WOE, OH WOE!!!!
The Accursed BLEEDING HEAD OF JERRY GARCIA\ARIOCH
Has Been STOLEN From BabyLon Heights @ The Brushwood X-Day
Drill. It is
A SACRED ICON/FETISH/IDOL of THE GREAT BLACK SWAMP CLENCH
of The FIFTH Fist.
Yes, Yetis, not only the Palmer Head was defiled.
The Skull is made of a Dirty, Plastic-Like substance. It Is
Smallish
In Size and bears the Moorcock's symbol for CHaos on the front:<pre>
\ ^ /
\ l /
\ l /
<-----\-l-/------>
/l\
/ l \
/ l \
L v >
<pre>
The Base of the skull bears the following legend: "JERRY GARCIA IS
DEAD."
The Symbol resembles The attempted illustration above(provided my
spacing is preserved in this news posting). It also BEars A Number of
scars from ritual "Head Kicking" rites, and also from launchings.DO Not
LAUNCH THE HEAD!!! THis causes cracks
In the space time continuum of the kicker.
They are Not Entertaining.
THe Head MUST BE RETURNED to Its PROPER CONTAIMENT FACILLITY In
Bowling Green,OH or The Curse will activate on the present possessor. We
can only Guess at the skull's reasoning for Duping any Poor Misguided
Individuals into absconded with it.
But It has made aware to it's curators the fact that it WILL, nay, MUST
RETURN.
SHRINE KITCHEN LABRATORIES(tm) CANNOT be held responsible for any
COMPUTER CRASHES, VEHICULAR BREAKDOWNS, DATA LOSS, IRRIDATIION BURNS,
VISITATIONS from ELDER DEITIES, CHAOS MANIFESTATIONS, ERISIAN SPURNINGS,
CHAOTIC POSSESION, KINSLAYINGS by the
THEIF, LOSS OF TIME, ABDUCTION, ACCOUNT EMPTYING, ANIMAL MUTILATION,
CTHONIC DISTURBANCES, "DOBBS" SPURNING, LOSS OF OUTPUT, LOSS OF "SLACK",
WOW, FLUTTER, CONTRACT BREACHING, DEBT GAIN, GAMBLING LOSSES, THUGGEE
VISITATIONS, YAKUZA INFILTRATION, TONG
HARRASSMENT, MOB INVOLVEMENT, DIOCESE INVESTIGATION, PET POSSESION,
SHOGGOTH APPEARENCES, JESI MANIFESTATIONS, CABLE LOSS, ROD THROWINGS,
DEATH, CANCER, LEPORASY,
JEHOVAS WITNESS VISITS, TELEMARKETING CALLS, CONSTIPATION,etc.,In short,
we are NOT responsible in general. IF we were, the fie Fargobawlers whut
stole this here Icon would have been deader than Anothernet #subgenius
at three in the morning.
It was removed on saturday sometime (we think). A return would be
greatly appreciated, although we cant guarantee if or how quickly any
cursed effects might fade.
Any information Leading to its return will be left anonymous. Third
Party contact welcomed. you can pass a message to someone to pass to us.
It is a much loved, special plastic skull, and we can only pay a
pittance for its return.
However, we will be increaing the effects of the curse sliowly untill
you come to your senses. It may not be to late, and we will not be upset
if it returned. If you can ID it, Ill send a money order for Postage.
It was Removed from its stick in the ground near the center of
Babylon Heights, the foreast where Camp Alt.slack was located, near the
tents of Steve Slack, DYnasor,
and Absent/BJ and Gulnar/Kens tent
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Myrk@voicenet.com (Myrkury)
WOE UNTO ME! For I did not abscond with said skull, but only was present
at its misappropriation; and now I am laid low by a PAINFUL LUMP IN MY
BREAST!! This is very odd and unusual for a male Yeti and I'm busy
negotiating with the luck plane to have it turn out to be a zit rather than
a malignancy. Hopefully a full confession will result in blackhead over
biopsy! On Sunday morning myself and others were beating a retreat from
Brushwood when one among our little group noted said skull and presumed it
to be an abandoned sex toy belonging to necropheliac homosexual pagans. It
resided very breifly on the antenae of our car (which was slapped with a
(no longer) inexplicable $40.00 surcharge on return to the rental counter.
But it did not leave Brushwood in our possesion (THANK GOB! I want to live
till X-Day.) It departed our company down in the Southern corner of the
Brushwood facility, near the radio broadcast complex. Hopefully whoever
took custody down there has not yet DIED HORRIBLY and can remember where it
went.
The Accursed Rev. Myrkury
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "BJ Price (absent)" <Absent@Glasscity.net>
>
> The Accursed Rev. Myrkury
Hrrmm...perhaps you Might escape...YOu dont need to answerthese
questions, but help is appreciated...Alas. I so fatigue addled as to be
senseless...anyone of said accomplices could help me greatly here ifd
they can provide more specific info or even simply add to the
legend.Thanks for the help, Ill call brushwood..MAYBE it Turned up...
