Version 1.465 Sept 97
HTMLized version available at: http://www.sputum.com/dafaq.html
http://208.199.189.75/sputum/dafaq.html
http://super.zippo.com/~sputum/dafaq.htm
Author: SubGenius Police, Usenet Tactical Unit (Mobile)
AKA S.P.U.T.U.M.
Unit 0 (Control)
This FAQ is NOT an official publication of the official
Church of the SubGenius. See the Dizclaimer in section IV.
*****************************************************************
{12 July: Mike's Back: Cry Havoc! ;2 Aug: updated number of Units;
USPIS section updated to reflect the info at
<<http://www.eskimo.com/~brucem/tuguspis.htm>>; 23 Aug: added Spade
"Acme Spammer Finder" site <<http://www.blighty.com/spam/spade.html>>,
Lysander's Anti-Spam Site <<http://www.iswest.com/~howardk/lysander.html>>,
<<http://www.rahul.net/falk/>>, and <<http://www.stopspam.org/>>}
Index
I Purpose of alt.binaries.slack
1.0) What the &^$@ is the Church of the SubGenius, anyway?
1.0a) This is a joke, right? Right?
1.1) What is alt.binaries.slack for?
1.2) What is alt.binaries.slack NOT for?
1.3) Who the F*ck appointed you Net God/Nazi/Police/etc...(Karsten's
question and our response).
1.4) Will I be flamed/exposed/reported if I post...
1.4a) binaries related to the Church of the SubGenius (CotSG)?
1.4b) binaries related to J.R. "Bob" Dobbs?
1.4c) cool executables that do wierd and Slackful things?
1.4d) binaries of my face copied by the office Xerox(R) machine?
1.4e) multiple (many) parts of the same binary?
1.4f) long diatribes about how little Slack my life has?
1.4g) SPAM?
1.4gI) What is SPAM?
1.4h) warez, or requests for warez?
1.4hI) What in the heck are warez?
1.4i) advertisements for commercial products NOT related to the
Church of the SubGenius?
1.4j) advertisements for my KEWL non-commercial website?
1.4k) "testing testing 1 2 4"?
1.5) SubGenii, I think I am committing Net Abuse. Am I?
II Our Yeti-blooded Responses to Net-Abusing Maroons
2.0) What kind of responses can I expect as a result of my stupid
online behavior on a.b.s.?
2.0a) If I don't get any response, is it safe to assume that the
denizens of alt.binaries.slack think that what I posted is
cool?
2.0b) Do you solemnly swear that you take responsibility to
ensure that every single post to a.b.s. is
kosher/cool/legit/moral/fat-free?
2.0c) So, you are saying that a.b.s. is NOT moderated, but rather
controlled by a series of positive and negative social
feedback loops?
2.1) Who do you %$#@!s think you are to oppose ME, Lord High
Poster-Child of the Macrocosmic Universe?
2.2) Who the &^%@* are you, anyway?
2.2a) Will you tell me all of your sources and methods, member
names, resources, home addresses, and credit card numbers so I
can oppose you effectively so I can keep spamming the internet
with kiddie-porn MMF warez? Please?
2.3) To whom should I complain if I think I have been treated unfairly?
2.4) Should I expect ONE CONSISTENT response to my rude and obnoxious
online behavior from *all* the denizens of alt.binaries.slack?
2.5) Whom do you *generally* just flame?
2.6) Whom do you *generally* just flame and expose?
2.7) Whom do you *generally* flame and expose and report?
2.8) Fine. I'll just remain anonymous. That'll work, right?
2.9) Can I really be kicked off my ISP for...
2.9a) being a total @$$hole?
2.9b) crossposting to large parts of the Usenet (Excessive
Crossposting [ECP])?
2.9c) posting multiple copies of the same message to individual
news groups (Excessive Multiposting [EMP])?
2.9d) posting requests for illegally copied software (warez)?
2.9e) posting non-binaries in binary groups such as a.b.s.?
2.10) Can I really be thrown in jail for...
2.10a) adding my name to a Make Money Fast pyramid scam and
uploading same?
2.10b) uploading illegally copied software (warez)?
2.10c) uploading anything RESEMBLING child pornography?
2.10d) posting threatening messages (i.e., bomb or mailbomb
threats)?
2.11) What is news.admin.net-abuse.*?
2.12) Hey, howz come the SubG Police don't patrol alt.slack, all the
myriad other SubG-related newsgroups, and the entire state of
New Jersey?
2.13) HEY WHY DUNT YUSE GYZ CUT ME SUM SLAK? ISNT THAT WHAT BOB IS
ABOUT?
III How to help
3.0) How can I get right with "Bob" and join the Church of the
SubGenius?
3.1) Where can I find more information about how to stop spammers?
3.2) Can I join S.P.U.T.U.M. huh can I huh huh?
3.3) I just realized I am a maroon. How can I improve my standing in
the eyes of the internet, my girlfriend, and, most importantly,
"Bob"?
IV Dizclaimer
_____________________________________________________________________
I Purpose of alt.binaries.slack
_____________________________________________________________________
1.0) What the &^$@ is the Church of the SubGenius, anyway?
The Church of the SubGenius is the religion devoted to bringing the
world the glad tidings of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, who has said, "Give me
Slack or Kill me!". Shortly thereafter, he was killed for YOUR
Slack...and has arisen to bring all Paid-Up SubGenii to the Holy
Access Panels of the Xist alien flying saucers which are coming to
rescue those of the true-FALSE!-true ancient Yeti-blood come (sick)
X-Day, July 5th, 1998. For more details, you are referred to the *By
Dobbs* Official SubGenius Website (SubSite) at:
http://www.subgenius.com/ and http://www.subgenius.com/
1.0a) This is a joke, right? Right?
