In article <335ff60d.10717775@news.unlimited.net>, crazycurt@odyline.com wrote:
> Anyone planning to head to Dallas in July '98? I figure the
> saucer stuff is bullshit, but if I know SubGenii there's gonna be a
> HELL of a party! Has anyone heard anything?
If you hear about some kind of a SubGenius party or something on July 5th
be sure and let us know. Unfortunately, this year we all have to go to
Sherman, New York for a bunch of really boring Church business meetings and
seminars.
Oh, yeah, that saucer stuff? Sure. That's all bullshit. Just a FUNNY JOKE.
Just a way for Dobbs to get $30 out of people. That's all. You don't NEED
that MEMBERSHIP CARD or anything.
!!!!
And ya'll wonder why I get impatient sometimes. "The saucer stuff is
bullshit..." HMMPHH!!! And I suppose that saucer stuff was "bullshit" to
those 39 Heaven's Gaters! Shheeeesh.
Show some respect for our religion, man!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Date: Sat, 26 Apr 1997 21:31:21 -0600
In article <hHVYzcEblVyM092yn@YGRI.net>, dynasor@en.com wrote:
>
> I've been dropping hints that the Real Thing should be in Dallas, but
> His Aging Scribeness seems to be really attached to Brushwood. I'm kind
> of torn myself.
>
Well, they don't have a CURFEW, at Brushwood, for one thing. You can play
the music at top volume ALL NIGHT LONG and there are NO COPS besides the
Legume's S.L.A.K. squad and SPUTUM.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
>
> You ARE kidding? NO FUCKING WAY should Brushwood be X-Day central.
> It's always been Dallas in my mind and by Dobbs, that's where we'd
> be...if we weren't getting the early pick-up call, I mean.
>
YOU PEOPLE WANT TO DO THIS in a god damn HOTEL, like a SCI FI CON??!?!?
I'll tell you WHAT sirmaam. at 7 am July 5 98 I plan to be under the OPEN
SKY with a PURPLE CLOTH DRAPED OVER MY FACE and brand new Nikes. Well, I
dunno, maybe Rebok. Maybe a gold cloth? Whatever.
Tarla, you know how mercilessly hot it is here in July.
Another thing: There are a lot more SubGenii in that part of the country,
due mainly to the radio show, I guess, or else maybe it's just that the
preachers sound funnier to yankees.
Naked babes and even men are a necessary ingredient for a proper SubGenius
cult shindig, as well. And gigantic cannisters of Church Air, 20 stories
tall. And FIRE. Large burning things. Screams, gunshots, model rockets,
fireworks, whiskey bottles flying through the air, REAL LOUD ELECTRIC
GUITARS. TONS OF DRUGS like BEER and that weird Yeagermeister stuff that
Legume and Bleepo and Sterno and them are always glagging.Frop clouds you
can cut with a chainsaw. YOU know.
You want the swimming pool? Brushwood has a pool. Has real nice showers. A
nice little town 10 minutes away where you can get anything you need.
No TV. No computers.
AHHH!!!! NOW I think I see where the REAL problem is.
It's The X Files isn't it. ISN'T IT. You don't want to miss the X-Files.
Action: Stang throws up his hands in resignation and disgust.
Action: Tarla throws up.
Yuk yuk, jes' kiddin' hon. But sneeriously though. A sci fi con in a hotel
is what you'll get in Dallas.
Look, we SCOPED OUT the WACO facility last week... NOTHIN' there but a row
of burnt toilets and a stack of bricks. We can't do it THERE. Dealy Plaza
would be the other logical place but BELIEVE ME -- the Dallas cops are not
going to be happy with the abovementioned party happening downtown at the
crack of dawn.
Although I can see how ... if you COULDN'T travel to New York... hmmm.
Well, if you do, videotape it so I can watch it on the Escape Vessels
later.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Date: Sat, 26 Apr 1997 21:46:24 -0600
In article <5jtdre$cpj$2@grouper.exis.net>, angela@sailfish.exis.net
(Sophia Anifantakis) wrote:
>
> I guess in Ivan's next book he'll have to find a way to weave in some
> story about how the saucers found out mid way here that their muffler was
> falling off and had to return back home.
