That's it, I'm out of here. (Papa Joe Resigns)

From: monsterwax@aol.com (Monsterwax)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, May 8, 1999 2:26 PM

Could this sudden "Let's all turn on Papa Joe" movement have ANYTHING to do
with me sticking up for Janor recently? (Boston Devival Debacle MY ASS! It was
all a set up.) You can believe Legume and Lillith if you want: Papa Joe is the
one who called the fuzz on us and THAT'S why he's dangerous. It's two against
one, so why even BOTHER asking me if it's true or not. But here's a word to the
wise: Never mention The Church's persona non grata.

I haven't seen a group feed on it's own hierarchy like this since Stalin.
Remember that photograph with "Uncle Joe" and his compatriots from the early
days? You know, that famous photo that the Communist party would routinely air
brush out whoever was the latest purge victim? It starts out with five people,
then four, then three... Finally, there is no one left in the picture except
Stalin himself.

Here, we have Stang and his anointed apostles. Suddenly, Sister Square
disappears, then Janor, then Papa Joe... How long before EVERYONE is missing
except Stang? Even "Bob's" smiling face on Stang's T-shirt isn't safe! Soon, it
will be STANG smoking the pipe! The 13th Mystery Apostle will turn out to be
Stang, as well the 12th, 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th...

And just what happens to those "cast out" by The Church? Do you think they're
allowed to gather their things and quietly leave? Not by a long shot. They know
too much. It's too dangerous to cut them loose. They might talk, or worse yet,
team up with The Con. Our loving Church can't afford to let such secrets fall
into the wrong hands. Just think about it: The off-shore bank accounts, the
ammo dump locations, the computer passwords... The negative publicity, the
legal consequences, not to mention civil law suits. No way, Jose. Once your "in
the inner-circle", there's no going back. They have a special place set aside
for you, my friends. Much like "The Village" in that old TV show The Prisoner.
Only Dobbstown is REAL, and more like a roach motel. Ex-Church chosen go in,
but they don't come out.

Why would I dare talk about this sort of thing openly, you ask? Well, it
doesn't seem to matter anymore does it? I'm already a marked man for whatever
reason. Maybe I didn't stroke Stang's ego enough while we were in Boston, or
maybe I made some crack that could be interpreted the wrong way. It takes very
little these days. Whatever it was, I'm guilty before I even know the charges.

But I might as well mention this little detail while I'm at it. I have various
safety deposit boxes that I've instructed should be opened if anything happens
to me, including "sudden disappearance". The contents of those boxes will be
made very public and copies of certain documents will find their way into the
hands of the authorities. (And then of course, there's the small matter of the
tapes.)

Now I'm not trying to make a threat of anything, but if I go down, I'm dragging
the entire Church with me. And that INCLUDES "Mr. Untouchable" himself, the
mighty self proclaimed official spokesperson of "Bob", Ivan (fucking holier
than thou) STANG. Yeah, YOU shithead! Remember that night we got drunk and you
bragged about where all the bodies were buried? I'm afraid I accidentally
forgot to turn off my voice activated tape recorder. Of course it was
unintentional. I meant to burn those tapes -honest- but I was in a hurry to
pack for the Boston show so I tossed them into the safety deposit box where
they would be safe until I got around to it. But you know how I
procrastinate...

So you better keep your bags packed and a jar of Vaseline handy, Mr. Ivan
Bigshot. Where you're going, you'll need to get down on your knees plenty- and
I don't mean to pray to "Bob".

And to the rest of you: Make up your own minds if you want to go down with the
ship or not. If I didn't have so much leftover swag to sell, I'd have BOLTED
this Church long before the Night of the Long Knives... As to Legume and
Lillith, know ye this: Today you come for me, but tomorrow, THEY come for YOU!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: That's it, I'm out of here.
From: "König PrüBe, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, May 8, 1999 2:54 PM
Message-ID: <37349687.61D7DB8C@erols.com>

Monsterwax wrote:

>
>
> And to the rest of you: Make up your own minds if you want to go down with the
> ship or not. If I didn't have so much leftover swag to sell, I'd have BOLTED
> this Church long before the Night of the Long Knives... As to Legume and
> Lillith, know ye this: Today you come for me, but tomorrow, THEY come for YOU!

Yeah, this outfit runs on victims.

And so many schisms! I decided to send myself $30.

--
To get random text files, put text files into a folder called
"Random Texts" in your Random Text text file folder text.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: That's it, I'm out of here.
From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, May 10, 1999 2:14 AM
Message-ID: <100519990014153373%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <19990508152606.07985.00000792@ng-cl1.aol.com>, Monsterwax
<monsterwax@aol.com> wrote:

> Here, we have Stang and his anointed apostles. Suddenly, Sister Square
> disappears, then Janor, then Papa Joe...

