There was this one guy this one time who could only get off sexually
by breaking into people's houses and taking the person he found there
and cutting off their dick and shitting on it and putting it in a
blender and turning it on full blast and pissing in it too and then
after it was all blended up he wouldn't drink it all at once but
would savour the flavour for about ten hundred hours and then he
would build this cubby hole in the cut off dick guy's bedroom and
hide there until the police came and then he would turn into a giant
helicopter-shaped rummy bastard mammoth turd that glowed in the dark
and threw sparks out that caught the grass on the side of the road on
fire. But the only firemen around were the two dead homos that were
buttfucking in the back of the truck when that other guy killed them
and they were turned into magical zombie paradox hetero-fags. But the
spell that kept their dead, rotting corpses animated also made them
not want to buttfuck each other in the firetruck anymore and they
were depressed and wanted to find out a different spell that would
let them still buttfuck each other there. So one of the dead non-homo
firemen called a 1-900 number that somebody said would let them fry
grease upside down while they were in orbit, so he called but it was
really just two fat lesbian junkies sitting under a rancid pillow
playing squat drop with a deck of cards that was missing all the
cards except one, and that one card was so covered in the shit they'd
dragged out of the intestines of dead Moonies that they couldn't even
tell what it was any more, so they didn't even know who was winning
the card game. But then the alarm went off and it didn't wake anybody
up because they were all dead too. Fortunately, though, there was
this other guy who decided to quit fucking the bucket of cum dumps
that God had given him last Saturday and he also decided that he
needed a new hobby to keep his mind off the ram scrotum that this one
girl had sewed on his lips and had also sewed his lips to his knees
so he couldn't even give himself a blowjob any more even though he
was real limber from being in the health club and doing all the
stretching exercises and only drinking carrot juice. But his room
mate was getting married to one of the dead homo zombie firemen that
night and he didn't think it would be a good idea for him to go to
the church with his dick not in his mouth and so he tried to kill
himself by sticking his head out the window into the line of fire
from the DEA guys who were trying to bust up this ring of seven or
eight guys who were into sticking PCP up old ladies' assholes and
then buttfucking them after they OD'd and that's how they got off on
the PCP by it going up their urethras while they were buttfucking the
old ladies. But the DEA guys ran out of bullets and so they all went
home except one of them who got a hamburger that this girl made but
right after she put the mustard on it she went out the back door of
the hamburger place and vomited on her boyfriend's dick after he
passed out from huffing gasoline out of the manager's car who was off
in Nairobi running for president.
The End
Original file name: Free Trump Spud Mammy
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