From: "Rev. Anna Dynamite" <anna.mckibben@gmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jul 7, 2009 11:36 AM
Hit me with all the juicy gossip and drama and oily
hookups from X-Day
XII. Play by play, blowjob by blowjob. Gory details.
GIMME.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Wraith <viator1@yahoo.com>
We can't do that as there are no pictures at X-Day.
Just ask Sifu. He'll tell you all about it as he is
recovering from
the brutal Brushwood disciple for daring to break that
rule.
Or BIOU. She knows too.
"Crazy" Rev. Jim Jones
found out that if you just sit at Doc Frop's camp and
don't talk,
eventually you just sortof fade into the background
and it becomes
almost like a really good TV show. Especially if you
bring your own
booze and 'frop.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: IMBJR <imbjr@cloon.fucker>
I had marmalade on toast that day.
--------------------
http://www.imbjr.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Popess Pantiara Evokovitch, BAYBEE!" <pantiara@gmail.com>
Uhhhh....
The only reason I haven't made my own report is because
I can't
remember most of what happened, or I wasn't in the midst
of anything
crazy. Except allison getting her ass handed to her
for being a bitch.
That was fun. I was mostly sitting aboot a campfire
talking to Tom
Sane or Teeters LaVerge. It rained and was extremely
cold from
wednesday to friday morning. Two guys challenged each
other to eat
oreos stuffed with about 100 oreo fillings. Biou's friday
fairy tales
about no one in particular were read onstage. Susie
whipped a picture
of Doc Fartian into submission. There was hot tubbing,
and the tub was
fairly groaty. Susie got all teary eyed at the pot luck
cause it's so
much like a thanksgiving dinner. (There was a huge dutch
oven pot full
of pounds of pasta... mmm) A frenzy of bobtisms... someone
nearly died
from intoxication... mafia wars petered out... best
amino acids show
I've seen... that's all I know. Oh yeah, and Tom Sane
spanked me to
raise money for magdalene and/or teh church. Raised
like $66 bucks. It
hurt more than I expected. Eggplant won my panties at
the auction and
wore them on his head for the rest of the day.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Popess Pantiara Evokovitch, BAYBEE!" <pantiara@gmail.com>
Oh and how could I forget, allison's nekkid drunk friend
that danced
the night away and got on stage a few times. And cyclohexane
dancing
for hours around the fire without somehow bursting into
flames from
the heat. And BOB showed up! A giant cardboard face
of "Bob" attached
to legs and hands danced around the campfire and showed
up to sneak
past the Doc Frop/Sexmortus camp. Many tried to kill
him. Many failed.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: heathen <aheathen@embarqmail.com>
please elaborate on allison getting her ass handed to
her? by who?for
what?
i missed that
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Popess Pantiara Evokovitch, BAYBEE!" <pantiara@gmail.com>
Ok, here's the scoop, poop. Anyone who partook directly
in this is
welcome to correct me.
Allison noticed sifu pointing his camera in her general
direction, and
demanded he not take pictures of her, even though he
wasn't, and there
were plenty of pics of her nekkid already circling the
internet from
last x day. Sifu said something along the lines of "I
don't want
pictures of you anyway" or something like that.
I believe some sort of
verbal fight took place, and Stang began to record it
to piss off
allison even more. She put her hand on Stang's camera
lens and smudged
it. Oh, it's ON now! Stang got real pissed and told
her to go fuck
herself. She got all upset, and I'm pretty sure her
ass is banned.
That incident alone probably wasn't enough to get her
banned, but she
had been a total bitch the whole time. She threatened
some of the new
girls for no apparent reason and was just generally
all around
obnoxious as usual. I've heard her described as this
year's
chickenhed. I can't help but wonder now if this was
some kind of evil
plan by Legume. Put her up on a pedestal, treat her
like the coolest
fuck around, inflate her already inflated sense of self
worth so she
thinks no one can touch her cause she's with Legume,
then sit back and
watch as she has her bubble popped and ass handed to
her with a
pitchfork. I doubt Legume is that organized.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Anna Dynamite" <anna.mckibben@gmail.com>
Oh boy. She struck me last year as one of those girls
who would be
better suited for a frat party. I suppose "attention
whore" would be
the phrase I'm looking for here. That sucks that she
was threatening
some of the new people; I hope it doesn't put them off
from coming
back in the future.
