Jesus is against prayer in school!

From: wbarwell@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM (William Barwell)
Date: 28 Nov 1994

In article <3bcogn$7cj@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM>,
Ted Krueger <krueger@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM> wrote:
>>>Which liberal liar told you that one?
>>
>>You tell me, Ted: does failure to believe in your god spell an eternity
>>in hell for me, according to the christian dogma?
>
>Probably, but participating in a public prayer has nothing to do with
>it.
>

Ah, the pitfalls of being utterly literal minded.

>How little you know about a religion that you are so afraid of.
>
>Ted

As we last left Ted, He had been challenged to find any verse in the New
Testament that showed Jesus either recommending, commanding,
approving, leading or taking part in massed public prayers such are
envisioned by the supporters of the Prayer in School Amendment.
Well, Ted, it has been nearly a week since you had my challenge. Did you
find any verses supporting public prayer or massed prayer?
No? Matthew 6:5 then is still the operative commands as far as such
prayers, straight from the lips of Jesus himself.

Now Ted, consider the state of the eternal souls of our school chilluns.
You wouldn't want to send' em to Hell by teaching them systematically to
turn their back on Jesus?

Consider this.
When a counterfeiter makes a fake $20 bill, he does not put a picture
of Elvis on the front. Does he? Now if Satan was to try to mislead
huge masses of people, he cannot pass a bad fake, can he?
What better way that snare souls by the tens of millions than by a subtle
but fatal imitation of Christianity? Apparently Satan has succeeded, Ted.
He has come up with a truely fine counterfeit. So fine as matter of fact,
that many, such as you, prefer that counterfeit to the real thing. That
Satanic counterfeit is Public School prayer. Or to be more exact,
regimented public prayer. Meanwhile, Matthew 6:5 lies in the corner,
abandoned. That Satan, ohhhh, he's a tricky one isn't he, Ted!
In the name of Christ, he has enticed tens of millions to abandon Christ!

Now, why are you so eager to ignore my true warnings to you Christians?
Why are you so eager to follow Satan's counterfeit?

Your soul, Ted. Think about your soul, and the souls of America's children.

Pope Charles
SubGenius Pope Of Houston
My. isn't this fun!

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Subject: Re: FUCK JESUS! Was: Re: Jesus is against school Prayer!
From: in87@jove.acs.unt.edu (Gholston J James)

Carlos May (froggy@new-orleans.NeoSoft.com) wrote:
> Randall H. Thatcher (rht3@po.CWRU.Edu) wrote:

> : Look here... Post this tread where it applies. If you can tell me why it
> : belongs in "alt.punk.straight-edge" then go ahead and post there.
> : Otherwise, quit wasting the bandwidth!

> : Oh, I hope you're offended by the subject line.

> Yes I am. I resent you telling me who to fuck. It so happens that I
> have no interest whatsoever in fucking Jesus, as I'm neither homosexual
> nor into necrophilia. [deletia]

[note: TIN won't let me follow-up to a.r.c. and a.p.s-e]

Hey, there's one report that Jesus was a female and that the remains were
promply acquired by the Roman Catholic Church. If true, that removes
half of your objection -- It would be a matter of what the [offspring
indicative noun of indeterminate gender] of Mary would consent to. There
is no definitive historical record, and the religious texts are far less
than clear. There is a very big risk, however, concerning the
prospective father-in-law...

JG

--
Disclaimer: This is not intended as blasphemy -- I am a generic
monotheist who is somewhat annoyed with organized religions that
take their traditions more seriously than God.
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Subject: Jesus is against school!
From: Dr. Philo U. Drummond <71764.777@CompuServe.COM>

Jesus hates school. He especially hates spelling. He shot some
kids for making fun of his spelling.

Personally I think that everyone should be required to pray in
a school. And those of us who have graduated (or gotten or GED)
should have to go back inside the school to pray. It doesn't
matter what Holy Ghosts or Evil Poltergiests you pray to, just so
long as you have to do it in school. I think some of us should
stand there and just watch and supervise the sincerity of
the prayers while the rest of you guys have to bow and scrape in
the hallway with Mrs. Hall my sixth-grade teacher and the others.

"Elitist Nazi" Philo

--
Cleric-In-Chief, Second Authorized MegaFisTemple Lodge of the
Church of the SubGenius / Drummondian

"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies."

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Subject: Re: Jesus is against school!
From: subgstang1@aol.com (SubGStang1)

Some of you probably think he's kidding.

Stang

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Subject: Re: Jesus is against school!
From: nenslo@teleport.com (NENSLO)

: Personally I think that everyone should be required to pray in
: a school.

Mighty Nenslo spent a year and a half in a Baptist High School,
and man, we prayed ALL THE F**KIN TIME IN THAT PLACE, MAN! All damn day,
every goddamn class we started with prayer, an hourlong chapel service
every day, which was basically CHURCH. Every day. AND LOOK AT ME!
In Taiwan all the school kids have to wear UNIFORMS. I think
that's a great idea. I think nobody'd know who was in a "Youth Gang" or
whatever. The first step to getting people to act right is to get them
to BE ALIKE. Then they quit squabbling over trivial crap like did the
Turks massacre the Armenians or did the armenians massacre the turks, and
start OBEYING somebody. We got to get these rowdy kids to BE POLITE, not
play their radios so loud in those shrimply little cars of theirs, dress
nice, no goofy haircuts. Damn.

-N-

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Subject: Re: Jesus is against school!
From: Pictor@delphi.com

"Bob", no, I sure hope he's not kidding. I mean, after all, we are here for
Slack, but that doesn't mean we don't have no Backbone, no Spleen, no Sacred
Hate. You know, if there were no Conspiracy, we would have to invent one. And
then kick its entrails out, just to show it its place.

Pictor@delphi.com

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Subject: Jesus should have been EATEN!!
From: doktor@draco.unm.edu (zakk william zinn)

Well, I think that Christians (and the Big J) shouldnt be thrown to
lions, we should just eat them. Mmmm.....yummmmm, roasted fundie
sprinkled in pink blood. Yum.

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Subject: Re: Jesus should have been EATEN!!
From: MONTYKINS@news.delphi.com (MONTYKINS@DELPHI.COM)

Jesus _was_ eaten. Every Sunday, LOTS of people eat him. When you've got
the munchies, nothing beats the rich taste of Saviour.

-Monty
--
More impressive than the loaves and fishes - one Messiah feeds millions
for millenia!

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Subject: Re: Jesus should have been EATEN!!
From: talysman@jasmine.psyber.com (John Laviolette)

MONTYKINS@DELPHI.COM (MONTYKINS@news.delphi.com) wrote:
: Jesus _was_ eaten. Every Sunday, LOTS of people eat him. When you've got
: the munchies, nothing beats the rich taste of Saviour.

The *savory* taste of Saviour.

--
----John Laviolette---------|-------His Most Feathered Eminence------|
talysman@psyber.com | My CoCo wants to kill |
Sacramento CA USA | your mamaboard! |

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