They WILL take everything from you.
They WILL claim that you should be grateful for having the opportunity
to be in such a position. .........................................................BULLSHIT!.
THEY ARE SYSTEMATICALLY STRIPING US OF THE THINGS WE NEED TO BE REAL PEOPLE
What about the way everything costs more every year ?
WHAT ABOUT THE CHRISTIAN INFLATION FESTIVAL EVERY YEAR ?, AND THEY ALWAYS
DO IT JUST BEFORE YULETIDE, THE ANCIENT PAGAN FESTIVAL OF LIGHT ,MERRIMENT,
INDULGENCE AND SLEEPING OFF THE EFFECT OF THE LIQUOR OF VISIONS, WHICH I
MIGHT ADD IS GETTING EVEN MORE EXPENSIVE (BUT NOT AS EXPENSIVE AS THE
LICKER OF VISIONARIES ). THIS ALL LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THAT NOT ONLY WHEN
THOSE LATIN BASTARDS STOLE ALL OUR DAYS OF THE GODDESS AND TURNED THEM INTO
DAZE OF REVERENCE FOR THE SPACEBANKERS , THEY ALSO HAD THE PLAN TO
ERADICATE ALL NON-CONFORMISTS EVEN THEN BY REMOVING THE GIANT SLACK
GENERATOR WHICH SAT UPON STONEHENGE LIKE A GIANT EGG CRADLED IN A
MAGNIFICENT WELSH STONE EGG CUP .
IT WASN'T ME IT WAS "BOB" !
NO NOT I FOR I AM ONLY THE SOLID STATE TRANSISTORISED LOUD HAILER OF
"BOB", THE WORDS WHICH SPEW TORRENTIALY FROM MY MOUTH ORGAN ARE MESSAGES
,IMPLANTED BY "BOB" HIMSELF. YES MY CONGREGATION , I FEEL THE TONGUE OF THE
EPOPT RANTING AND RAMPAGING THROUGH ME WITH THE FORCE OF A SPEEDING FREIGHT
TRAIN.
you may think your all alone ,but "BOB" is here ,he is with us all he is
all things, yes "BOB" is the floor we stand upon , "BOB" is the girl you
pass on the bus everyday, "BOB" is the bus, "BOB" is the dandelion , "BOB"
is the paraquat, "BOB" is the haddock, "BOB" is the nut.
See !, the things I am telling you are true .
The words you are hearing are the words of a thousand generations brought
to you through the power of the church of dobbsian evilangelistics of great
britain the new exiting church for the end of the MILLENNIUM.
More than a Church, a Family . A loving family of like minded free thinkers who have cast of the coils of the snake godaliens, and liberated
THEMSELVES from the bondage of the babylonian sexdevil.
THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT HAVE FAITH IN "BOB" .
LET ME TELL YOU OF THE PATH TO SLACK .
THIS PATH IS CONCISE AND TO THE POINT.
IT WILL HELP YOU FIND THE THINGS OF WHICH THE VOICE OF DOBBS SPEEKS .
IF ANY OF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BECOME DUES PAYING MEMBERS OF THIS RAPIDLY
GROWING ORGANISATION.
A FULLY INCLUSIVE MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION TELLING YOU HOW TO APPLY TO THE
CLENCHE WILL BE AVAILABLE AS SOON AS WE GET A P.O.NUMBER,THE STARTER PACK
TO "BOB" WILL BE IN THE FISCAL REGION OF2.
THE REST OF YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT ONLY PAID UP MEMBERS WILL BE GUARANTEED
PASSAGE ABOARD THE GIANT SHIPS OF THE ALIEN LIBERATORS COME X-DAY.
THE WAY I SEE IT IS YOU'LL NEVER GET TO ZION WITHOUT "BOB" S HELP
SO STOP YOUR BLEATING ON AND PAY THE FUCKIN' MONEY OR YOU'RE PINK AND
YOU'RE STAYING. THERE'LL BE NO SNEAKING ABOARD.
"BOB" CAN PSTENCHE A PINK AT FIVE MILES AND THE SECRET WEAPON OF THE
SUBGENIUS WILL BE UNLEASHED WITH YOUR SCENT IN IT'S NOSTRILS IF YOU COULD
CALL THEM NOSTRILS. NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE, IT WILL FIND YOU, IT WILL
KILL YOU VICIOUSLY, BUT THIS WILL BE MERCIFUL COMPARED TO WHAT COULD
HAPPEN.
DO WHAT MUST BE DONE !!
THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT YOU MUST NOW SEEK "BOB" !!
FROM:-
POPE "O.J" s forthcoming BESTSELLER,
THE BOOK OF DELIVERIES.
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