By DOBBS' HAIRY KNUCKLES Yetikin, we have AWAKENED and CRAWLED OUT
of the Belly of the Beast. Yea, we have passed ourselves through the
FIRES of HATE that we might be TEMPERED into TOOLS for "Bob". Not
unscathed, but undaunted, we emerge from our TRIAL by
SELF-DESTRUCTION, ready to face the enemy of Yetinsyny, the
CONspiracy of Normalcy.
HEED the words of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, children when he says "I WILL
NOT GO DOWN!" And we need not GO down before them. We can never
win, for we require them to keep us pure. But we need not LOSE,
individually or as a race.
Where is it written that the CON always triumphs? Several places,
right? Is it not also written that ANYTHING a SubGenius minister
says is TRUTH? IT DOES say that. And so I say to you that they
DO NOT triumph, and so create a new gospel.
It is in this way that they CANNOT beat us. They require ONE TRUTH,
where we may have several. They require ONE GOD, where we may have
a number fluctuating wildly between infinity and negative imaginary
numbers. They require ONE LEADER, and WE dear Yetikin, may be leaders,
EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US.
We can shoot off in RANDOM DIRECTIONS under SELF-UNCONTROL, and they
cannot track us or even read the maps we ignore as we fly blindly in
the face of their precious reality. We can dispel the sympathetic
magic of their Laws of Man and God with the flip of a finger, and
RECREATE THE UNIVERSE ANEW with our Faith In "Bob". And there ain't
a damn thing they can do about it but bitch.
WHICH WAY would you have it children, One Way Linear Entropic
Destructionism? Or ANYDAMNWAY Random Rampant WRECKREATION? We
RE-CREATE for recreation, we make reality for the FUN of it.
We have but TWO YEARS to collect enough souls for "Bob" to buy off
the X-ists. While frying pinks may sounds like a grand idea and
a great way to unwind, shall we not consider putting evolution
BACK ON TRACK? Is it not time that we correct the mistakes of our
foreYeti and reclaim our rightful place as the SMOKE BELCHING
LOCOMOTIVE of the EVOLUTIONARY SOUL TRAIN?
TWO YEARS is all we have. We've spent the last year HATING and BITING
and FULL WAIL HELL BEATING each other. We've spent the last getting
OVER that.
I say we're ready. I saw we BUILD UP SOME STEAM and POP the CLUTCH on
this thing and SAVE the WORLD -- FOR US. Why wait for the X-ists? We
have enough HELLFIRE RANTPOWER just running at IDLE to shame a whole
TENT full of GOSP-HELL evangelists.
I say it's time. Before the urge to bite BITES US again with no
PROPER flesh to sink our teeth into.
I say we CONSUME the Pink World for "Bob" and SPIT OUT SEEDS of
DESTRUCTO-RECREATION, and as WE SEW, so shall THEY WEEP.
Children, it's time.
Point this thing at the Heart of the CON.
"Let's do it." -- Garry Gilmore's last words.
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