Subject: If 1984 is 19 years late...

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Mar 7, 2003 3:56 PM

In article <b56e112e.0303071053.6eb70cc7@posting.google.com>, Rabbi
Jacklyn Hyde <rabbs@subgenius.com> wrote:

> "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
> news:<070320031023075946%stang@subgenius.com>...
>

>Last night in his big speech, I could have sworn I heard The King of
>the Universe say the phrase,
>
>"The goal of this war is peace."
>
>He might have said more as part of that statement, but I'm pretty sure
>that those last three words were in there, "war is peace."
>
>This gives us a handle on where we might possibly be on the timeline.
>Prior to this, we knew only that July 5, 1998 has not yet arrived. Now,
>we can surmise that The Conspiracy's 1984 is in place, indicating that
>we're 19 years behind where the Con wants us to think we are.
>
>This not only explains the maddening lack of flying cars, jet-packs,
>robot servants and insta-burgers on command from a slot here in the
>alleged year 2003. It implies that X-Day will be what the false
>calendars all currently call
>
>JULY 5, 2017
>
>On the other hand, there was more to the Orwellian 1984 (and the 1984
>1984 movie) than self-contradicting phrases like "War is Peace." For
>instance, there were giant TVs that were always on. "Work" was
>meaningless replication of effort that kept you dulled. The news was
>completely fake and every week the people were riled up over a patently
>fake every-villain named Goldstein. Only the shittiest, most unhealthy
>drugs were legal. They could put you in jail forever even if you
>committed no real crime at all. War was a patently fake method of
>population control.
>
>Anyway, for all we know, tomorrow *could* be the real July 5, 1998,
>and, because I have a SubGenius Minister's card in my pocket, I
>fervently hope that it indeed IS.

> >
> Wow, I was HOPING you'd finally figure out a more eloquent excuse than
> the one we actually got at X-Day! Not a bad one at all, my dear.
>
> --With love, the Rabbs

I don't think there were any official excuses, reasons, explanations
given by Dobbs, and I sure as hell don't know what the date is. Papa
Joe started saying immediately, right then and there, that the date
must be way wrong. The upside down numbers thing, I personally think
was a fluke. That is, Dobbs REALLY MEANT 1998, but he absently wrote it
wrong, upside down, as 8661, and then later CORRECTED the problem. That
would be much more like J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, to do it wrong in just such a
way that we would never be sure if it's been corrected or is still a
mistake.

Ever SINCE then we (the royal We anyway) have consistently reminded
everyone who would listen that we don't know if X-Moment might not be
THREE SECONDS FROM RIGHT NOW...

...so you must ALWAYS be READY.

And personally I don't believe this "1984, 19 years late" theory at
all... it was just an interesting conceit to blather on the radio for
10 seconds. If NOW was indeed the Orweliian 1984, I'd be Citizen Smith,
not Rev. Stang. And I'm Rev. Stang. Right? RIGHT?!?

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

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Subject: Re: If 1984 is 19 years late...
From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Mar 7, 2003 6:17 PM
Message-ID: <3E6928A2.74C2E9E7@subgenius.com>

I'm sorry to say, I fell asleep on the Prez. Well, half asleep.

You just confirmed to me that I did not DREAM that he said "the purpose
of this war is PEACE". It was not my fevered brain that cooked that one
up, then.

Well, of course, if the war is so bad that it leads to TOTAL
DESTRUCTION, indeed, the aftermath will be quite peaceful. I'm not sure
that's what he meant.

PS, I was driving downtown and I passed a bunch of peaceniks picketing
at the Cleveland Clinic. I flipped them the finger. I prolly wouldn't
have if some other opponent was involved. This time I think we
shouldn't roll over. North Korea, either. Lets get them fuckers! And
take the UN with them. I got a starving SUV in the garage.

[*]
-----

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Subject: Re: If 1984 is 19 years late...
From: "nikolai kingsley" <nikolai@broadway.net.au>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Mar 8, 2003 7:02 AM
Message-ID: <newscache$21lfbh$w0k$1@bartleby.maths.monash.edu.au>

> And personally I don't believe this "1984, 19 years late" theory at
> all... it was just an interesting conceit to blather on the radio for
> 10 seconds. If NOW was indeed the Orweliian 1984, I'd be Citizen Smith,
> not Rev. Stang. And I'm Rev. Stang. Right? RIGHT?!?

after the revolution, you'll be "Citizen Stang".

that sounds like a *great* title for a film.

nikolai
---
"What I like is CULTURE! What I like is ART!"
- Burroughs, taken way out of context

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Subject: Re: If 1984 is 19 years late...
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Mar 7, 2003 8:59 PM
Message-ID: <8cc8cffc.0303071759.7ed0938c@posting.google.com>

I seem to have lost my physical membership card. Can I still get on
the Saucer by showing my nose or anal print to the scanner? I'll wipe
it off with my "Bob" shirt afterwards, I swear. That cleans up almost
anything, except for chili.

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
"Your Slack In An Hour Or Its Free"

"They weren't using her stuff because it was smarter than the show,
but she didn't know that."
- "The West Wing"

"I try to construct my simple theses,
but my words hit the ground like a pile of feces"
- Robin Williams

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Subject: Re: If 1984 is 19 years late...
From: Jarto the Schizo <stevejouanny@hotmail.com>
>

On Fri, 07 Mar 2003 10:23:07 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
<stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

>
>Anyway, for all we know, tomorrow *could* be the real July 5, 1998,
>and, because I have a SubGenius Minister's card in my pocket, I
>fervently hope that it indeed IS.

I wish it was. I don't enjoy revelling in this misery of a planet.
---
Jarto ante-DopePOPE><><><> -SJJ-
"Sure, everything in nature's beautiful,
unless it's ugly."
- Grandpa - "Hey Arnold"

PC term for losers in sports - Victoriously challenged.
PC term for winners - racists.

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Subject: Re: If 1984 is 19 years late...
From: clayton_woolard@hotmail.com (Clayton Woolard)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Mar 8, 2003 6:49 PM
Message-ID: <be88a1e8.0303081549.4a9f2d33@posting.google.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message news:<070320031023075946%stang@subgenius.com>...

> Last night in his big speech, I could have sworn I heard The King of
> the Universe say the phrase,
>
> "The goal of this war is peace."
>
>

"The first speaker to compare his opponent to the Nazis, automatically loses."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: If 1984 is 19 years late...
From: hedburner <ukannot@spammerbot.kom>

The year 2017 is when I'll be able to retire with a full pension.
Hopefully this means that I'll be on the bus with my god given 75
virgin hotties as my reward in paradise. Rejoice in Jehova and please
pass me the lube and viagra.

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Original file name: Re- If 1984 is 19 years late... - converted on Wednesday, 7 May 2003, 02:18