Subgenius Digest Monday, July 6 1998 Volume 06 : Number 1269
[SubG] !
Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
[SubG] At long last...
Re: [SubG] !
Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
Re: [SubG] X-Day
Re: [SubG] X-Day
Re: [SubG] X-Day
Re: [SubG] X-Day
Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
[SubG] #Actual Court Transcripts
Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
[SubG] I
Re: [SubG] I
[SubG] re: RE: Re: Subgenius Digest V6 #1268 Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
Re: [SubG] I
Re: [SubG] !
Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
Re: [SubG] !
[SubG] Sporadic ruptures
Re: [SubG] Today
Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
Re: [SubG] !
Re: [SubG] re: RE: Re: Subgenius Digest V6 #1268 Re: [SubG] !
[SubG] Something I just thought of
Re: [SubG] Something I just thought of
Re: [SubG] Something I just thought of
Re: [SubG] Something I just thought of
Re: [SubG] Something I just thought of
Re: [SubG] Something I just thought of
Re: [SubG] Something I just thought of
[SubG] live feed from space
Re: [SubG] !
Re: [SubG] !
Re: [SubG] !
[SubG] Reflections
Re: [SubG] Reflections
[SubG] x-day
Re: [SubG] Reflections
------------------------------------------------------------- X-Repost-Trap: This line helps prevent re-posts of the digest.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 03:54:32 -0500
From: Dave Voorhis <dave@armchair.mb.ca> Subject: [SubG] !
Well. So much for that.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 03:57:55 -0500
From: Dave Voorhis <dave@armchair.mb.ca> Subject: Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
At 12:47 AM 7/5/98 -0400, RDM wondered:
>...when you believe you're the ONLY rational person in the world[?]
That depends... _ARE_ you the only rational person in the world?
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 07:27:28 -0700
From: Reverend Puz Fundles <baalSPAMLESS@pacbell.net> Subject: [SubG] At long last...
That was some good wine, cheeze and smoke. Happy X-Day my brothers and sisters and other. Die pinks!
Reverend Puz Fundles
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 5 Jul 1998 16:57:38 +0100
From: Replicant <replicant@null.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] !
Dave wrote:
>Well. So much for that.
I dunno. Let's say the Xists get up at a much more sensible hour, say 11 am; then they spend two or three hours generally getting their shit together, so they set off at 2; then it takes another couple of hours using their hyperspatial drives to get here; so the Annihilation starts at 4pm. I'm calculating in Eastern time, so that's in five hours' time; they should hit England at about 9 pm local time.
THEN that's it.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 12:01:46 -0400
From: "Rev. Dr. Mario" <revmario@netrox.net> Subject: Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
Dave Voorhis wrote:
>At 12:47 AM 7/5/98 -0400, RDM wondered:
>>...when you believe you're the ONLY rational person in the world[?]
>That depends... _ARE_ you the only rational person in the world?
I only want to know what the term is. I'm certainly NOT looking for verification from a probable lunatic such as yourself. I mean, what the hell would that get me?
"Hey, crazy shits, I'm not looney like you , right?"
"Hell, no, RDM!! You sane mothefucker!! That's why we hate you. We envy your consistancy."
or
"Yep. Gobble, gobble."
Either way, it's no help.
- --
Rev. Dr. Mario
http://members.aol.com/Meursault/index.html
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 12:53:28 -0400
From: "Kirb" <akirby@csrlink.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
RDM still wonders...
>Dave Voorhis wrote:
>>At 12:47 AM 7/5/98 -0400, RDM wondered:
>>>...when you believe you're the ONLY rational person in the world[?]
>>That depends... _ARE_ you the only rational person in the world?
>I only want to know what the term is.
Solipsism.
Well, not quite, but it's close
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 13:09:30 -0400
From: "Kirb" <akirby@csrlink.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
I offered...
>Solipsism.
Wondering if "monomania" might fit the bill, I hauled out the old dictionary. As always, I got sidetracked by other interesting words, and I came across this gem:
Monothecal, adj: having only one theca.
It is impossible to argue with that.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 13:38:17 -0400
From: Michelle Levin <rmlevin228@earthlink.net> Subject: Re: [SubG] X-Day
Matthew Spong wrote:
>2 days to go and I feel fine. Goodbye Stang and all you other shitheads. Just take the money and get out.
>Hail ,,oBo,, full of cheese, for slack is with THEE! Blessed art thou and blessed is the fuit of thy bowels. Give us this day our daily yak, and lead us not into sending any money to any damn PO box, for there are more important things to do. Michelle, I love you.