I don't get it. Why would I want to do that?
--
Copyright 1997 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <friday-2604971425330001@mfd-dial3-10.cybercom.net>,
friday@cybercom.net (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:
>
> My brothers, my sisters, my fellows in thingness -
> What's this about an X-Day Central? Central meeting point is ON THE
> SAUCERS - your point of origin don't mean fish after THAT.
> Every SubGenius should do as s/he/it feels like doing - partying alone in
> the orgone chamber, nude in the dew at Brushwood, dancing in the hot sands
> of Dallas - what does it matter? THE SAUCERS ARE COMING!
>
THAT'S RIGHT, FRIDAY!!
You people? Miss Friday Jones is a GOOD SubGenius.
It's true that the ONLY THING THAT MATTERS at that moment will be that you
have your SubGenius Minister's Membership Card in hour hot little hand.
Don't matter where you are, if you're asleep or awake.
Judging from the Drills, most of you WILL be passed out. We could learn
something from that Heaven's Gate bunch. THEY understood DISCIPLINE.
And besides, since MOST SubGeniuses aren't going to be ABLE to go ANYPLACE
special, I would imagine that there would be various "LOCAL SAUCER
LANDINGS" or whathaveyou. Maybe SubGenii in each city-state should start
thinking about hosting such things. The L.A. X-Day. The New Orleans X-Day.
The Chicago X-Day. etc. Mustn't forget the Bumfuck, Egypt X-Day.
The problem is, HOSTING things is a SLACKLESS JOB. It's WORK, and X-Day is
our main religious holiday!
So we need lots of YOUNG, EAGER, TOTALLY INEXPERIENCED SUBGENII to find
places to hold these gatherings and "host" them. Because nobody OLD, JADED
and EXPERIENCED, in his RIGHT MIND, would do such a thing... Stang said,
hypocritically, having just committed to hosting at least two more huge
ones.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <5jtp3i$934@snews2.zippo.com>, dflync01@homer.louisville.edu wrote:
>
> I think the old coot's got a point. Dallas is too fucking HOT in July.
> I'd like my last days on earth to be COMFORTABLE, at least.
It is, it's hell, unless you're indoors, and indoors is expensive, and NO,
there will NOT be a big X-Day party in MY house, NO WAY!!!!
Such things used to happen a lot. Once we had I think 14 guests sleeping in
our old house on Victor, the nights of the First World SubCon, 1981. My DAD
happened to come by in the morning -- opened the door, and there in a
sleeping bag on my floor was a BLACK MAN and a WHITE GIRL!! HIPPIES! And
the whole place was full of them. One of them was tENTATIVELY, a
cONVENIENCE, who was totally weird looking long before tattoos, piercing
and weird baldheadedness was ultra trendy. Yep, them was lean years back
then, but the SubDeemies BELIEVED in something back then. Back when I was a
Zombie... things were different.
Speaking of Janor, I guess along with the X-Day shows I should do an All
Janor Hour of Slack. There's some pretty cosmic stuff on his cable access
videos. Also he recorded a new song called MY GRILFRIENDS CAR, a
Springsteen take-off... it REALLY sounds AWFUL.
Now THERE'S a worthy goal for some industrious SubGenius. RAISE MONEY TO
GET STERNO AND JANOR TO THE X-DAY DRILL. What would a plane ticket be...
$300 or so if you got a good deal. Think of it. TOLD THE JUDGE performed by
the original Fart Dog Explosion (Drs. 4 "Bob," Wotan and Corpses).
Has anybody heard from PHILO lately? That sumbitch... his email NEVER
WORKS. I guess I could PHONE. Huh. I FORGOT about that device... the phone.
I'll have to try using that thing again someday. I remember it was fun
sometimes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: truwe@mind.net
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> The problem is, HOSTING things is a SLACKLESS JOB. It's WORK, and X-Day is
> our main religious holiday!