No more a joke than that you consist of a quadrillion whirling quarks
spinning about in space on a speck of dirt circling a middling G-type
star which is whooshing through the n-dimensional space-time continuum
at 50,000 miles per hour on a collision course with the impending
re-collapse of the phenomenal universe in another 10^10 years or so.
The short answer is that, NO, we are not a joke...at least, not one
that your puny mind can comprehend. We believe in what we believe
MORE truly and faithfully than you can possibly believe that we
believe in what we truly and faithfully believe in believe in in.
For more on why we are NOT a joke, you are referred to ye Official
The Book of the SubGenius (Dobbs, J.R., via the SubGenius Foundation,
New York: Simon and Schuster, 1987, ISBN 0-671-63810-6), Chapter
One: "Don't Laugh".
1.1) What is alt.binaries.slack for?
alt.binaries.slack (a.b.s.) is intended primarily for posting to the
entire internet community binaries related to Slack, the Church of the
SubGenius, J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, SubGenius culture, and SubGenius heritage.
However, as per the words of Our Newsgroup Founder, Modemac, in article
Message-ID: <5dip7t$g85@mtinsc05.worldnet.att.net>:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name one binary newsgroup where people don't talk about the goings-on there
-- and I don't mean off-topic, widely cross-posted threads (such as one
thread I need not mention here). People are chatting, praising each other
for good stuff, making requests for stuff, talking about ways to keep the
newsgroups healthy...AND kicking the collective tushes of those who want to
ruin those newsgroups.
SPUTUM is a useful presence on alt.binaries.slack, formed out of the
necessity to keep Pinkness OUT of here.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
As that which is *necessary* should also be *legal*, non-binary posts
objecting to off-topic articles or related to enforcement of our FAQ
shall be considered on-topic for alt.binaries.slack, whether initiated
by official S.P.U.T.U.M. Units or others.
Similarly, to ensure the maximum utility of this newsgroup, non-binary
posts regarding requests for Slackful binaries, reposts of same,
or feedback are also considered on-topic. Non-binary posts regarding
the community of alt.binaries.slack (requests for information, internal
debate) are also acceptable, so long as they are not intended as an
attack on our community. Extensive personal rants of a generic SubGenius
nature should be directed to alt.slack (see 1.4f below).
Binary posts which encode off-topic information or images (commercial,
MMF, racist, etc.) are accorded no leeway whatsoever just because they are
posted in binary format. A turd by any other name would stink as bad.
Finally, the alt.binaries.slack FAQ will never be considered off-topic on
alt.binaries.slack, even though it is not a binary.
1.2) What is alt.binaries.slack NOT for?
Everything not covered in 1.1 above. Go ahead-- read it again,
Pinkboy.
1.3) Who the F*ck appointed you Net God/Nazi/Police/etc...(Karsten's
question and our response).
We FELT the SPIRIT of "Bob" move us, That or the Flaming Wet
Burrito I had for lunch.
"Just remember the most important feature of our friend "Bob". His
ever present grin is FULL OF TEETH !!! Be as unto "Bob" and bite these
would be slack suckers right in their @ss. It's where they keep their
wallets." Rev. Edward Strange
"SHUT UP!" --NENSLO
On 26 Dec 96, Karsten H. Gerhardt posted to alt.binaries.slack:
--------------------------begin quote---------------------------------
From: khg@adnc.com
Subject: Re: F{*} ME PLEASE MY NAME IS SIMRAN 604-590-{*}
Date: Thu, 26 Dec 1996 12:41:01 GMT
[snip]
All I see is that some perverts are trying to beef up their sex life.
I do not share their sexual desires the least bit, but still what
constitutes the criminal act commited here??
I figure your 'mobile unit' has not sprung a leak in its guidance
system, so please explain how you determine a possible warrant for
an arrest and what your legal qualifications and education
is, to make such a call? Lawyer, Judge or executioner?
[snip] *sanitized for general consumption.
----------------------------end quote----------------------------------
S.P.U.T.U.M. claims no special legal or police powers, other than those
given to us by "Bob". We are not lawyers. We are, however, judge and jury
to those who spam or otherwise corrupt a.b.s. We leave the execution to
the ISPs, the corporations affected by warez, the IRS, the SPA, the FBI,
etc. The "Crime" committed by the "SIMRAN" poster was ECP sex spam-- a
crime against the Usenet, and a violation of the ISP's TOS. QED.
Content is irrelevant. Bandwidth is everything. Do the math, Karsten.
See also sections I 1.4gI and II 2.1 below, for further expatiation
on these points.
1.4) Will I be flamed/exposed/reported if I post/upload to
alt.binaries.slack...
1.4a) binaries related to the Church of the SubGenius (CotSG)?
No.
1.4b) binaries related to J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, including non-binary
ASCII art, etc.?
No. Modemac reminds you that other newsgroups in the
alt.binaries.pictures.* hierarchy may welcome your offering, as well.
1.4c) cool executables that do wierd and Slackful things?
No. You'd better have written them or have ensured that they are
bona-blanking-fide freeware or non-cracked shareware, however.
