There was this one fucked up guy who was not only fucked up in the
head naturally but was also usually fucked up on sniffing gasoline
and carpet cleaner and shoe sole glue too. Not only that but he
usually huffed paint thinner out of a Dr. Pepper can and shot up
Mogan David grape wine and smoked nutmeg mixed with cayenne pepper
too. Plus he usually drank about a quart of Everclear mixed with
peach pop first thing in the morning after he snorted about fifty
grams of ground up Contact Capsules (just the red ones). One day he
wanted to know what it would be like to take a real sharp knife, dip
it in battery acid and cut his own dick off. But he was paranoid that
it would really hurt bad so he went out and bought a couple bags of
crack and a handful of bootleg Mexican Quaaludes and a packet of
Jimson Weed and a film canister full of old Morning Glory seeds and a
gallon of Vodka and a quart of Peppermint Schnapps and some clove
cigarettes and took them all at once. But once he got to really
tripping on all that shit, he changed his mind and decided to cut off
everyone else's dick instead. So he got everybody who wasn't a girl
or a preoperative transvestite or real faggy looking and lined them
all up and tied their hands behind their back after he had drugged
them so they couldn't wake up and he got this, like, garden pruning
machine that was out in the shed and he took it over to the first guy
who was snoring and had shit his pants and he pulled his pants down
and placed the hydraulic cutting portion of the pruning device around
that guy's dick and he pressed on the lever with his foot and it went
*schtup* real loud and cut the guy's dick off. Then he went to the
next guy who was also passed out but sort of waking up and pulled
that guy's pants down and put the thing on his dick and pressed the
lever and it cut his dick off too. Then he got to the third guy who
was just really starting to be awake enough to scream real loud when
his dick got cut off which totally woke up the guy next to him (the
fourth guy) which caused enough of a commotion that every one of the
guys who was still alive and tied up and hadn't bled to death started
begging the crazy guy to not cut off their dicks. But the guy was so
stoked on being fucked up on all the stuff he took and on cutting
somebody's dick off that he just ignored them and went on down the
line cutting their dicks off. By 10:30 that night he had cut off the
dicks of 10,453 people and decided to get some rest. So he went to
sleep and got up the next morning and worked all day long and cut off
the dicks of 22,539 more guys because he did some real strong coke
and a couple grams of crank and some espresso and got going real
fast. He kept it up for a few weeks and had cut off over 600,000,000
guy's dicks and decided to go on a vacation. When he got back he
started cutting off their dicks again and worked all summer, through
the fall and by mid-winter had cut off the dicks of close to three
and a half billion guys. Pretty soon the guy started to come down off
all the shit he was doing and realized that there was only one guy
left who had a dick except him. So he ran over and cut that guy's
dick off too and then he could fuck any girl in the world. But then
he took too much meth and couldn't get a hard on and couldn't fuck
them and he got depressed and committed suicide on account of not
being able to fuck a girl any more.
The End
Original file name: Braided Nut Paste Sedan
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