Writhing in Slack

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

It's the SubGenius New Year. Everything is renewed, refreshed, rebuilt,
reconstructed.

Every X-Day Drill, when the world doesn't end, a new version of
Nu-Monet comes out -- as does a new version of everySubGenius, although
most of them aren't labeled as such, like Nu-Monet is.

Every X-Day, because we move half of our Throne Office to the stage at
Brushwood, we CLEAN the Throne Office for the first time since the
world last failed to end. I'm strangely HEALTHIER after an X-Day Drill,
having involuntarily pumped up from days of swaggarting, packing,
moving, unpacking, socializing, walking all over the campground,
ranting, spazzing, etc. My very soul-gland is exercised and trod upon
until it's leathery and buff, and my memory is cleansed by the finest
'Frop, scoured of impure remembrances and pretty much everything else.
It's like getting one's overgrown brain-yard mowed.

I just finished putting my freshly dust-covered electronics back
together, on freshly dusted tables and desks, after dusting it all, and
why, it's almost like a brand new pristine Escape Office, especially
with the recent donation of a near-MWOWM-level Earth computer by the
Gription Clench.

I feel GREAT! This was certainly the most Slackful Drill ever for me
personally. I never freaked out! I barked at Dr. Drummond once when he
tried to fix the unbroken parts of my temporarily broken sound system,
but I do that almost habitually if I see him messing with my equipment,
ever since THAT ONE TIME, which I will NEVER let him forget.

7X-Day, last year, was NOT pleasant for me. That year, I had resolved
to get the kind of Slack everybody is always telling me I should get,
and I was CONSTANTLY DISAPPOINTED, because, DURING X-DAY, THAT IS NOT
SLACK FOR ME. At X-Days, Slack for me *IS* running around trying to
meet every single person at once while filming anything even remotely
interesting and hunting down blown fuses with Pater Nostril and
listening faux-patiently to insane or young people telling me insane or
young things while I'm wondering just where I put that adapter that I'm
going to need in a few minutes after I find an extension cord for this
video projector. When I just GIVE IN to the Emergentile Force, and let
IT run ME, then I not only get everything done (or close enough for the
girls we go out with) but I also get a massive dose of Slack Awareness.

So, I managed to exploit my Emergentile Slack to the MAX, and then
every night when it was too late to have giant noise, and the stage
show was over, Princess Wei and I did our fair share of hedonistic
partying. Heck, we even DRANK! Yes, on Sunday night we drank a beer
each and a hit of rum or something! On Monday night we drank a cup of
wine and some kind of weird liquer! By Tuesday night, we were slamming
down Lord Ferg's Fighting Cock whiskey right out of the jug and chasing
it with Cokes! Hell, we figured, the world's ending, or something; it's
8X-Day anyway, so WHY NOT LIVE DANGEROUSLY!

I probably drank almost as much at 8X-Day as a human drinks in a... a
DAY!

Every night at about 3 in the morning, we went to the Secret Elite
Second Hot Tub and there we found yet more ways to get in touch with
and amplify our INBORN SLACK.

We never went to bed on X-Day-eve; we kept ourselves awake, USING PURE
SLACK! We were the first ones at the pavillion, around 6:30 a.m., and
we were shaved, shined, shampooed and ready to leave our Earthly shells
looking their best when we vacated them. There was a record crowd of
Those Who Don't Wuss Out at the spirited 7-A.M. countdown, with none of
the corny "Stang, into the pond" crap, because I threatened to kick the
ass of anybody who pulled that trite bullshit.

Now that I think about it, I'm not actually real sure what DID happen
at 7 a.m. But I know I had working batteries in the video camera this
time, so somewhere there must be a record of what "Bob" did to us. If
anything. (BUT WHY CAN I NEVER *REMEMBER* THAT PART?!?!?)

Evidently NASA's attempt to start an intergalactic war between the
Xists and Yacatisma by firing bombs at at a Yist scout ship on July 4th
WORKED, because neither of the great space races appear to be paying
any more attention to "Earth" than normal.

We had so unexpectedly much Slack at the 8X-Day Drill that we stayed at
Brushwood an extra night. We returned Dr. Howll to California yesterday
via the Cleveland airport, and the Frop-Decadences back to Ft. Worth
this afternoon.

There are two CASH BOXES behind me. One came from Rev. Nickie
Deathchick's Swag Shop and one came from Rev. Magdalen's Registration
Desk. I have not opened them.

I must assemble an Hour of Slack BUT FAST! HOOO-hah! We have the usual
godzumptillion digital photos, soundboard recordings of the bands and
jams and the hours of "radio" that Dr. Howl and Philo and I did, and
something like 9 hours of DV video plus another 5 or 6 hours that
Rocknar shot and handed to me.

I will strive to get the Bobbie Award list and the photos posted within
a reasonable time. I intend to attempt to edit the 8X-Day footage SOON
this time. If nothing else I can probably get a 2 minute VCD mpeg of
the teabagging online soon. I LOVE doing this shit, but I have run out
of hard drive space until I either get this new supercomputer up and
running, or edit the Winterstar DVD and get the master off my drives,
and also there were quite a few swag orders that stacked up since June
26, yet the leftover swag is all strewn across the reception room three
stories below, so it might be bzzz bzzz bzzz PRABOB PRABOB PRABOB bzzz
bzzzz click

To Be Continued

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB

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Subject: Re: Writhing in Slack
From: nenslo <nenslo@bahoo.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

In article <070720052232163715%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>,
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:

> It's the SubGenius New Year. Everything is renewed, refreshed, rebuilt,
> reconstructed.
>
> Every X-Day Drill, when the world doesn't end, a new version of
> Nu-Monet comes out -- as does a new version of everySubGenius, although
> most of them aren't labeled as such, like Nu-Monet is.

Sadly, the only new thing is the label. In both cases it's still the
same fetid heap of horseshit.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Writhing in Slack
From: Eddie Vroom <glassgnost@nospam.sbcglobal.net>

> It's like getting one's overgrown brain-yard mowed.

SIG!

--
"It's like getting one's overgrown brain-yard mowed".

- Ivan Stang - subgenius.com

the Mystical RevvedErrand Doktor Eddie Vroom
Certified God by the holy authority of
the White Lotus Fortune Cookie Company
June 23, 2004

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Subject: Re: Writhing in Slack
From: "Rev. Chain Smerker" <michael@SPAMBEGONEsubgenius.com>

Welcome back you barstad

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Subject: Re: Writhing in Slack
From: "RevNickie" <revnickie@hotmail.com>

Funny. I didn't have a great time at 7-XDay for some reason either.
This year, when I heard Jesus was not coming, and I expected to have to
do a lot extra, I feared the worst. However, I feel like we all pulled
together, and made it work. Rev. BOBWILD helped me out a lot.

Perhaps the NHGHic forces that have been pulling at me for the last 18
months (since Bob got HURT REAL REAL BAD) have finally begun to
dissapate...

-RevNickie

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Subject: Re: Writhing in Slack
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

You and Magdalen and Bob were like FIVE JESUSES and THREE MODEMACS PUT
TOGETHER, only with TWO SETS OF GREAT TITS and one set of great fake
tits!

Believe it or not, I have still not opened either of the cash boxes.

But I am about ready to start jacking off to the photos so as to
determine each picture's suitability for SubSITE.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Zapanaz <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

Subgenius dowsing

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"NOT ONE RED CENT FOR ENTROPY!"
- ggg

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Original file name: Writhing in Slack - converted on Monday, 18 July 2005, 17:18