Subject: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge

From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Oct 12, 2002 1:19 AM
Message-ID: <111020022219380515%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

Forwarded from Chas Smith of ESO:

Three nights in a row of dancing and jamming was a lot of fun. Hell...
even if I didn't um... find my seXgoddess... I DID do -things- I'd
never done before - like find slack in a drum beat, and other fun, and
I plan to continue that trend at seX-Day... and jam harder... and dance
harder... and maybe even just maybe, there'll be a lil' hottie or two
to occupy my time. Who knows, stranger things have happened. I'll have
fun anyway... and T-Base party tramps will dance and jam the night
away, because that's all that matters. Those who did so this past
summer know that... they've already begun their journey down the path.

And, again, when we hear bobbie ranters from the stage, we'll dance and
drum and jam louder and harder until the whip of submission drives
those voices to drift into the jungle canopy to become just another
wild cry in the night... another voice in the jungle's fugue. It's war
and XD is just another theater for THESE soldiers... language is a
virus... only dance and music... and the almighty BEAT... is what
matters. Hell... BoB knows that, but he ain't tellin anyone HIS
secrets... as knowledge shared is power lost. It connects to the life
force... it transports to the place of "silent knowledge." DO YOU KNOW
what THAT means, young warriors... young padwas?... that diving into
the plasma pool of the BEAT opens the doors beyond language. Silent
knowledge has nothing to do with that moron Casteneda... Shit... he
wasn't even a musician. He wrote ten fucking books on the topic and
NEVER ONCE mentioned music, drums, or the BEAT. The BEAT... and
stomping your foot to it... It is the tool that accesses the swift
sword of the impeccable warrior... at WAR against THOSE WHO FAKE THE
FUNK. I'm just the errand boy sent by grocery clerks to collect a
debt... and that debt is that YOU PEOPLE JUST DON'T DANCE ENOUGH. But
I'LL make you dance... because I've got NEWS for EVERYONE. The Sex
Goddesses haven't SHOWN UP YET BECAUSE they don't let anyone who CAN'T
DANCE on their pleasure ships. Theyíve learned how to spot those who
fake the funk and they just fly away. They ALMOST descended this past
year when they saw the throng of dancers on Saturday night... but then
they looked around and saw a lot of other subGs NOT dancing... NOT
hearing the BEAT... NOT hearing the voice of silent knowledge, so they
gave each other a nod and flew back out into space for another year.
You people must understand one thing--that the Sex Goddesses seek one
thing above all--Beat Warriors--not bobbies. They are searching the
universe for those who possess a keen understanding of rhythm--which
SHOULD be obvious, because they are, after all, SEX goddesses.
So--those of you who WERENíT dancing--it's YOUR fault that WE'RE STILL
HERE. Oh... they'll be back. They'll be watching. And if we ALL show
them that we at least UNDERSTAND... we don't have to be polished Beat
Warriors... we just need to show that we have the capacity, intent and
will to be so. SeX-Day will be either our finest--or our most desperate
hour. The choice is entirely yours. It's THAT simple--dance with the
night and ride that luv vibe wave right up to the sky, or don't.

I have tried to guide the Pleasure Vessels to us--but I have failed. I
have failed because YOU have not helped me. YOU PEOPLE have not given
the Sex Goddesses the proper motivation to part the clouds they hide
behind and get us off this place. SO--from now on--whenever I think
that the Sex Goddesses have forsaken us, I WILL NOT blame them--I will
blame all of YOU!!! And the way I see it ladies, you owe me for one
foot stompin', hog wailin', ridge-runnin', screamin banshee night of
unbridled dancing and fun.

The BEAT can only do one of two things--it either takes Beat Warriors
with it up to the Pleasure Vessels and Sex Goddesses--or it leaves them
behind.

Can I get a witness?

luv
~Chas

--
--=8=-- \m/ --=8=-- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ --=8=-- \m/ --=8=--
When I lick myself, it's usually just a little reward for a job well done.
-- Joe Cosby, <b5dllu0fc3nvbctp80tr8bdjg2stlgkjid@4ax.com>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

Man, you should invite me to your fucking thing. I got a whole crowd
of white people dancing when I was doing voodoo drumming before. Your
problem isn't inspiration. Your problem is FUCKING WHITE PEOPLE. It
isn't even that white peopel CAN'T DANCE. They just DON'T. And it
isnt' even that they don't WANT TO. They DO. They just DON'T.

Being white is inherently a form of neurosis.

It's ALL in the drumming.

When you're doing voodoo drumming, the technique for getting peoiole
'chevalier', getting them RIDDEN BY THE GODS (ie, dancing) is the ....
gah, what do you call it. The KASÉ . The BREAK beat, the OFF beat.
If you don't get them with the kasÉ, you will not get them.

It's quite simple really. You have a hole chorus of drummers in a
voodoo ritual. five to ten, more for a big thing. They are like a
symphony, more or less RENDERING a tune. Or the tune's rythm, but you
know. So the KASÉ drummer is the SLY PRANK. He's the real magician
in the crowd. He plays SNEAKY AND OBSERVANT, and waits for JSUT THE
RIGHT OFF BEAT, the beat that is close, but just nearly off, just
nearly stumbles. This is like whipping the horse's eyes. This is
like whipping the slaves. You sneak in there to the drum chorus, and,
a good kasÉ drummer will usually do something which is just a LITTLE
too fast. bam bam BAMBAM bam. That kind of thing. But that's not
nearly good enough, that by itself will just make a few people
stumble. You keep sneaking in there. bam bam BAMBAM bam ... bam bam
bam ... bam bam BAMBBAM bam ... bam bam bam ... see, now it's a more
complicated rythm, it's got both a five count and this three count,
and a four count (alternating between the two.

