LOUDNESS FUND update--we need funds LOUD!

From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

Date: Wed, Apr 10, 2002

Once again, the SubGenius Foundation simply does not have the funds to
pay for a sound system at X-Day. Once again, I call for all true Yetis
with spare cash to come forward in our time of dire need, lest this
X-Day be a *silent* X-Day.

Last year, we raised $250, which was just enough to rent sound gear
that impressed the Hel out of pretty much everyone with its clarity and
power. ESO's sound was CRYSTAL! Hellpope Huey's synthwork was PRISTINE!
The Wotan Jam was GORGEOUS!!! Even St. N's technically plagued set was
FULL, and ROUND. And friends, you know how much we all like FULL, ROUND
things.

$250 seems like a lot, but it's really only ten $25 donations! ONLY
TEN! That's ten SubGeniuses selling a few CDs they no longer care for,
ten SubGeniuses brown-bagging it for a week, ten mere SubGeniuses
donating 100 mere quarters for MIGHTY AURAL SLACK FOR HUNDREDS.

To date, I have only heard from ONE SubGenius--Rev. Dode, the great
Scottish SubGenius, who probably won't even BE there, but wants to be
able to hear X-Day from clear across the Atlantic, and so contributed
$25--and even converted it from pounds sterling!!! To him, I have
nothing but great praise.

If anyone else has pledged to the Loudness Fund--I have *not* heard
from you. And since the very Foundation nerve center is being
transplanted to Austin right now, if Jesus has received any funds, he
hasn't had a chance to tell me about it. So PLEASE TELL ME if you are
one of the noble few to donate to the LOUDNESS FUND!

ANYONE who has at least $25 or more to spare, PLEASE send it to the
Foundation at PO Box 204206 Austin TX 78720. OR, you can use PayPal to
send your donation to Jesus@subgenius.com. OR, if you prefer, call the
Foundation HQ *toll free* at (888) 669-2323 and make a donation over
the phone with your credit card. You can even leave a message on the
Sacred Voice Mail if you reach 'em after hours!

And please write the words "LOUDNESS FUND" on the memo line of the
check, or on the front of the envelope, or in the subject of your
PayPal e-mail, or just mention this donation is for the Loudness Fund
when you call. This will make sure that your donation goes fully
towards renting sound gear.

Donate now, or forever hear... nothing.

Her Ladyship Lilith

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\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/

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From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

A quickie update--we just got our SECOND $25 pledge, courtesy of Rev.
Chuck Roast! PRAISE CHUCK!!! Thanks in part to his generosity, we'll be
LOUD yet, ya damn betcha!

But this raises a quandry--so far, we've only seen donations from a
Scotsman and a Canadian. WHERE ARE THE AMERICAN DONATIONS?!? WHERE IS
OUR PRIDE? Are the SubGeniuses of the richest country in the world
going to be sheepish of wallet in our time of need?!?

Friends, let's be blunt about this. Both Osama bin Ladin AND John
Ashcroft want us to have a QUIET X-Day.

Dubya wants us to have a quiet X-Day.

Sadaam Hussein wants us to have a quiet X-Day.

Ariel Sharon and Yassir Arafat want us to have a quiet X-Day.

The $cientologists, the Roman Catholics, the Southern Baptists ALL want
us to have a quiet X-Day.

LEGUME wants us to have a quiet X-Day.

BUT I KNOW *YOU* DON'T WANT A QUIET X-DAY! I know YOU not only want,
but expect--nay, DEMAND, a LOUD X-DAY!!! And it SHALL BE LOUD--but ONLY
if you, and I do mean YOU, sirma'am, put aside a mere piddling $25 and
donate to the LOUDNESS FUND, posthaste and with minimal delay!

Get of th' stick and ON TH' DAMN PHONE! Call TOLL FREE, 1-888-669-2323,
or PayPal jesus @ subgenius.com, or mail PO BOX 204206
AUSTIN, TX 78720-4206
and GIVE TO THE LOUDNESS FUND, BEFORE IT'S TOO DAMN LATE!!!

And PLEASE let me know if you DO! Until Jesus gets resettled in Austin,
that is the only way I can be sure to sing your praises and rig the
Luck Plane for you! Praise "Bob", hail Connie, and YAY YOU!

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Eh?? What's that? Cain't hear ya. Must be gettin' deef.

LOUDER! *LOUDER*! MAKE MORE NOISE!

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