From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <email@example.com>
Date: Fri, Mar 10, 2000 3:24 PM
Anything I'm SUPPOSED to do, I don't WANT to do until later!
I'm 3/4 through this week's Hour of Slack -- a day late on my own
dubbing schedule already -- but do I want to just FINISH UP and lay
down the NEXT CUT? NO! I want to TYPE WORDS for NO KNOWN DESTINATION
and muse about this upcoming Church Field Trip to Amsterdam, Holland.
Some of the AMATEUR level Stangophiles and stalkers probably figure I'm
looking forward to all the INCREDIBLY POWERFUL THC MOLECULES easily
available in Amsterdam, and that I plan to stay "toasted" the whole
time. While that might ACCIDENTALLY happen, I'm mainly looking forward
to seeing the WEIRD LITTLE ANCIENT STREETS and BIZARRE ASS
ARCHITECTURE. I've been to Europe before, so I have some grasp of what
to expect, and my favorite thing to expect are those WEIRD STREETS. And
the SMELLS. And the seemingly almost-comprehensible language of the
Dutch. And their strange comic books. And the little wooden shoes,
tulips and windmills, that's the MAIN thing.
No, it's not the ENDLESS GEYSERS OF THE SKUNKLIEST MARIJUANA EXTRACTS,
nor the fine beers, nor the world reknowned prostitutes, nor even the
Torture Museum, but just the plain ordinary streets and houses. That's
my FAVORITE PART of any foreign country. The landscapes, street scenes,
noise and smell combinations. SCREW the PEOPLE... they're all just more
milling hateful humans, seen one, seen 'em all. But their architectural
eccentricities from one tribe to another continue to delight me. Some
people are into "world music" but I'm into "world street scenes."
Yoyopro just told me that in Amsterdam, because the teeny houses are so
NARROW, you can't get furniture up stairs, so you hoist it up the front
of the building to get things onto a second or third story. So they
BUILD THE HOUSES with a DR. SEUSS-LIKE CURVATURE OVERHANG!! This
skewed, Lovecraftian, or rather Tex Averian, architecture supposedly
gives everything a fish-eye lens type effect, also known as the
That's what I'm looking forward to. And the decrepit cobblestone
streets and FREAKISH smelling food and crazed tourist trap street
vendor behavior. To eat things that I never dreamed might be edible.
And the MUSEUMS. I love museums. ALL KIND MUSEUMS. If we save any
souls, well that's just fine. I mainly intend to *SEE* things. And
sniff 'em. Even FEEL OF 'em, if I can.
Hey, does anybody know of a KICK-ASS book of DUTCH history for the last
600 years or so? My impression is that they are such a scientifically
advanced race that they could easily have conquored and enslaved all
the world's peoples, but instead they legalized marijuana and fucking.
Gosh, what were they thinking?
Copyright 2000 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 2nd Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected: PO Box 19355 Cleveland OH 44119
The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.: PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack / PRABOB
Subject: Re: AmsterDammy-fine!
From: nu-monet <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: Fri, Mar 10, 2000 10:02 PM
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> Anything I'm SUPPOSED to do, I don't WANT to do until later!
> I'm 3/4 through this week's Hour of Slack -- a day late on my own
> dubbing schedule already -- but do I want to just FINISH UP and lay
> down the NEXT CUT? NO! I want to TYPE WORDS for NO KNOWN DESTINATION
> and muse about this upcoming Church Field Trip to Amsterdam, Holland.
I know you don't want to just come out and say it, but sometimes
you have to be cruel to be kind. Those poor Yetisyny who are
left behind should know that while we are away, pleasuring
ourselves in a disgusting and sordid manner, they will have to
contend with a brief but fierce war.
While we are smoking 'Frop, drinking 'Frop, eating 'Frop, snorting
'Frop, getting 'Frop enemas while doing "Five-dollar pick-ups" at
smokey bistros and 'Frop dens, the US and China will be throwing
vast amounts of military das product at each other, to include the
Well, sorry guys, but you had your chance. By the time XXX rolls
around, we will show up, all tanned and rested and sexually
gratified, to meet all you rationed, radiation-sick and otherwise
deprived victims at Brushwood.
Just remember, it wasn't personal. "Bob" just looked forth one
day and said,
"Who didn't quit their job and slack off?"
Subject: Re: AmsterDammy-fine!
From: email@example.com (Rev. Prostata Cantata)
Date: Mon, Mar 13, 2000 5:27 PM
In article <firstname.lastname@example.org>,
Rev. Ivan Stang <email@example.com> wrote:
>Hey, does anybody know of a KICK-ASS book of DUTCH history for the last
>600 years or so? My impression is that they are such a scientifically
>advanced race that they could easily have conquored and enslaved all
>the world's peoples, but instead they legalized marijuana and fucking.
>Gosh, what were they thinking?
I guess we'll find out.
Frommer's "irreverent guide to Amsterdam" has this to say on the
"... The talants and resources of the early immigrants fueled everything
from diamond polishing (still and important industry) to shipuilding and
international trade. The creation of the East India Company, founded by
natives and immigrants in 1602, ushers in the golden age of the 17th
century, when Amsterdam briefly reigned as the world's most populous and
powerful city. As the Company's headquarters, Amsterdam in effect ruled a
vast commercial empire, with satellites in South frica, Indonesia, Sri
Lanka, Goa, and China. As the company grew embarrassingly rich, so too did
Amsterdam. today the East India Company is reviled by young Amsterdammers
guilty about their checkered colonial past, but like it or not, the
corportion helped make Amsterdam the handsom prosperous capital it is
today. It also helped create the city's signature red-light district:
Practical-minded city governors saw it as the best means to prevent
sailors from raping the wives and daughters of the locals (and it helped
that it also generated considerable income, as it still does today)..."
Subject: Re: AmsterDammy-fine!
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Sterno)
Date: Tue, Mar 14, 2000 9:07 AM
> email@example.com wrote:
> > My favorite part is the hotel. Mmmmmm clean sheets, fresh towels, room
> > service with blonde aryan youths in smart, tight uniform pants...
MY favorite part is the GIGANTIC NEGRESS HOOKER ALLEY in the Red Light
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