Legume may be somewhat organized, and he may be cruel,
but I don't
know if he'd do that. I get the feeling he just tolerates
her. May be
wrong on that, though. I really can't tell; I think
I did a lot of
polite nodding last year because I wasn't sure if people
actually
liked her or what. I wanted to cunt punt her a couple
of times just
for being so damn annoying, but I also didn't want to
get people up in
arms.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Wraith <viator1@yahoo.com>
"Cunt punt"?
I have never heard that before.
I like it.
TY
CRJJ
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Popess Pantiara Evokovitch, BAYBEE!" <pantiara@gmail.com>
I felt the same way last year, I was just waiting for
her to fuck up.
Great T&A alone can only get people to tolerate
you for so long.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Anna Dynamite" <anna.mckibben@gmail.com>
My opinion is that great T&A should be accompanied by silence.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: The Sicker Vicar <Convery.Kevin@gmail.com>
You'd be surprised how many men feel the same way.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Anna Dynamite" <anna.mckibben@gmail.com>
I don't think I would, to be honest. I was under the
assumption that
all men felt that way...?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: The Sicker Vicar <Convery.Kevin@gmail.com>
Not me. I like 'em LOUD.
But yeah, you're mostly right.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Zapanaz <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl?foo=@mindspring.com>
Personally I've always thought the ideal was a woman
who I had a great
rapport with who had great T&A at the same time.
Unfortunately since such a creature is apparently as
mythical as the
legendary Jackalope, I guess I would settle for silence,
at least over
somebody so annoying that she made me want to cunt-punt
her after an
hour.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Godwin was a NAZI
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Lloyd Daddy <agentlloyd@gmail.com>
On Jul 7, 1:46 pm, "Rev. Anna Dynamite" <anna.mckib...@gmail.com>
wrote:
>
> I don't think I would, to be honest. I was under
the assumption that
> all men felt that way...?
Some are very silky, apparently.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Susie the Floozie" <revsusiethefloozie@gmail.com>
I MUST make a note to savor that distinctive silkiness
next time I'm
in proximity to you, Agent. It seemed an impropriety
at the time,
since we were engaged in running through the darkness
on whatever
hellbent missions we were carrying out--but hey, that's
the beauty and
wonder of the Flooze. I don't need to know things--I
can get my kicks
and STILL keep that sweet plausible deniability.
But I still want to feel that silkiness myself next
time, before
everyone else wears the fluff off.
Codeword: pantairp! (Sounds like a legitimate SubGenius typo.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Bunny day <k.revitte@gmail.com>
you really have to susie,
last night just after i got home a Hot Girl i know happened
to stop by
(she is full of slack) during her barefoot chicago-wanderings
and
wanted to crash so we made my apartment into a campsite
and i told her
campfire stories and since she is a true lover of balls
i told her
about the firefighter with the silky balls and she drifted
off to
sleep licking her lips. it was so cute.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Back It On Up 13" <evielust@aol.com>
> Legume may be somewhat organized, and he may be
cruel, but I don't
> know if he'd do that. I get the feeling he just
tolerates her.
Oh, I don't know. Let's not forget that she is a "holocaustal
wet
dream on a big red scooter, and none of us will ever
catch her" praise
"Bob".
I was so busy being out-sexied by her that I forgot
my manners this
year. Next year, no further outbursts.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Anna Dynamite" <anna.mckibben@gmail.com>
On Jul 7, 1:08 pm, "Rev. Back It On Up 13" <eviel...@aol.com> wrote:
> Oh, I don't know. Let's not forget that she is
a "holocaustal wet
> dream on a big red scooter, and none of us will
ever catch her" praise
> "Bob".
Woo-hoo. *spins finger in air* I'm starting my own offshoot,
away from
the Holocaustals and the Ivangelicals. The Anna-Baptists:
Who Gives A
Fuck? Just Get Me To The Saucers On Time, Okay?
