Open letter to Iceknife and Stang...

From: "Rev.^3 Cda Aah" <cdaaah@bellsouth.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Apr 30, 2001 3:36 AM

...and konig, and mary, and the other great Slaves-to-Slack that i've
met along the way.
after much heated excremeditation, i've decided to enter ElWood mental
asylum (on my
own terms) in order to persue a doctorate degree in convincing people
i'm sane. your advice to me when i was a mere lad of seventeen helped
immensly, as soon as i understood it, i accidentally stepped in a big
pile of adumpt, and have ever since been trying to wash it
off of my shoes. specifically: stang, thank you for your ancestors,
whoever they may be,
they taught you to build a very impressive origami box. iceknife, i
know you can hear me, up there in (respectively) jew and indian heaven,
thanks for teaching me the proper application of cutlery. mary, thank
you for being a woman in every sense of the word, but
ben franklin is no more a god than he is the inventor of his namesake
witticisms and tinker toys. konig, thanks for teaching me the
importance of racist jokes and trenchcoats; you're
absolutely correct when you told me that nowadays people aren't
classified by their color,
sex, or sexual preference---rather, by what joke best offends them.

i'd thank all of you, but you'd have trouble figuring out what i meant.
so long friends, say
goodbye to the human metaphor, let me have a quick and easy death. if
you absolutly, desperately want more riddles disguised as suicide notes,
you'll have to email me by way of sanrio. oh "Bob"! my time in the sun
is over! good day, sweet "Bob"! sadly i could not wait for your
pleasure ships. come closer, "Bob" so i can whisper my goodbye in your
ear...

<BANG!>

SINcerely,

Rev^3 S.C.

----
"Behold the POWER of th' 'Bot, what a noble creature, or so the
egyptians tell me"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: an open letter to iceknife and stang...
From: Hulkturds@crappagammabrick.ouch (HellPope Huey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Apr 30, 2001 3:25 PM
Message-ID: <Hulkturds-3004011325330001@pool-209-128-155-45.hs.ipa.net>

In article <3AED1605.D0583078@bellsouth.net>, cdaaah@bellsouth.net wrote:

icey, you brute bastard, you've killed another one.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Talkin' 'bout my half-deaf g-g-g-generation,
WHAT, WHAT??

"Cats are nocturnal creatures.
So are coyotes, feral dogs and devil worshipers."
- 'Malcolm In The Middle'

"I've got balls older than that."
- Bob Hope, to a pretty Desert Classic woman
who told him she was 24

"What do you think?"
"I'm nowhere near being able to answer that question."
-'The West Wing'
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: RE: an open letter to iceknife and stang...
From: "The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel" <walker555@MailAndNews.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Apr 30, 2001 3:32 PM
Message-ID: <3B0F5FB5@MailAndNews.com>

Lastest word from the Special Commitment Center at ccdaaah@bellsouth.net:

>goodbye to the human metaphor, let me have a quick and easy death. if
>you absolutly, desperately want more riddles disguised as suicide notes,
>you'll have to email me by way of sanrio. oh "Bob"! my time in the sun
>is over! good day, sweet "Bob"! sadly i could not wait for your
>pleasure ships. come closer, "Bob" so i can whisper my goodbye in your
>ear...
>
>
><BANG!>

*Looks around guiltily*

*Hums the theme from "MASH"*
(Off-key of course...)

...IF I CHOOSE!

--C.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: an open letter to iceknife and stang...
From: bear@pole.com (polar bear)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Apr 30, 2001 6:33 PM
Message-ID: <bear-ya02408000R3004011533300001@news.direct.ca>

>
Quick, grab his Nikes!

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Original file name: Open letter to iceknife and - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:31