>/- -\ Matthew Spong <elric@real.com.au>
>__/-----\__ "Brain damage may spark creative talent." (Reuters)
>/( )^( )\ +61 2 9660 1920
>/\ l /\ Sydney Australia
>(( \___/ ))
>\#/ http://members.tripod.com/~MSpong/
you love me?
- -michelle aka kleef
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 6 Jul 1998 03:58:06 +1000
From: Matthew Spong <elric@real.com.au>
Subject: Re: [SubG] X-Day
>Matthew Spong wrote:
>>2 days to go and I feel fine. Goodbye Stang and all you other shitheads. Just take the money and get out.
>>Hail ,,oBo,, full of cheese, for slack is with THEE! Blessed art thou and blessed is the fuit of thy bowels. Give us this day our daily yak, and lead us not into sending any money to any damn PO box, for there are more important things to do. Michelle, I love you.
>you love me?
>-michelle aka kleef
Yes, but I'm talking mainly about MY Michelle, my personal sex goddess and the real reason that I decided to stay on earth.
How long have you been lurking anyway?
/- -\ Matthew Spong <elric@real.com.au>
__/-----\__ "Brain damage may spark creative talent." (Reuters)
/( )^( )\ +61 2 9660 1920
/\ l /\ Sydney Australia
(( \___/ ))
\#/ http://members.tripod.com/~MSpong/
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 11:39:24 -0700
From: "Tim O'Neil" <burf@flash.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] X-Day
Matthew Spong wrote:
>>>2 days to go and I feel fine. Goodbye Stang and all you other shitheads. Just take the money and get out.
>>>Hail ,,oBo,, full of cheese, for slack is with THEE! Blessed art thou and blessed is the fuit of thy bowels. Give us this day our daily yak, and
lead
>>>us not into sending any money to any damn PO box, for there are more important things to do. Michelle, I love you.
>>you love me?
>>-michelle aka kleef
Matt, you three-timing bastard. You told me you loved ME. I hope you spontaneously combust.
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 6 Jul 1998 04:50:52 +1000
From: Matthew Spong <elric@real.com.au>
Subject: Re: [SubG] X-Day
>Matthew Spong wrote:
>>>>2 days to go and I feel fine. Goodbye Stang and all you other shitheads. Just take the money and get out.
>>>>Hail ,,oBo,, full of cheese, for slack is with THEE! Blessed art thou and blessed is the fuit of thy bowels. Give us this day our daily yak, and
>lead
>>>>us not into sending any money to any damn PO box, for there are more important things to do. Michelle, I love you.
>>>you love me?
>>>-michelle aka kleef
>Matt, you three-timing bastard. You told me you loved ME. I hope you spontaneously combust.
Yes, but that was before I saw your picture...
/- -\ Matthew Spong <elric@real.com.au>
__/-----\__ "Brain damage may spark creative talent." (Reuters)
/( )^( )\ +61 2 9660 1920
/\ l /\ Sydney Australia
(( \___/ ))
\#/ http://members.tripod.com/~MSpong/
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 15:02:13 -0400
From: "Rev. Dr. Mario" <revmario@netrox.net> Subject: Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
Kirb makes a fine effort:
>I offered...
>>Solipsism.
>Wondering if "monomania" might fit the bill, I hauled out the old dictionary. As always, I got sidetracked by other interesting words, and I came across this gem:
>Monothecal, adj: having only one theca.
>It is impossible to argue with that.
My archaic dictionary didn't know from "monothecal." "Theca" was not a problem, it being a case or sheath such as the outer covering of the pupa of certian insects. I think I could do with a theca.
Solipsism is close but I need something more psycho-pathological. I need a mania. Perhaps "solimania" but that only translates as "obsession with the self" which is true anyway. Besides, "solipsism" doesn't necessarily include the belief that everyone is nuts.
I'm looking for "obsession with other people's obsessions" (maniamania?) or "obsession with one's own sanity" (sanitamania?) or something that combines both terms.
- --
Rev. Dr. Maniac
http://members.aol.com/Meursault/index.html
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 5 Jul 1998 15:21:28 EDT
From: <Rasgon@aol.com>
Subject: Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
<<I'm looking for "obsession with other people's obsessions" (maniamania?) or
"obsession with one's own sanity" (sanitamania?) or something that combines both terms.
--
Rev. Dr. Maniac >>
"Awake"
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 14:20:45 -0400
From: "Kirb" <akirby@csrlink.net>
Subject: [SubG] #Actual Court Transcripts
Great moments in American jurisprudence...
