My X Day Car Troubles

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>
Date: Sat, Jul 8, 2006 9:22 PM

In article <1152371020.545068.181490@s13g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,
Rev. Richard Skull <mshotz@verizon.net> wrote:

> iDRMRSR wrote:
> > Rev. Skull and I had a nice carside chat at X day about his experience with
> > a failed transmission on his way through Corning, NY.
> >
> > By the strangest of coincidences, on my way back to the motel after the
> > conversation, my air blower motor started making a fearsome noise. For a
> > moment there, I thought that perhaps this was some kind of X day plague on
> > vehicles or something.
> >
> > I nursed the thing back to town. I NEED my air conditioner, and the way the
> > thing sounded it was going to quit any second if I turned it above the 2
> > speed, which barely cuts the heat.
> >
> > So today I took it to the shop and they dismantled the dash.
> >
> > They found one of little iDRMRSR's rootbeer candy stix half ground up in the
> > blower. He must have stuck it in the vent some time ago and then, by X day,
> > it worked itself down the air hose into the mechanics just in time. Or,
> > maybe it was ME because before I left, I cleaned out the glove compartment,
> > which was half full of these things, knocking them all over the place.
> >
> > The glove compartment is right above the blower and all that.
> >
> > Mostly, here I am with a smoking gun, and I don't know exactly WHO to rail
> > against.
> >
> > But at least I got my AIR back.
> >
> > [*]
> > -----
>
> I passed by VooDoo Curse onto you! Oh "Bob" help me!
>
> But I blame the Jewish-Freemason Rootbeer Candy Conspiracy!
>

Just so you know, when I had finished packing the We/I-Van with all the
display and projection and swag and camping and torture equipment, and
got into the car to drive to Brushwood, I turned the key and the car
was DEAD.

I had to have AAA come and jump the battery.

Once I got on the road, I didn't dare stop because there was a slight
chance the battery wasn't charging and I'd end up having to jump it
again... BUT I HAD TO PEE!! Luckily I was able to get my hands into a
particular box and extract my CAMP PEE-ING DEVICE, a plastic device for
sick old guys to pee in without getting up. Very handy for camping.
Using this remarkable technological achievement I was able to pee
freely WHILE DRIVING and then cap it up tightly without fear of
spillage or reek.

I have car trouble EVERY X-Day Drill. It's part of the tradition, like
the rainstorms.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@xahoo.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
> I had to have AAA come and jump the battery.

Those fucking drunk-ass bastards will do anything for a drink.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPopeHuey <HellPopeHuey@Boom.net>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

> Once I got on the road, I didn't dare stop because there was a slight
> chance the battery wasn't charging and I'd end up having to jump it
> again... BUT I HAD TO PEE!! Luckily I was able to get my hands into a
> particular box and extract my CAMP PEE-ING DEVICE, a plastic device for
> sick old guys to pee in without getting up. Very handy for camping.
> Using this remarkable technological achievement I was able to pee
> freely WHILE DRIVING and then cap it up tightly without fear of
> spillage or reek.

Oh, now you're just showing off. Big deal. Anybody can aim to pee, but
Nenslo can write his name in the snow with his diarrhea. You should be
his PET.

HellPope Huey
I have more peaks n' valleys than the Himalayas

"Fine words! I wonder where you stole 'em."
[Lat., Libertas et natale solum.]
~ Jonathan Swift

The Grand Old Duke of York
He had ten thousand men.
His case comes up next week.
~Spike Milligan

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@xahoo.com>

>
> > nenslo wrote:
> > > In article <080720062122564612%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>,
> > > "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
> > >
> > >> I had to have AAA come and jump the battery.
> > >
> > > Those fucking drunk-ass bastards will do anything for a drink.
> >
> > Now that's funny, I don't care who you are.
>
> It's so funny, that joke was made by everyone to whom I mentioned
> calling AAA throughout the week.

Yeah well everybody I know called AAA to get their battery jumped.

Back to document index

Original file name: Re- My X Day Car Troubles - converted on Friday, 28 July 2006, 19:26