> I was so busy being out-sexied by her that I forgot
my manners this
> year. Next year, no further outbursts.
Shenanigans. I demand more outbursts, big raging ones
full of fire and
brimstone, little ones tinged with spite and malice,
and medium-sized
ones where you get little flecks of spittle at the corners
of your
mouth, but you don't actually spit when you're outbursting.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Susie the Floozie" <revsusiethefloozie@gmail.com>
Whoa. *Whoooooa*. WHOOOOOOAAAAAAA. **WWWWHHHHHOOOOAAAA!!!!!!**
I AM AN ANNA-BAPTIST!!! I'm on my knees to you already.
Count me the
FUCKIN' FUCK IN!!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
On Jul 7, 2:19 pm, "Rev. Anna Dynamite" <anna.mckib...@gmail.com>
wrote:
>
> Woo-hoo. *spins finger in air* I'm starting my
own offshoot, away from
> the Holocaustals and the Ivangelicals.
From what I can tell, there are a total of 4 Holocaustals
and one
Ivangelical, that one being me. And all I do at wars
is videotape
them.
The gang war actually turned out to be about a dozen
mostly young half-
dressed individuals squirting randomly at each other
and flinging mud.
It was no Battle of Armageddon but it was FUNNY AS HELL
in its supreme
spazzfullness and it's a shame not more people saw it.
I hope that
young gal that came with Rev. Spike Jones doesn't mind
her nakedity
being shown on SubSITE.
P.S. Into one of the squirt guns, Dr. Hal slipped the
Yellow Jacket
Wasp Attractant. Into one of the others, I inserted
some Yellow Jacket
Wasp Repellent.
>
> Shenanigans. I demand more outbursts, big raging
ones full of fire and
> brimstone, little ones tinged with spite and malice,
and medium-sized
> ones where you get little flecks of spittle at
the corners of your
> mouth, but you don't actually spit when you're
outbursting.
There were a couple of those but only one got filmed,
as far as I
know. But I am still in the memory-dredging process.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: RevNickie <revnickie@gmail.com>
On Jul 7, 2:08 pm, "Rev. Back It On Up 13" <eviel...@aol.com> wrote:
> Oh, I don't know. Let's not forget that she is
a "holocaustal wet
> dream on a big red scooter, and none of us will
ever catch her" praise
> "Bob".
With "really good ears." Lest ye forget.
-RevNickie
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Back It On Up 13" <evielust@aol.com>
Such good ears that she could hear me loudly mocking
her from almost
four feet away!
But terrible eyesight, because she only saw ONE out
of about THIRTY
cameras being used right in her immediate vicinity.
I'm just kidding about all this of course. She's a
gem. One in a
million, can't wait to hang with her some day.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: RastaBillyBob <rastabillybob@gmail.com>
So, hanging is the next thing? I'll have to think long
and hard about
this one...(thinking,"long" and "hard")...nope;
I don't want to watch.
Hang yourself, out of my sight. Allison, great T&A,
nekkid pix already
on interwebs? Tell me more.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: RastaBillyBob <rastabillybob@gmail.com>
Found this; not very nekkid, but it's a start;
http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/11XDay/11X-Day_Photos/3_Rev_Steve_Scynic/pic-html/teveS7008-Allison-Legume-S.html
Here I am, answering my own dumb question! It's come to this?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Popess Pantiara Evokovitch, BAYBEE!" <pantiara@gmail.com>
maybe she wasn't nekkid in any pics... if those pics
are all she's
worried about, then i dunno why she cares.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Tezcatlipoca \"Tez\" Murphy" <smoking@mirror.com>
"Rev. Back It On Up 13" <evielust@aol.com>
wrote in message
news:f6273384-4c2b-4f46-926d-fc52396e677f@37g2000yqp.googlegroups.com...
>
> I was so busy being out-sexied by her that I forgot
my manners this
> year. Next year, no further outbursts.
The sexiest part of a woman is her brain, o big-headed one.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Chain Smerker the Liberated" <michael@subgenious.com>
But
Can't we all just get along?
Obviously not enough people giving free hugs at X-Day.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Paul Jamison" <pjamison2@cox.net>
What's this nonsense about "free hugs"? A
TRUE SubGenius would CHARGE for
them!