Remember, a.b.s. is *not* only for cool new Dobbsheads, as witness:
---------------------begin quote of post from Modemac------------
From: modemac@netcom.com (Modemac)
Subject: Re: - Operation Rescue.sea (0/2) * Operation Rescue *
Lamprey Systems (lamprey@micron.net) wrote:
/********************************************************/
PROCHOICE AND PROLIFE FORCES AGREE:
LAMPREY SYSTEMS' "OPERATION RESCUE" BITES!
/********************************************************/
Here's what's REALLY great about this newsgroup: Some people are smart
enough to post something BESIDES those endless pictures of "Bob."
"Bob's" face may look nice, but it's even better when we get more
variety, such as this!
Praise to thee, Brother Lamprey!
Remember, folks: "Bob" is the only Shurt (sic) Cut to Slack, but he's
not the ONLY path. If you've got some graphics or software (not pirated)
that gives you SLACK, then post it here! It doesn't JUST have to be
about "Bob" or the Church of the SubGenius. Remember the One Single Prime
Commandment of the Church of the SubGenius:
THE SUBGENIUS ***MUST*** HAVE **SLACK*!!!
SLACK COMES FIRST! Not "Bob," or Stang, or me, or the Church of the
SubGenius -- SLACK. SLACK! SLACK! If it GIVES YOU SLACK, then then
it's worthy of YOU -- and it's worthy of this newsgroup.
So POST YOUR SLACKFUL STUFF HERE!
-------------------------end quoted post------------------------------
1.4d) binaries of my my face copied by the office Xerox(R)
machine?
Only if you are exceptionally ugly.
1.4e) multiple (many) parts of the same binary?
Because of the way some (older, mainly Unix) machines handle binaries,
it is PREFERRED that a huge binary file be uploaded in UUENCODED (not
MIME-encoded) format in multiple large chunks. This can be done
automatically with most modern newsreaders by appropriate setting of
the posting preferences. Posting OBZ (one big zip) file can prevent
some Yeti from enjoying your file; on the other hand, posting 1,749
chunks of 50 lines each is the pre-eminent sign that you are a newbie
maroon who can't even figure out how many stop signs there are at a
four-way stop. Moreover, posting hundreds of small chunks MAY put you
in danger of seeming like a flooder-attacker, in which case...see
section I 1.4gI and II 2.7 below.
1.4f) long diatribes about how little Slack my life has?
Quite possibly. Take such things to alt.slack, or to your
psychiatrist. The main difference is that the denizens of alt.slack
charge a lot less.
1.4g) SPAM?
Yes. Most definitely, it is to be expected, yes, that you stand an
overwhelming high probability of being flamed into the Stone Age if
you post SPAM to a.b.s., yes. Did we say "yes" yet?
1.4gI) What is SPAM anyway?
You are referred to the official Net Abuse FAQ at:
http://www.cybernothing.org/faqs/net-abuse-faq.html
...for a definitive answer. Basically, SPAM is NOT the Hormel
Luncheon Meat product, but rather a message posted to a large number
of Usenet groups, or mailed to a large number of people. How LARGE
is large is a matter of debate; the number 20 is bandied about as
a rule of thumb. It DOES NOT matter whether this is Excessive
Crossposting (ECP), where the same message is posted all at once to
many groups, or Excessive Multiposting (EMP), where the same OR
substantially similar message is posted to many individual groups.
SPAM is SPAM is SPAM...and, in fact, the latter method (EMP) actually
takes up MORE room on more servers around the world and therefore
costs more people more money. Think about it.
Those who send out junk e-mail (and, possibly, junk Spam posts) should
carefully review the relevant US Federal law against unsolicited
messages transmitted via fax/computer systems (USC 47, Section 227):
http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/47/227.html
There is another kind of SPAMMER out there...the flooder. This is a
luser maroon who thinks he or she can gain fame/glory/power by posting
hundreds or even thousands of small chunks of some file to a.b.s. with
a Subject Line like "The mothers of SubGenii wear Army bootz!!!" The
response to such a vertical SPAM attack will be severe and devastating.
Does the phrase "New Superfund Site" mean anything to you?
1.4h) warez, or requests for warez?
YES! ABSO-#$@!-ING-LUTELY! The denizens of alt.binaries.slack do
not, in general, see much difference between posting of warez and
requests for same (much as, in the legal arena, the law doesn't much
distinguish between trying to hire a hitman to kill someone and
actually trying to do so yourself). Those who request warez are, in
our opinion, trafficking in illegal software, and will be subject to
the same types of response we show those stupid enough to think that
we will cut ANYONE slack (see II 2.13 below).
1.4hI) What in the heck are warez?
Illegally copied software, specifically, software that is REGISTERED
(not freeware) or cracked shareware, which is subsequently uploaded to
the Net, whether Usenet, Website, or ftp site. For more information
on how trafficking in illegally copied software constitutes a U.S.
federal crime, and how it is also considered criminal activity by
every civilized country in the world, you are referred to the Software
Publishers Association, at:
piracy@spa.org
http://www.spa.org/piracy/sftuse.htm#law
(U.S.) 1(800) 388-7478
We of the Church of the SubGenius do NOT think that stealing the
software that some poor schmuck spent YEARS of her life coding is
"K3WL" or Slackful or a good way to "Fight the CON". In fact, we
think that such theft is EXACTLY the sort of exploitation that the CON
stands for. True Yeti pay GOOD MONEY for their Salvation from
Pinkness ($30.00, in fact...see III 3.0 below). Since more than a few
of us have actually been paid to code software in real life, more than
a few of us GET REALLY ANGRY when it is suggested that the Church of
the SubGenius and SubGenii in general should APPROVE of such illegal
and UNETHICAL behavior. As more than a few *warez-kiddies* have
already found out, we DO NOT APPROVE of warez trafficking on our
newsgroup; we will pull out all the stops to call in the authorities
--Usenet, ISP, F.B.I. (nccs@fbi.gov), you name it-- to nip such activity
in the bud.
