From: Legume <legume@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Apr 25, 2000 2:19 AM
Message-ID: <390538EA.5003@subgenius.com>
Well, anyway, shit isn't looking too good on my end as far as making it
to XXXDay.
The "Help Send Legume to XXXDay" campaign was a BRUTAL FAILURE, thus
dooming me to a Hellish weekend of barbecued tofu weiners in my
inescapable suburban prison, surrounded by MEWLING PINKS.
I'd planned FIRE AND BRIMSTONE for XXXDay, but instead it'll be me
flushing my last tiny speck of slack down the big pink toilet, while you
all engage in whatever horrid fuckaround XXXDay will be without the good
Doktor Legume's calm guidance to keep the Lord from freaking out and
screwing shit up for everyone there.
I had planned the definitive seminar on the Tao of Slack, as well as a
concise lesson in the newfound doctrine of Rock and Stick.
Of course, I'd also planned some good old bloodsoaked preaching, and my
traditional night torture session for some lucky Bobbie.
But that shit isn't going to happen now, unless SOMEBODY throws me a
fireproof rope and helps drag me from PinkHelle.
I don't figure that's going to happen, so I ask one thing of you all;
PRAY FOR LEGUME.
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Subject: Re: XXX-Day CANCELLED...at least for Dr.Legume
From: SubGenius Spice <anon2166@hushmail.com>
whoever doesn't send legume $$ is a dumbass.
--
"and my friend said, come inside of me
and your speakers are telling the truth." --the verve
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Subject: Re: XXX-Day CANCELLED...at least for Dr.Legume
From: Legume <legume@subgenius.com>
I would mostly miss the opportunity to perform that annual Bobtism. Miss
Susi, handmade me a new Bobdismal Robe after Rev AKA the Frogwatcher
ripped my original one...of course, I WAS shall we say OVERBOBTISING
him, and it ripped while he was struggling for air...
The other thing I would miss is the weird experience that grips me on
day one, that indescribable satori that wraps itself around me and
reveals to me the message that will capture and encapsulate the whole
weekend. "Rock and Stick". "They went too far". "The End of Fun for
White People in America".
Lastly I would miss killing the hitchhikers all the way there.
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Subject: Re: XXX-Day CANCELLED...at least for Dr.Legume
From: Ned Wreck <nedwreck@bellsouth.net>
Don't the hitchhikers have any money? Legume! Please tell me you roll them
after you kill them, that's the most inportant part. One of those
hitchhikers coulda been Howard Hughes. Hell, goddamn Ty Cobb, when he was
really old, used to walk around with over a million bux in a shopping bag.
No shit. You might be missing out on a goldmine.
Ned
--
<Ïà!+/-á
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Subject: Re: XXX-Day CANCELLED...at least for Dr.Legume
From: cuthulu@cuthulu.shreve.net
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Apr 25, 2000 9:27 PM
Message-ID: <m3bt2xvehh.fsf@cuthulu.shreve.net>
Legume <legume@subgenius.com> writes:
<snip>
> I don't figure that's going to happen, so I ask one thing of you all;
Ah, you wouldn't have liked it anyway -- nothin' but a bucn of SubGeniuses
there.
--
"Nirvana? Thats the place where the powers that be and their friends
hang out.
-- Zonker Harris
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Subject: Re: XXX-Day CANCELLED...at least for Dr.Legume
From: Legume <legume@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Apr 25, 2000 10:44 PM
Message-ID: <390657FF.7AE@subgenius.com>
Ned Wreck wrote:
> Don't the hitchhikers have any money? Legume! Please tell me you roll them
> after you kill them, that's the most inportant part. You might be missing out on a goldmine.
Those fuckers rarely have more than the money for TOLLS. Besides that,
you can easily rinse off change, but all that blood sticks to the bills.
It's usually only ONES and the occasional FIVE-SPOT, and the blood scabs
up and they all stick together, and I don't wanna get that shit all over
my sneakers.
This year I'm just gonna POISON the fucking bums.
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Subject: Re: XXX-Day CANCELLED...at least for Dr.Legume
From: SWILBERT <nenslo@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Apr 26, 2000 1:58 AM
Message-ID: <3906857C.2463@subgenius.com>
Legume wrote:
>
> Well, anyway, shit isn't looking too good on my end
Nnngh! I didn't need THAT in my head.
> The "Help Send Legume to XXXDay" campaign was a BRUTAL FAILURE, thus
> dooming me to a Hellish weekend of barbecued tofu weiners in my
> inescapable suburban prison, surrounded by MEWLING PINKS.
IRONICALLY, the "Send NENSLO to XXXDay" campaign was a RAGING SUCCESS
and my plane ticket has been paid for by an anonymous donor. Anonymous
to YOU, all you envious devils.
>
> I'd planned
>
> I had planned
>
> Of course, I'd also planned
There's where ya made your mistake all that planning.
LET GO AND LET "BOB." JUST GIVE UP and it all comes to you - or you
don't care if it doesn't.
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Subject: Re: XXX-Day CANCELLED...at least for Dr.Legume
From: Boddhisatva Troutwaxer <tungtungNOtuSPAM@pacbell.net.invalid>
Hey White Boy,
I had planned to beat you to a bloody pulp in this years "Body
Fluid Wrestling" then stick my 10" long black cock up your
howling, sniveling, whining, dough colored, pasty boy ass and
give you the reaming a whining nazi wanna be like you deserves!!
Oh well, maybe Konig will be there.
Praise "Bob"
T.
"Damn Honkies!!"
* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: XXX-Day CANCELLED...at least for Dr.Legume
From: König PrüB, GmbH <saurkraut@weinerschnitzel.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Actually, I hadn't been planning on attending; however, you will
find many pastey-assed white boys who are into inter-racial butt-sex
there at Brushwood. In fact, I think that you should ask Neslo for
the first dance: you two would make a cute couple. Also, be sure
to give kevbob a whirl, I hear that he's almost a virgin. Nothing turns
the überfemmes on like watching their menfolk getting butt-fucked
by field niggers, so, I have no boubt that you will make out like
King Kong at this year's festivities.
PS-Try no to leave an oil slick when you get in the hot tub. Thanx!
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Subject: Re: XXX-Day CANCELLED...at least for Dr.Legume
From: Name: PopeBlack <popeblack@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Hey Legume.......
Why don't you come over to XDAY Europe 2000? I'ts probably cheaper to
get a plane ticket to Europe from Florida than it is to the back woods
of Bumfuck New York. If you come over I'll do the following:
1. Give you a free place to stay and food and drink.
2. You won't have to pay for the XDAY festivities, as a matter of fact
I'LL PAY YOU, if you preach. I don't know how much that will be but it
will be something.
3.You won't have to pay for the boat party on Monday or for food or
drink.
4. I'll take you down to the whorehouse down at the docks where all of
the Russian sailors go and pay for a reach around if you want.
Think about it.
http://meltingpot.fortunecity.com/metric/302/
His divine grace,
The Second Luckiest Man Alive!
The Apostle Pope General Dr. Mighty David Lee Black THC MMDA
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
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Subject: Re: XXX-Day CANCELLED...at least for Dr.Legume
From: Legume <legume@subgenius.com>
Nenslo wrote:
> There's where ya made your mistake all that planning.
> LET GO AND LET "BOB." JUST GIVE UP and it all comes to you - or you
> don't care if it doesn't.
Yeah, put it in "Bob's" hands. That fucker can't even change a tire.
-
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Subject: Re: XXX-Day CANCELLED...at least for Dr.Legume
From: Legume <legume@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Apr 26, 2000 9:36 AM
Message-ID: <3906F0D7.199C@subgenius.com>
Name: PopeBlack wrote:
> Hey Legume.......
>
> Why don't you come over to XDAY Europe 2000? I'ts probably cheaper to
> get a plane ticket to Europe from Florida than it is to the back woods
> of Bumfuck New York. If you come over I'll do the following:
>
> 1. Give you a free place to stay and food and drink.
> 2. You won't have to pay for the XDAY festivities, as a matter of fact
> I'LL PAY YOU, if you preach. I don't know how much that will be but it
> will be something.
> 3.You won't have to pay for the boat party on Monday or for food or
> drink.
> 4. I'll take you down to the whorehouse down at the docks where all of
> the Russian sailors go and pay for a reach around if you want.
>
> Think about it.
Hmmm, that's pretty tempting, Pope Black. Not real keen on #4, of
course, I'd much rather bag me some clog-dancers.
But then, you tulip peddlers and cheesemongers have different tastes
than a good ol' boy like me.
Maybe we can work this as an angle; "Please donate to the "KEEP LEGUME
AWAY FROM XXXDAY" FUND.
Yes, dear friends, the ONLY way to stop rat bastard Legume from TOTALLY
FUCKING UP XXXDAY is to buy me a plane ticket as FAR FROM BRUSHWOOD AS
POSSIBLE.
Pope Black has volunteered to act as WARDEN, making sure that I have no
opportunity to sneak back into America and sabotage the event.
Shit, I'll eat BOTH HALVES.
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Subject: Re: XXX-Day CANCELLED...at least for Dr.Legume
From: Dr. Codini <Codini@subgenius_dot_com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: codini@DogsFuckthePope.com
Date: Wed, Apr 26, 2000 11:19 AM
Message-ID: <452egsslundpn2osu5cu170pmgdvp6floq@4ax.com>
On Tue, 25 Apr 2000 02:19:22 -0400, Legume <legume@subgenius.com>
wroted:
>oe<Well, anyway, shit isn't looking too good on my end as far as making it
>oe<to XXXDay.
>oe<
Damn, does that mean no sequel to "Gilligans Island"?
---------Codini
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Subject: Re: XXX-Day CANCELLED...at least for Dr.Legume
From: SWILBERT <nenslo@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Apr 27, 2000 1:33 AM
Message-ID: <3907D120.3168@subgenius.com>
Legume wrote:
>
> Yeah, put it in "Bob's" hands. That fucker can't even change a tire.
>
"Your best efforts got you where you are today." - Master W.E.
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Subject: Re: XXX-Day CANCELLED...at least for Dr.Legume
From: Legume <legume@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Apr 27, 2000 11:05 AM
Message-ID: <39085743.2D3@subgenius.com>
Nenslo wrote:
> "Your best efforts got you where you are today." - Master W.E.
Thank you, Nenslo, your check arrived today, and I must say that despite
your reputation as an Andy Rooney-esque curmudgeon, you're actually a
SWEET, GENEROUS GUY.
The letter that accompanied it was really surprising, it showed a warm,
human side that the folks here would never suspect.
I never knew how much respect you have for me; I'm a humble guy, and
words like "magnificent" and "a true holyman journeying down the road to
Slack" make me uncomfortable in a way. I consider myself a regular guy,
and for you to heap that kind of sincere praise upon me makes all the
years of dedication to the Church worthwhile.
Thanks, Nenslo. If I make it to Brushwood, I'm gonna give you a big ol'
HUG.
Legume
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