On orders from Master Control Programming, I must acknowledge
NENSLO as my World Overlord. You'd be doing it too if only
you had sent him that ONE LOUSY dollar he asked for a few weeks
ago. I sent NENSLO the dollar and I received a FAT ENVELOPE
*full* of GREAT STUFF and RIGHTEOUS ART to DIE for.
And my Lord NENSLO displayed his preternatural PSYCHOMETRIC
powers because the very first tractate discribed MY PERSONALITY
in *detail* and outlined for me in terms even *I* could understand
the exact reasons why people SHUN ME and why IT'S MY FAULT
that I don't have any friends. I'm sure NENSLO must have accessed
certain SECRET SENSITIVE files, for how else would he know about
my ANNOYING habit of turning every conversation into a discussion
of some ARCANE TRIVIA like the F*CK*NG BOGOMIL HERETICS!! Most
people justy say, "Yeah, they were related to the Cathars in
Southern France, right?" BUT NO! The Bogomils are the cause
of virtually EVERY WAR in the Balkans including the current one.
Becuase they were a REMNANT of the Gnostics and the Paulicians
who fled Christian persecution in Greece. And they converted
to Muslem when the Turks came only because they HATED the Christians
as much as the Christians hated them. Do you know that Bogomil
means "Friend of God?" But Bogomil was a priest amongst them.
The Byzantines (those Orthodox bastards!) burned every Bogomil
they could lay their hands on. At least when they weren't fighting
each other over whether pictures of Jesus VIOLATED some DIVINE
command. But the Bogomils were not materialistics like the
Christians. The Bogomils thought the material world was evil
which is EXACTLY what the Gnostics thought. So they had two
classes of Bogomils, the Perfect and the Other Guys. The Perfect
weren't supposed to marry or have a house or anything. Which
is EXACTLY the same thing that the Manichees believed -- which
should come as NO SUPRISE since the Manichees were probably
BUDDHIST MISSIONARIES and people who are KNOWLEDGEABLE about
things like me say that Jesus spent his childhood in INDIA
and not EGYPT like the Christians claim because his family
had business there. So the Bogomils are the REAL followers
of Jesus, see? They aren't heretics. Everyone else it, see?
Well, like I said, NENSLO is a GREAT MAN and all you Po' Buckers
really missed out by not mailing him that dollar. This stuff is
great and the ART is INCREDIBLE. Plus, I've got four ration
coupons that NENSLO did up with GREAT SKILL and GREAT PERSONAL
EXPENSE that certify *me* as being MY OWN MAN in *every* *sense*!
And there's the three little Church Pamphlets which are small
four-page wallet-size Dobbs-Litter-A-Ture. ONE OF THEN IS
even in HUNGARIAN or something! So, you people who didn't
send that measly little Federal Reserve Note are REAL LOSERS.
But, I bet you could mollify NENSLO by sending him ONE BUCK
and a lengthy LAMENTATION and the GREAT NENSLO just *might*
sent *you* this stuff. Yer missin' out, man. I'm tellin' you
*PLONK*
--
Epopt of the Exploding Head of J.F.K. and Blasphemer of the Gods
My skull is bigger on the inside than the outside!
Send $1 to SubGenius Foundation, P.O. Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214
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Original file name: NENSLO
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