>
> So we need lots of YOUNG, EAGER, TOTALLY INEXPERIENCED SUBGENII to find
> places to hold these gatherings and "host" them. Because nobody OLD, JADED
> and EXPERIENCED, in his RIGHT MIND, would do such a thing... Stang said,
> hypocritically, having just committed to hosting at least two more huge
> ones.
On 5th July, 1998, I plan to be sitting on my roof with a cooler full of
soft drinks. You're all welcome to join me. It's a pretty steep roof,
though.
Annnnnnna
--
<truwe@mind.net> | Ben, Shelley, Matie and/or Anna | If you are |
named Earl or have a friend named Earl, email me for your prize.|
Nineteen on the Earl Count | Come to alt.slack.devo. Aw, please?
I had a REALLY GOOD quote to put here, but forgot it completely.|
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: !!!bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
angela@sailfish.exis.net (Sophia Anifantakis) wrote:
>David F Lynch (dflync01@homer.louisville.edu) wrote:
>: Doktor DynaSoar (DynaSoar@YGRI.net) wrote:
>: :
>: : I've been dropping hints that the Real Thing should be in Dallas, but
>: : His Aging Scribeness seems to be really attached to Brushwood. I'm kind
>: : of torn myself.
>: I think the old coot's got a point. Dallas is too fucking HOT in July.
>: I'd like my last days on earth to be COMFORTABLE, at least.
>Yea, it really is...And besides that they have those huge tarantulas
>there roaming around.
Oh fer goddsakes people...Dallas is a BIG CITY. It has air
conditioning and almost NO tarantulas in town.
Frankly, I'd like MY last days to be in a place where there's more
than one flush toilet.
Tarla
***
Reverend Mutha Tarla Star of the Little Sisters of the Perpetually
Juicy; a Proud jism schism of the Church of the SubGenius.
Worshipping Juicy Retardo and "Connie" Dobbs since 1986.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Curtis R. Anderson" <gleepy@intelligencia.com>
Doktor DynaSoar wrote:
> Ya know, travel distance aside, Erie certainly has lots of hotels.
> Jamestown has fewer, but it's a vacation resort kinda place.
Mostly because Chautauqua Institution (http://www.chautauqua-inst.org/)
is only about twelve miles east of Brushwood.
> Both are within half an hour driving distance of Brushwood.
> Perhaps Curtis (I been calling him Gleepy for his comic but that's not
> really his name) could provide some more documented coverage of places
> that might be even closer. Any of the local Amish folks (or what ever
> they are) have any bed & breakfasts?
The Amish aren't into that thing, really. They can't be open on Sunday.
Religious convenants. And they are in the other corner of the county, 25
miles away and across Chautauqua Lake, around Sinclairville and
Forestville.
But, a perusal of the telephone directory reveals the following, in
terms of lodging.
Right in Chautauqua Institution we have:
Athaneum Hotel
Lake Drive
716-357-4444
The Baker Hotel
14 Miller Drive
716-357-2805
Chautauqua Inn
16 North Terrace
716-357-3085
The Spencer Hotel
25 Palestine Avenue
716-357-3785
In the surrounding area, typically no more than twenty miles away, we
have:
Bemus Point Lakeside Cottages
50 Lakeside Drive
Bemus Point
716-386-2535
Budget Inn
2-14 East Main St
Falconer
716-665-4410
Chautauqua Lake Efficiency Apartments and Hotel
Route 430
Bemus Point
716-386-4005
Chautauqua Lake Enterprises
Magnolia
716-789-2935
The Colony Motel
620 Fairmount Acenue
West Ellicott
716-488-1904
Comfort Inn Jamestown
2800 North Main Street
Jamestown
716-664-5920
Fairmount Motel
138 West Fairmount Avenue
Lakewood
716-763-9550
Finn's Inn
Point Chautauqua
Mayville
716-753-3444
Holiday Inn Jamestown
150 West Fourth Street
Jamestown
716-664-3500
Holiday Inn Westfield
Thruway Exit 60
Westfield
716-326-3741
Lake Side Inn Bed and Breakfast
4696 Chautauqua Avenue
Maple Springs
716-386-2715
Lakeview Hotel
14 Water Street
Mayville
716-753-2813
Lakewood Red Coach Motel
284 East Fairmount Avenue
Lakewood
716-763-8548
Lone Pine Motel
Route 394
Chautauqua
716-789-2141
Maple Inn
8 Bowman Avenue
Chautauqua
716-357-4583
Motel Six
1980 East Main Street
Falconer
716-665-3670
Page's Motel
180 East Fairmount Avenue
Lakewood
716-763-9247
Pine Hill Cottages and Motel
Woodlawn
716-789-3543
Redwood Ranch Motel
South Harold Avenue
Bemus Point
716-386-4275
Snow Ridge Motel
Portage Road
Mayville
716-753-2712
Star Motel
270 East Fairmount Avenue
Lakewood
716-763-8578
Stuart Manor Bed and Breakfast
Prendergast Point
716-789-9902
With that list, you should find something. Remember, folks, summer is
peak season, with all the activities at Chautauqua Institution. Call
early, but not necessarily often.