Q. Are you restricted in some way by having your third finger shot off? A. Yeah - a little.
Q. What could you do before the accident that you can't do now? A. Wear a ring on it
- ----------
Q. What device do you have in the laboratory to measure alcohol content? A. A dual column gas chromatograph, Hewlett Packard 5710A with flame analyzation detectors
Q. Can you get that with mag wheels?
A. Only on the floor models
- ------------
Q. Do you recall examining a person by the name of Rodney Edgington at the funeral chapel?
A. Yes
Q. Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edgington?
A. It was in the evening. The autospsy started at about 8:30 pm Q. And Mr. Edgington was dead at taht time, is that correct? A. No you dumb asshole, He was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 16:02:47 -0400
From: "Kirb" <akirby@csrlink.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
RDM, still wondering, writes...
>>>Solipsism.
>>Wondering if "monomania" might fit the bill
>I'm looking for "obsession with other people's obsessions" (maniamania?) or "obsession with one's own sanity" (sanitamania?) or something that combines both terms.
Solipsism: The theory that the self is the only thing that can be known and verified.
Monomania: Intent concentration on or exaggerated enthusiasm for a single subject or idea
I fed your symptoms to http://www.mentalhealth.com/ and it looks like
(Drum roll please)
Narcissistic personality disorder.
Either that, or you're buggier than a loon.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 16:05:56 -0400
From: "Rev. Dr. Mario" <revmario@netrox.net> Subject: Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
Kirb makes his diagnosis:
>Narcissistic personality disorder.
Yeah, I guess that'll do. Doesn't really capture the basic paranoia of it all, though. I never considered myself narcissistic before. Just extraordinarily pretty.
>Either that, or you're buggier than a loon.
Same difference, I think.
I knew I could count on you.
- --
Rev. Dr. Mario
http://members.aol.com/Meursault/index.html
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 5 Jul 1998 17:55:32 -0300
From: "Joseph 'Anonymous' Howe" <nobody@privacy.nb.ca> Subject: [SubG] I
wish there was light at the end of the tunnel. You know?
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 15:56:01 -0500
From: Dave Voorhis <dave@armchair.mb.ca> Subject: Re: [SubG] I
At 05:55 PM 7/5/98 -0300, it wrote:
>wish there was light at the end of the tunnel. You know?
No.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 5 Jul 1998 14:04:27 -0700 (PDT) From: Brandon Elliott <chicken@rain.org> Subject: [SubG] re: RE: Re: Subgenius Digest V6 #1268
baal@spamlerss, you sure sound like you know how to have a good time. Mario, if I was twelve, I'd head-bang.
I'm in Lacrosse, WI. This is a cool kicked party town. I hate it. There isn't a speck of cosmopolitain tolerance anywhere on this town. It's perfect. Me an ignorance and apple pie. Beer beer beer. Liquor makes me too chameleonic. This appears to be my day for new words. Like I wanted to drop acid and walk around drunk-fest. Like I want to lift weights. Like I want to stop smoking so I can stay alive. That which is easy yields no rewards. I come from the yuppiest place I've ever been. So much pinkness and stupidity and blatant ignorance *pant-pant froth-froth*... It makes you wanna grab an AK and lay low the football joes and cheerleader suzies. The alphas first. Then the omegas - the suck-ups. Copper-top reloads. Acka-acka-ack. I learned how to role-play. I learned how to act. I can do it. It's just when I do it on drugs, like july 4th 93, 94... We were the hippie camp on the republican beach. That was spectacular. I've never seen so many lears turen into shrieks of surprise. Cylindrical m-80 looking pink things, a wrist-rocket, and a carton of MY BRAND. In 93 it was Camel Filters. Now I hate em. Go figure. But I digress, I was dancing on the shore in my foxhole with the netting up top and some plywood with sand under it... We took a couple rockets but it was so fucking fun. One guy grabs the next fireflower, pull back, bitch-wick yer stoge up, then touch it. Wait for the flare-up. Release. Then somebody hands you a smoking pipe and you're inhaling before they notice the light getting brighter. Sweet revenge.