If Pagan Necrophiliacs didnt fuck its stump, damning even the elder
gods, for that is one of their weaknesses( which is why the skull is
VITAL for X-Drill...One can only question what fate you may have been
spared...
May Dobbs Have mercy on us all....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: friday@cybercom.net (IrRev. Friday Jones)
I belive that on SUNDAY early afternoon I saw a person walking parallel to
the main pavilion, towards the pool/cafe complex, shaking the Skull on a
stick like a maraca. That is the last time I saw the Skull.
-- IrReverend Friday Jones
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ttman@tiac.net
Subject: Re: Praise "Bob!," Skull found!
Date: Tue, 08 Jul 1997 12:06:53 GMT
Glad I happened upon your message. The skull of Jerry Garcia is safe
and sound. Blame it on Pastor Craig for dropping it in front of our
camp site (at radio station 90.5 FM. Or Kill Me). We didn't realize
it had been stolen. Needless to say, the chaos symbol seems to have
woked in its favor.
Right now, it's at our place in Boston. E me back to make
arrangements for its safe return.
Rev. Ragnar "Bus Stop Pest" Danneskjold
ttman@tiac.net
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
I sincerely hope, for the sake of the absconderer, that the Skull is still
safe and will be returned. It's not wise to mess with Sacred Heads or
Skulls.Thrice has the Original True Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer been
stolen from stages, and each time was returned (anonymously) with notes
detailing the bad luck that befell the thief. (I AM NOT LYING OR
EXAGGERATING.) During last year's Devival Slack Crusades Tour, one of the
$500 Replica Palmer Heads (Pope Jimbo's model) was stolen from the venue in
Madison Wisconsin -- which venue BURNED TO THE GROUND the next day (long
after we'd left town, of COURSE!).
WOE UNTO YE WHO DEFILETH THE HEADS.
***
None of our stuff was stolen, but then, I locked it up in the van every
night. The NOSE of the SECOND (and LAST) $500 Replica Palmer Head was
BITTEN OFF at the climax of the Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer Disco Soccer
Match by Pastor X (The Stunt Jesus) when He went into a spastic Head-Biting
frenzy, but I got Him to spit it out before He swallowed it, and I'm pretty
sure the nose socket can be healed.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "BJ Price (absent)" <Absent@wcnet.org>
The Foul Miscreants. They Some had confessed to Stealing...er
....borrowing it, but they said they left the stick.
After they returned their rental car (and Had Abandoned the Skull)they
were Charged an extra $40 fee(WHich WAS NOT waived by Dobbs).
DISSMISED AS COINCIDENCE!!!
The 'fessors will not be named for fear that the Cult Wich Follows The
Skull will track them down..
The Skull's current possesor has put it in the mail...We Shall see if
it makes it back...A Dobbs Sacred Coffemug was Devirginized to waive the
curse...We can only hope NGHGH didnt notice its absence...two sets of
theives, Three Dollars postage...At least it provided an excuse to
receive communication from the wonderful Friday Jones(thanks, Friday!)
Fear not...the Story of the Skulls Whole Saga will be related.
The Great Black Swamp Clench of The Fifth Fist Wishes to thank everyone
for their support.
There are times, I fear, When the only thing between us and the Nuge is
The Skull.
Mysteriously enough, The Skulls story Began at Brushwood The Day I was
ordained.
We dubbed it and Played a game soon to be called "Kick the head"!!! It
was at Robert Shea's last Starwood. Leary was there also. We Played over
the top of The hill above Where the Palmer Head was just desecrated.
A few Summers ago, I awoke from a Sound sleep in the wee hours of the
morn.
I attempted to log on to the net and failed. While waiting (still in a
sleep stupor)
I wrote the following name of a song By the doktorband"SATAN-TORTILLA"
on the base of the Skull where the spine would go..."JERRY GARCIA IS
DEAD". THAT HOUR, HE PASSED AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!NO SHIT! Jesus once told you
I dont Lie. Selah.
Needless to say, we have reason to fear,nay Loathe this monstrous Item.
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "BJ Price (absent)" <Absent@wcnet.org>
Subject: SKULL RETURNED! DAMAGED IN IDENTICAL PLACE TO PALMERHEAD!
Date: Tue, 15 Jul 1997 05:45:07 -0400
The blledind skull of Arioch adJerry Garcia(simultaneosly) has been
returned...but
it NOW possesses a huge CRACK (of the variety derived from SHAKING IT
LIKE A MARACA)
that runs from the base of the nose through the eye socket to the Chaos
Symbol.
We are joyous at its return; and are accepting donations for a tube of
superglue.
Send a Dollar to
FIX THE SKULL!!!c/o william Price
175 1/2 N Main Bowling Green OH
43402
Original file name: CURSED SKULL
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