I, who publicly denounced "The Church" at a dark carnival clench, who identified "BoB"'s assassin at a sleazy video store run by a bogus "Professor Curtis" in berkeley, who shamelessly promoted Bobbhism in the guise of Buddhism at every opportunity (I am a "Bobbhisattva" of high rank and odeur)...
(I, who never paid my hush money to the "church" so i would be overlooked when the Intergalactic Harvesters, Inc. moved in to collect the pods full of tasty "long pig"...)
I, who actually in a strange, twisted, retro-pomo-crypto-porno-ironico-sort of fashion seemed to actually BELIEVE...that there was a truth "right abOUT...THERE...ahh" in the teachings of the Church of the Subgenius... I, who has a newspaper photo of that wacky cartoonist who is always getting in trouble with the Franchise Tax Board (see, I can't even recall his name), taped to my computer terminal at work... I, managed to FREAK out some pinks at the old AOL chat site (and get an inspired rant from Nenmaster Ramen (RIP)) by coming up with, god forbid, something ORIGINAL and not just "bob is great, worship bob, bla bla bla bla..."
I, who
OH SHUT UP ALREADY, JUST ADMIT YOU ****FORGOT**** ABOUT XDAY UNTIL ABOUT 8PM SUNDAY, (JUST WHEN SIMPSONS WAS AIRING, AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN WATCH IT) AND YOU WEREN'T EVEN SURE IT ***WAS*** XDAY, AND YOU WAITED UNTIL ***MONDAY*** TO RESEARCH IT ONLINE BECAUSE YOU HAD PACKED UP ***ALL*** YOUR SUBGENIUS TEXTS RATHER THAN THROW OUT YOUR YEAR OLD ISSUES OF "MACWORLD" "ID" AND "PRINT"... and now im probably just a flesh robot, or whatever. i failed you. (of course, what WAS i supposed to do, on XDAY, anyway?) oh well
gee, id really like to send that money, but im sort of low right now, maybe next year...?
hey, do you have any free stuff you can send me, now that you're probably closing up shop for good?
weren't you kicked out of the Universal Life Church a while back, or was that Ivan Boesky (oh, wait, he was kicked out of the NYSE i think, sorry) sincerely,
michael elias rosenbaum
ps nice web site
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