Once upon a time there was this one guy who invented this device that
made it easier to shove shit up one's dick. So he patented it and
took it on the road to try to sell it so he could make a lot of money
and retire young and be able to devote more time to his Sunday school
class over at the Pentacostal Church. So he pulls up in front of this
other guy's house and gets out and rings the doorbell. But when the
guy opens the door the first guy notices that he has a dick that's
about four times larger than normal and it has a little bit of shit
dripping out of it. So the first guy says, "How did you get that shit
all in your dick?" And the second guy goes, "I bought this device
that makes it easy to put shit in your dick and it was only $49.95."
Well the first guy got real freaked out because he thought he was the
first to invent such a device and plus he was selling his for $59.95
which was ten dollars more than the other guy. So then the other guy
laughed and said, "I'm just kidding. I really don't have such a
device and it took me several hours to get all this shit in my dick
and I sure wish there was a real device that would do it easier."
Well, the first guy didn't need to be told twice. He suddenly took
his device out of the box and presented it to the other guy and said,
"Here, sir, I have just such a device and it's only $59.95." Well the
other guy was so happy he wrote that guy a check and took it in his
house. After several hours of happily stuffing shit up his dick with
it, he decided to attempt something really perverted that was against
the law, which was he tried to vomit in the device and stick that up
his dick too. But the device had a police warning built-in that the
first guy didn't tell him about and it went off and the police came
and arrested him and charged him with shoving vomit up his dick. But
the law was vague on the issue and the guy successfully argued that
since he already had lots of shit shoved up his dick, that he was
actually shoving the vomit into shit, technically speaking. Well, the
judge accepted this line of reasoning and let the guy off with a
warning. But then the guy, without warning, cut his dick off and
began flogging the judge with it. Shit flew everywhere and since it
was mixed with vomit too, the people in the courtroom were shocked
and it made all the papers around the world and gave this one kid the
idea to mix shit with vomit and eat it and he did and got sick and
got an intestinal infection and died in horrible agony.
The End
Original file name: Yesterday's Shadows
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