If you don't get what I'm saying up to this point, give it up now.

So now it's bam bam BAMBAM bam ... bam bam BAMBAMBAM bam BAMBAM ...

So now it's a five beat and a three beat and a four beat ... AND A
SEVEN BEAT, and another beat which is locking them all together, like
a fourty eight beat or something ridiculous. You are SPEEDING IT UP,
that's all that matters. You are whipping the horse's eyes to make
them bleed.

Well fuck I am not explaining this worht a sith.

But I have made whole crowds of people, FUCKING HONKEYS AT THAT, go
completely wild this way. It does work. I only wish I could explain
it to where you'd get it. It's not really difficult, but you have to
let loose more than what you expect them to. That's kinda the thing.

i guess the moral of the story is: fast works.

>luv
>~Chas

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography
-Ambrose Beirce

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Oct 12, 2002 8:56 AM
Message-ID: <friday-ya02408000R1210020904380001@news.earthlink.net>

In article <mqefqukhu3rd3mpm03cq130abuhv06tkfv@4ax.com>, Joe Cosby
<joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote:

>On Fri, 11 Oct 2002 22:19:38 -0700, Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench
><lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote:
>
>>Forwarded from Chas Smith of ESO:
>>
>>The BEAT can only do one of two things--it either takes Beat Warriors
>>with it up to the Pleasure Vessels and Sex Goddesses--or it leaves them
>>behind.
>>
>>Can I get a witness?
>>
>
>yo
>
>Man, you should invite me to your fucking thing. I got a whole crowd
>of white people dancing when I was doing voodoo drumming before. Your
>problem isn't inspiration. Your problem is FUCKING WHITE PEOPLE. It
>isn't even that white peopel CAN'T DANCE. They just DON'T. And it
>isnt' even that they don't WANT TO. They DO. They just DON'T.
>
>Being white is inherently a form of neurosis.
>
>It's ALL in the drumming.

OK, tell you what, Chas provides the beat, I provide the blackface paint.
We'll have a hundred voodoo-painted jigaboos dancing at XD6.

THAT ought to make for some interesting footage.

Be sure to bring your spears for cucking, and your watermelons for eating
(and fucking), and some heads for hunting (and launching)!

If electricity comes from electrons ... does that mean that morality comes
from morons?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: Legume <no-email@fuckthespammers.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Oct 12, 2002 11:35 AM
Message-ID: <Xns92A578A07842F154563@128.242.171.114>

friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones) wrote in
news:friday-ya02408000R1210020904380001@news.earthlink.net:

> OK, tell you what, Chas provides the beat, I provide the blackface
> paint. We'll have a hundred voodoo-painted jigaboos dancing at XD6.
>
> THAT ought to make for some interesting footage.
>
> Be sure to bring your spears for cucking, and your watermelons for
> eating (and fucking), and some heads for hunting (and launching)!

You must be prescient, Friday. We're talking big fatass beats and a
Saturday night Fish Fry, we gone pitch a wang dang doodle all night long.

I'm up for the blackface, my nubian princess, we gone NIG OUT.

Sine yo pitty on the runny tine!

--
Legume
----------
"I have been thinking about sitting down with Crazy Acid Burnout Man and
having a serious talk with him." - Ivan Stang

-----------== Posted via Newsfeed.Com - Uncensored Usenet News ==----------
http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----= Over 100,000 Newsgroups - Unlimited Fast Downloads - 19 Servers =-----

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Date: Sat, Oct 12, 2002 3:55 PM
Message-ID: <friday-ya02408000R1210021604300001@news.earthlink.net>

In article <Xns92A578A07842F154563@128.242.171.114>, Legume
<no-email@fuckthespammers.com> wrote:

>friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones) wrote in
>news:friday-ya02408000R1210020904380001@news.earthlink.net:
>
>> OK, tell you what, Chas provides the beat, I provide the blackface
>> paint. We'll have a hundred voodoo-painted jigaboos dancing at XD6.
>>
>> THAT ought to make for some interesting footage.
>>
>> Be sure to bring your spears for cucking, and your watermelons for
>> eating (and fucking), and some heads for hunting (and launching)!
>
>You must be prescient, Friday. We're talking big fatass beats and a
>Saturday night Fish Fry, we gone pitch a wang dang doodle all night long.
>
>I'm up for the blackface, my nubian princess, we gone NIG OUT.
>
>Sine yo pitty on the runny tine!

Great! OK everyone, when the Hallowe'en sales comes up on November 1, buy
all the big black Afro wigs you can to bring to X-Day!
Actaully, they don't have to be black: red or god or purple would be cool too,

We're going to have a good ol'-fashioned nig-out!

"You are one cunt hair away from hillbilly heaven."
- Ron Perlman, Blade II

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: Chaz <swampradio@excite.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Date: Sat, Oct 12, 2002 5:49 PM
Message-ID: <2O0q9.26763$lV3.2351411@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net>

friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones) wrote in
news:friday-ya02408000R1210021604300001@news.earthlink.net:

>
> Great! OK everyone, when the Hallowe'en sales comes up on November 1,
> buy all the big black Afro wigs you can to bring to X-Day!
> Actaully, they don't have to be black: red or god or purple would be
> cool too,
>
> We're going to have a good ol'-fashioned nig-out!

Killer. ESO drummer Raven is gonna' LOVE this. Maybe he can wear white-face
and boss us all around like our Massa'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: Chaz <swampradio@excite.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Oct 12, 2002 5:47 PM
Message-ID: <HL0q9.26749$lV3.2351411@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net>

Legume <no-email@fuckthespammers.com> wrote in news:Xns92A578A07842F154563@
128.242.171.114:

> we gone pitch a wang dang doodle all night long.
>
> I'm up for the blackface, my nubian princess, we gone NIG OUT.
>
> Sine yo pitty on the runny tine!