It is an exercise for the reader to determine the best way to get to
each of those facilities when street numbers are known. Otherwise,
you'll have to go with the community name and then ask for directions.
Most likely, you may not find these addresses in any electronic phone
book because all the telephone companies servicing the above hotels are
independents, either Alltel or Chautauqua and Erie Telephone.
Also check out the Chautauqua Web (http://www.c1web.com/) for more fun
things to do in the area. For example, if you are staying in Bemus
Point, take the ferry across the lake to Stow, then drive and turn left
to Route 394 east to the Stow exit of Route 17, then go west to Sherman.
The ferry closes before the fun at Brushwood ends, so you'll have to
take the Veterans Memorial Bridge of Route 17 across the lake. Or you
can stay with Route 430 east through Mayville and Midway Park to Bemus
Point.
(I'll get this text added to the web site that I work on for this.)
--
Curtis R. Anderson, Co-creator of "Gleepy the Hen", SP 2.5?, KoX
URLs: http://www.servtech.com/public/cra/ | XENU: All that needs
ftp://ftp.servtech.com/pub/users/cra/ | to be said!
mailto:gleepy@intelligencia.com | Hug a chicken today!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Hal Phillips <bocko@webspan.net>
TarlaStar wrote:
> I'm sorry, I know we're talking about a year from now, but I just
> don't get it. WHY the hell would every damned SubG try to travel to
> the fucking EAST coast when it would make a hellova lot more sense for
> each side to just move to the middle?
>
> Tarla
> already in
> the middle
She's right, y'know. "Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the
right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you." You're not clowns and
you're not jokers, you're Subgenii-- nothing's funny. And if she's
ALREADY in the middle, you have no choice but to be stuck in the middle
with her. Unless you can think of song lyrics that portray the middle
in a NEGATIVE light...
Oops, just thought of them. "There's got to be something better
than in the middle"... well, still. Until you can figure out WHAT'S
better than in the middle, you're stuck there, with Tarla.
--
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Hal Phillips
"It was like being Hitler, but in a good way."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dflync01@homer.louisville.edu (David F Lynch)
Negative light? N-Lite? Anyway, here's what I'm thinking. There's a
way you could call us Subgenii "normal" folks, because there's a
coherency to what we do; we have a functional and sensible way of life.
That's the difference between me and a schizophrenic; I answered a bunch
of the control questions on the MMPI "wrong", but I had sensible and
reasonable reasons for answering them the way I did. Many extremists
distance themselves from reality even farther than middle-of-the-road
types, but by conjoining the most ludicrous aspects of fanatics of all
types, we serve to exaggerate the incompetencies of everyday society and
to illuminate the common threads among the harbingers of the bizarre
and incorporate them into a communicable worldview. Or something.
So in that sense, we _are_ the New Traditionalists.
: Oops, just thought of them. "There's got to be something better
: than in the middle"... well, still. Until you can figure out WHAT'S
: better than in the middle, you're stuck there, with Tarla.
The middle is still on the surface. We're dealing with, uh, post-
geographical worldviews here. Was that pretentious enough for ya?
--
I HATE YOU ALL
Original file name: Dallas '98?
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