Paul
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
"There is always a 'Chickenhed.'" -- some old nobody.
Me and the Brushwood staff got complaints about her
bullying behavior
every single day. I even started getting them before
the festival even
started.
I didn't actually say very much to her. But it was a
teeny tiny taste
of her own medicine and -- surprise, surprise -- she
didn't much like
the taste of it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Zapanaz <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl?foo=@mindspring.com>
This reminds me of two other conversations I am having,
with Toilet
Pepper King of Norwegia and with Miss Binky off the
internetz, sort of
generally about sex and assholes and assholiness.
I've known a lot of women (and men too but it takes
a somewhat
different form with men) who learn they can get positive
attention by
being complete assholes. Raping that guy last year
probably got her a
lot of positive attention. I know I have encouraged
it at times in
women. Well pretty often, really. I think I do it
because in ways it
can be a turn-on.
I've always gone for women like that, aggressive dominator
types. I
had to learn slowly and painfully though that what is
a turn-on
sexually, and what I want in a relationship, or what
I can put up with
before I finally lose my shit and cunt-punt (I can't
stop using that)
someone, are totally different things. I would get
with these women
who were total bitches because it made for great sex,
but they would
drive me bugfuck crackers out of bed. Eventually I
learned to
"arrange" sex with women like that so we wouldn't
have to have a
relationship.
I think you're right that Legume was encouraging it,
there was her
weird appearance on alt.slack before X-Day where she
was starting some
kind of fight about nothing in particular, with Legume
posting
alongside her. I think he just wanted to stir up as
much craziness as
possible.
Legume kind of does the same kind of thing sometimes,
but he pulls it
off a little better. I like Legume, he does what he
does well, but I
would never really let myself forget that he isn't kidding.
I mean I
like him, but he's like friends I've had, that I have
to bear in mind
that they will spontaneously start shit up that can
turn really
bad-crazy. It can make life interesting, but sometimes
a little more
interesting than I need. Chaos-generators have to remain
pointed at
the enemy. If there is no enemy to point one at, run.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
crazy people think they're Napoleon, Normal people think
the
president is Jesus.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Back It On Up 13" <evielust@aol.com>
On Jul 8, 9:25 am, "Rev. Anna Dynamite" <anna.mckib...@gmail.com>
wrote:
>
> I wonder if I missed that, her appearance here
pre-X-Day. I know many
> here are into stirring up craziness, but I suppose
there's a point
> where I have to draw the line at flat-out disrespect.
Stir up shit,
> but know when to stop, I guess.
OR, stir up shit at will! But don't expect every single
person you
stir it up with to lie down and eat it. Every so often
you will
encounter someone who will not like the taste of your
shit, and will
stir some up for you in return.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Anna Dynamite" <anna.mckibben@gmail.com>
Yes! Thank you. I don't mind the shit-stirrers, per
se. Just as long
as EVERYONE prepares for the shit-storm that could come
out of the
shit-stirring.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Clint <clintjcl@gmail.com>
On Jul 7, 9:34 pm, "Popess Pantiara Evokovitch,
BAYBEE!"
<panti...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Jul 7, 9:31 pm, Lord Cyclohexane <LordCyclohex...@gmail.com>
wrote:
>
> > Since I never did follow it, was the whole
"Whateva, MAN" thing EVER
> > funny?
>
> No.
It was funny for me because the ONLY time I heard it
was -- when
leaving X-Day last year, there was a post-it note on
the driver side
of our truck that said "Whateva, Man". Not
knowing who it came from or
its mysterious origins, it simply added to the weirdness
at the time.
Not that I'm defending. We had no clue who it came from
until reading
reports later.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: just john <teuy13002@sneakemail.com>
Oh, come on! Whatevaman was the best super hero EVER!
--
* Radio Free Entropy: http://just-john.com/cn/rfe.shtml
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Lord Cyclohexane <LordCyclohexane@gmail.com>
Ha! I'd had the same thought, last year, about a hippy
superhero
called WhateverMan.