Damn... let's have us a Brush Arbor...

Brush Arbors were the secret meeting out in the woods that the slaves would
hold to drum and dance and fuck and plot rebellions.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: Chaz <swampradio@excite.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Oct 12, 2002 5:44 PM
Message-ID: <ZI0q9.26736$lV3.2340289@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net>

friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones) wrote in
news:friday-ya02408000R1210020904380001@news.earthlink.net:

>
> OK, tell you what, Chas provides the beat, I provide the blackface
> paint. We'll have a hundred voodoo-painted jigaboos dancing at XD6.

Oh... I'll provide a jungle bunny beat for you any night, Friday. Yeah...
spears and bones and loin cloths.

TIKI BANZAI JUNGLE BUNNY SOCK HOP. I'll be installing a fuck swing next
summer, and like the bondage cross this past summer, I'm sure it will get
good use.

That's it... it's final... seX-Day the TikiBanzai party theme IS the
jungle bunny sock hop. Single or swingin' gals get in free. Outlaws get
in free. (they know who they are) Guys... you have to bring a little
hottie for me as price of admission. No cameras, of course. Live sex
shows are only for participants or female audience members prepared to be
inserted into the show.

Wait... I thought cowpokin' was the theme. Naw... this is better... and
only the theme of one party... of the whole weekend. Though I don't know
how I'll get out of a jungle hop mode once I'm into it. Who craes. I'm
five finger man. I BUILD the stage... now get yo' monkey asses up there
and entertain the troops.

~Chazmatazz

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Date: Sat, Oct 12, 2002 4:25 PM
Message-ID: <friday-ya02408000R1210021633040001@news.earthlink.net>

In article <_-Gdna5oZqAYHTWgXTWcog@News.GigaNews.Com>, "ICEKNIFE"
<icNOekSPAMnife@lmi.net> wrote:

>"Friday Jones" <friday@fridayjones.com> wrote in message
>news:friday-ya02408000R1210020904380001@news.earthlink.net...
>
>> OK, tell you what, Chas provides the beat, I provide the blackface
>paint.
>> We'll have a hundred voodoo-painted jigaboos dancing at XD6.
>>
>> THAT ought to make for some interesting footage.
>>
>> Be sure to bring your spears for cucking, and your watermelons for
>eating
>> (and fucking), and some heads for hunting (and launching)!
>
> This comes dangerously close to themes for X-Days. Y'know, the
>Greco-Atlantean X-Day, the Highland Games X-Day, the Mayan Hell X-Day,
>the If Groucho fucked Mothra and they had BABIES X-Day, the Demoliton
>Derby X-Day, the Wild Appliance Tribe X-Day (a toaster makes an
>excellent bull-roarer), the Crotchless Business Suit X-Day (not to be
>confused with Ball-Walking on Stilts X-Day), Martian Mariachi Mardi
>Gras X-Day, Rabid Bear Ranching X-Day, Come-As-You-Should-Have-Been
>X-Day, Fakey British X-Day, Anything-In-A-Pie-Crust X-Day, Damn Bitch
>But You Sho' Is UGLY X-Day, Legume's Carnival of Silly Porn X-Day,
>
>ok, that one might work, but overall it's a BAD IDEA.

Oh slack off Icey, this is a theme PARTY, not a theme for the whole damn
shebang!

"A person playing with fire should not yell when he gets burned."
- Israel Justice Minister Yossi Beilin, on Israeli troops shooting at
protestors

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: Chaz <swampradio@excite.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Oct 12, 2002 1:39 PM
Message-ID: <l7Zp9.25938$lV3.2314729@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net>

Thought I'd figure out this alt. thing so I could get in here and reply
directly. Thanks Lil.

I will now pick on this primate myself.
(aka. just having fun blowing time on a Saturday - drinking coffee and
listening to tunes while Kazaa downloads a few movies and more music.

I'm just shootin' from the hip just to hear the sound of my gun... know
what 'm sayun'?)

Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote in
news:mqefqukhu3rd3mpm03cq130abuhv06tkfv@4ax.com:

> yo
>
> Man, you should invite me to your fucking thing.

The invite is a sloppy blowjob for the Tiki Banzai proprietor.

> I got a whole crowd
> of white people dancing when I was doing voodoo drumming before.

Voodoo Schmoodoo... I'll take my Beat Warriors up against any. Bring it
on. THUS BEGINS THE DRUM WARS.

> Your
> problem isn't inspiration. Your problem is FUCKING WHITE PEOPLE. It
> isn't even that white peopel CAN'T DANCE. They just DON'T. And it
> isnt' even that they don't WANT TO. They DO. They just DON'T.

Bullcrap. I came of age in the 70s. LOTS of white people danced then.
It's TV generation that's to blame... white and black... that's removed
the Dance gene. And today... I spend the whole summer watching white
people dance naked 'round bonfires. We don't haver TVs there though.

>
> Being white is inherently a form of neurosis.

Bah... Booker T & the MGs was the backup band for Wilson Pickett and Otis
Redding... some of the best music that came out of the early soul period.
The hottest musicians at Fame Studios. Two black guys... two white guys.
Aretha Franklin's (Lady Soul) backup band was ALL white.

Antibalas just played here to a full house of 500 maniacally dancing...
white people. The black folk actually were the ones standing against the
walls. It's sad really, because it's authentic African music, and here's
the white people dancing their hearts out, and the black people afraid to
allow themselves to show to the world that this is their roots. They'll
dance to hiphop and rave... but not authentic roots jungle boogie. You
tell me why.