1.4i) advertisements for commercial products NOT related to the
Church of the SubGenius
Yes. Absolutely, you will be flamed for spamming if EMP/ECP, or else
for posting off-topic non-binaries in a binary newsgroup otherwise.
There are literally hundreds of newsgroups where commercial advertizing
is tolerated, or even welcomed. Take it to the biz.* hierarchy, for
Dobbs' sake.
1.4j) advertisements for my KEWL non-commercial website?
If your site has to do with "Bob", announce it on alt.slack. If your
site does NOT have to do with "Bob", take it elsewhere. We aren't
interested.
1.4k) "testing testing 1 2 4"?
Yes. alt.binaries.slack is NOT a place to test your shiny new
newsreader. Take it to alt.test or alt.test.yer.posts, or any of the
myriad other groups with "test" in their names. Since most a.b.s.
testers are readying themselves to SPAM us, we MAY VERY WELL take
pre-emptive action.
1.5) SubGenii, I think I am committing Net Abuse. Am I?
Again, read the (far more authoritative) Net Abuse FAQ referenced
above. In general, "Use the force, Puke." If it walks like SPAM and
quacks like SPAM, it is very likely SPAM.
_____________________________________________________________________
II Our Yeti-blooded Responses to Net-Abusing Maroons
_____________________________________________________________________
2.0) What kind of responses can I expect as a result of my stupid online
behavior on a.b.s.?
If you commit Net Abuse affecting a.b.s., you can expect one of the
following responses:
1) complete silence as we reload.
2) complete silence as we wait for your post to hit our servers.
3) complete silence as we enjoy our naps.
4) complete silence as we gambol on the beach in Waikiki.
5) complete silence as we ignore your pitiful attempt at posting.
6) complete silence as we bask in the Slackful Glow of your
Awesome new homemade "Bob" ASCII art.
7) complete silence as we try to figure out how to run one of
Lou's DOS programs in a DOS Box in Windows 95, when we could
have finished hours ago if we used GeoWorks.
8) a flaming retort.
9) a flaming retort, PLUS exposure of your real ISP and/or e-mail
address.
10) a flaming retort, exposure of your real ISP, e-mail address,
PLUS your home address, phone number, and favorite carnal
position to the entire world. We found out, for example, that
one braindead warez dude who advertised himself as sexy-cool
had actually posted copiously to a certain newsgroup about
his increasing baldness. Another dude posted lovey-dovey
pukeogenic stuff to alt.cuddle. You are warned.
11) one of 8,9, and/or 10, PLUS posting of all your info to
news.admin.net-abuse.usenet, so that professional SPAMMER- and
Net-Abuser-hunters can cut loose on you.
12) one or more of 8-11, PLUS reporting you to your ISP for abuse
of your terms of service or academic Acceptable Use Policy
(AUP). Most ISPs are VERY interested in curbing flagrant Net
Abuse, and will suspend or cancel accounts, and/or prosecute
offenders.
13) one or more of 8-12, PLUS reporting you to the U.S. Postal
Inspectors Service Postal Fraud hotline (jccheezum@usps.gov).
14) one or more of 8-13, PLUS reporting you to the FTC Bureau of
Consumer Protection (consumerline@ftc.gov or uce@ftc.gov [e-mail])
15) one or more of 8-14, PLUS reporting you to the F.B.I.
National Computer Crime Squad (nccs@fbi.gov).
16) one or more of 8-15, PLUS reporting you to the Software
Publishers Association (1 (800) 388-7478; piracy@spa.org).
17) one or more of 8-16, PLUS thinking that you are a lame, Pink
glorp merehume with no redeeming value to "Bob" who should be
left behind with all the other cattle on X-Day.
18) NOTE: We do not rule out the possibility of canceling
net.abusive posts, in accordance with prevailing Usenet policy.
2.0a) If I don't get any response, is it safe to assume that the
denizens of alt.binaries.slack think that what I posted is
cool?
Absolutely not. See 2.0 1-5 above. We may be reloading, or asleep,
or engaging in excremeditation, or on vacation, or waiting for your
pitiful post to hit our ISP's servers, or ignoring you with extreme
prejudice.
2.0b) Do you solemnly swear that you take responsibility to
ensure that every single post to a.b.s. is
kosher/cool/legit/moral/fat-free?
No. We adamantly do not. Every post is the sole responsibility of
the respective poster. Depending on our mood and online status, SPAM
may or may not be slammed immediately. Do you feel lucky, Pink?
2.0c) So, you are saying that a.b.s. is NOT moderated, but rather
controlled by a series of positive and negative social
feedback loops?
Ding Ding Ding. Correct, for 1000. Give that Yeti some
Habafropzipulops (BotSG, page 152).
2.1) Who do you %$#@!s think you are to oppose ME, Lord High
Poster-Child of the Macrocosmic Universe?
We are the ones who can and will kick your @$$ for "Bob" if you mess
with our newsgroup. We are the denizens of alt.binaries.slack-- we
have peed on this territory, and it is ours. Are we not men? We are
YETI... Y-E-T-I!