Then I got busted. Psoriasis can drive a man to hate drinkers. I smoke weed. I got busted for it. I pushed my trial date back under thee floormat of turning yonder 18 years and haven't looked back. I talk. Oh, do I talk. But I don't break laws. I enjoy women and weed and freedom. The thing people don't have when they are hiding or in jail. Plus the stress. I shed stress and responsibility like water off a duck's back. The easiest way to never lose money is carry around a backpack full of cinder block parts and rebar brambles. A nice backpack. Which you get people to watch for you while you he he bars. Bars are cool and here's my friend. I'm giving LaCrosse one more night to entertain or kill me. Then I'm probably gonna cruise back towards British Columbia. Yeah right. I'm just going where the next free ride is and I'll take measures to be safe.
There. That's about some 75% real stuff. The names have been mutated to protect the guilty's sense of my imminent death. Innocent people should not fear popular opinion.
Sometimes I wonder what it's like to have but one opinion and persona. Sometimes I think I wouldn't be so different if everybody didn't chant it throughout my education.
I didn't ask to be different. It's fun. It's lonely. People trip out. The easiest way to get an empty head is to fear what you can't understand yet. A yogi can make you believe in hippie peace and love. No amount of psychobabble will sway the most staunch yuppie. Ask guru Jones. I don't want them to understand. I just point at which doughnut I like.
/Pope Random of Yuppie Babylon/
P.S. Yelling We Love you scares of cokeheads and a-campers. P.P.S. Crackheads never did me any favors.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 16:08:27 -0500
From: Dave Voorhis <dave@armchair.mb.ca> Subject: Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
At 03:02 PM 7/5/98 -0400, RDM babbled:
>I'm looking for "obsession with other people's obsessions" (maniamania?) or "obsession with one's own sanity" (sanitamania?) or something that combines both terms.
Unless these feelings bother you to the point of distraction (and, therefore, dysfunction), I'd have to go with "neurotic."
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 14:18:09 -0700
From: "Tim O'Neil" <burf@flash.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] I
Wet and clamy wrote:
>wish there was light at the end of the tunnel. You know?
Yeah.
Its called the headlamp of a train.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 16:24:50 -0500
From: Dave Voorhis <dave@armchair.mb.ca> Subject: Re: [SubG] !
At 04:57 PM 7/5/98 +0100, one of them wrote:
>Dave wrote:
>>Well. So much for that.
>I dunno. Let's say the Xists get up at a much more sensible hour, say 11 am [buncha stuff, nusked...]
>THEN that's it.
Yeah.
Actually, I'd merely started out lamenting the fact that I'd consumed the last of my `frop, and DAMN GOOD `FROP IT WAS. Then I realized the SAME lament would cover the general lack of overall X-Day-Annihilation. Then I realized the TWO are ONE AND THE SAME. Is it a mere COINCIDENCE that the LAST of my `frop CEASED TO BE at EXACTLY THE TIME when the WORLD _SHOULD_ CEASE TO BE?
I think not.
Of course, it presumes that I am not just AT the centre of the universe, nor _am_ I the CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, but that I AM THE UNIVERSE ITSELF. I find that notion rather comforting, but it does mean I'm a bit fatter -- by a few hundred million light-years -- than I originally thought.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 18:42:28 -0400
From: "Rev. Dr. Mario" <revmario@netrox.net> Subject: Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
Dave Voorhis wrote:
>At 03:02 PM 7/5/98 -0400, RDM babbled:
>>I'm looking for "obsession with other people's obsessions" (maniamania?) or "obsession with one's own sanity" (sanitamania?) or something that combines both terms.
>Unless these feelings bother you to the point of distraction (and, therefore, dysfunction), I'd have to go with "neurotic."
That's the best one yet, although I still feel it's too general. Fuck it. I'm just going to go back to feeling that I'm the Messiah.
- --
Rev. Dr. Savior
http://members.aol.com/Meursault/index.html
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 18:53:15 -0400
From: "Rev. Dr. Mario" <revmario@netrox.net> Subject: Re: [SubG] !
Dave Voorhis wrote:
>Of course, it presumes that I am not just AT the centre of the universe, nor _am_ I the CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, but that I AM THE UNIVERSE ITSELF. I find that notion rather comforting, but it does mean I'm a bit fatter -- by a few hundred million light-years -- than I originally thought.
Oh, THAT'S JUST GREAT!! No sooner do I comfortably settle myself into a nice Messiah complex than Boris-fucking-Voorhis announces he's the universe thus engendering in me feelings of inadequacy. Isn't it enough that Mom always liked you better? Wasn't it enough to steal all my boyfriends in high school?
Do you have to take THIS away from me, too?
"Yeah, sure. He's the messiah but DAVE'S the whole UNIVERSE!!"