I KNOW from going to so many pagan tribal festivals that there's a whole
lot more white people in tune to their pagan jungle monkey roots than
black people. I'm just stating fact. My wish is that there were a WHOLE
LOT MORE ethnically diverse crowd at thoise festivals... more balance in
representation. I WISH there were JUST as many red, yellow, and black
tribes as white at those things. And WHY do I wish that? Simply because
I'd like to see them all fucking. Their children won't know their
nationality, and we'll finally be on the road to wiping out nationalism
and ethnic pride and start truly seeing ourselves as one race... the
human race.

>
> It's ALL in the drumming.
>
> When you're doing voodoo drumming, the technique for getting peoiole
> 'chevalier', getting them RIDDEN BY THE GODS (ie, dancing) is the ....
> gah, what do you call it. The KASÉ . The BREAK beat, the OFF beat.
> If you don't get them with the kasÉ, you will not get them.

Backbeat... call it what ya' want. Ain't telling me anything new. I teach
it to hundreds every day. There isn't one 1950s rhythm&blues (hand
clappin' jump blues) OR Rockabilly song that DIDN'T stress the backbeat.
ALL of rock & roll is ALL about the backbeat. 12 bar blues form, boogie
woogie bass, and the backbeat... those three concepts are sacred trinity
of rock music. EVERY Big Joe Turner song... Treniers song,.. Elvis
song... Chuck Berry... the list goes on and on... WITH revivals... Stray
Cats... Ramones... etc. No to even mention jazz history and the backbeat.

DISCO RUINED THAT. That's the bullshit belief today. In fact... Phil
Spector ruined it 15 years before that with "You've Lost That Loving
Feeling" Not only does that Number One hit not have a backbeat... it
doesn't even have a beat. Fucking musical Prozac.

BUT... BIGGER question...
So much old and sexy world music isn't even in 4/4. Where is the backbeat
in 7/8... or 5/4? Those rhythms don't backbeat... they "stutter." 7/8 is
really felt as 2+2+3. THAT stutter is built into the rhythm and makes
SOME people dance all the more... and MUCH more interestingly. All sorts
of middle-eastern, euro and indian music uses it. (and anyone who can
watch classical indian dancers and not get a hardon is dead)

My point is... it's not ALL about the backbeat. YOU people who call
yourself musicians and drummers stuck on that 4/4 backbeat shit just get
the most amazingly funny ass look of confusement on your face when true
Beat Warriors T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R slip FROM a 4/4 INTO a 7/8 or 9/8 (felt as
4+3+2). That's when the wheat get seperated from the chaffe. The shifting
of awareness by doing this is something folks trapped in the world of
normals can't grasp. Doing this moves the assemblage point of awareness,
and if you don't have the warriors sight to move with it... suddenly you
are in the dark... confused... it doesn't make sense... you're body can't
drum to it... you are parylized with fear of the unfamiliar. I've seen it
so many times it just makes me laugh now. The dancers love it though, as
long as the bass beats are firm and sure.

You're god or goddess that guides your 4/4 KASE beat can't even give a
sloppy cumbucket blowjob compared to the amazing fuck ride that 7 or 9/8
can deliver. TRY making love to one beat... I'm telling you... the facts
are in. Time to get up and go to school.

>
> It's quite simple really. You have a hole chorus of drummers in a
> voodoo ritual. five to ten, more for a big thing. They are like a
> symphony, more or less RENDERING a tune. Or the tune's rythm, but you
> know. So the KASÉ drummer is the SLY PRANK.

Or the dry yank

> He's the real magician
> in the crowd. He plays SNEAKY AND OBSERVANT, and waits for JSUT THE
> RIGHT OFF BEAT, the beat that is close, but just nearly off, just
> nearly stumbles. This is like whipping the horse's eyes. This is
> like whipping the slaves. You sneak in there to the drum chorus, and,
> a good kasÉ drummer will usually do something which is just a LITTLE
> too fast. bam bam BAMBAM bam. That kind of thing. But that's not
> nearly good enough, that by itself will just make a few people
> stumble. You keep sneaking in there. bam bam BAMBAM bam ... bam bam
> bam ... bam bam BAMBBAM bam ... bam bam bam ... see, now it's a more
> complicated rythm, it's got both a five count and this three count,
> and a four count (alternating between the two.

Yeah... when a drummer does that... we say he's beating off.

That's still all 4/4 mumbo jumbo. That's for (ewwwwwyeauch) EARTHLINGS.
Damn... pop in some Funkadelic Lunchmeataphobia. Get on the Mothership
and use the Force.

>
> If you don't get what I'm saying up to this point, give it up now.

Yes... The loud speaker spoke up and said... GIVE UP! Fuck that Give Up
crap... I'll take any hot lil female (or passable -I SAID PASSABLE-
shemale for that matter... just ask Legume... he knows... he saw me
drooling over a couple of rave shemales) that doesn't understand your
explanation, and within an hour transform them into Beat Warriors.

>
> So now it's bam bam BAMBAM bam ... bam bam BAMBAMBAM bam BAMBAM ...

or
BAM bam bam bam BAM bam bam BAM bam
or
BAM bam BAM bam BAM bam bam

>
> So now it's a five beat and a three beat and a four beat ... AND A
> SEVEN BEAT, and another beat which is locking them all together, like
> a fourty eight beat or something ridiculous. You are SPEEDING IT UP,
> that's all that matters. You are whipping the horse's eyes to make
> them bleed.