2.2) Who the &^%@* are you, anyway?
Our official S.P.U.T.U.M. point of contact is the leader of STOMP
Squadron:
unit4@sputum.com
Doktor DynaSoar Iridium-- The Punctuator of Evolution
SubGenius Police, Usenet Tactical Unit (Mobile), AKA S.P.U.T.U.M.
Unit 4: SubGenius Tactical Online Message Poster (STOMP) Squadron
This *IS* the Public Relations Department. Got a problem?
"Go ahead -- flame. I'll just use it to light the fuse."
Any messages intended for S.P.U.T.U.M. Units 0-153 should be
addressed to the Honorable Doktor DynaSoar Iridium for re-transmittal
(if non-lame) or filing in /dev/null (if lame).
2.2a) Will you tell me all of your sources and methods, member
names, resources, home addresses, and credit card numbers so I
can oppose you effectively so I can keep spamming the Usenet
with kiddie-porn MMF warez? Please?
No.
2.3) To whom should I complain if I think I have been treated
unfairly?
(Chortle) What a whiner Gen-X loser you are. Get one of a) a grip
b) a clue, or c) a life. If you must whine, direct it to
S.P.U.T.U.M. Unit 4 at unit4@sputum.com. Then go find a tall
bridge. On your way down, reflect on the fact that DynaSoar has a long
reputation for evenhandedness and honor in newsgroup/BBS dealings
dating back to the Stone Age of Computing (the 1980s).
2.4) Should I expect ONE CONSISTENT response to my rude and obnoxious
online behavior from *all* the denizens of alt.binaries.slack?
Hardly. Each individual Yeti retains the right to respond to each
individual post as an (guess what) individual, regardless of
S.P.U.T.U.M. affiliation, if any. Each individual also has the
right to ignore you completely, without in so doing condoning your
behavior in the least. Deal with the chaos created by your karma,
dude.
2.5) Whom do you *generally* just flame.
Newbies who are lost. Isolated non-SPAM off-topic non-commercial,
non-MMF, non-warez posts. Testers who are not obviously warming up for
SPAM-fests.
2.6) Whom do you *generally* just flame and expose.
Obnoxious losers who expectorate off-topic posts pseudo-anonymously,
but who do not engage in MMF or warez posting.
2.7) Whom do you *generally* flame, expose, and report?
MMF posters. Warez posters. Warez requesters. Spammers. Me-Tooers.
Losers who think they can threaten Yeti with impunity. Anyone who
listens to elevator music while wearing polyester online.
2.8) Fine. I'll just remain anonymous. That'll work, right?
Wrong-o. Try it and see. Even an anon remailer service can be
forced to turn you in for, say, copyright violation (read much
alt.religion.scientology recently?). If you ran such a service (for
free, usually), what would be the point of protecting flagrant Net
Abusers? There is none. Protection of Net Abuse is only a recipe
for more *LEGISLATION* against the Internet community...which is
something we all wish to avoid.
2.9) Can I really be kicked off my ISP for...
2.9a) being a total @$$hole?
Unfortunately, not usually.
2.9b) crossposting to large parts of the Usenet (Excessive
Crossposting [ECP])?
Yes.
2.9c) posting multiple copies of the same message to individual
news groups (Excessive Multiposting [EMP])?
Yes. SPAM is SPAM.
2.9d) posting requests for illegally copied software (warez)?
Yes. You *may* get one warning, however.
2.9e) posting non-binaries in binary groups such as a.b.s.?
Possibly, especially if you persist.
2.10) Can I really be thrown in jail for...
2.10a) adding my name to a Make Money Fast pyramid scam and
uploading same?
Absolutely. This is a U.S. Federal crime under Title 18, United States
Code, Section 1302, the Postal Lottery Statute.
You are referred to the U.S. Postal Service page on this topic:
http://www.usps.gov/websites/depart/inspect/chainlet.htm
--From which we quote:
----------------------------begin quote-----------------------------
"There's at least one problem with chain letters. They're illegal if
they request money or other items of value and promise a substantial
return to the participants. Chain letters are a form of gambling, and
sending them through the mail (or delivering them in person or by
computer, but mailing money to participate) violates Title 18, United
States Code, Section 1302, the Postal Lottery Statute. (Chain letters
that ask for items of minor value, like picture postcards or recipes,
may be mailed, since such items are not things of value within the
meaning of the law.)
Recently, high-tech chain letters have begun surfacing. They may be
disseminated over the Internet, or may require the copying and mailing
of computer disks rather than paper. Regardless of what technology is
used to advance the scheme, if the mail is used at any step along the
way, it is still illegal."
----------------------------end quote-------------------------------
Note: check out http://www.eskimo.com/~brucem/tuguspis.htm for the latest
info regarding the lack of an official USPIS MMF complaint e-mail address.
If you are a California resident, you are also in trouble with the state:
quote from:
http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/calawquery?codesection=pen&codebody=endless
-------------------------------begin quote---------------------------
CALIFORNIA CODES
PENAL CODE
SECTION 319-329
[snip]
327. "Every person who contrives, prepares, sets up, proposes, or
operates any endless chain is guilty of a public offense, and is
punishable by imprisonment in the county jail not exceeding one year
or in state prison for 16 months, two, or three years.
As used in this section, an "endless chain" means any scheme for
the disposal or distribution of property whereby a participant pays a
valuable consideration for the chance to receive compensation for
introducing one or more additional persons into participation in the
scheme or for the chance to receive compensation when a person
introduced by the participant introduces a new participant.
