CHURCH SCIENCE AND STUFF by iceknife@lanminds.com (ICEKNIFE)

Certain human components of the subgenius mind are prone to unstrange
looping. Strange mindloops have their uses; unstrange ones have none.
The daily acceptance of the banal, called Hyperparametaphobia, is one
of the potentially more devastating effects that can ravage the
subgenian psyche, when left untreated. Another even more debilitating
disorder caused by unstrange loops is Parametapsuedophilia, or Splat
Vision as it is called in the popular press. In this state, the
subgenius belives themself to perceive "something that's not quite
real, but it's close enough". This is not the "wide vision" described
as an occular, spiritual, intellectual, and meditational discipline
in The Five Rings, nor is it the common, often useful "tunnel vision"
we hear about, in which all things are excluded save the object of
attention; Splat Vision is somewhere quite useless, inbetween... a
sort of widened vision with TV screen blinders that blur reality into
media propaganda and back again.

Tunnel vision is a fine psychotic escape for humans, but the legacy
of yeti brain structure and chemistry make tunnel vision a mere first
step to a substantial portion of the amazing and vast psychic powers
and terrifying abilities that are the birthright of every subgenius.
It is difficult to master any useful degree of morealism, and almost
impossible to learn time control, without it. Tunnel vision in
yetynsyny mutates rapidly through the simple human phases of obsession
and compulsion into active worship, hubris, and finally the casting
out of the false god; not for being false, but for being lame, inept,
and a bitter, bitter disappointment. These phases swiftly entered and
ended, the subgenius then has the ability to draw upon the essence of
that thing, to immerse one's self in that essence, to become as one
with it, and carry that transcendant knowledge with them always.

Contact with ANYTHING included in their plexiconate can cause a
subgenius to experience a unique biogenic electrochemical surge
that can cause, among other effects, burnt hair, ejaculation, farting,
rodent summoning, Easter Island Head Disorder, and light spotting.
Almost all subgenii have described the experience as "ecstatic"
or "orgasmic" , with the unusual exceptions of David Lynch, who noted
it was "ghastly, but in a NICE sort of way that made me feel all
funny, you know, down THERE..." and Stang, who said " I didn't feel a
damn thing, and I'm not going to. It's a god-damn hoax" (Stang was, as
usual, lying, according to our instruments).

NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND, YOU STUMPLIKE PERSON???

OK YOU ARE BIG WELCOME AND OWE ME EVEN BIGGER MONEY OKBYE

look, I'd explain how all this means that the church is just a
modern (crabby) version of taoism, but that's one of them great
truths, the opposite of which also being true, can make you twist your
own head off in an effort to gaze upon your own fist face and/or the
rolling dougnut you porked to give birht to yourself in the first and
all the other places... and you might not enjoy that as much as you
should, so excuse me if i don't bother...

ok

now i go watch Captain Scarlet and the Mysterions. Destiny Angel still
gives me a woody, and please don't share how clever you are by
pointing out she's wooden, ok? thanks you dumbass bastard.

die quietly,

ICEKNIFE

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