Subject: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!

From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (Rev. Prostata Cantata)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Apr 3, 2000 3:30 PM
Message-ID: <8carh8$6ma$1@news.concourse.com>

I'm back in the control chair at Prostata Bulldada Research Lab
bar and grill, and HOLY SHIT I STILL CAN'T even BELIEVE what happened last
week!!! If I didn't have pictures I would think the whole thing was just
some kind of sick dream!

The Subgenii descended on the town of Amsterdam like a plague of
hungry, crazed BONOBO-LOCUSTS and that fair old burg will never be the
same again. The townspeople havn't seen such a rampant ORGY of EXCESS
since the 80 years war against the Spanish. Coffee shops were SMOKED BARE
of their best frop! Taverns that have been in operation for 100's of years
were dried up! Hundreds of young and very friendly Dutch girls and boys
will be walking funny for YEARS! Canals were drained just to provide
water to CLEAN UP THE MESS!

Pictures will be posted to ABS just as soon as my scanner can scan 'em.

PRAISE MARY M. for her prophetic dream that sent us hither!

PRAISE JESUS for convincing the hotel we were American Rock Stars!

PRAISE POPE BLACK for leading our local shock-troops who prepared the city!

PRAISE STERNO for LOTS of expert and inside information!

PRAISE THE EURO-SUBS - kick-ass insane UBER-YETI every damned one!

PRAISE THE BAD CUYP and all who dwell within it's fair walls!

PRAISE STANG, PRINCESS WEI, CRAFORD, THE MIGHTY DUKE OF UKE, STERNO
(AGAIN!), POPE BLACK (AGAIN!), PRINCE IGOR AND THE WICKED WITCH, DJ
PROTOGOTH, AND THAT GUY WHO'S NAME I CAN'T REMEMBER and everyone else who
testified, ranted, and helped convert the millions of new followers who
attended the devival and listed to the radio show!!!

PRAISE THE GROWERS OF THE STRONG AND MOST PUNGENT FROP!

PRAISE EVERY ATOM OF EVERY CELL OF EVERY SUBGENIUS who found the ways and
means to visit the HOLYLAND!

Those of you who decided NOT TO GO for whatever twisted reason
should rip your leg off at the knee and use it to KICK YOURSELF really
hard in the ass over and over again untill you BLEED!

I have spoken.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Apr 4, 2000 1:15 PM
Message-ID: <040420001015316162%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <8carh8$6ma$1@news.concourse.com>, Rev. Prostata Cantata
<prostata@bronze.coil.com> wrote:

> Those of you who decided NOT TO GO for whatever twisted reason
> should rip your leg off at the knee and use it to KICK YOURSELF really
> hard in the ass over and over again untill you BLEED!

Sorry, I'm all out of asses and legs this week.

Can I borrow yours?

The Prophet Lilith

--
Her Ladyship Rev. Dkr. St. Popess Lilith von Fraumench, Esquire, Inc.
== Prophet--Stage Manager Of The EndTimes--Corrective Phrenologist ==
=!APOCALEPSY NOW! SEATTLE DEVIVAL APRIL 13 BALLARD FIREHOUSE SEATTLE=
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: ePRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: nenslo@tonyaharding.org
Date: Tue, Apr 4, 2000 3:19 PM
Message-ID: <38EA4038.7D51@subgenius.com>

Popess Lilith von Fraumench wrote:
>
> In article <8carh8$6ma$1@news.concourse.com>, Rev. Prostata Cantata
> <prostata@bronze.coil.com> wrote:
>
> > Those of you who decided NOT TO GO for whatever twisted reason
> > should rip your leg off at the knee and use it to KICK YOURSELF really
> > hard in the ass over and over again untill you BLEED!
>
> Sorry, I'm all out of asses and legs this week.
>
> Can I borrow yours?
>
> The Prophet Lilith
>