Of course, I couldn't figure out how to make the joke
funny in
writing, only in speech, and only then if you use a
cheesy change-of-
voice which'll make people laugh even when a concept
isn't funny...
Thinking about that, it's kinda sad how many comedians
have to rely on
the funny-voice to make up for their complete lack of
decent jokes or
ideas... (See: Bob & Tom Morning Show)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Susie the Floozie" <revsusiethefloozie@gmail.com>
Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse ME!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Lord Cyclohexane <LordCyclohexane@gmail.com>
Awww, you know I love you, Susie! And I'm not talking
about any
SubGenii, or at least, I don't *believe* that I am...
I very much
love funny voices, but I think it's sad when that's
all a comedian has
in their repertoire.
Fun-fact: During the first three days of LAST X-Day,
I actually
thought that Allison was an immigrant who didn't know
a word of
English past "Whatever, man" since that's
all I ever heard her say,
and other than that she'd only speak with Legume, who
I assumed was
speaking a foreign language with her. As with the above
point about
using funny-voices to cover a lack of ideas, I just
figured she was
using a funny-voice to try and offput people about being
ESL... I
wasn't sure how to take it when I learned that she was
doing that ON
PURPOSE...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Back It On Up 13" <evielust@aol.com>
> Fun-fact: During the first three days of LAST
X-Day, I actually
> thought that Allison was an immigrant who didn't
know a word of
> English past "Whatever, man" since that's
all I ever heard her say,
> and other than that she'd only speak with Legume,
who I assumed was
> speaking a foreign language with her.
Ha. Legume speaks fluent "Duh".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Susie the Floozie" <revsusiethefloozie@gmail.com>
On Jul 7, 10:24 pm, Lord Cyclohexane <LordCyclohex...@gmail.com>
wrote:
>
> Awww, you know I love you, Susie! And I'm not
talking about any
> SubGenii, or at least, I don't *believe* that I
am...
Hey, hey, I was joking.
As far as funny voices go, there's a good reason why
I bill myself as
"The Man of Less Than One Voice"--I can do
Susie and Evil Susie and
that's all. As far as SFX go, I can do a *bwwwwiiip!*
and make a
geiger-counter sound, but that's it. Explosions, machine
guns, Victor
Borge-type punctuation--it's all beyond my abilities.
So yes, there you have it. The sad truth is that even
though I do
radio, *I can't amuse people with my mouth.*
Now if you'll excuse me, I seem to have something in
my eye--*sob,
choke* *CRASHslam!*
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: just john <teuy13002@sneakemail.com>
Rev. Susie the Floozie wrote:
> As far as funny voices go, there's a good reason
why I bill myself as
> "The Man of Less Than One Voice"--I can
do Susie and Evil Susie and
> that's all.
Well, what more would one need, anyway?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: SusietheFloozie <susieflooze@gmail.com>
On Jul 7, 11:50 pm, Lord Cyclohexane <LordCyclohex...@gmail.com>
wrote:
> Oh, as another disclaimer: When I said I love you,
I did NOT mean it
> in the same way that Teeters did...
I still can't figure out what this means. So, you guys
all love me in
DIFFERENT ways? Okay, so I guess you get the oral and
Teeters gets the
vaginal.
Glad there's not a third guy in line, because I hate
anal--it's an
exit, not an entrance.
>But more that I've unconsciously
> taken the beginning of your Baltimore Devival 2008
rant to heart.
> (Paraphrase: "Think of me as your own Mommy
Weirdness, coming at you
> with the coathanger of my voice...")
> What can I say, my parents are Pink through and
through, and frankly I
> need good role models. I'll try not to put any
undue expectations on
> you.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT, you think of me as your MOTHER??!!!??!!
Okay. So I guess this means that *you'll* be wanting
the *vaginal*,
then. Well, since YOU changed the schedule, YOU break
it to Teeters.
*mutter, grumble* Ghod, I hope it wasn't a rectal birth...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Pisces <KVanHall@gmail.com>
I hate to hear who his daddy is....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Lord Cyclohexane <LordCyclohexane@gmail.com>
Oh, fuck, since it looks like I really STEPPED IN IT
this time, I
guess that means I've gotta be the creepy foot-fetish
guy... Oh,
well, at least all I have to worry about is ATHLETE'S
COCK...