Yes, we've made sure all three got proper medical treatment. Mary
Squared was a bit resistant to treatment, but Janor's making a very
nice recovery--in large part due to Father Joe Mama's selflessness.
However, as I feared, it looks like Papa Joe psychosomatically became
"janored" in the process. To make matters worse, Papa Joe shows signs
of some sort of dysphoria sublimated through his persona, but also
apparent via analysis of his anxieties. By encouraging him to express
the true nature of his dysphoria, he may come to a new understanding of
his fears and thus eventually overcome them.

If that fails, I have some lithium watch batteries laying around.

The Prophet Lilith

--
Popess Lilith von Fraumench * http://come.to/p.lil
SEATTLE BEWARE--The Final SubGenius RE-Devival is COMING
May 28--On The Boards--Visit http://ssucc.ragnarokr.com for details
==== "What is Zen? Duh!" --me === "What is Tao? D'oh!" --Jesus ====
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I Resign
From: legume@subgenius.com (Legume)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, May 12, 1999 8:12 AM
Message-ID: <7hbun7$3o4$1@usenet41.supernews.com>

In article <110519990139190120%stang@subgenius.com>, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

>Enjoy it while you can, Legume! Pray that the day never comes when
>"Yes, dear" NO LONGER WORKS!
>
>
>Remember how "The Unforgiven" ENDED??

Yeah. I do.

"If I hear about anyone here cuttin' up, or otherwise mistreatin' any of these
whores, I'll come back here and kill every goddamn last one of you."

Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

Mecagum les cinc llagues de Crist,
mecagum D'eu, en la creu, en el fuster
que la fue i en fill de puta que va plantar el pi
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I Resign
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Tue, May 11, 1999 12:44 PM
Message-ID: <37386C7D.7F209A7E@succeeds.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> In article <7h4ckc$n4c$1@usenet43.supernews.com>, Legume
> <legume@subgenius.com> wrote:
>
> > It has to do with HATE.
> >
> > I don't HAVE any.
> >
> >
> > "I'm not that way anymore. My Susi, she cured me of such wickedness."
> >
> > Ivan, my friend, is there room at the table for one more Ivangelical? My bum
> > knee makes it hard for me to run, but I can still EAT PUSSY.
> >
>
> Enjoy it while you can, Legume! Pray that the day never comes when
> "Yes, dear" NO LONGER WORKS!
>
> Remember how "The Unforgiven" ENDED??
>

Uh, with Clint Eastwood selling dry goods in San Francisco?
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I Resign
From: ebear@MI$direct.ca (bipolar bear)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, May 11, 1999 4:43 PM
Message-ID: <ebear-ya02408000R1105991343230001@news.direct.ca>

In article <373751a7.300669@newsfeed.sexzilla.net>, temujin9@io.com
(Reverend Imposter Eliot) wrote:

> 1) Me, not him. I keep getting the feeling that a large majority of
> this Church are people who are in it because it makes a good joke,
> and because the personalities are more rarified here. Rev. Random,
> Pee Kitty, and ebear[2] are about the only others I know who take
> it seriously sometimes[2]. But then I could be wrong[3].

Clearing your mind of the CONspiracy is a bit like clearing a mine field.
You're never *really* sure you've found all the mines.

The Church of the Subgenius is a mind control cult. The difference is,
it's your own mind you're attempting to control.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I Resign
From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, May 11, 1999 4:07 PM
Message-ID: <110519991407242581%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <7h6u7i$sj4$1@usenet41.supernews.com>, Legume
<legume@subgenius.com> wrote:

> Funny, that was the EXACT same scenario that occurred the first time I met
> Stang. Our comic-book personae always seem larger and more fearsome from a
> distance, but once you meet us, we're just regular folks trying to have some
> fun.
>
> Except for P-lil and Edward Strange. There's NOTHING regular about Plil, and
> Strange really IS a brutal thug...

Oddly enough, it's the simple, honest ways that I live my life that
keeps me from EVER being regular folks. I can't help it if my neighbors
disagree, any more than I can help it if I must psychically destroy
them for it.

The Prophet Lilith

Subject: Re: I Resign
From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, May 11, 1999 4:13 PM
Message-ID: <110519991413143633%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <373c8eec.15987860@newsfeed.sexzilla.net>, Reverend Imposter
Eliot <temujin9@io.com> wrote:

> No, I got that point. My point is that most people are just in it for
> the joke, and not the seriousness. Which is fine by me; anybody who
> can appreciate the joke is probably good folks anyway. It just makes
> discussing things with them harder, because they're joking and
> sometimes I'm not.

After Von Daniken, pop science, football, and the Assemblies Of God, it
became very clear to me that the Church Of The SubGenius is one of the
few damned things on this planet that really *does* make sense. The
humor just makes it a bit easier to swallow.

The Prophet Lilith

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