OK... now I'm going to TURN TAIL Benedict Arnold style and defend 4/4.
Heh heh... what do I care, I'm an outlaw mercenary.

Noooo... I've HEARD them drummers. They try to work this into a throng
settled into 4/4. They try to do this stuff in large circles of non beat
warriors (people on festival who just want to dance naked to a simple
beat and go fuck in the forest) where everyone is locked into a medium
paced luv vibe 4/4... then they come into the middle of that and start
machine gunning the rhythm to death. That is so fucking egomaniacal... I
want to smack them upside the head. CONGRATUFUCKINGLATIONS... you just
STOPPED a throng of naked chics from dancing a dance they've been working
through for over an hour.

IT AIN'T ABOUT YOU!!! YOU DUMB ASS FUCKING DJEMBE COWBOY... IT"S ABOUT
THE FUCKING GIRLS DANCING NAKED. THE BOTTOM line is this... if there's a
rhythm happening that is driving females to take off their clothes and
move their bodies to it... and IN COMES your little coyote drummer with
his badam bada ba ba BAM bambaBAM and throws the whole thing off and the
whole things comes to a whimpering disassemblage... well... I'm going to
override that little dog. (Drum Warriors actually KNOW HOW TO PLAY A BASS
NOTE)

If there ain'yt no chics dancin' then do what ya' want to the rhythm. But
I've seen voodoo drummers come into the fray at Starwood and destroy a
luv vibe that had been building for HOURS.

REAL beat warriors know WHEN to pull out their 5s and 7s and 9s, and WHEN
to just kick back and drive that 4/4. My experience has been that voodoo
drummers are egomaniacs who drum as a way to say "Look at me." Up in
these parts, we call them Djembe Cowboys. Real beat warriors also know
when to put the stupid drum down and go fuck in the forest.

>
> Well fuck I am not explaining this worht a sith.

No, my young padwa... you are no Sith

>
> But I have made whole crowds of people, FUCKING HONKEYS AT THAT, go
> completely wild this way. It does work.

BUT ONLY if you have the warriors you need to hold down that bass note.
THAT is a BIGASS component. The dancers react to the bass notes... that's
the engine of the machine. The REST of the machine can make all the
clickety clackities it want's to, but if the HEARTBEAT of the machine is
suddenly not felt by the dancers, then all is lost.

I, as a warrior, have trained through many moons to see into the
future... to SEE the voodoo drummer coming... the HEAR his power
growing... to KNOW that this mutherfucker is going to step out and
challenge the luv vibe. That's when I hunker down... the bass note now
must stand its ground. I am only it's champion. I look about catching the
glances of the other anonymous Warriors I know are there... and we hunker
down together... and we take that bass beat and ram it up that fuckers
ass. And the dancers just keep dancing... and the boobs keep bouncing...
and every now and then the drum gets put down... and it's good to be
alive.

> I only wish I could explain
> it to where you'd get it. It's not really difficult, but you have to
> let loose more than what you expect them to. That's kinda the thing.

No, you dumbass cowboy. The dancers have the heartbeat in their
movements... it's about them... not the drummers. The dancers don't need
to let loose... the drummers need to tune into the dancers. Sometimes -
MOST of the time... the slowest, most seemingly boring beat and rhythm
can induce the most sensual display of bonobohood. In fact... it's
precisely WHEN the drummers kick back into a slower, more sensual,
unabtrusive and more slithery and slinky rhythm that the luv vibe REALLY
gets good. Sorry you haven't experienced that yet.

>
> i guess the moral of the story is: fast works.

That's exactly what a djembe cowboy would say.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Oct 12, 2002 4:04 PM
Message-ID: <jfvgquootvmu40aes5dlat4dgfchjv3r6m@4ax.com>

On Sat, 12 Oct 2002 17:39:29 GMT, Chaz <swampradio@excite.com> wrote:

