Brushwood Survival Tips

From: Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Jun 10, 2001 8:44 PM
pic by IMBJR>

Little Fyodor said, "I didn't think it would be so COLD!" He came to
Brushwood for the first time in 1999, when we had freak weather
(including tornadoes and earthquakes) and the temperature didn't drop
below 60-65 degrees, even at night. But he found out last year that
this was the exception and not the norm. So remember, boys and girls,
when you go into the big bad wilderness at Brushwood for the End of
the World, you should come PREPARED. The place has running water, hot
showers, and plumbing, so that's good. But still, there are a couple
of things to be aware of:

It can get cold at night, so be prepared to dress warm. Bring a
blanket or sleeping bag. Bring at least one sweatshirt, sweat pants,
a decent jacket, and/or a sweater. When it gets cold at night, you
can wear these over or under your clothes, and you will be ready for
the cold. Also remember that the dew gets very thick, and your shoes
will get wet from it.

Having non-perishable, ready-to-eat food is a blessing, especially
early in the morning after you've woken up and don't want to bother
cooking. Sister Decadence will testify that Pop-Tarts are among the
most Slackful things one can have at Brushwood: just rip open a
package, and it'll tide you over until it's time for a hot meal.

This one may not apply, because the World As We Know It will END at
7:00 AM on the morning of July 5th. But I should mention that in
1999, I stayed up for the usual Saturday all night party, and on
Sunday afternoon I left to drive the ten-hours, 500 mile trip home, by
myself, after being awake for nearly 24 hours. I made it home safely,
but it was one of the most harrowing experiences of my life and I do
not recommend it to anyone. So I played it safe in 2000: I stayed an
extra night and got some SLEEP. Don't leave on Sunday! Take an extra
day, sleep on Sunday night, and go home on Monday. Your chances of
making it home ALIVE will improve by about one thousand percent.

Other essential items: a FLASHLIGHT, an UMBRELLA, and SUNSCREEN.

--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/
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Subject: Re: Brushwood Survival Tips
From: andreux@jehovahatesphred.com (saint andreux)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Jun 11, 2001 9:00 AM
Message-ID: <Qh3V6.17417$tb6.4947844@typhoon.austin.rr.com>

For some reason, modemac@modemac.com wrote:
>
>It can get cold at night, so be prepared to dress warm. Bring a
>blanket or sleeping bag. Bring at least one sweatshirt, sweat pants,
>a decent jacket, and/or a sweater. When it gets cold at night, you
>can wear these over or under your clothes, and you will be ready for
>the cold. Also remember that the dew gets very thick, and your shoes
>will get wet from it.

As a four-year vet of Brushwood, let me say that
the dew problem is EASILY solved if you purchase
some kind of sturdy sandal. Sandals will dry in an
hour of sunlight as opposed to a pair of soaked
tennis shoes. Flip flops, while nice, won't supply
you with the support you'll need if you do any
degree of walking around the camp, though. Be sure
to get something that you will feel comfortable in.

>Other essential items: a FLASHLIGHT, an UMBRELLA, and SUNSCREEN.

MUCH AGREED.

Add to this:

33+ gallon garbage bag. This can be made
at a moment's notice into a fine waterproof
shirt if it rains.

IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT:

After two times of having the soil of Brushwood
soak every bit of heat out of my body, I broke
down and got an air mattress. These $30 items
are HEAVEN-SENT... WELL worth the money. The
last two times that I've been there with an
air mattress, it's been a LOT better.

--
===================================================
saint andreux || andreux@jehovahatesphred.com
po'bucker backwoods faith chapel & taco stand, inc.
"would you like some possum on that there torta?"
===================================================
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Subject: Re: Brushwood Survival Tips
From: bear@pole.com (polar bear)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Jun 11, 2001 3:32 PM
Message-ID: <bear-ya02408000R1106011232050001@news.direct.ca>

Don't forget a length of stout rope for treeing your food supplies, and
whatever you do, don't be cooking bacon for breakfast! The woods are
crawling with black bears.

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Subject: Re: Brushwood Survival Tips
From: md_archangel@hotmail.com (mykal d'archangel)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: Yer Mom
Date: Mon, Jun 11, 2001 10:15 PM
Message-ID: <3b257ab2.2239813@news.onemain.com>

On Sun, 10 Jun 2001 20:44:02 -0400, Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>
wrote:

>Other essential items: a FLASHLIGHT, an UMBRELLA, and SUNSCREEN.

You're also going to want to find the *biggest* jar of olives
that you can. Drain the olive juice and replace it with *vodka*.
Set the jar outside of your tent at night.

It'll keep the bears away.

You think I'm kiddin'?