Wonderful. My new notions of inferiority have just made me wet myself.
WHY ISN'T EVERYBODY DEAD, YET??????
- --
Rev. Dr. Not-Quite-So-Good-As-Dave
http://members.aol.com/Meursault/index.html
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 5 Jul 1998 19:40:02 EDT
From: <Rasgon@aol.com>
Subject: [SubG] Sporadic ruptures
I've just had to clean up after the twelve Ruptured SubGenii I know of in the area. It was extremely inconvenient. How many at your end, so far? Being Unsaved, I'm goin' down with the ship.
Oh well, back to my limp wanking. Or is it the wanking that makes me limp? Regardless, I can thank Priapus for Viagra.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 20:52:49 -0400
From: Brother 52 <crom@attcanada.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] Today
Dave Voorhis wrote:
... Did Tick and Beanbag actually get married TO THEIR
>CATS and not to each other?
Actually, it was my penis that got married.
- -Tick
- --
A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate... ...Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place. -Oberon
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 5 Jul 1998 18:55:16 -0600
From: "Oberon" <oberon2@home.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
>I'm looking for "obsession with other people's obsessions" (maniamania?) or "obsession with one's own sanity" (sanitamania?) or something that combines both terms.
hypochondric auto-neurosicm.
>--
>Rev. Dr. Maniac
>http://members.aol.com/Meursault/index.html
()beron
- -Blanksig(tm), copyright OberCorp '98-
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 6 Jul 1998 02:21:33 +0100
From: Replicant <replicant@null.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] What do you call it...
RDM wrote:
>I'm looking for "obsession with other people's obsessions" (maniamania?) or "obsession with one's own sanity" (sanitamania?) or something that combines both terms.
Hmm. How about "monomensanamania"? ("mensano" being as in "mens sana in corpore sano". (That's probably spelt wrong, Latin never was my strong suit.)
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 6 Jul 1998 02:21:36 +0100
From: Replicant <replicant@null.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] !
Rev. Dr. Not-Quite-So-Good-As-Dave wrote:
>WHY ISN'T EVERYBODY DEAD, YET??????
Hey, why aren't YOU dead? Don't you live in Florida? You should be barbecued by now. And Brian, too.
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 6 Jul 1998 02:21:38 +0100
From: Replicant <replicant@null.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] re: RE: Re: Subgenius Digest V6 #1268
Boredom Elliott wrote:
>I'm in Lacrosse, WI. ...
>[nusk me 'til my EARS BLEED]
Yawn. What is this, has the lack of alien annihilation on X-Day been taken as a signal, "Lurkers, Delurk"? Couldn't we at least have some interesting ones?
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 21:20:05 -0400
From: "Kirb" <akirby@csrlink.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] !
RDM scribbles, in haste...
>Dave Voorhis wrote:
>>Of course, it presumes that I am not just AT the centre of the universe, nor _am_ I the CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, but that I AM THE UNIVERSE ITSELF. I find that notion rather comforting, but it does mean I'm a bit fatter
- --
>>by a few hundred million light-years -- than I originally thought.
>Oh, THAT'S JUST GREAT!! No sooner do I comfortably settle myself into a
nice
>Messiah complex than Boris-fucking-Voorhis announces he's the universe thus engendering in me feelings of inadequacy. Isn't it enough that Mom always liked you better? Wasn't it enough to steal all my boyfriends in high
school?
He's bluffing - universe, my ass. Here - I'll prove it:
Voorhis: if you're the universe, I'm a part of you, right? OK, make this erection go away.
I'm waiting...
As I thought - he can't even read my mind while I'm typing this, the piker! Some bloody universe he is. I've seen more convincing universes in jam jars.
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 6 Jul 1998 02:27:32 +0100
From: Replicant <replicant@null.net>
Subject: [SubG] Something I just thought of
>From a conversation I was having with Dave:
>[rs.internic.net]
>Registrant:
>The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. (SUBGENIUS-DOM)
>PO Box 140306
>Dallas, TX 75214
>Domain Name: SUBGENIUS.COM
>Administrative Contact:
>Smith, Douglass (DS12359) i.stang@METRONET.COM (214)320-1561 (FAX) (214)320-1561
So who wants to MINDFUCK Douglass "Stang" Smith? Form an orderly queue...
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 5 Jul 1998 21:28:13 -0400 (EWT) From: Tom Rini <tmrini@ntplx.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] Something I just thought of
On Mon, 6 Jul 1998, Replicant wrote:
>>Administrative Contact:
>>Smith, Douglass (DS12359) i.stang@METRONET.COM (214)320-1561 (FAX) (214)320-1561
>So who wants to MINDFUCK Douglass "Stang" Smith? Form an orderly queue...