>Thought I'd figure out this alt. thing so I could get in here and reply
>directly. Thanks Lil.
>
>I will now pick on this primate myself.
>(aka. just having fun blowing time on a Saturday - drinking coffee and
>listening to tunes while Kazaa downloads a few movies and more music.
>
>I'm just shootin' from the hip just to hear the sound of my gun... know
>what 'm sayun'?)
>
>
>Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote in
>news:mqefqukhu3rd3mpm03cq130abuhv06tkfv@4ax.com:
>
>> yo
>>
>> Man, you should invite me to your fucking thing.
>
>
>The invite is a sloppy blowjob for the Tiki Banzai proprietor.
>
>
>> I got a whole crowd
>> of white people dancing when I was doing voodoo drumming before.
>
>Voodoo Schmoodoo... I'll take my Beat Warriors up against any. Bring it
>on. THUS BEGINS THE DRUM WARS.
>
>> Your
>> problem isn't inspiration. Your problem is FUCKING WHITE PEOPLE. It
>> isn't even that white peopel CAN'T DANCE. They just DON'T. And it
>> isnt' even that they don't WANT TO. They DO. They just DON'T.
>
>Bullcrap. I came of age in the 70s. LOTS of white people danced then.
>It's TV generation that's to blame... white and black... that's removed
>the Dance gene. And today... I spend the whole summer watching white
>people dance naked 'round bonfires. We don't haver TVs there though.
>
>>
>> Being white is inherently a form of neurosis.
>
>Bah... Booker T & the MGs was the backup band for Wilson Pickett and Otis
>Redding... some of the best music that came out of the early soul period.
>The hottest musicians at Fame Studios. Two black guys... two white guys.
>Aretha Franklin's (Lady Soul) backup band was ALL white.
>
>Antibalas just played here to a full house of 500 maniacally dancing...
>white people. The black folk actually were the ones standing against the
>walls. It's sad really, because it's authentic African music, and here's
>the white people dancing their hearts out, and the black people afraid to
>allow themselves to show to the world that this is their roots. They'll
>dance to hiphop and rave... but not authentic roots jungle boogie. You
>tell me why.
>
>I KNOW from going to so many pagan tribal festivals that there's a whole
>lot more white people in tune to their pagan jungle monkey roots than
>black people. I'm just stating fact. My wish is that there were a WHOLE
>LOT MORE ethnically diverse crowd at thoise festivals... more balance in
>representation. I WISH there were JUST as many red, yellow, and black
>tribes as white at those things. And WHY do I wish that? Simply because
>I'd like to see them all fucking. Their children won't know their
>nationality, and we'll finally be on the road to wiping out nationalism
>and ethnic pride and start truly seeing ourselves as one race... the
>human race.
>
>>
>> It's ALL in the drumming.
>>
>> When you're doing voodoo drumming, the technique for getting peoiole
>> 'chevalier', getting them RIDDEN BY THE GODS (ie, dancing) is the ....
>> gah, what do you call it. The KASÉ . The BREAK beat, the OFF beat.
>> If you don't get them with the kasÉ, you will not get them.
>
>Backbeat... call it what ya' want. Ain't telling me anything new. I teach
>it to hundreds every day. There isn't one 1950s rhythm&blues (hand
>clappin' jump blues) OR Rockabilly song that DIDN'T stress the backbeat.
>ALL of rock & roll is ALL about the backbeat. 12 bar blues form, boogie
>woogie bass, and the backbeat... those three concepts are sacred trinity
>of rock music. EVERY Big Joe Turner song... Treniers song,.. Elvis
>song... Chuck Berry... the list goes on and on... WITH revivals... Stray
>Cats... Ramones... etc. No to even mention jazz history and the backbeat.
>
>DISCO RUINED THAT. That's the bullshit belief today. In fact... Phil
>Spector ruined it 15 years before that with "You've Lost That Loving
>Feeling" Not only does that Number One hit not have a backbeat... it
>doesn't even have a beat. Fucking musical Prozac.
>
>BUT... BIGGER question...
>So much old and sexy world music isn't even in 4/4. Where is the backbeat
>in 7/8... or 5/4? Those rhythms don't backbeat... they "stutter." 7/8 is
>really felt as 2+2+3. THAT stutter is built into the rhythm and makes
>SOME people dance all the more... and MUCH more interestingly. All sorts
>of middle-eastern, euro and indian music uses it. (and anyone who can
>watch classical indian dancers and not get a hardon is dead)
>
>My point is... it's not ALL about the backbeat. YOU people who call
>yourself musicians and drummers stuck on that 4/4 backbeat shit just get
>the most amazingly funny ass look of confusement on your face when true
>Beat Warriors T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R slip FROM a 4/4 INTO a 7/8 or 9/8 (felt as
>4+3+2). That's when the wheat get seperated from the chaffe. The shifting
>of awareness by doing this is something folks trapped in the world of
>normals can't grasp. Doing this moves the assemblage point of awareness,
>and if you don't have the warriors sight to move with it... suddenly you
>are in the dark... confused... it doesn't make sense... you're body can't
>drum to it... you are parylized with fear of the unfamiliar.

Exactly!

>I've seen it
>so many times it just makes me laugh now. The dancers love it though, as
>long as the bass beats are firm and sure.
>
>You're god or goddess that guides your 4/4 KASE beat can't even give a
>sloppy cumbucket blowjob compared to the amazing fuck ride that 7 or 9/8
>can deliver. TRY making love to one beat... I'm telling you... the facts
>are in. Time to get up and go to school.
>
>
>>
>> It's quite simple really. You have a hole chorus of drummers in a
>> voodoo ritual. five to ten, more for a big thing. They are like a
>> symphony, more or less RENDERING a tune. Or the tune's rythm, but you
>> know. So the KASÉ drummer is the SLY PRANK.
>
>Or the dry yank
>
>> He's the real magician
>> in the crowd. He plays SNEAKY AND OBSERVANT, and waits for JSUT THE
>> RIGHT OFF BEAT, the beat that is close, but just nearly off, just
>> nearly stumbles. This is like whipping the horse's eyes. This is
>> like whipping the slaves. You sneak in there to the drum chorus, and,
>> a good kasÉ drummer will usually do something which is just a LITTLE
>> too fast. bam bam BAMBAM bam. That kind of thing. But that's not
>> nearly good enough, that by itself will just make a few people
>> stumble. You keep sneaking in there. bam bam BAMBAM bam ... bam bam
>> bam ... bam bam BAMBBAM bam ... bam bam bam ... see, now it's a more
>> complicated rythm, it's got both a five count and this three count,
>> and a four count (alternating between the two.
>
>
>Yeah... when a drummer does that... we say he's beating off.
>
>That's still all 4/4 mumbo jumbo. That's for (ewwwwwyeauch) EARTHLINGS.
>Damn... pop in some Funkadelic Lunchmeataphobia. Get on the Mothership
>and use the Force.
>
>>
>> If you don't get what I'm saying up to this point, give it up now.
>
>Yes... The loud speaker spoke up and said... GIVE UP! Fuck that Give Up
>crap... I'll take any hot lil female (or passable -I SAID PASSABLE-
>shemale for that matter... just ask Legume... he knows... he saw me
>drooling over a couple of rave shemales) that doesn't understand your
>explanation, and within an hour transform them into Beat Warriors.
>

Oh I was drunk. I guess that all sounded a little pretentious.
Sorry.

