From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Sat, Oct 5, 2002 8:10 PM
Message-ID: <3D9F809B.1B5B@succeeds.com>
Just thought you'd like to know.
When a paid-up SubGenius dies, prior to X-Day,
his/her/its soul is relayed to me and kept in
a glass jar, appropriately labeled.
I feed them on a healthy diet of soul food and
perform other maintenance until such time as
X-Day rolls around or we find a suitable clone
body for them to occupy. They rarely seem to
want a soul xplant with a pink, as attractive
as that might sound to the living, however, as
pink bodies lack a good assortment of mutagens
to 'fine tune' their new habitat with.
Most prefer a clone body that is a major mod
away from merehume. Tentacles are all the
rage, as are antennae that can inflict injury
and feline/canine/reptilian/insect mods.
GG Allin (not paid up but on a "Get Out of Hell
Free" card from "Bob") for example, is
now
happily ensconced in a rather Cthuluian form,
inhabiting a sewer in the lowest East side of
NYC, and his only complaint is the lack of good
central heating and rent control.
This is not to say that if you *want* a soulless
pink body you can't use it. "Bob" knows we
have
plenty of them sitting around, though we put
their souls in a jar full of gasoline or The
Works toilet bowl cleaner.
--
"Ruddy Natives!" snorted nu-monet sarcastically,
as he stood in the muddy clearing of a rain forest,
a soggy Carlton between his lips, a bag of stolen
treasure over one shoulder and a drugged virgin
high-priestess over the other; as he frantically
tried to light his empty Zippo, a dozen native
spears aimed at his head attesting to both his
newfound lack of lighter fluid and his sudden and
tragic loss of godlike powers.