From: asscoltd@aol.com (Assco Ltd)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Jun 30, 2003 10:16 AM
Yes, Assco Ltd will be at X-Day again this year!
We have lots of surprises in store, so keep an eye out
for our wacky shennanigans on and about the Brushwood
campground.
Some of the zany comedy-rituals we plan to enact
include the following surefire laff-getters:
* Stealing YOUR firewood!
* Using the jets in the hottub in an enema-like fashion!
* Getting into the hottub fully clothed with black clothing
colored with cheap Indonesian dye and full clown make
up
after not showering or using "TP" for several
days!
* Making off/out with YOUR beer/'frop/girlfriend/boyfriend.
* Mass public mocking of anyone overweight/underweight
(be they "skyclad", or fully clothed)!
* Begging for YOUR food and/or beer!
* Useing your sleeping bag for a blow-job blanket when
you
aren't around!
* Overestimating our tolerance levels and thereby
requiring medical attention!
* Leaving our "mark" on the toilet seats!
* Causing the toilets to overflow and then walking
away nonchalantly without reporting the problem
and leaving someone else to clean up our stinky
poop!
* Pissing in the pool!
* Vomiting in YOUR tent!
* Building fires 3 feet from YOUR car and tires!
* Sloppy-drunk style sexual molestation attempts!
* Taking surreptitious photographs of YOU! Naked!
* Firing off fireworks into YOUR TENT!
We will also be making a lot of noise right in front
of your tent just as soon as you get to sleep;
taking frequent pisses on your walkway; letting
our children & run around unattended, and/or
locking them in the car unattended until they
scream/suffocate/die; loitering in the fire;
and proslytising everyone we speak to!
See you there!
-- AssCo Ltd.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Assco Ltd, Coming to X-Day!
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Wait, I know you! You're that crusty ol' fart
who thinks he's the only guy Stang should talk
to, that only, like, three people are *real*
SubGeniuses and that everybody else should just
fuck off and let the five of them party alone.
--
"He's just screaming out
'Neuter Me!'"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Assco Ltd, Coming to X-Day!
From: asscoltd@aol.com (Assco Ltd)
Yes! That is correct.
We also like to walk around acting official,
barking orders at the resident campers like,
"Hey, stay off the walkway! There's a SubGenius
event coming through here in an hour, so we have to
keep the path clear!"
And if you hear the same Enya song playing
really loud over and over again all day long,
THAT'S US!
And that bootleg CD product with the Dobbsheads
on the cover and the copyright-violating
compilation "our favorite mixtape" music
(with like, Enya and Banjo Bob and Devo and
Stang and David Allen Coe's racist songs all on it mixed
up together) --
THAT'S OUR PRODUCT!
We're gonna play that real loud all the time, too!