XXX-DAY GOES GLOBAL by Onan Canobite

It is proof of the Conspiracy that no SubGenius can do anything it wants, including go to Brushwood to join their fellow cultists for XXX-Day for free. And some sterling examples of Yetidom have indeed posted that they will not be able to go there, or are having difficulties.

And yet it is proof of our future dominion over this planet that we remember that July 5th shall occur for each one of us, together or apart. Have you tricked yourself (or been tricked by Dobbs "as a lesson") into thinking attendance at Brushwood is now orthodoxy, that there is no X-Day without it?

Achtung! Each continent and every individual (living and dead) shall have their own X-Day, wherever they are. So enough already with the laments of those who won't be at Brushwood. The Conspiracy gives us every opportunity to lament. Instead, inspire us with tales of what you _are_ going to do on July 5th, 2000, right where you are, with who you are with. No more 'boo hoo I can't come to X-Day to hang out with the famous rock star SubGeniuses,' more 'yee-haw I'm having an X-Day BBQ and movie fest and rocket launch right here in [insert small town name here] with my best friends and some cool strangers!' Follow Pope Black's lead on this one and have your own damn X-Day to build your own damn ship. If you don't quit your bellyaching, "Bob" will give you something to bellyache about. If you start your whooping it up, "Bob" will give you something to whoop it up about. Case closed.

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