My Mini XDay Report

From: Saint Bucky <saint.bucky@gmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Jul 6, 2009 7:32 PM

Where to start... how about a the beginning. For almost a whole week
i'd been bugging hte wife to let me go to XDay, but to no avail.
Saturday morning around ten she finally caved.

Ten or so minutes later i was on the highway. Brushwood bound.

The ride to the border was plagued by traffic. Somehow, i managed to
get there in record time. After stopping by the duty free and getting
a two-four of Canadian Beer and some change for the tolls, i
experienced a genuine XDay miracle; for the first time in my life i
had absolutely no line-up at the USA border. None. I just drove up to
the booth, handed the guy my ID, and (after some discussion on why i
still don't have a passport, even though it's the LAW now) headed on
into the great ole You Ess of Eh.

The trip was great, I got off the interstate a few exits early to get
a Coke and use the bathroom, and after getting a free map from the
lady in the tollbooth, decided to take the back roads in. I took 20,
which follows the lake shore, but on the southern side of the
interstate. Nice drive.

I got to Brushwood at exactly 2:45, and there was something going on
at registration that didn't quite look right. I assumed that i was
still in the right place, though, and after paying, headed on down to
the main stage. I pulled up right next to Mistar Sistar, who i
probably haven't talked to in person since the "Night of the Living
"Bob"" devival years ago, and got some good tips on alternate routes
to take back home. I was still sipping my Coke at the time.

This is where it all gets interesting, i had an ultimatum to make this
XDay as inexpensive as possible, and had realised on the drive down
that i might have to try and make a _deal_ with "Bob". Here's the
explanation, as i see it: Every year i come down to XDay, a week-long
event including days and days of camping, drinking, and interesting
people. This year was different, though. I only had until midnight to
enjoy as much as i could before i had to head back home. Did i still
have to pay for a whole XDay if i was only going to be there for the
evening? I asked the guy with the cash box, and he didn't know. So i
asked Pisces, and she thought of asking Wei (Stang was on the stage,
doing something with Hal and Dave). Could a deal be struck? No one
seemed to know.

While waiting for Stang to have a free minute, i went back to the car,
cracked open a beer from the trunk,and started socialising. It was
like i'd never left, The Senator came and started talking, as did Rev
Brainleak, and The Right Reverend never-going-to-get-laid-because-i-
can't-stop-talking-about-it. Damned if i can remember that guy's
actual (fake) name, but he's a real hoot to hang out with. Hours and
hours of discussions on how to get laid, all day, every day. You'd
think that at XDay, he's just get a goddamned bullhorn and go around
asking as loud as he could for someone to just fuck him. It would
probably work.

Went for a walk, bumped in to Ennie and V. Turns out that i'd missed
the best Pancakes for "Bob" ever, but you can't win 'em all. At least
i didn't have to camp in the rain all week. I'm pretty sure missing
the pancakes was worth missing the rain. They provided me with the
important information i'd been looking for: where the hell everyone
was camped. You see, every year the cool kids all camp near the road
directly across from the four-flushers. This year i'd noticed tents
there, but not, you know, cool-ass campsites with freaky shit hanging
from the trees and stuff. Surely this was the wrong place to look for
SubGenii. They were, apparently camped on high ground. The North
Pavillion. A part of Brushwood that i don't think ever been to (or at
least not while sober). I think the hash-house harriers used it once
for some kind of freaky 80's-music themed party one year, but i might
be wrong.

Now that i had a destination, i immediately went and got side-tracked.
Still having not paid Stang, i wandered back over to the poolhouse and
caught him in a brief moment of not-busy. Apparently he had THOUSANDS
OF DOLLARS already and my money could be put to better use in getting
Lonesome Cowboy Dave gas. So i dug around in my pocket and split my
money into two piles, money for a hamburger, and money for LCD. Dave
got his money, i got my burger, and XDay was truly underway. I now had
no cash, but plenty of beer... and it was getting dark.

To be continued...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: My Mini XDay Report
From: Saint Bucky <saint.bucky@gmail.com>

Carrying on, then... I managed to find the north pavilion, where
Pantiara was handing out bubble wands. Dok Frop ended up with one,
which resulted in my ass having bubbles going _into_ it for a few
minutes. A refreshing change. Also there was a bunch of the FEDCOMS
guys, and the Volkerdings, Leonard the committed, and Eggplant. There
were more people there, but you'll forgive me for not mentioning
everyone, I had already had a few beers by then.

Having left my car down by the pool with my beer in it, i decided to
go get it, and more beer. In doing so, i met up with Scotty from the
Amino's and invited myself over to their camp for a few beers. Those
Rock City boys sure do like Canadian beer, let me tell you. I soon
realised that, with a bit of fiddling, i could get my iPod to play. So
now we had music, could take requests, and otherwise life was better.
Actually it was great, i got to hang out and shoot the shit and listen
to good music and watch a fire. If the saucers had showed up right
then and there, i would have considered the whole endeavour a total
success.

After a few more beers, i decided to go see if i could find 808.
Literally a hundred feet into looking for him (while walking towards
his camp) i found him. Actually he found me, as he was walking behind
me, also bound for his camp. He had some sangria, so i'll apologise in
advance if he rest of this story is missing big bits. Before i'd even
managed to take in that 808 was there, Dr Agon Fly showed up! This guy
hitchhiked well over 2000 miles to get to XDay, and was one of the
reasons i could justify the three hour drive to get my own ass there.
We all set off, and started a fire with some other people whose names
the sangria has completely obscured. That was fun for a while, but
eventually i had to head back to the Aminos' camp to get more beer.
Little did i realise that the bands were now starting up, so i ended
up at the stage instead.

