Once upon a time there was this one guy whose name was Ralph and he
had this next door neighbor named X'chluung. Ralph knew X'chluung was
a Mayan demon and so he read this book on how to kill them and he did
everything right and it killed X'chluung. So then this girl named
Rhonda moved in to X'chluung's apartment and Ralph decided to try to
fuck her and she let him and while they were fucking Rhonda told him
that he ought to open up a jewelry store. And so Ralph decided to do
it. But he wanted to open one not like all the other ones and to sell
a different kind of jewelry. So he decided to only sell rings that
were really just the mummified sphincter muscles out of the rectums
of corpses that he'd dig up and then he would dip the sphincters in
molten gold and put them in the display cases and sell them and
hopefully get rich so he could retire and buy this ranch in Montana
that he wanted. So the first day of the store being open, he didn't
have any of those rings, but he promised all the customers he would
tomorrow. So that night he got real fucked up on PCP and crack and
carpet cleaner and shoe sole glue and tequila and he went into the
graveyard and spent about over two hours digging up the first
corpse which he made sure had been dead for about nine months. He did
this by looking at the date on the tombstone. So he dug the corpse up
and turned it over and used his Swiss Army Knife to carve the entire
rectum out of the corpse. Then he did it eighty hundred more times
because he got real good at it and could do it fast. Then he took
this giant bag of carved out rectums back to the jewelry store and he
found out that if it needed to be a larger size he could fuck it and
it would stretch it out to be bigger. So he made all these different
sizes and then decided that he couldn't afford the gold yet so he
would just put them in the display cases just like they were. So the
next day all the customers came back and when they looked in the
display cases there was all these still-bloody, half-rotted starting
to dry up sphincters and there were maggots crawling around in a
bunch of them and other ones had flies all on them and they really
smelled bad like rotting assholes. So nobody wanted to buy any of
them and called the police on Ralph and so he locked himself up in
the store and got out his new machine gun with a laser site and
started killing everybody. Then when they were all dead, he ran out
and started buttfucking them and carving their rectums out with a
pocket knife and eating them and the TV stations were carrying it on
the news and people wouldn't let their kids watch it but they watched
it and some of them got sick and vomited and this one guy ate his own
vomit after he did.
The End
Original file name: The Summer of Love
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