Betcha those aren't his real phone numbers, the bastard!
- ---
Tom Rini (TR1265)
http://dobbstown.yeti.edu/
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 21:31:42 -0400
From: "Kirb" <akirby@csrlink.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] Something I just thought of
Repliant writes...
>>Administrative Contact:
>>Smith, Douglass (DS12359) i.stang@METRONET.COM (214)320-1561 (FAX) (214)320-1561
>So who wants to MINDFUCK Douglass "Stang" Smith? Form an orderly queue...
Replicant, you are an evil genius. I doff my prophylactic devices to you, sir!
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 6 Jul 1998 02:49:43 +0100
From: Replicant <replicant@null.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] Something I just thought of
Kirb writes:
>Repliant writes...
^^^^^^^^
The one who replies?
>>>Administrative Contact:
>>>Smith, Douglass (DS12359) i.stang@METRONET.COM (214)320-1561 (FAX) (214)320-1561
>>So who wants to MINDFUCK Douglass "Stang" Smith? Form an orderly queue...
>Replicant, you are an evil genius. I doff my prophylactic devices to you, sir!
Credit where credit's due, Dave originally got that information. I just noticed the creature's phone #... and his FAX number. [Evil Laugh]
Talking of Dave, I have only one thing to say to him: DV456. And to anybody else, you're gonna have to find out what that means yourselves.
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 6 Jul 1998 02:49:46 +0100
From: Replicant <replicant@null.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] Something I just thought of
Tom Rini wrote:
>Betcha those aren't his real phone numbers, the bastard!
Well, you're in the US, aren't you? Make a "wrong number" call and find out.
By the way, how did you register "yeti.edu"? Aren't you supposed to provide proof of being a university or something? (Forgive me if I'm being dense.)
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 21:56:50 -0400
From: "Kirb" <akirby@csrlink.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] Something I just thought of
Repliant argues...
>Kirb writes:
>>Repliant writes...
>^^^^^^^^
>The one who replies?
No. The one who can be folded, over and over.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 5 Jul 1998 22:04:15 -0400 (EWT) From: Tom Rini <tmrini@ntplx.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] Something I just thought of
On Mon, 6 Jul 1998, Replicant wrote:
>Tom Rini wrote:
>>Betcha those aren't his real phone numbers, the bastard!
>Well, you're in the US, aren't you? Make a "wrong number" call and find out.
Well, there prolly is a phone up here someplace, but damned if i'm gonna look too hard.
>By the way, how did you register "yeti.edu"? Aren't you supposed to provide proof of being a university or something? (Forgive me if I'm being dense.)
Sure, NOW you need all sorts of real proof. Back when I grabbed it you just had to say you were a univ. Hoping one of these days Intel tries to offer me oodles of pentiums so my "students" can learn on 'em or something.
- ---
Tom Rini (TR1265)
http://dobbstown.yeti.edu/
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 5 Jul 1998 22:04:44 EDT
From: <Ayhnum1@aol.com>
Subject: [SubG] live feed from space
Hi this is Ayhnum1 speaking to you directly from my pleasure saucer located just west of alpha beta in the terra quadrent. Sex drugs and rock and roll day and
night and our giant bathrooms with the jacuzzi toilets make barphing a truly
religious experience. I watched the earth explode behind me, so all of you still on the planet are merely experiencing a loop nexus that will become increasingly more preposterous as time and memory line continues into total non-existence and anihilation (sometimes I wonder who's having the most fun but the fucking chicks up here are taking my mind off those really mundane earth
realities that were so fuckin limiting- And now that I am greater than God, the Universe
and my local tax assessor, I think I will play some religious pranks on the brutals
of the gamma quadrent, rape and pillage some of the lesser gallaxies and cause the apocalypse on some of the gutless planets whom have obeyed my word to its fullest extent- Yeah That Oughta teach them all right-- Fuckin sinners and ingrates
who do they think they are- I keep asking them "who the fuck is the God" and they
say "you are" OK then, could you all move that mountain, lay prostrate before me
and throw thi'neselves oft he decapitation cliffs of self sacrificial clensing before noon
everyone, please make it snappy I have appointments ya know other civilizations you
know I can't just spend all day with my chosen people when there are soooo many
who are as yet unchosen and need the pillar of fire resurection and decapitation, come
on faster I need a heep of bloody bodies down there and the blood in the valley is
only knee high-- keep them coming-people- chop chop
Never obey a God whose social security checks come a week late in the mail
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 22:01:59 -0500
From: Dave Voorhis <dave@armchair.mb.ca> Subject: Re: [SubG] !