And chop sticks. Bring chop sticks.

st m d'a
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Subject: Re: Brushwood Survival Tips
From: Hulkturds@crappagammabrick.ouch (HellPope Huey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jun 12, 2001 1:17 AM
Message-ID: <Hulkturds-1106012317340001@208-135-242-145.dial-up.ipa.net>

No, folks, he's right. I tried gin last year and they still got me. Worse
yet, Legume kept dipping into it to beef up his aftershave. Use the vodka.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
A tale told by an idiot,
full of sound and fury,
signifying nothing...
...except maybe the core of *Everything*,
if the wind is right
and I have enuf NYQUIL in me, EIEIEIEI!!!
BACK, ye foul, errant Ego, BACK....~!

"..and sometimes,
even music cannot substitute for tears."
- Paul Simon, "Rhythm of the Saints"

"Since you have experience with children
who are aesthetically compromised..."
- "The Oblongs"

"What kind of weirdo
puts a pool table in the back yard?
That's just ASKING for lizards!"
- "Drew Carey"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Brushwood Survival Tips
From: Christopher Lee <clbundy@indy.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jun 12, 2001 1:23 AM
Message-ID: <3B25A761.46B21056@indy.net>

Folks, friends, don't worry about bacon. The Brushwood bears just want your
olives.

BACK TO 4XDay page

From: onan@slartibartfast.exocet-industries.cx (Onan Canobite)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Brushwood Survival Tips
Date: Tue, 12 Jun 2001 18:34:11 -0000

1. Wear the same clothes you always wear. No reason to get 'dressed up'
or 'dressed down' or look 'weird' for this event.

2. Stay as isolated as possible. Never trade e-mail addresses or phone
numbers with anybody - try not to talk to or meet anybody. Don't walk
around and introduce yourself, whatever you do.

3. Don't bring stuff to give other people, little presents that make fun
memories afterwards, like zines or tapes or CDs or stickers or t-shirts
or 'business' cards.

4. Look cool at all costs. Don't be funny or weird or queer.

5. Sit and wait for the 'show' to start.

6. It would be a mistake to videotape anything, and to send said
videotape to the SubGenius Foundation afterwards.

7. Fireworks and firearms welcome at Brushwood: bring lots of both.

8. Other people will clean up after you, so don't bother.

9. In short, just because you took time away from work/school/life and
spent no small amount of money and are around people you might get to
see only once a year and they're the finest SubGenii around... no need
to go out of your way to participate or 'make it happen.'

- O.

--
Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com> http://www.subgenius.com/
Call the Lemurian Toll Free Message Line 1-800-699-2466 xt 555-503-0127
Send $30 unto The SubGenius Foundation Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 USA
______________________

From ???@??? Fri Jan 01 00:00:00 1999

10. Don't even bother going, because no matter what you do to have fun,
someone will think you weren't having fun, and if you can't please everyone,
then what's the point?

11. Make constant references to that one time, back in the good old days,
that things were better or different. constantly bring up the crapping in
the hottub incident, as _everyone_ likes to talk about that constantly.

12. Go from camp to camp, getting free food and stuff and generally being a
mooch. hey, those people who prepared and are being nice? they're just
pinks who paid $30+camping fees, _you're_ the real subgenius.

13. When it's late, and those bunch of people are all hanging out around a
firepit, having fun, and you aren't, because you're tired, and you won't do
crystal meth, get real mad at those bastards.

14. When it's late, and you're having a bunch of fun, hanging out around a
firepit with people, and some people are trying to sleep, be as noisy as
possible, because, well, screw them.

15. See that hot-chyck, over there? she went to xday, JUST to meet YOU!
she's just shy, is the reason she constantly leaves when you come around.
if i were a betting man, i'd lay money down ont he table that she would
REALLY appreciate it if you went in her tent and cleaned things up and
fluffled her pillows and were waiting there to massage her feet.

16. if you have an idea, to do something fun, and noone wants to do it,
it's not because it's an unfun idea, and you're stupid, and should die, it's
because those people hate you. push their car into the cesspool island
thing with the leeches.

17. people love to buy things for you, you are a god, no, you are THE god.
don't say thanks, say that their food and beverages and stuff suck, and then
spit it back at them, and laugh at them.

18. if someone else does something nine times, you do it nine times too.
PROVE you are as cool as they are.

--
"There are always pools of blood in the shadows"
- Serial Experiments Lain

---------------------------------------

From: Hulkturds@crappagammabrick.ouch (HellPope Huey)

10. Bring me AND GGG food and frop. If I'm gonna do the Forbidden Dance of
Love onstage in a leopard skin thong when its cold at night, I goddamned
well want tribute.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
I will not be a snickerpuss....well, maybe

"Society is not a Disease....it is a Disaster."
- E. M. Cioran

"Ye be a meacock clinchpoop," said McTavish,
an orgulous peterman, to MacFarlane, a molestful
poop-noddy, whose pudendous interest in the pub
owner's assestrix he felt was fucatory (at least
compared to his own concern for the comely bellibone),
and well worth a tongue-bang, "and a shittle juggins
to boot, ye are!"
- Saint Nu-Monet

"I've seen better character development on 'The Match Game'!"
- Colin Mochrie

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Original file name: Brushwood Survival Tips - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:31