Compensation, as used in this section, does not mean or include
payment based upon sales made to persons who are not participants in
the scheme and who are not purchasing in order to participate in the
scheme."
---------------------------end quote----------------------------------
Oh, and for you Canadians, yes, MMF pyramid schemes are illegal North
of the Border as well (our hats off to Joel for this info):
Check out the following URLs:
[French language version]
http://canada.justice.gc.ca/FTP/FR/Lois/Chap/C/C-34
[English language version]
http://canada.justice.gc.ca/FTP/EN/Laws/Chap/C/C-34
---------------------from whence we quote----------------------------
CONSOLIDATED STATUTES OF CANADA
C
Competition Act
PART VI OFFENCES IN RELATION TO COMPETITION
...previous
Definition of "scheme of pyramid selling"
55.1 (1) For the purposes of this section, "scheme of pyramid selling" means a
multi-level marketing plan whereby
(a) a participant in the plan gives consideration for the right to receive
compensation by reason of the recruitment into the plan of another participant
in the plan who gives consideration for the same right;
(b) a participant in the plan gives consideration, as a condition of
participating in the plan, for a specified amount of the product, other than a
specified amount of the product that is bought at the seller's cost price for
the purpose only of facilitating sales;
(c) a person knowingly supplies the product to a participant in the plan in an
amount that is commercially unreasonable; or
(d) a participant in the plan who is supplied with the product
(i) does not have a buy-back guarantee that is exercisable on reasonable
commercial terms or a right to return the product in saleable condition on
reasonable commercial terms, or
(ii) is not informed of the existence of the guarantee or right and the
manner in which it can be exercised.
Pyramid selling
(2) No person shall establish, operate, advertise or promote a scheme of
pyramid selling.
Offence and punishment
(3) Any person who contravenes subsection (2) is guilty of an offence and
liable
(a) on conviction on indictment, to a fine in the discretion of the court or
to imprisonment for a term not exceeding five years or to both; or
(b) on summary conviction, to a fine not exceeding twenty-five thousand
dollars or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding one year or to both.
1992, c. 14, s. 1.
---------------------end quote of Canadian law----------------------------
The economic crimes division of the RCMP <economic@fox.nstn.ca> may hear
from us if you spam MMF to alt.binaries.slack from Canada.
Pyramid schemes are also illegal in Australia. Check out:
http://www.wa.gov.au/gov/mft/pages/mftbn10.html
By the way, exporting cash out of the country in response to an MMF
post may get you in hot water with the U.S. Customs Department.
Why don't you ask them at:
http://www.ustreas.gov/treasury/bureaus/customs/customs.html
or
the Federal Trade Commission:consumerline@ftc.gov or uce@ftc.gov [e-mail]
Another good point of contact is the National Fraud Information Center,
"A partnership of the National Association of Attorney's General, the
Federal Trade Commission, the National Consumers' League, and Project
Phonebusters Canada":
http://www.fraud.org/
TOLL FREE NUMBER: 1-800-876-7060
From outside the U.S.: dial the U.S. country code, then 202-835-0159
Online Incident Report: http://www.fraud.org/nficmail.htm
E-mail address: nfic@internetMCI.com
Mailing Address: P O Box 65868 Washington, DC 20035
Fax Number: 202-835-0767
Also (new!): fraudinfo@psinet.com
And, hey, are you going to DECLARE any money you receive in the mail
as income? If not, the IRS will know just where to look...because *you* will
have given them your address!
"D'oh!"<--You.
...and if you don't give them your address, we may. Have you ever heard
of address and phone number CD-ROMs? Or the many online phone/e-mail
directories? Or the new address mapping service on the Web?
We have.
New contact info for the IRS <<http://www.irs.ustreas.gov/prod/>>:
From a post by IRS Inspector Andrew Fried:
-----------------------------------------------------
net-abuse@nocs.insp.irs.gov
Use this address to report make money fast (MMF) schemes. Mail sent to
this address will be forwarded to the Criminal Investigation Division
(CID) for appropriate action.
hotline@nocs.insp.irs.gov
Mail sent to this address will be forwarded to Internal Security
(Inspection), the IRS's "internal affairs" type organization. Internal
Security is responsible for investigating criminal acts which attempt to
corrupt our tax system.
------------------------------------------------------
This subject is not confined to the purview of SubGenii,
news.admin.net-abuse.*, or even the Usenet. If you post MMF Spam,
you may end up forever enshrined (like a bug in amber) on Rolf's
hilarious yet DEADLY serious Anti-MMF web site:
http://www.clark.net/pub/rolf/mmf/
Rolf has also collected *many* more resources which explain how and why
MMF messages are illegal, and how you can end up IN JAIL if you propagate
MMF spew.
Addendum: Additional USPS e-mail address: customer@email.ups.gov
2.10b) uploading illegally copied software (warez)?
Absolutely. This is a U.S. Federal crime under the Copyright Act,
Title 17 of the US Code, AND under Canadian law (The Copyright Act,
R.S.C 1985, c. C-42). The penalties for distributing illegally copied
software are severe:
------quoted from http://www.spa.org/piracy/sftuse.htm#law ----------
" Offenders can be subject to civil damages of as much as US$100,000
per title copied, and criminal penalties, including fines (up to
US$250,000 per work copied, CN$1,000,000) and imprisonment (up to 5
years per title copied)."