>
>>
>> So now it's bam bam BAMBAM bam ... bam bam BAMBAMBAM bam BAMBAM ...
>
>or
>BAM bam bam bam BAM bam bam BAM bam
>or
>BAM bam BAM bam BAM bam bam
>
>>
>> So now it's a five beat and a three beat and a four beat ... AND A
>> SEVEN BEAT, and another beat which is locking them all together, like
>> a fourty eight beat or something ridiculous. You are SPEEDING IT UP,
>> that's all that matters. You are whipping the horse's eyes to make
>> them bleed.
>
>OK... now I'm going to TURN TAIL Benedict Arnold style and defend 4/4.
>Heh heh... what do I care, I'm an outlaw mercenary.
>
>Noooo... I've HEARD them drummers. They try to work this into a throng
>settled into 4/4. They try to do this stuff in large circles of non beat
>warriors (people on festival who just want to dance naked to a simple
>beat and go fuck in the forest) where everyone is locked into a medium
>paced luv vibe 4/4... then they come into the middle of that and start
>machine gunning the rhythm to death. That is so fucking egomaniacal... I
>want to smack them upside the head. CONGRATUFUCKINGLATIONS... you just
>STOPPED a throng of naked chics from dancing a dance they've been working
>through for over an hour.
>

Well, yeah. You don't want to do that.

>IT AIN'T ABOUT YOU!!! YOU DUMB ASS FUCKING DJEMBE COWBOY... IT"S ABOUT
>THE FUCKING GIRLS DANCING NAKED. THE BOTTOM line is this... if there's a
>rhythm happening that is driving females to take off their clothes and
>move their bodies to it... and IN COMES your little coyote drummer with
>his badam bada ba ba BAM bambaBAM and throws the whole thing off and the
>whole things comes to a whimpering disassemblage... well... I'm going to
>override that little dog. (Drum Warriors actually KNOW HOW TO PLAY A BASS
>NOTE)
>
>If there ain'yt no chics dancin' then do what ya' want to the rhythm. But
>I've seen voodoo drummers come into the fray at Starwood and destroy a
>luv vibe that had been building for HOURS.
>
>REAL beat warriors know WHEN to pull out their 5s and 7s and 9s, and WHEN
>to just kick back and drive that 4/4. My experience has been that voodoo
>drummers are egomaniacs who drum as a way to say "Look at me."

Well, yeah.

If there's anything more important than my ego aboard this spaceship,
I want it hunted down and shot immediately.

- Zaphod Beeblebrox

>Up in
>these parts, we call them Djembe Cowboys. Real beat warriors also know
>when to put the stupid drum down and go fuck in the forest.
>
>>
>> Well fuck I am not explaining this worht a sith.
>
>No, my young padwa... you are no Sith
>
>>
>> But I have made whole crowds of people, FUCKING HONKEYS AT THAT, go
>> completely wild this way. It does work.
>
>BUT ONLY if you have the warriors you need to hold down that bass note.
>THAT is a BIGASS component. The dancers react to the bass notes... that's
>the engine of the machine. The REST of the machine can make all the
>clickety clackities it want's to, but if the HEARTBEAT of the machine is
>suddenly not felt by the dancers, then all is lost.
>
>I, as a warrior, have trained through many moons to see into the
>future... to SEE the voodoo drummer coming... the HEAR his power
>growing... to KNOW that this mutherfucker is going to step out and
>challenge the luv vibe. That's when I hunker down... the bass note now
>must stand its ground. I am only it's champion. I look about catching the
>glances of the other anonymous Warriors I know are there... and we hunker
>down together... and we take that bass beat and ram it up that fuckers
>ass. And the dancers just keep dancing... and the boobs keep bouncing...
>and every now and then the drum gets put down... and it's good to be
>alive.
>
>> I only wish I could explain
>> it to where you'd get it. It's not really difficult, but you have to
>> let loose more than what you expect them to. That's kinda the thing.
>
>No, you dumbass cowboy. The dancers have the heartbeat in their
>movements... it's about them... not the drummers. The dancers don't need
>to let loose... the drummers need to tune into the dancers. Sometimes -
>MOST of the time... the slowest, most seemingly boring beat and rhythm
>can induce the most sensual display of bonobohood. In fact... it's
>precisely WHEN the drummers kick back into a slower, more sensual,
>unabtrusive and more slithery and slinky rhythm that the luv vibe REALLY
>gets good. Sorry you haven't experienced that yet.
>
>>
>> i guess the moral of the story is: fast works.
>
>That's exactly what a djembe cowboy would say.

Well I didn't mean to come off as insulting as I apparantly did. My
only real point was, those carefully inserted change-ups tend to be
what will get people up off the floor when you don't have enough
people dancing. That feeling like the train is speeding up. But
you're right, it isn't all about just going faster. When people are
sitting out though, speed-ups tend to be the best way to get them.

I was just trying drunkenly to explain my own experiences and not
being able to put it into words, I didn't mean to imply that you were
to ignorant to understand what I was saying or something. I just
really was failling to explain it in a way which made sense.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Eschatology's Just Another Word for Nothin' Left to Lose

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: Chaz <swampradio@excite.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Oct 12, 2002 4:59 PM
Message-ID: <p20q9.26383$OB5.2304217@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net>

Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote in
news:jfvgquootvmu40aes5dlat4dgfchjv3r6m@4ax.com:

>
> Well I didn't mean to come off as insulting as I apparantly did.

No you didn't. I'm not insulted by know it all little dweebs in the
least. I teach 300 of them every day. I was just sportin' for a fight,
and you happened to be standing there. Now... if you do happen to be in a
drum circle I'm in, and start BAmbadamBAbamBAMbadabababaBaming over a
cool luv vibe, THEN you'll know the final result of insulting.