At 09:20 PM 7/5/98 -0400, the Kirb subdivision of All-That-I-Am tried trickery:
>As I thought - he can't even read my mind while I'm typing this, the piker! Some bloody universe he is. I've seen more convincing universes in jam jars.
Hah! Think you can diminish my/our power by claiming I/we are NOT THE UNIVERSE on the basis of a LIE? If I/we had made that erection sink any faster, that portion of Me known as "Kirb" woulda flown around the room like a DAMN LOOSE BALLOON, complete with a silly "ffffffffffpppp" deflation noise.
I/we de-erected you/us, and we know it.
And I've half a mind to MAKE SURE you never have an erection again. I'll do it just as soon as I find the OTHER half...
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 06 Jul 1998 00:20:15 -0400
From: "Kirb" <akirby@csrlink.net>
Subject: Re: [SubG] !
At 23:01, Dave Voorhis figured out what the caps-lock key does, and typed...
>At 09:20 PM 7/5/98 -0400, the Kirb subdivision of All-That-I-Am tried trickery:
>>As I thought - he can't even read my mind while I'm typing this, the
piker!
>>Some bloody universe he is. I've seen more convincing universes in jam
jars.
>Hah! Think you can diminish my/our power by claiming I/we are NOT THE UNIVERSE on the basis of a LIE? If I/we had made that erection sink any faster, that portion of Me known as "Kirb" woulda flown around the room like a DAMN LOOSE BALLOON, complete with a silly "ffffffffffpppp" deflation noise.
>I/we de-erected you/us, and we know it.
The deflation noise was a nice touch I'll grant you, but argue with this if you can:
While you were off trying to tend to every corner of yourself, being everything and all, you missed me pissing into your cacti. You're not going to want to eat the flowers off the red one _this_ Labor Day.
And while you were fussing around the "grainy" spots in your fabric ("do these galaxies make me look fat?"), I had time to draw, and ftp this -
http://members.xoom.com/akirby/drawings/elmer.gif
Imagine - I had time to draw something that will amuse my kids in the morning, while you were wasting time arguing with an idiot like me.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 23:32:31 -0500
From: Dave Voorhis <dave@armchair.mb.ca> Subject: Re: [SubG] !
At 12:20 AM 7/6/98 -0400, the "Kirb" process wrote:
>While you were off trying to tend to every corner of yourself, being everything and all, you missed me pissing into your cacti.
No, I/we didn't miss you/me/us pissing into my/our cacti, because it was you/me/us DOING THE PISSING.
Anyway, whose idea do you think it was to do said pissing?
That's right. It was MY/OUR idea.
>You're not going
>to want to eat the flowers off the red one _this_ Labor Day.
Admittedly, that's true. But I had no plans to eat the flowers off the red one ANYWAY.
>http://members.xoom.com/akirby/drawings/elmer.gif
>Imagine - I had time to draw something that will amuse my kids in the morning, while you were wasting time arguing with an idiot like me.
Er... Yeah. I think the "Warner Bros." part of me would like to speak with you about copyrights. Anyway, aren't your, er... OUR brats a tad old for that sort of thing?
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 23:44:23 -0500
From: Pope Zypgx I <mindglue@tca.net>
Subject: [SubG] Reflections
It was when I was just a young girl, maybe eighteen or nineteen, not that I am much older than that now, that I sat in the lotus position in my apartment on the wooden floor. The television crackled with one of those white-static stations, the kind that make your head burn like a candle when you are meditating. The lights were off, which made my huge New Orleans victorian-turn-crackhouse dwelling resemble a dank cave. My naked body shivered there on the floor as I chanted the hundred names of the mother Sekhmet. Rain assaulted the thick panes of my french windows, causing the oddly shaped droplets to reflect the interior candlelight in stange ways.
Suddenly, I felt as if my whole body had shattered into atomic bits. No longer in my apartment, I walked a shining pathway to a burning flame. Shards of glass pierced my feet, towards the ever-burning desert. How lovely is a camel? GIMMEL of BABYLON. The priestess, she waited at the end, the veil drawn and her knees parted. Waiting. She was a redhead. Wine. I drank from her, becoming the Holy Whore myself. I gained perfect innocence through losing my innocence.