The shows were great, though i didn't get too close. I watched from
the side of the stage, not even under the roof. I don't think I've
ever done that, but i now understand that you can achieve the perfect
volume from over there. That is to say that you can still clearly hear
the music and still converse without having to shout at people. I'm
going to cheat and say that at this point i'd met and talked with
everyone that i was going to meet, so thanks to everyone who caught up
with me. Up next was the big Ikon Burning, and apparently i was even
drunker by then, because aside from remembering that there was a fire,
it's all a bit of a blank. There were probably tits, but when you've
seen as many as i have, you don't remember the specifics. Based
entirely on past experience, i can assume they were fantastic. I also
have a vague recollection of dancing around the fire, though i can't
have done that for long, or i'm sure i'd have puked. Since i didn't
puke, i'm assuming the dancing was brief.

The next few hours are a blur; I went back to the car, got more beer,
talked some more...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: My Mini XDay Report
From: Saint Bucky <saint.bucky@gmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Jul 6, 2009 11:09 PM
Message-ID: <7fb68874-1550-4884-b01e-4cda821585b6@37g2000yqp.googlegroups.com>

On Jul 6, 10:15 pm, "Popess Pantiara Evokovitch, BAYBEE!"
<panti...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> And you lived happily ever after.

Safe in the knowledge that i can still talk a woman out of at least
some of her clothes. At least it was for a good cause. I'm sure the
rest of the people around that fire will get around to thanking me,
later.

Actually, i doubt it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: My Mini XDay Report
From: Saint Bucky <saint.bucky@gmail.com>

On Jul 6, 9:11 pm, Saint Bucky <saint.bu...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > To be continued...
>
> The next few hours are a blur; I went back to the car, got more beer,
> talked some more...

And the next time i asked the time, i was told that it was 3:45. This
normally wouldn't have been a big deal, but i had planned to head home
around midnight. I also had planned to be at least halfway sober by
the time i left. Here's the cool part; i managed to still make a clear
headed _good_ decision while completely shitfaced drunk. I decided to
try sobering up by hitting the pool, and if that didn't work, i'd just
crash in my car and sleep it off. Well, after hitting the pool and
realising that i was, in fact, far too drunk to drive, i decided to
make the best of it and go to the 7am ceremony.

I've never been to one of these, and after all the XDays i've been to,
i guess it was about time. I'd always looked at the pictures and said
"haha, what a bunch of suckers". Well, now it was my turn. I got there
at 6. This allowed me to see everyone as they showed up. Not a good
idea. Most of you get to realise how utterly horrible looking you are
when you get back home and see the pictures. Everyone else sees that
*live* as it happens. It's like the worst circus you've ever been to.

So anyways, i got to witness the rupture (or lack thereof) first hand,
and then head home. The drive back was even better than the drive
there, but and there is a good story to tell about it:

I stopped in Sherman to get money and smokes. Bank machine in Sherman
has taken my Canadian Bank Cards for years now, and apparently still
do. I got money and smokes, and hit the road. Just before i got to the
interstate (i took the long way, so this is maybe an hour later
(beautiful drive)), i figure out that it's probably my last chance to
get some of your delicious cheap american gas before i get home. I'm
not about to stop in Buffalo and get my ass raped looking for a gas
station. I stop in Barcelona.

Here's Barcelona: http://tinyurl.com/m7srol

Get to the pump at the Citgo in Barcelona, and put in Canadian Bank
Card. The little screen pops back at me with a question; "Debit Card
Yes/No?". I press Yes. Nothing happens, "Debit Card Yes/No?". Atfer a
few more pushes on the "Yes" button, i try talking to the machine.
Then yelling. While pushing. Nothing. I decide to just go in to the
store and ask if they can let me pre-pay with it. They can't, but they
have an ATM machine... with a big "Out of order" sign hanging on it.

Do they know where the nearest gas station is? Sure, it's just down
the street towards Westfield, but the guy that's running it is
retiring, and doesn't have any gas. I explain that i need one with
Gas. No idea.

Thankfully, though i'm hours away from home and in a foreign country,
i know my geography, and Westfield in particular. I've stopped in
there several times for groceries on the way to XDay, and had actually
been there just the day before and got a Coke. Off to Westfield i go.
Find the gas station right where i left it, and pull up out front.
It's got an ATM, which also doesn't work. Try to prepay... "What pump
are you on?" I'm not at a pump, i just pulled up to use the ATM. So i
go park next to pump #4. Back inside. The lady with my card is now
helping someone else, so i get in line. Card doesn't work. Maybe it's
just old? We try wrapping it in a plastic bag, nothing. A post-it
note? Nothing. Receipt paper? Nope. Nearest bank? Right next door.

The bank next door has one of those doors that doesn't work unless you
put your card in it, and that goddamned thing took four tries to open.
All to get to a bank machine that didn't take the card. Back to the
gas station. "Second nearest bank?" Well, it's right next to the other
one. Duh. Exact same set-up as the last bank, with the same stupid
thing that won't let you in without your card. Six tries later, i'm
in. Canadian Bank Card works for a change, and we're all set. Back to
the gas station, pre-pay for delicious american gasoline, and i'm off.

Back across the border with no issues, and i'm home in time for lunch.
No unpacking, no drying out all my wet gear, no bullshit.

Considering that this might be my last XDay, it was a good one. No
drama, good friends, good booze, good times.

Thanks, everyone.