Breaking News: Infernal Device Nearly Detonated

From: "Assco" <asscoassc@aol.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jul 5, 2005 9:53 PM

Sherman, NY, July 5 2005, 4:20amET - An unknown terrorist attempted to
ingnite an infernal device at the Spaceport. If successfully detonated,
would have wiped out considerable portions of Rock & Roll Land, Normal
Land, New Africa and Sportsland, USA.

Targeted were several heirarchical members of the Church of the
SubGenius including Reverend Ivan Stang, Princess Wei-R-Doe, Doc Frop,
Sister Decadence, Mr. and Mrs. Reverend Sexmortus, and others.

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Subject: Re: Breaking News: Infernal Device Nearly Detonated
From: "Assco"
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jul 5, 2005 10:03 PM

UPDATE:

Sherman, NY, July 5 2005, 5:23amET -
An terrorist attempted to ingnite an
infernal device at the Spaceport.
If successfully detonated,
would have wiped out considerable
portions of Rock & Roll Land, Normal
Land, New Africa and Sportsland, USA.

Targeted were several heirarchical
members of the Church of the
SubGenius including Reverend
Ivan Stang, Princess Wei-R-Doe,
Doc Frop, Sister Decadence,
Mr. and Mrs. Reverend Sexmortus,
and others.

According to witnesses a man in military
uniform entered the Sinctum Sanctorum
Rectum where an important meeting
was taking place. He was said to be
carrying a large, red cylindrical object
labeled "T-N-T" and bearing the "Acme"
brand insignia.

"The surprising thing about the man's
behavior was how polite he was" said
Zosodada who was present at the event.
"He asked it it would be okay to place the
device next to a fire. This was given
no objection from those present.
He then asked if it would be alright
with everyone if he lit the fuse. He
actually borrowed a lighter from one
of his intended victims. "

photos: assco