Don't worry, when we have to hear the SAME STORIES OVER AND OVER AGAIN
next week I believe we'll both grow enough asses and legs to keep a
whole army kicking. It isn't missing these things that I mind - I LIKE
THAT PART - it's having some bore TELLING me that I should be SORRY I
missed it that is so damn tedious. And then having them explain that
their tedious repetitions of drugparty stories is my PUNISHMENT for not
going. (Or is it just Stang who pretends that being boring is some sort
of JUSTICE? I'm gonna rip that old blabbermouth up one side and down
the other if he doesn't watch his step this time. He just better not
cross me that's all.) I fucking been to fucking amsterdam and I fucking
been trapped in a room with Sterno so big fucking deal about how WASTED
they all got and what FUNNY THING somebody said at some fucking party
once. World's Oldest Fratboys.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Apr 4, 2000 9:10 PM
Message-ID: <040420002110073109%stang@subgenius.com>

Uh-oh, we done went and Xed a tractor up Dean Nenslo's ass, we're in
trouble now. Golly, do you think we went and scared off the investors?
Right when Dean Nenslo's plan to save the Church was JUST about to PAY
OFF?? AGAIN?? We musta been raised in the same pen as Hogan's Goat.

What is there left for us to do now but APOLOGIZE?

God DAMN it, Nenslo, I'm sorry. I honestly mean that. I'm just sorry as
hell. I'm one sorry sack of shit, I am. I feel so bad for what I did. I
promise I'll never do it again.

--
Copyright 2000 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 2nd Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected: PO Box 19355 Cleveland OH 44119
The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.: PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack / PRABOB
Fax: 216-738-0150
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: nickie@subgenius.com
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Apr 5, 2000 7:44 AM
Message-ID: <8cf8u6$i5f$1@nnrp1.deja.com>

In article <38EA4038.7D51@subgenius.com>,
nenslo@tonyaharding.org wrote:

> World's Oldest Fratboys.

What does that make me? World's youngest Death-Oldest Fratboy-Chick?

Somebody get the PCP and the motorcycles and head to Rotterdam, please.

-Nickie Something

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: sternodox@aristotle.net (Sterno)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Apr 5, 2000 9:38 AM
Message-ID: <sternodox-0504000838400001@pm11ppp86.aristotle.net>

In article <050420000019598354%lilith@ZubJenius.com>, Popess Lilith von
Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote:

> That part *is* rather annoying, but that doesn't bug me. What annoys
> the fuck out of me, on the other hand, is the idea that some folks
> don't seem to understand that I have my own agenda, and that a drugged
> tour of Amsterdam was not part of that agenda in the slightest.

You poor, sad UNKNOWING! Every person who DIDN'T go seems to
sour-grapingly continue to harp on and on about the "drugged tour of
Amsterdam" aspect of our Field Trip. Well, there WAS that . . . but you
DON'T KNOW about the Beck kidnapping, the prince decapitation, the Harley
race to Rotterdam, the Australian girls, THE OTHER HALF, and about
TWENTY-ZILLION et ceteras. Admit it . . . YOU FUCKED UP BY NOT GOING!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Sternodox

--
M'muh!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: "Rev. Knezek" <achoo!@yahoo.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Apr 5, 2000 11:57 PM
Message-ID: <38EC0B2F.56823618@yahoo.com>

First they tell us how much fun it was, and how stoned, etc., they all
got...

Then, if we have the *nerve* to say we really aren't that bothered by it,
they say we've got sour grapes.

Maybe some of us really *DID* have stuff we'd rather be doing at that
particular point in time...

And maybe some of use really *DON'T* care to spend our time traipsing around
Europe in a drug-induced haze. If I'm gonna blow the cash to visit other
continents, I'm gonna be sober enough to appreciate it.
--
-Rev. Knezek

"We must dance like crazed weasels atop the furniture of life!"
-some guy from "Alaska Men" magazine
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: "whyaskwhyaskwhy" <blackout@HORMELinfomagic.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 12:09 AM
Message-ID: <seo3ihlarfg107@corp.supernews.com>

This does not sound like the table dancing weasels to me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: kevbob@ecsis.net (kevbob)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 12:23 AM
Message-ID: <seo4aju2rfg51@corp.supernews.com>

blackout@HORMELinfomagic.com (whyaskwhyaskwhy) posted to alt.slack on
Thu, 06 Apr 2000 04:09:29 GMT with
<seo3ihlarfg107@corp.supernews.com>

>This does not sound like the table dancing weasels to me.

my bad, the weasels got a hold of a bad can of beef.

they seem to be puking on a book of emily dickinson.

sorry.