Or, Susie, does that mean I'm supposed to put MY foot
into YOU?
Because, to be honest, I'm not sure I'm ready to take
the damn thing
out of my mouth yet...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Susie the Floozie" <revsusiethefloozie@gmail.com>
.
This conversation is going places I never intended.
Next I'm gonna get
my butthole punched, I just KNOW it...!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Lord Cyclohexane <LordCyclohexane@gmail.com>
I'm just glad I don't have a cunt to punt, personally.
And on the above post, I wish I'd left the stupid "Athlete's
Cock"
crap on the side and joked about getting a bit of that
SOFT PORE CORN
action...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Dr Topper <xt235@hotmail.com>
One of the funnier memories I have of the bonfire was
sifu saying
"Don't take no pictures, people, da blonde bitsh
said 'no photos', etc
etc, in his strong "NewYork" accent...I didn't
know what it was about
fully, at the time, but it just struck me as insanely
hilarious.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Back It On Up 13" <evielust@aol.com>
It was not funny at all. It was a very tragic misunderstanding
which
I fully regret. Nobody should ever speak of it again,
unless they
have a signed waiver from everybody on this newsgroup.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Hey. That reminds me. Not one person turned in their
signed liability
waiver, their Gorillas and Demons sheet, or their "Finish
the nursery
rhymes" sheet. Well, maybe one. And I lost that
one. But hey. Those
multi-page schedule brochures cost me almost a buck
each to print. The
year before, we had all manner of funny Gorilla-Demon
statements to
read out loud.
The liability waiver was a joke, of course, but most
years there are
at least a few people who sign it and turn it in. Ifound
Susie's from
2008 while I was packing the fudge for this trip.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Lloyd Daddy <agentlloyd@gmail.com>
I don't feel stupid enough to sign anything like that
until after the
Xists pull a no-show.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Popess Pantiara Evokovitch, BAYBEE!" <pantiara@gmail.com>
I turned in my nursery rhymes sheet! along with lots
and lots of
bobbie award categories.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Anna Dynamite" <anna.mckibben@gmail.com>
On Jul 7, 10:56 am, "Popess Pantiara Evokovitch,
BAYBEE!"
<panti...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Oh and how could I forget, allison's nekkid drunk
friend that danced
> the night away and got on stage a few times. And
cyclohexane dancing
> for hours around the fire without somehow bursting
into flames from
> the heat. And BOB showed up! A giant cardboard
face of "Bob" attached
> to legs and hands danced around the campfire and
showed up to sneak
> past the Doc Frop/Sexmortus camp. Many tried to
kill him. Many failed.
NOOOOOOOO! If you lot can't kill "Bob" --
or a reasonable facsimile
thereof -- then what's the point?!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Zapanaz <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl?foo=@mindspring.com>
he MOVED!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
WHO WAS THAT? In the Dobbshead costume? My first guess
would be Rev.
Andy Christ, as he is handy with costumery like that.
Other guess
would be Sinphaltimus, except the creature wasn't nearly
tall and
hulking anough to be Sinphaltimus.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Deacon Pan Demonium <pan-demonium@hotmail.com>
Let me just end the speculation...
It was ME!
I had a number of visual gags planned to pull @ Brushwood
this year,
but the Conspiracy forces led to delay my arrival until
Saturday
evening, causing me to abandon most of them. As it was,
I didn't get
around to breaking out the costume until the Bonfire...
At first all went well, dancing with nekkid Connieites
and such, but
then I realized that I was dancing around a HUGE FIRE
in a CARDBOARD
BOX covered with PAINT, PAPER & SPRAY ADHESIVE!!!!
So I ran off into
the night...
I surfaced again the next night but was chased from
the Frop/Decadence
camp like Frankenstein's Monster from a village.
The problem was that unlike you, Stang, most people
didn't get that it
was "a Dobbshead", and not "Bob"
that they were seeing:
I was thinking of myself as a giant living Dobbshead,
which had been
mutated into life by a Mad Scientist at the behest of
"Bob" as part of
a marketing scheme for his SlackWorld Abusement Park,
a sort of unhloy-
Mr.-Peanut-gone-wrong named Dobbsy, which had escaped
the Laboratory
and was last seen in the forest around Sherman, NY.