The Priestess burst into a thousand stars against my tongue sending me reeling into time. "Christ", I thought, "I am nowhere." And Christ answered with a kiss. The Lord is my Shepherd, he shall make me want...together we lay down in green pastures. Sheep came. Again and again he martyred himself inside me. His dick turned to bread, and I understood. The wine...the bread...and no one but Bob had the cheese. Thus came the ritual of The Opening of the Mouth.
Tefnut, goddess of Dew and Gentle Rain! From two to the mouths of two thousand, she spreads the seed of Christ. For the Ruler of the White Crown, known as Baba has entered here.
Then it rains inside my stomach. The ships come, they come. And take away with them the sins of the many. Set wraps himself around me, I am the snake inside the apple. He temps me with the fruit of Eve. "Taste her," he begs, "She will make you complete." I part Eve's lips, and her lips part and she bites into me, the apple. The snake of Set is released, the powerful phallus of Osiris returned. And for this aeon, Set will rule the cosmos, and Osiris will be mortal.
I coalesce on the wooden floor and crawl into bed thinking: "Why the FUCK do I meditate?"
Pope
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 06 Jul 1998 02:34:48 -0400
From: Michelle Levin <rmlevin228@earthlink.net> Subject: Re: [SubG] Reflections
Pope Zypgx I wrote:
>It was when I was just a young girl, maybe eighteen or nineteen, not that I am much older than that now, that I sat in the lotus position in my apartment on the wooden floor. The television crackled with one of those white-static stations, the kind that make your head burn like a candle when you are meditating. The lights were off, which made my huge New Orleans victorian-turn-crackhouse dwelling resemble a dank cave. My naked body shivered there on the floor as I chanted the hundred names of the mother Sekhmet. Rain assaulted the thick panes of my french windows, causing the oddly shaped droplets to reflect the interior candlelight in stange ways.
>Suddenly, I felt as if my whole body had shattered into atomic bits. No longer in my apartment, I walked a shining pathway to a burning flame. Shards of glass pierced my feet, towards the ever-burning desert. How lovely is a camel? GIMMEL of BABYLON. The priestess, she waited at the end, the veil drawn and her knees parted. Waiting. She was a redhead. Wine. I drank from her, becoming the Holy Whore myself. I gained perfect innocence through losing my innocence.
>The Priestess burst into a thousand stars against my tongue sending me reeling into time. "Christ", I thought, "I am nowhere." And Christ answered with a kiss. The Lord is my Shepherd, he shall make me want...together we lay down in green pastures. Sheep came. Again and again he martyred himself inside me. His dick turned to bread, and I understood. The wine...the bread...and no one but Bob had the cheese. Thus came the ritual of The Opening of the Mouth.
>Tefnut, goddess of Dew and Gentle Rain! From two to the mouths of two thousand, she spreads the seed of Christ. For the Ruler of the White Crown, known as Baba has entered here.
>Then it rains inside my stomach. The ships come, they come. And take away with them the sins of the many. Set wraps himself around me, I am the snake inside the apple. He temps me with the fruit of Eve. "Taste her," he begs, "She will make you complete." I part Eve's lips, and her lips part and she bites into me, the apple. The snake of Set is released, the powerful phallus of Osiris returned. And for this aeon, Set will rule the cosmos, and Osiris will be mortal.
>I coalesce on the wooden floor and crawl into bed thinking: "Why the FUCK do I meditate?"
>Pope
You make me want to lick molluscs.
- -kleef
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 06 Jul 1998 02:39:34 -0400
From: Michelle Levin <rmlevin228@earthlink.net> Subject: [SubG] x-day
My yeti heart beat joyously as the giant molluscs emerged from the pungent sewers and subburban flowerbeds, engulfing the impecibly manicured and the terminally dull in their gaping vulvic maws as the left efluvic trails of bloodyed slime and pannic in their wake. For me that was deffinitely the best part. That and the sex.
- -kleef
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 06 Jul 1998 01:44:53 -0500
From: Dave Voorhis <dave@armchair.mb.ca> Subject: Re: [SubG] Reflections
At 02:34 AM 7/6/98 -0400, they wrote:
[nusk]
>>Pope
>You make me want to lick molluscs.
>-kleef
Look you two: Get together. Mate. Tell us about it. Give me a piece of the afterbirth. It would be a beautiful love story.
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End of Subgenius Digest V6 #1269
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Original file name: Subgenius Digest 7/6/98
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