--
"oo ee oo ah ah twingtwang wallawalla bingbang,
oo ee oo ah ah twingtwang wallawalla bingbang oh yah!
oo ee oo ah ah B I N G O, oo ee oo ah ah E I E I O" Clutch
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: kevbob@ecsis.net (kevbob)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 12:22 AM
Message-ID: <seo47bghrfg95@corp.supernews.com>

achoo!@yahoo.com (Rev. Knezek) posted to alt.slack on Thu, 06 Apr
2000 03:57:36 GMT with <38EC0B2F.56823618@yahoo.com>

>And maybe some of use really *DON'T* care to spend our time
>traipsing around Europe in a drug-induced haze. If I'm gonna blow
>the cash to visit other continents, I'm gonna be sober enough to
>appreciate it. --

figure being surrounded by all those beady eyed furriners running circles
around you and trying to steal yer wallet and screaming their
jibberish filthy non-english speak'd be an awful lot like being drunk
anyways.

in fact, i bet all these posts about how great amsterdam was isn't really
from who it looks like it is from but in fact is from those beady eyed
furriners using babelfish to trasnslate and are just trying to get us
to come visit their filthy disease ridden lands merely so that they can steal
our wallets.

those basthids.

how dare they.

well, you lissen up you beady eyed filthy disease ridden furriners we aren't
going to fall for your load of anti-american constitutional crap and go visit
yer louse infested whoring furriner land and get our wallets stolen and then
have to get on solsticistic gov't health care system to cure the stds we get
from yer two dollah (25 cents with the currency translation) whores and
then have those evil nazi doctors inject us with dirty syringes full of evil
mad bovine growth formula and turn us into beady eyed stuttering
furriners stealing god loving americans wallets.

dammit, i have to remember to breath, now i have no idea what the fuck
i was trying to say.

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: König PrüB, GmbH <saurkraut@weinerschnitzel.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 12:42 AM
Message-ID: <seo5cu51rfg11@corp.supernews.com>

"Rev. Knezek" escrivened:

>
>And maybe some of use really *DON'T* care to spend our time traipsing around
>Europe in a drug-induced haze. If I'm gonna blow the cash to visit other
>continents, I'm gonna be sober enough to appreciate it.
>--
>-Rev. Knezek
>
>"We must dance like crazed weasels atop the furniture of life!"
> -some guy from "Alaska Men" magazine
>
>

World dope tours are OK, and sex tours, and/or combinations,
brewery tours, wine tours, Manila, Bangkok, La Zona Rosa Mundial

Anyway, there's always the local best stuff, too. One Alaskan turned
me on to "Alaska Thunderfuck" some pretty good stuff that is a result
of the long days in the Northern latitudes. Or chewing coca leaves in
Bolivia, smoking O in Burma, Mexican Mud in Sinaloa, drinking Old
Milwacky with Sam's Plumbing Supply Bowling Team, but you do kinda
got to admit that Amsterdam's prolly a good place for Spring Break.
One of my perfessers told me that when he was a kid, everybody went
to Havana, and you could get anything there. The party kind of changes
venues from time to time, it's a moveable feast.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 5:03 AM
Message-ID: <060420000203317400%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

[[ This message was both posted and mailed: see
the "To," "Cc," and "Newsgroups" headers for details. ]]

In article <sternodox-0504000838400001@pm11ppp86.aristotle.net>, Sterno
<sternodox@aristotle.net> wrote:>
> You poor, sad UNKNOWING! Every person who DIDN'T go seems to
> sour-grapingly continue to harp on and on about the "drugged tour of
> Amsterdam" aspect of our Field Trip. Well, there WAS that . . . but you
> DON'T KNOW about the Beck kidnapping, the prince decapitation, the Harley
> race to Rotterdam, the Australian girls, THE OTHER HALF, and about
> TWENTY-ZILLION et ceteras. Admit it . . . YOU FUCKED UP BY NOT GOING!!!!!
> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No.

