By IrRev. FRIDAY JONES
<friday@subgenius.com>
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
BOSTON "FINAL" STOP FOR SUBGENIUS ARMAGEDDON TOUR
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS - March 10, 1998
Officials from the Church of the SubGenius have announced plans to stage a "Devival" in Cambridge, Massachusetts on April 23rd of this year, beginning at or around 9 PM in a nightclub known as The Middle East. The entire area is bracing itself for the expected flood of SubGeniuses from all over the East Coast, as they follow in the wake of the nationwide Armageddon Tour to celebrate 'Slack', the love of the Church's leader J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, and the impending end of the world. The Church, one of the oldest and most infamous of modern-day Milleniumist cults, believes that the world will end July 5th, 1998, and that the faithful will be saved by flying saucers from the destruction on 'X-Day.'
"This will be the last chance for Boston to get saved," says the IrReverend Friday Jones, who is helping to organize the event, entitled 'The X-Day Files - Final, Final Boston SubGenius Devival & Armageddon Party.' "This city is full of young people seeking spiritual guidance. And "Bob" is here to sell it to them, before it's too late." The Church has not had a major event in New England for over two years.
SubGenius mass rituals are commonly held in secret locales around the world; this Cambridge Devival is to be a rare "public" event. Only those 18 and over will be admitted - for their own safety as well as the safety of others. Even at Devivals that are open to non-SubGeniuses, participants often become frenzied, shocked, and touched by the Words of "BOB", as they engage in acts including healings, sickenings, sacrifices, public confessionals, Short Duration Mass Marriages, Time Control ceremonies, record & ID card burnings, and Speaking in Tongues. But the participants in the Final Boston Devival are used to this, as they include some of the Church's most popular preachers and "anti-musicians": the Church's Sacred Scribe Reverend Ivan Stang, King Of Slack Bill T. Miller, Father K'taden Legume, Brother Cleve Duncan, Pope David Meyer, and Reverend D.K. Jones as well as an array of local subversives and SubGenii. The Devival will also be the live performance debut of SLACKBANGERS, a SubGenius band formed by some of the Church's greatest anti-musicians. "You never know who - or what - will show up at one of these events," joked Friday, a noted SubGenius writer and artist in her own right. At this Devival though, she will shun the spotlight and concentrate on running the Sacred Sales Table. Tickets for the gathering are rumored to be about 10 dollars, and will be available at the door just prior to the show.
Interest in the secretive SubGenius community has exploded, especially among young people, due to the Church's elaborate multimedia web site at www.subgenius.com, the underground copy & trading of covert videotapes of Church events, and a recent line of cards introduced by Steve Jackson Games for nationwide distribution. Similar to the phenomenally popular "Magic:The Gathering", the 100-card set "Illuminati New World Order:SubGenius" is seemingly just a game, but these cards are named for such obscure SubGenius rituals and personalities as "Rain Of Prairie Squid", "Dokstok", "Overman" and "Janor." Allegations that this card set has been designed with "trigger" images that will lure impressionable children into the Church have been not so much denied as ignored.
The IrReverend Friday Jones has withstood fierce criticism from several quarters not only for inviting the Armageddon Tour to Boston, but for bringing together two of the Church's most ideologically opposed members - Reverend Stang of the Ivangelical branch of the Church; and Father Legume of the Holocaustals. "Stang and Legume are united by two things - their bitter hatred of each another's most cherished beliefs, and their love of "Bob"", says Friday. "And I have faith their love of "Bob" will win out." She is also quick to point out that Holocaustals and Ivangelicals have mingled at many Church events both public and private and have done so without violence beyond the occasional "spiking."
Of course, the final outcome of the conflicts within the SubGenius movement will probably never be witnessed by the public. The Church has reserved a massive private tract of land in the Great Lakes area of New York for their final rituals in the first week of July, which are expected to include grand symbolic battles between the various branches of the Church, nonstop "Anti-Music" performances, Flying Saucer Summoning, Head Launching, Blood Wrestling, and other acts shrouded in secrecy. A limited number of non-SubGeniuses are permitted to purchase attendance every year. The Church has been holding their 'X-Day Drills' for decades, but naturally expects 1998 to be the greatest one yet - after all, it will be the last.
Additional information about the upcoming event(s) may be obtained by
watching these World Wide Web pages:
http://www.tiac.net/users/fjones/xdayfiles.html
http://www.subgenius.com/newdevivals
Or calling the 24 Church Devival Hotline at (216)556-0338
Any press wishing to set up an interview with Rev. Stang should contact the SubGenius Foundation by using the below number
Church of the SubGenius
PO Box 140306
Dallas TX 75214
+1 214 324 0993
(fax) +1 214 320 1561
slack@subgenius.com
http://www.subgenius.com/
The IrReverend Friday Jones
456 Moody Street Suite #134
Waltham, MA 02154
friday@subgenius.com
http://www.tiac.net/users/fjones