------end quote from http://www.spa.org/piracy/sftuse.htm#law -------
Read all about American AND Canadian law regarding illegal software
copying and distribution at:
http://www.spa.org/piracy/sftuse.htm
On 29 July 96, a loser who uploaded warez to his ISP's FTP
site was slapped with a civil lawsuit by the Software Publishers
Association (SPA). Read about it at:
http://www.spa.org/piracy/releases/butler3.htm
from which we quote:
--------------begin fair-use quote of SPA press release--------------
"Contact:
Peter Beruk, Domestic Anti-Piracy, (202) 452-1600 ext. 314
(pberuk@spa.org)
Ken Wasch, President, (202) 452-1600 ext. 310
(kwasch@spa.org)
SPA Moves Against Internet Pirate; Lawsuit Is Software Industry First
Case Sends Cautionary Signal to Internet Users, Providers
(July 29, 1996 -- Washington, D.C. ) -- In the first known action of
its kind, the Software Publishers Association (SPA) has filed a civil
copyright infringement lawsuit against a Seattle area man for illegal
distribution of software on the Internet. The action, filed July 23 in
the U.S. District Court in Seattle against Max Butler, alleges that
Butler illegally uploaded copyrighted software to a file transfer
protocol (FTP) site operated by an Internet service provider (ISP),
for distribution across the Internet. The action was filed on behalf
of Cinco Networks Inc., Symantec Corp. and Traveling Software Inc.
"This action is a warning to Internet users who believe they can
infringe software copyrights without fear of exposure or penalty.
Although SPA has no desire to police all Internet users, we will
vigorously pursue blatant violations of an ISP's network operations,
and of our members' copyrights -- the type of conduct alleged in the
complaint against Mr. Butler," said Sandra Sellers, SPA vice president
of intellectual property education and enforcement.
"This action also sends a message to ISPs. SPA could have sued the ISP
for copyright infringement but chose not to in this case because of
this ISP's immediate proactive remedial action," Sellers said.
"Diligent monitoring of its FTP server and its cooperation with SPA to
stop the infringement represents the kind of good business practices
that current copyright law encourages."
----------------end partial quote of SPA press release---------------
Finally, the economic crimes division of the RCMP <economic@fox.nstn.ca>
may hear from us if you spam warez from Canada.
2.10c) uploading anything RESEMBLING child pornography?
Absolutely. This is a federal crime, as well it should be.
2.10d) posting threatening messages (i.e., bomb or mailbomb
threats)?
Yes, people have been tried and convicted for sending threatening or
harassing e-mail. This could easily be applied to Usenet posts, if
the post is egregious enough. We do NOT support censorship of the
Internet; however, posting a message stating you are going to bomb
or otherwise harm someone will probably gain you a visit from your
friendly neighborhood FBI agent.
2.11) What is news.admin.net-abuse.*?
You are referred to the news.admin.net-abuse.misc official FAQ at:
http://www.cybernothing.org/faqs/net-abuse-faq.html
Note: Per a vote that ended on 7 Nov 96, the news.admin.net-abuse.*
hierarchy is being reorganized thusly:
------------------------quotation from nanam announcement-----------------
Newsgroups lines:
news.admin.announce Announcements for news adminstrators. (Moderated)
news.admin.net-abuse.bulletins Bulletins of action re net abuse.(Moderated)
news.admin.net-abuse.email Discussion of abuse of email systems.
news.admin.net-abuse.policy Discussion of net abuse policy. (Moderated)
news.admin.net-abuse.sightings Sightings of net abuse. (Moderated)
news.admin.net-abuse.usenet Discussion of abuse of the Usenet system.
-------------------------end quotation from nanam--------------------------
2.12) Hey, howz come the SubG Police don't patrol alt.slack, all the
myriad other SubG-related newsgroups, the IRC, and the entire state
of New Jersey?
Because we don't feel like it...yet. This is not to say we haven't
been asked to take on this role. However, we feel it is not "Bob's"
will to turn alt.slack into a police state. Yet.
2.13) HEY WHY DUNT YUSE GYZ CUT ME SUM SLAK? ISNT THAT WHAT BOB IS ABOUT?
(Snarf!) Excuse me? Have you ever considered that it gives us *much
Slack* (with a capital S) to give Spammers, MMF-posters, and
warez-traders NO slack? "Bob" does not mess around. Neither do we.
Try us.
You clearly do not understand anything about Slack if you think that
"Bob" stands for leniency. At 0701 5 July 1998, look to the skies
and tell us how much slack you think you'll get from "Bob". Better
get _right_ with "Bob" now, Pinkboy (see III 3.0 below).
_____________________________________________________________________
III How to help
_____________________________________________________________________
3.0) How can I get right with "Bob" and join the Church of the SubGenius?
Fine question. First, pull out your wallet or check book and
send $30.00 U.S. to the Holy Post Office Box:
The SubGenius Foundation
P.O. Box 140306
Dallas, Texas 75214
United States of America
Then sit back and think about the cool SLACK PACK that will be on
its way to you from SubG Central shortly.
If you are still not sure of your SubGenius heritage, check out
the SubSite at:
http://www.subgenius.com/
then send $1.00 to the Holy Post Office Box to get a miniature SLACK PACK.
Remember: If "Bob" hasn't Whiffed your Yeti Pstench on the $$ you
send in, you are STILL Pink in his eyes, and will be DOOMED come
X-Day. Don't delay...say "Yes" to "Bob" today.