But since I didn't get to explain the backstory, SOME
people thought I
was "Bob" himself. That being the case, they
promptly did the proper,
even expected thing: They attacked me!
Don't get me wrong, I understand. When you see Dobbs,
you SHOULD try
to KILL him; every schoolchild knows that.
In any case, the costume did not weather the conditions
at Brushwood
very well, and it is no longer in one piece. On the
plus side, it was
a very cheap & easy construct [email me for instructions]
so you all
can expect the appearance of DOBBSY 2 next year @ X-DAY
THE 13TH---THE
FINAL CHAPTER!!!
YSIHF!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: SusietheFloozie <susieflooze@gmail.com>
On Jul 8, 12:16 am, Deacon Pan Demonium <pan-demon...@hotmail.com>
wrote:
> I surfaced again the next night but was chased
from the Frop/Decadence
> camp like Frankenstein's Monster from a village.
Ooh! I was there, and I felt the delightfully surreal
panic of seeing
that halftoned visage bobbing--yes, BOBbing along in
the fringe of
high grass, pale in the darkness like a dancing ghost,
YAAGAAHH!! It
was like being twelve and seeing the Shadow of Fear
on the wall at a
slumber party. Thanks for the eerie thrill...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
On Jul 8, 12:16 am, Deacon Pan Demonium <pan-demon...@hotmail.com>
wrote:
>
> Let me just end the speculation...
> It was ME!
That figures. That adds up. Just this very morning I
found myself
carefully folding up your "1037 Pixel Dobbshead"
board from last year
and placing it next to the Full Metal Dobbshead in their
special spots
on the stairs landing leading up to my Office Turret.
You actually
SIGN your art, which is very helpful to me. Most SubGenii
don't get to
that final step.
> I surfaced again the next night but was chased
from the Frop/Decadence
> camp like Frankenstein's Monster from a village.
You will be glad to know that there are photos of both
appearances. I
saw a great one shot by Sis Dec the last night, and
Wei shot several
at the Bonfire, one of which is an AMAZING accidental
shot with the
fire (including the Ikon, OR A COINCIDENTAL IKON-LIKE
SHAPE) reflected
on the shiny surface of the Dobbshead.
> Don't get me wrong, I understand. When you see
Dobbs, you SHOULD try
> to KILL him; every schoolchild knows that.
I am always careful at each X-Day Drill to explain to
the attendees
that the "Bob" hanging by the neck from the
rafters, or sitting
slumped in a lawn chair, is not the real "Bob"
but a cleverly made
robot created by Dr. Legume many years ago.
That poor dummy languishes in my basement on a couch
most of the year,
acting as a scarecrow to terrify burglars. Back when
I lived in Dallas
it used to scare the hell out of my dog.
>
> YSIHF!
AHIMSAH!
Your 1037 Pixel Dobbshead is still in excellent shape!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Deacon Pan Demonium <pan-demonium@hotmail.com>
Thanks, and thanks again!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Lord Cyclohexane <LordCyclohexane@gmail.com>
On Jul 7, 11:56 am, "Popess Pantiara Evokovitch,
BAYBEE!"
<panti...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Two guys challenged each other to eat
> oreos stuffed with about 100 oreo fillings.
One was Sinphaltamus (spelling?), who just barely got
it all down. I
don't remember who the other one was.
> Susie got all teary eyed at the pot luck cause
it's so
> much like a thanksgiving dinner.
In that same vein, Angry Larry described X-Day as being
exactly what
he imagined family reunions are supposed to be.
> someone nearly died from intoxication...
As far as I'm aware, that was just a joke... but Xanatos
had already
passed out (limp as a noodle in a giant muddy pool in
the middle of
the road) about a half-hour before I arrived. Brainleak
helped carry
him to his tent, so he'd know better.
> best amino acids show I've seen...
