I couldn't resist. It felt so good, the material so soft and luxurious, and
was a perfect fit.
Maybe the low price was just backlash from the negative publicity, but there
was NO WAY I was going to pass up a Christian Dior double-breasted black
trenchcoat for TEN BUCKS.
I think I'll give my old one away as a contest prize on XX-Day. The lining
still smells like Hoppe's gun oil. I'm a pretty big guy, so Joe Average
SubGenius ought to be able to hide a goddamned ARSENAL under the fucker.
Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume
Mecagum les cinc llagues de Crist,
mecagum D'eu, en la creu, en el fuster
que la fue i en fill de puta que va plantar el pi
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: New trenchcoat
From: Rev Carl X el-Hajj <carlg@pop.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, May 6, 1999 7:01 AM
Monsterwax wrote:
>
> Since this newsgroups is being monitored by PC police, we should hasten to
> point out that the "arsenal" discussed earlier is PURELY FOR DEFENSIVE
> PURPOSES. Pinks would really have to THREATEN our very way of life (or slack)
> to provoke an attack. And they would never do that, because they are "good".
>
The aforementioned arsenal and tenchcoat are provided for purely
EDUTAINMENT purposes. By reading these posts, you (hereinafter referred
to as "you") agree not to hold alt.slack, its affiliates, heirs and
assigns, including but not limited to anyone who's ever heard of usenet
and by extension the internet, NOT CRIMINALLY LIABLE for any actions
taken by anyone whatsoever, ipso facto, ipse dixit, and homo sapiens non
urina in ventum.
I think we're legally covered now.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: New trenchcoat
From: legume@subgenius.com (Legume)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, May 6, 1999 8:40 AM
In article <3731610f.1462364662@news.concentric.net>, davidvoth@catholic.org wrote:
>Jeff James determined that you can hide 4 LAW rockets, a bunch of
>Claymore mines, and an M-60 machine gun under one of those suckers.
A REALLY skinny guy might. As a former "60 gunner", I can attest that a 60
would indeed fit under this trenchcoat, but the AMMO would be pretty damned
bulky.
FOUR LAW rockets AND a 60? No way. Claymores? Why? For the kind of combat your
average trenchcoat wearer would engage in, Hand Grenades are the way to go.
You could put a dozen of them in a good-sized fanny pack, and you don't have
to bother with wires and detonators and blasting caps.
Since we're talking urban combat here, I'd suggest a shotgun/grenade combo,
with a handgun or two (preferably identical handguns, not for fashion reasons,
but because it's more expedient to reload if you only have one type of clip).
You could fill your pockets with preloaded clips, and carry your shotgun
shells in dual bandoliers.
I personally wear a trenchcoat for two other reasons; to keep the rain off,
and hide my expanding gut.
Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume
Mecagum les cinc llagues de Crist,
mecagum D'eu, en la creu, en el fuster
que la fue i en fill de puta que va plantar el pi
Original file name: New trenchcoat
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