3.1) Where can I find more information about how to stop spammers?
First, learn as much as you can about how the Usenet operates.
A good starting point is the Usenet FAQ site at Indiana University:
http://scwww.ucs.indiana.edu/NetRsc/usenet.html
Next, read news.admin.net-abuse.* for a while to get some idea
of the magnitude of the problem and the attitude of the Usenet Gods
toward spammers ("Hate the SPAM, protect the speech" is a good motto).
Next, if you have real interest in helping elevate the Usenet
by forming your own Online Hit Squad for "Bob", just jump right in and
start blasting spammers on alt.binaries.slack. You should first
familiarize yourself with the tools of the trade, which are ELEGANTLY
described at our own BRAND NEW SpuTools® Page:
http://www.sputum.com/sputools.html --New primary site
http://208.199.189.75/sputum/sputools.html -- RadarLabs 23 mirror
http://super.zippo.com/~sputum/ --mirror: "S.P.U.T.U.M. Lite"
Also see C|Net Online's Anti-Spam Article:
http://www.cnet.com/Content/Features/Howto/Spam/ss02.html
Merely a sampling of complaint addresses from the S.P.U.T.U.M. database:
abuse@uu.net or fraud@uu.net or spam-complaint@uu.net
abuse@demon.net
newsmaster@demon.net
postmaster@demon.net
abuse@spry.net
spamcomplaint@mci.net
70006.101@compuserve.com
postmaster@compuserve.com
abuse@compuserve.com
usemail@csi.compuserve.com
newsmaster@compuserve.com
policy@mci.net
abuse@netcom.com or security@netcom.com (for warez trading, etc.)
spam@earthlink.net or abuse@earthlink.net
alert@geocities.com
net-abuse@psi.com
abuse@worldnet.att.net
scrain@aol.net (Scott Crain, AOL/GNN Postmaster)
abuse-email@mindspring.com for email issues
abuse-news@mindspring.com for Usenet/News issues
abuse@mindspring.com for all others
Also see: http://www.elsop.com/wrc/complain.htm for more addresses. We are
not connected to this company.
Other Anti-Spam sites include the most excellent:
http://www.junkemail.org/scamspam/ --NEW! Stop Junk E-Mail Scams!
http://www.blighty.com/spam/spade.html --NEW! "Acme Spammer Finder"
http://www.iswest.com/~howardk/lysander.html --NEW! "Lysander's Site"
http://www.rahul.net/falk/ --NEW! "Ed Falk's Spam Tracking Site"
http://www.stopspam.org/ --NEW! "Stopspam.org"
http://www.ganesha.org/ptb/delenda.html --"Spam Delenda Est!"
http://kryten.eng.monash.edu.au/gspam.html --"Get that Spammer!"
http://www.cauce.org/ --"Coalition Against Unsolicited Commercial E-Mail"
http://spam.abuse.net/spam/ --"The Internet Spam Boycott"
http://www.mcs.com/~jcr/junkemail.html --"John's Stop Junk E-Mail Page"
http://knet.flemingc.on.ca/~surly/junkmail.html --"Shawn's Anti-Junk Page"
http://www.cs.hmc.edu/~ivl/nags/index.html --"Netizens Against Gratuitous Spam"
http://www.compulink.co.uk/~net-services/spam/ --"Spam Hater for Windows"
http://sunsite.unc.edu/~masha/ --"Finding E-mail addresses"
http://www.qucis.queensu.ca/FAQs/email/finding.html --"More E-mail fun"
http://digital.net/~gandalf/spamfaq.html --"The Anti-Spam FAQ"
Thereafter, strap on your newsreader (and browser), and tallyho!
3.2) Can I join S.P.U.T.U.M. huh can I huh huh?
Don't you get it? S.P.U.T.U.M. is as S.P.U.T.U.M. does. Some of
the best weapons in "Bob's" online arsenal are NOT part of the
official S.P.U.T.U.M. network. They are no less worthy of homage in
the eyes of all Right-Left!-Right-thinking SubGenii. Pull up a chair,
pour yourself a cold one, load your favorite virtual 22, and start
plinking at spammers. Make up a number above 153, create an acronym
(or not!), and join the club. There is no special membership requirement,
although one hopes you know how to read headers (see the
"Get that Spammer!" website for a detailed tutorial).
3.3) I just realized I am a maroon. How can I improve my standing in
the eyes of the internet, my girlfriend, and, most importantly,
"Bob"?
Stop spamming and get a life. Oh, and try to brush your teeth more often.
Sheesh.
____________________________________________________________________
IV Dizclaimer
____________________________________________________________________
This FAQ is not an official pronouncement of the Church of the
SubGenius. This FAQ was not approved by the SubGenius Foundation, and
they should not be construed as having any part in it. This FAQ was
reviewed for accuracy by the tiny critters inside my head, who have nodded
sagely and stated, for the record, "Yeriodljknmbvcxwq!". Nobody
paid us squat to write this stuff...much to our chagrin. Trademarks and
copyrights remain the properties of their respective owners. This FAQ will
likely remain incomplete at all times; further enhancement of its
incompleteness is welcomed. This FAQ remains forever and always
the opinion of the authors, and should not be construed to reflect the
opinions, policies, or druthers of anyone or anything else.
Copyright (C) 1997 The SubGenius Police, Usenet Tactical Unit (Mobile)
AKA S.P.U.T.U.M.
All rights reserved. All heads preserved.
Not affiliated with the official SubGenius Foundation.