mtownsend@interramp.com (Michael Townsend) wrote:
> TarlaStar <bmyers@ionet.net> wrote:
>
> >: Okay...I'll admit it. I miss Reverend Stang. When the HELL is he
> >: coming back from his 'round the world tour?
> >:
> >: I also miss Reverend Zowie Wow.(and NENSLO of course)
>
> Yes. Why IS the real Rev. Stang refraining from appearing in alt.slack?
> (He did return from his tour -- SHAVED BALD!) And what REALLY happened to
> Nenslo's internet account? And why has the FBI reopened the Jane Dobbs
> murder case after all these years? Stay tuned, oh faithful ones, for new
> revelations that will make "X" look like a Kool-Aid party...
> --
> >>>Dad's Fabulous Tape Exchange<<<
> **Send a tape. Get a tape. It's that easy!**
> Mail to: Dad's New Slacks - P.O. Box 4272 -
> Portland, Maine 04101-4272
> ::::or email me for more info:::::
Yes, you SHOULD send a tape to Dad. Better, send him MONEY for a VIRTUAL tape.
Well, now that my enemies are vanquished, perhaps I can explain. I was
strolling through a dark alley in my top hat and tux, minding my own
business, just a regular guy, when my bodyguards were jumped by thugs who
I am sure must have been agents of Buck Naked and Bob Black, and I was
kidnapped and tortured in a car trunk (license # UWA 765, Texas) from Feb.
23 to March 1. But they were amateurs... peasants... their puny modes of
torture were insufficient to make me "cum," much less divulge my Metronet
password. Then I... MY GOD THEY'RE BACK, I-- ULP! -- *gghhgh*...
NAW, just kidding. It's just been a really hectic week, is all. I have a
GIGANTIC report on my travels mainly written, which will no doubt ENTHRALL
EVERYBODY TO HELL AND BACK, but first I need to go through it one last
time and edit out any last traces of peevishness, hatefulness and slander.
Trying to maintain one's DIGNITY in this PIGSTY-LIKE MILIEU is NOT EASY.
Thank Gag I don't have to edit out the ponderous longwindedness of the
12-page document... nor the nepotistic plugs for my evil buddies and
cohorts.
Speaking of which, WHY AREN'T YOU ALL SENDING NENSLO THAT ONE MEASLY BUCK
HE REQUESTED, so that he can AFFORD to do his thing? I DID!! And what
about DAD'S TAPES?
Jeez.
Skank.
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Subject: Re: Stangy-Boy etc.
From: Sternodox <glatter@delphi.com>
Curious you should ask that particular question. I was over to Rev.
Stang's house the other night and, wouldn't you know it, he had a cae
(case?, cavpse? casspe? caspe?) of Ginger Beer coolin' down out back.
Now, as you well know, slugs just love ginger beer. Well, before you
could say, "Arthur P. Schmedlap has a gnat in his shit canal," Rev. Stang
has poured me a big "ol heapin' mess of ginger beer all over m'moonie
splitter. Since I know Stang, I knew he'd previously drilled a hole in
the flooring of that new deck and I, no sooner than I'd crapped a snide
"Bob", inserted my MEMBER into the hole and, with the ginger beer all
over that BLUE-VEINED THROBBER, those fucking slugs virtually ATTACKED the
business end of my TRUTH and the excretions literally got me GOIN'! I mean
I 'bout CREAMED, man! But then his next door neighbor came over, and she's a
Federal AGENT or some shit, so I had to pull OUT and never even got OFF!
Sheeeeeeiit!
Rev. Spermoslugz
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Subject: Re: Stangy-Boy etc.
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski) wrote:
>
> Well, they must have done SOMEdamnthing to your Metronet account. It won't
> accept e-mail.
>
Try again. It was clogged up for about a day because somebody tried to
send me too many programs at once. (At my request.) It's fixed now.
The downspout into my email-hole gets blocked if more than one or two big
files or program gets sent. This time I learned how to telnet the server
and unclog it myself. The old electronic roto-rooter. Just run that
"snake" down the wires and YANK THAT SHIT RIGHT OUT. It's usually just a
smelly old rag, once you get to it and find out what it is.
Rev. Stang
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Subject: Re: Stangy-Boy etc.
From: clavis@phantom.com (Grand Clavister)
Sternodox (glatter@delphi.com) wrote:
: Curious you should ask that particular question. I was over to Rev.
: Stang's house the other night and, wouldn't you know it, he had a cae
: (case?, cavpse? casspe? caspe?) of Ginger Beer coolin' down out back.
(Sterno dots deserted)
:business end of my TRUTH and the excretions literally got me GOIN'! I mean
:I 'bout CREAMED, man! But then his next door neighbor came over, and she's a
:Federal AGENT or some shit, so I had to pull OUT and never even got OFF!
:Sheeeeeeiit!
:Rev. Spermoslugz
That reminds me of the time I decided to throw a barbeque party for a
bunch of friends I had recently "divorced". I easily convinced them that
I wanted to "bury the hat shit", and that they should come over for some
broo skiis and barbie cued meat! (They did.) Well, nothing makes slugs
happier than an open beer can, and nothing makes beer colder than being
left out overnight in the garden!
I left these shitters out of the mix until my ex-friends had had had had
about 6-7 Buds (or some other such pisswater that I had bought cheap, and
they REALLLY loved it), and, suddenly, I handed them these SPECIAL beers,
and told them to "have a few slugs"!!!
Afterwards, when they had passed out, I took them up into the garage
attic, and tied them to:
1. the old exerbike
2. The old plastic xmas tree (back from 20 years ago, when they built 'em
strong!)
3. A picnic table
4. A moose carcass
5. (This guy had aspirated on his own vomit. I tied
6. THIS guy to HIM!)
7. My penis.
Then I proceeded to burn them, plane them, skewer them, and then I got
out the tools! (Up until then, I was using my newly-discovered Patented
COCK-POWERS!! ) But that's another story...
Clavis
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