> My
> only real point was, those carefully inserted change-ups tend to be
> what will get people up off the floor when you don't have enough
> people dancing.

Oh... give it up. The only thing that matters is a good solid bass beat.
If that's there, then everyone falls into place.

>
> I was just trying drunkenly to explain my own experiences and not
> being able to put it into words, I didn't mean to imply that you were
> to ignorant to understand what I was saying or something. I just
> really was failling to explain it in a way which made sense.
>

That's the pitfalls of youth... thinking out loud. Too bad you took on a
45 year old college music professor, 30 year veteran in rock music, and
internationally published author on the topic. Poor little padwa. So much
to learn has he. Bring your drum to seX-Day, and I'll show you how to
play the bass beat. Then maybe when you master that, we'll let you throw
in a babipbaBam here and there.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Oct 12, 2002 7:19 PM
Message-ID: <6abhqu0kin3t1jkjr6trvafdvd2dockccv@4ax.com>

On Sat, 12 Oct 2002 20:59:01 GMT, Chaz <swampradio@excite.com> wrote:

>Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote in
>news:jfvgquootvmu40aes5dlat4dgfchjv3r6m@4ax.com:
>
>>
>> Well I didn't mean to come off as insulting as I apparantly did.
>
>
>No you didn't. I'm not insulted by know it all little dweebs in the
>least. I teach 300 of them every day. I was just sportin' for a fight,
>and you happened to be standing there. Now... if you do happen to be in a
>drum circle I'm in, and start BAmbadamBAbamBAMbadabababaBaming over a
>cool luv vibe, THEN you'll know the final result of insulting.
>
>
>> My
>> only real point was, those carefully inserted change-ups tend to be
>> what will get people up off the floor when you don't have enough
>> people dancing.
>
>Oh... give it up. The only thing that matters is a good solid bass beat.
>If that's there, then everyone falls into place.
>
>>
>> I was just trying drunkenly to explain my own experiences and not
>> being able to put it into words, I didn't mean to imply that you were
>> to ignorant to understand what I was saying or something. I just
>> really was failling to explain it in a way which made sense.
>>
>
>That's the pitfalls of youth... thinking out loud. Too bad you took on a
>45 year old college music professor, 30 year veteran in rock music, and
>internationally published author on the topic. Poor little padwa. So much
>to learn has he. Bring your drum to seX-Day, and I'll show you how to
>play the bass beat. Then maybe when you master that, we'll let you throw
>in a babipbaBam here and there.

I don't doubt that you know more about drumming than me, which kind of
figures because I know nothing about drumming. I -have- done it
though.

There is no greater rush in the world than having the power to drive
several dozen complete strangers completely out of their minds with
nothing but a RYTHM. Especially when half of them are cute and
sweating right through their little tank tops.

Or there probably is, but, you know.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

That's not a pillow, it's an amish land mine.
- Subgenius Spice

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Oct 13, 2002 2:24 AM
Message-ID: <121020022324092042%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <l7Zp9.25938$lV3.2314729@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net>,
Chaz <swampradio@excite.com> wrote:

> I'll take any hot lil female (or passable -I SAID PASSABLE-
> shemale for that matter... just ask Legume... he knows... he saw me
> drooling over a couple of rave shemales)

Shemale is a profession, not an identity. That said, if ever I see a
really cute MTF tranny at XD6, I'll make sure to tell 'em you think
they're even cuter than that. And if it turns out she only does women,
I'll keep her for me and Thea and hand you the next one that comes
along. It's only fair.

Her Ladyship Lilith

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Oct 12, 2002 2:59 AM
Message-ID: <ELPp9.116025$8o3.3409480@twister.austin.rr.com>

"Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench" <lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote in
message news:111020022219380515%lilith@ZubJenius.com
> Forwarded from Chas Smith of ESO:
>
> Three nights in a row of dancing and jamming was a lot of fun. Hell...
> even if I didn't um... find my seXgoddess... I DID do -things- I'd
> never done before - like find slack in a drum beat, and other fun, and
> I plan to continue that trend at seX-Day... and jam harder... and
> dance harder... and maybe even just maybe, there'll be a lil' hottie
> or two to occupy my time.

If he's planning to revive the tradition of drumming loudly all night long,
I will personally pimp out a little hottie or three to distract him from
this plan.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: Legume <no-email@fuckthespammers.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Oct 12, 2002 11:29 AM
Message-ID: <Xns92A577A766ACA154563@128.242.171.114>

"Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote in
news:ELPp9.116025$8o3.3409480@twister.austin.rr.com:

> If he's planning to revive the tradition of drumming loudly all night
> long, I will personally pimp out a little hottie or three to distract
> him from this plan.

You're awful young to be talkin' so old.
--
Legume
----------
"I have been thinking about sitting down with Crazy Acid Burnout Man and
having a serious talk with him." - Ivan Stang

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Beat Warriors vs Bobbies--Chas Issues the XD6 Challenge
From: Chaz <swampradio@excite.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Oct 12, 2002 5:57 PM
Message-ID: <pV0q9.26792$lV3.2351562@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net>

"Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote in
news:ELPp9.116025$8o3.3409480@twister.austin.rr.com:

> If he's planning to revive the tradition of drumming loudly all night
> long, I will personally pimp out a little hottie or three to distract
> him from this plan.

Cool. You only need one if she's built like a little girl like you. I DO so
like them lil' petite ones.

The ONLY way I will STOP drumming now will be when I'm fucking... so
actually, better have two or three on hand to keep me busy.

~Chazmarazzmatazz

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Original file name: Beat Warriors v...ssues the XD6 - converted on Wednesday, 7 May 2003, 02:18