The sour grapes are because I'm fucking sick of being harrassed. Sure,
you went to Amsterdam--but I'm putting on the best damned devival of my
life, and I was not about to fuck that up. Sorry if you still don't get
it.

The Prophet Lilith

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: Unit 4 <UnitIV@SPUTUM.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: unit4@sputum.com
Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 5:26 AM
Message-ID: <rlloes4f5s9govmlrju4vul24cn3po1uhd@4ax.com>

On Wed, 05 Apr 2000 19:57:36 -0800, "Rev. Knezek" <achoo!@yahoo.com>
wrote, in alt.slack:}
}And maybe some of use really *DON'T* care to spend our time traipsing around
}Europe in a drug-induced haze. If I'm gonna blow the cash to visit other
}continents, I'm gonna be sober enough to appreciate it.

I intend to appreciate other people blowing THEIR cash to get me to go.
I got an NSF scholarship grant for a month last summer hanging around with
the chaos folks at Santa Fe, and I'm trying for NIH and NIDA grants right
now that'll pay me twice at the same time for doing what I'm already
doing, and pay my way to Graz, Austria among others.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 10:30 AM
Message-ID: <060420000730355232%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

SUBSCRIBE
WITH SCIENCE

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 2:26 PM
Message-ID: <060420001426147181%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <38EC0B2F.56823618@yahoo.com>, Rev. Knezek
<achoo!@yahoo.com> wrote:

GOOD! We'll need a driver, and Onan and Friday will be too busy to
drive, seeing and thinking clearly for the rest of us haze heads while
we loll senselessly, puking and mewling obscenely.

Next time, I'm going to make sure I take enough LSD to appreciate the
foreign continent.

I completely FORSOOK the LSD this time... like a FUCKING DUMBASS!

> "We must dance like crazed weasels atop the furniture of life!"
> -some guy from "Alaska Men" magazine

What do you mean, "LIKE" crazed weasels?

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 2:52 PM
Message-ID: <060420001452573575%stang@subgenius.com>

Are you guys not reading the posts? The people who went on the
Amsterdam trip have hardly said ANYTHING about the DRUGS, or STUPID
HEDONISM, although there WAS plenty of such that they COULD brag about;
they've been talking instead of the REAL THINGS and PERSONAL
INTERACTIONS, the touching EDUCATIONAL EXPERIENCES and INSPIRING
DISPLAYED WORKS OF GENIUSES, the INTRIGUING SOCIAL STRUCTURE and
INSIGHTS INTO THE CHURCH's "DEAL"... and you Anti-SperDamians DON'T
EVEN APPEAR TO SEE ANY OF THAT. Oh no, you're more concerned that we
understand how many much more serious, sober, IMPORTANT things you had
to do, fending off the Morlocks with your parrafin candles, while we
irresponsible, boring flibbertygibbet Eloi let the Future fry.

Not much we can do, if you WILL NOT SEE!

I suspect that the ones who are HARPING the loudest would also have
been the loudest BRAGGARTS, had they possessed the WISDOM, PLUCK and
SPARE CHANGE to join us on this historic voyage.

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: kevbob@ecsis.net (kevbob)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 6:51 PM
Message-ID: <seq58fjmrfg63@corp.supernews.com>

stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) posted to alt.slack on Thu, 06
Apr 2000 18:52:57 GMT with <060420001452573575%stang@subgenius.com>

>Are you guys not reading the posts?

oops, i thought they were ASCII art interprations of Amsterdamn landmarks.

my bad. (just for you nenslo)

Subject: Re: AmsterDAAAAAMN!!!
From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Apr 7, 2000 2:24 PM
Message-ID: <070420001124359245%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <060420001452573575%stang@subgenius.com>, Rev. Ivan Stang
<stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> Are you guys not reading the posts? The people who went on the
> Amsterdam trip have hardly said ANYTHING about the DRUGS, or STUPID
> HEDONISM, although there WAS plenty of such that they COULD brag about;

Oh, go take your other half and go drool in a corner for a few days,
why don't you?

The Prophet Lilith

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