Seriously? Goddamn it... because I missed it (even
though I was
there) because 808's Sangria was *far* too good. I
remember the
Amino's movie and I remember arriving at the bonfire,
but I got
nothing else in between except for seeing you and Susie
helping
iDRMRSR keep warm.
> And cyclohexane dancing
> for hours around the fire without somehow bursting
into flames from
> the heat.
It was a true X-Day MIRACLE!
Actually, you know how I would randomly pirouette now
and again? I
was doing that to get my right-side away from the fire
for just long
enough to not spontaneously combust. And, ya know,
the Likwid Frop
helped.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Anna Dynamite" <anna.mckibben@gmail.com>
On Jul 7, 10:51 am, "Popess Pantiara Evokovitch,
BAYBEE!"
<panti...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Uhhhh....
> The only reason I haven't made my own report is
because I can't
> remember most of what happened, or I wasn't in
the midst of anything
> crazy. Except allison getting her ass handed to
her for being a bitch.
> That was fun.
Sounds fun. Who dispensed with the handing-of-the-ass?
> I was mostly sitting aboot a campfire talking to
Tom
> Sane or Teeters LaVerge. It rained and was extremely
cold from
> wednesday to friday morning.
I heard it was pretty ugly, weather-wise. I believe
the phrase BIOU
used when I texted her was "raining like 10 motherfuckers."
Glad to
hear Tom Sane made it out; for some reason I thought
he was joking.
Not sure why.
> Two guys challenged each other to eat
> oreos stuffed with about 100 oreo fillings.
I'm sorry I missed that! I mean, I wish I could have
participated.
Next year, when the contest gets ramped up to hot dogs,
count me in.
> Biou's friday fairy tales
> about no one in particular were read onstage. Susie
whipped a picture
> of Doc Fartian into submission.
Were the fairy tales acted out, or just read dramatically?
> There was hot tubbing, and the tub was
> fairly groaty.
Sounds about right. I remember being suspicious of it
last year, but
that didn't seem to stop me apparently. Even more suspicious
were the
little toy vegetables that had likely been in five or
six vaginas by
the time I got there. Anyhow, memories...
> Susie got all teary eyed at the pot luck cause
it's so
> much like a thanksgiving dinner. (There was a huge
dutch oven pot full
> of pounds of pasta... mmm)
OOH! I'm getting teary thinking of all that pasta!
> A frenzy of bobtisms... someone nearly died
> from intoxication... mafia wars petered out...
best amino acids show
> I've seen... that's all I know.
All awesome. I hear BIOU was bobtised, that true? Too
bad the gang
wars didn't turn epic. Oh well, that's Legume for ya'.
All talk, no
follow-through.
> Oh yeah, and Tom Sane spanked me to
> raise money for magdalene and/or teh church. Raised
like $66 bucks. It
> hurt more than I expected. Eggplant won my panties
at the auction and
> wore them on his head for the rest of the day.
Well, that's where your panties go, right? On a guy's head?
Sounds like a blast; I wish I could have been there.
Thanks for the
report!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: TeelaUbiquitous <hawkeyepapyrus@gmail.com>
One thing that was conspicuously absent was any butthole
punching.
We need Anna McDynamite at xday to open up a serious
can of butthole
punch.
Other than that everything went exactly according to
plan except when
it didn't.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Anna Dynamite" <anna.mckibben@gmail.com>
I agree with this poast.
I have one year minus a few days to get my punching
fist in good
order. Right now it's all limp and flabby.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Paul Jamison" <pjamison2@cox.net>
"Butthole punching"?
"Cunt punt"?
I love learning new phrases.
Paul
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Valerie <voneyeva@gmail.com>
everyone got laid but legume.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Anna Dynamite" <anna.mckibben@gmail.com>
Figures. Oh well, we certainly don't need more of his
offspring
running around anyhow. Lord knows how out-of-control
they can be.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Zapanaz <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl?foo=@mindspring.com>
And you can't turn your back on them if their butthole-punching
fist
is in shape.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
I always say I'd much rather be around someone who comes
right out and
admits he's a hateful intolerant son of a bitch than
someone who's
always calling people down for not coming up to their
noble standards
while pretending it's for everybody's benefit.
- nenslo
----------------------------------------------------------------------