Consarn it, thinking about "Schoolhouse Rock" and how much trouble
people have with math, I have found yet another deserving victim of
our collective wrath: the American school system.
Oh, it's not that it's a secular humanist institution: actually that's
good. It's not that schools "breed" Normalcy: while they do have
that effect, I don't think it would matter if the most completely
AbNormal teachers were around. No, what makes me mad is how they
can complicate even the most simple concepts, or skip the concepts
themselves and go for rote memorization.
How many of you can recite the Preamble to the Constitution? Now
how many of you can tell me, without having to think about it, what
the Preamble *means*? It's a very meaty sentence, laying out what
the Constitution is supposed to accomplish. Have they ever asked you
to tell you what the Preamble says, or did they just make you recite
it?
How about math class: how many of you understand what sines and
cosines are? The answer is, believe it or not, 100% of you understand
the concept. Looky here: let's look at an angle:
/
/
/
/
----
Now do you agree with me that the diagonal line goes up some amount
and to the right some amount? Well dig dis: All the "sine" function
says is, "give me your angle and how far you went in that direction,
and I'll tell you how far *up* you went." All the "cosine" function
says is, "give me your angle and how far you went in that direction,
and I'll tell you how far *to the right* you went." In other words,
sines and cosines simply break a diagonal line into vertical and
horizontal components. If you walk 10 miles in suchandsuch direction,
and the sine of the angle is 0.5 (read it as "50%"), you end up
5 miles north of where you started. And the cosine of that angle will
be 0.866 (read it as "86.6%"), meaning you end up 8.66 miles east of
where you started. (Sines and cosines can be negative too, meaning
south or west instead of north or east.)
That's all sines and cosines do: they quantify a concept you've
understood since you were three months old, that any straight-line
path can be thought of in vertical and horizontal directions. So
why didn't any of your teachers tell you that?
I have two different theories about this. One is that the Con
makes teaching such a Slackless affair, teachers either don't know
how to simplify things or they simply can't work up the gumption.
(Lord knows, I pity teachers in general and admire those who can
rise above the daily grind.) The other theory is that, by complicating
things unnecessarily, school boards and textbook writers perpetuate
their jobs. In either case, the poor student walks out of class more
confused than ever, and is groomed one more day to perform apparently
meaningless operations. Prepared just a little bit better to serve
the Con.
Knowledge, OTOH, is empowering; and that which empowers, provides
Slack. Even more dangerous to the powers-that-be, is a mind that
can handle concepts better than words. They can snow you with words --
"Bob" knows we've been deluged with people who "explain" how a forced
6.2% unemployment rate is good for us all -- but they can't mangle the
concept in a similar way.
So try to learn. Try to learn about crap you don't think you'll ever
need to know -- at the very least, you'll be able to pass it along to
someone who needs to know it. And, when "they" try to pass off lies
as truth, you'll be in a position to stop it.
Remember: 1998 is not far off. There's still so much more to do!
Plastering Dobbsheads around campus isn't enough. If you can help
people to be just a little more aware, if you can get them to exercise
their minds a bit, you'll be doing far more for the SubGenius cause.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER ... Powerful Pamphlet $1
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Subject: Re: Con indoctrination scheme #43: obfuscation in schools
From: subgstang1@aol.com (SubGStang1)
You're right, Rev. D. It's a damn shame. All these little minds waiting to
be refilled in "Bob," and instead the teachers are forced to learn, use,
and EVEN BELIEVE IN some of the most outlandishly STUPID new-fangled
"teaching systems" you can imagine, depending on how easily the local PTA
and district suits can fall for which company selling which "perfect
system." FORGET just plain old TEACHING! Educators' jargon is so neck-deep
in bullshit that most of 'em can't even remember what plain old ordinary
TEACHING is, where you JUST EXPLAIN THINGS TO THE KIDS and then GIVE 'EM
HELL if they don't PAY ATTENTION. There are teachers in my immediate
family; to hear the educationese, linguistic double-talk, bizarre
superstitions and utter ignorance that the suits and "education experts"
(who never taught a day in their lives) inflict on teachers, most of whom
are as dumb as the next guy -- real dumb -- well, it would just make you
PUKE. And on top of that, the latchkey PARENTS now want the teachers to
"INSTILL VALUES," but without mentioning sex or rubbers of course, SINCE
THEY DON'T HAVE TIME TO BOTHER WITH IT!! Oh, the Conspiracy has it ALL
figured out. Keep both parents WORKING and then PREVENT the TEACHERS from
doing so... THE PERFECT EQUATION!!! But, then, why should I complain? By
the time they graduate, my kids will probably be able to become DOCTORS or
LAWYERS or whatever priesthood of Bullshit Artists that they choose,
without knowing anything about it, SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY CAN READ!
You know how the Pink pundits are always bemaoning our children's
ignorance, and how America is dumbing down? Well, they're SOFT-PEDALLING
IT. They don't know the HALF of it. It's FAR FAR WORSE than they think,
than they DARE to believe, and they won't believe it, even when it's
happening all around them. Hell, I remember when Alex and his Droogs in A
CLOCKWORK ORANGE were SCIENCE FICTION characters -- UNTHINKABLY VIOLENT and
DEVOID OF VALUES. Hell, good old Tony Burgess turns out to have been a
SIMPERING OPTIMIST.
Stang
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Con indoctrination scheme #43: obfuscation in schools
From: will@polecat.law.indiana.edu (Will Sadler)
subgstang1@aol.com (SubGStang1) writes:
> But, then, why should I complain? By
>the time they graduate, my kids will probably be able to become DOCTORS or
>LAWYERS or whatever priesthood of Bullshit Artists that they choose,
>without knowing anything about it, SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY CAN READ!
Uh, Rev. Stang, excuse me, I know I'm not supposed to ask about
things like this, but how old are your children? Will they
have graduated by June 5, 1998? Because after then, according
to Revelation X, they'll all be ruptured and it won't matter
anyway.
The apochrypha *hints* that the Xists *might not come* if
any part of the plan goes afoul. I'm guessing that
you know something we don't... And I'm sure that if
you *did* know that the "Bob's" rendezvous on X-Day was somehow
not going to go through that you would let us all know now,
and return all of the $30 donations ;-) ;-)
Will
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Con indoctrination scheme #43: obfuscation in schools
From: subgstang1@aol.com (SubGStang1)
Oh, I hold an unshakeable faith in X-Day AS PROMISED for the dues-paying
$30 members, on July 5 1998 at 7 am. I'll be Ruptured. I've got my
Membership Card -- ON ME! My name is on the Computer of Life. And no, I
don't blame you for asking, but frankly, we told pretty much all we knew in
REVELATION X, although I'll admit that there was probably a little
guesswork going on.
But my two dear sweet kids apparently don't happen to SHARE the faith of
their hard-working Dad, who supports them and raised them. My KIDS, one of
whom WILL graduate just before X-Day, he BETTER anyway, don't happen to
think that J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is IMPORTANT enough for them to spend $30 on.
Oh, they'll do an HOUR OF SLACK session now and then for a lark, but
they're too busy spending their money on CDs and a SOCIAL LIFE to worry
about their ETERNAL SOULS!! And you think I'm gonna LOAN 'em that $60??
FORGET IT. If they prefer to think old Dad is some kind of NUT CASE, WELL,
LET THEM!! We'll see who's the NUT CASE!!
SPARE THE $30 AND SPOIL THE CHILD, that's what I say.
Rev. Stang
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