iDRMRSR's XDV Report

From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Jul 7, 2002 11:58 PM

Been there, done that! An excellent experience. Was there until Friday
evening's showing of Inframan (fine flick) after which I departed.
Loved the wedding of Her Ladyship(s). Almost cried when the saucers
failed to arrive once again. Most excellent Sloppy Joe's I have ever
eaten!

As this counted as sort of a vacation for me, I ducked out of XDV long
enough on one occasion to get into Erie to see MIB-II and some much
needed gas for less than $1.49 a gallon (heh, scored $1.31 near Presque
Isle). Also to feed a latter day habit of collecting miniature
lighthouses (go figure?)...two or three in the Erie area are for sale
here and there.

Saturday, I departed for Sayre, PA, 200 miles east of Sherwood, and to
see the Corning Glass Museum (to buy more crap I don't need, but
shiny). Sayre is where an ancestor of mine landed after having been
cast out of Poland, and I'd always been curious as to "why Sayre?".

It's a little armpit of a PA town built around a train station that
closed long ago. Half the town is on one side of the tracks, the other
half on the other. The lesser half possessed this heavenly garlic smell
emanating from an olde restaurant, which turned out to be a memorable
Italian meal like I wish I could find here in Cleveland sometimes.
Crowded place, but deservedly so.

On my way out, I got a little lost, and noticed streets were cordoned
off. They were having the area's hugest fireworks display. I got a
primo parking spot near ground zero, but had to endure two hours of Born
in the USA playing in a tent while I waited for darkness. The fireworks
were like one of those orgasms you wish you had had at least once in
your life.

The place was a mob scene trying to leave. I got out ahead of
everybody, but got hideously lost. Sayre is on the NY/PA border, and
the routes change numbers as you cross back and forth across the state
lines. Somewhere along the line, the luck plane took a big dip.

I almost got ruptured from this planet, all right. Don't know what it
was, my age, the magic of the evening, or a sign of impending
Alzheimer's, but in being lost, I came off this exit ramp into a busy
intersection without bothering to stop. In that moment, I saw Bob, and
soon thereafter, gumball machine lights and badged fellows in blue
uniforms.

Well, no flesh was mauled, just metal, and mostly mine. I expect the
insurance company to hook me up to the old NIPPLE MILL for a while until
they have extracted their revenge. However, a slightly different
velocity and approach angle, and I would be singing with the chorus
invisible. Pra'Bob, and Pra'Chevrolet, for building tough vehicles that
even an asshole can't get seriously hurt in.

Stang had car problems on the way UP to XDV. I've come to the distinct
conclusion that the CAR is the weapon of choice for the conspiracy. You
have to have them, like a drug, and must have insurance, too, and they
are designed to do nothing but eventually collide with each other, which
reduces your Slack and makes the CON even richer as they sell repair
services, and increase premiums.

In a true SubGenius utopia, all stimulation AND nourishment would be
delivered ONLINE so that you would never need to travel anywhere. And
the saucers would arrange to pick you up wherever you WERE. And the
Arabs would starve and drown in their own insolvent oil.

Eh, well, excuse me, but I have to do my DEEP BENDING exercises here to
prepare for the gathering of estimates, dialing of 800 numbers, and
paying higher premiums. And that's taken the SHINE off the weekend.

[*]
-----
PS greetz to Two Beans. The Chippendale!

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From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)

idrmrsr wrote:

>Stang had car problems on the way UP to XDV. I've come to the distinct
>conclusion that the CAR is the weapon of choice for the conspiracy. You
>have to have them, like a drug, and must have insurance, too, and they
>are designed to do nothing but eventually collide with each other, which
>reduces your Slack and makes the CON even richer as they sell repair
>services, and increase premiums.

Yes, yes, yes! I didn't have any car problems (other than that I forgot the
leak at the TOP of the gastank, and filled up to the very TOP in Sherman,
insuring one night's worth of gas fumes). And still I think cars are the most
effective Slack-suckers around.

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From: md_archangel@hotmail.com (mykal d'archangel)

On Sun, 07 Jul 2002 23:58:34 -0400, iDRMRSR
<idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:

>invisible. Pra'Bob, and Pra'Chevrolet, for building tough vehicles that
>even an asshole can't get seriously hurt in.
>
>Stang had car problems on the way UP to XDV. I've come to the distinct
>conclusion that the CAR is the weapon of choice for the conspiracy.

Crikey!

We had tire troubles which set back the Quijibo Cartel about 14
hours from our intended Brushwood ETA, but DANG - I'm glad you're
ok.

-------------------
http://www.indyvival.com

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From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP)

In article <3d2a03a5.24031791@news.in.comcast.giganews.com>,
mykal d'archangel <Yer Mom> wrote:
>
>We had tire troubles which set back the Quijibo Cartel about 14
>hours from our intended Brushwood ETA, but DANG - I'm glad you're
>ok.

in the week before Xday I had to replace my car's alternator,
batery, battery cables, serpentine belt, and water pump.

SOMETHING was trying to stop me from going, that's for damned sure

--
-------
I have burped, farted, and sneezed at the same time, and I am still
alive. --Dan Povenmire, Los Angeles

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From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org>

"The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP" <prostata@bronze.coil.com> wrote
in message news:b4ffga.44q1.ln@news.concourse.com...
>
> in the week before Xday I had to replace my car's alternator,
> batery, battery cables, serpentine belt, and water pump.
>
> SOMETHING was trying to stop me from going, that's for damned sure

I sense a common theme. In the month before X-Day I put new tires, new brake
rotors, and a killer sound system in my car.

A week before I was to leave some Pink punk smashed the FUCK out of it and
catapulted me into a nightmare of insurance fuckupery that has no end in
sight. (True, I wasn't going to USE that car to travel, but I couldn't take
the time or spare the cash BECAUSE of the accident.)

Also, he injured my wife and daughter (lightly, Praise "Bob") and must
surely pay.

St. Marc

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Two Beans" <twobeans@godhatesyou.com>

"iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:837480760317F755.4CE156C8CA08A852.460636179B882F1E@lp.airnews.net...

> PS greetz to Two Beans. The Chippendale!
>

I was hoping I would turn you on with that. Its nice to have an excuse like
the Flesh Auction so I can dance just for you.

I would have taken you back to my tent that night, but you had to sleep in
that hotel room. Your need for reliable shelter and quiet nighttime cost you
a private dancer.

I hope you learn a lesson from this.

-2B

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Original file name: iDRMRSRsXDVReport.txt - converted on Tuesday, 16 July 2002, 14:21