THE SONG THAT REFUSED TO DIE

Rev. Ivan Stang & Dr. Philo Drummond

It's the song that refuses to die
The song that cannot die
It wants to die
It wanted to die so bad...it wanted to die so bad, but it just... COULDN'T DIE.
As soon as one drummer died, another one would just pick up the fitful beat
until pretty soon, omigod, the song came back!
Nobody wanted it; god almighty
They coulda used some sleep; but the song refused to die.
The song started 2 years ago, but STILL, STILL it REFUSED to die.
It wasn't a very pretty song;
you couldn't even call it an interesting song.
But it was unfortunately an immortal song.
All it'd do was keep going and going.
Every now and then it would take on some semblance of an emotional tone.
But then somebody would get on mike who couldn't even sing... then it would just go splinter into a Sargational Sea of sound... and maybe even a happy little emotional song... and then it'd start getting murky again.
And people hoped it would be able to die.
But it kept twitching... its heart wouldn't give up...
It might have been a nice song to begin with, in some remote time, but now it JUST WOULDN'T DIE.
Just when you thought that it'd given up, it would SCREAM! ... and just keep getting uglier and uglier.
Every now and then somebody would come along and try to explain it... but then he'd die, or get tired of it...
It went through 3 generations of musicians... all the musicians who'd started playing the song are dead. But not the SONG -- OH NO!!
That ol' song ain't gonna die, no sireee! Oh you can PRAY for the song to die...You can call up your Mom and say OH MOM, MAKE THE SONG DIE!!... MY EARS HURT, MOM!
But it just gets LOUDER and LOUDER and LOUDER...
it's like it wants to hurt you. And just when you thought it was over, when you thought it'd killed you, OH GOD, it brings YOU back to life! OH NO!!! Not only does the SONG not die, YOU don't even get to die. You just have to keep listening and listening!
Oh, a guitarist might die, but someone else would come along..
Maybe they'd try to kill it but NO... the song would just keep playing and playing itself, "THE SONG THAT REFUSED... to DIE..." (etc.etc.)
((slows down))
What -- is it dead? Is it DEAD YET?? Is the song dead yet? NO? AAAHHHH!
The drums were broken, but that wouldn't stop the SONG, unh-UNH! The power went out -- you think that's gonna stop the song? Whoo, YOU WISH!!
"The song that refused to DIEEEE"
Bullets couldn't stop it; flamethrowers couldn't stop it... the nuclear bomb, the harmonic convergence, they tried everything they could think of, but the SONG REFUSED to DIE. It continued to LIVE, relentlessly tearing into our eardrums.
You think it's dead? Unh-UNH ferGET IT! Oh, this song's gonna be around LONG after YOU'RE dead and gone, boy!
Listen... its heart beats... OH NO! FIBRILATIONS! Has the pain ended? OH GOD no... look at that EEG -- it's incredible that it could be in a coma for this long, yet still go on and on...and not... DIE!!!
New shoes wouldn't stop it! Clean socks wouldn't stop it!
They tried to clean up the song and make it feel good about itself,... they thought maybe then it would be ready for death. Maybe just a sense of bitterness was keeping it FROM dieing. But NOooo... that ol' song kept going on...
Go ahead, try to kill it. Go ahead, TRY.
Oh, they could cripple the song... they could slow it down...They could really HURT the song. They cut three of its legs off. But look at it now, still trottin' along, easy as can be. It doesn't care what you think about it... that ol' song keeps going.
Nobody knows the words to it... my grandfather knew the words, but he's dead now... they say the aliens dropped the song here, trying to get rid of it...
They dammaged the song, but it just hid in a hole until it HEALED UP...then it'd come back, LOUDER than EVER, and hurt everybody's ears again.
When they pulled the plug on it, it just stumbled around, but never quite died down. Just turned into sort of an accoustic song.
So they gave up on that... it still walks the earth... roamin' the countryside, never know where it'll go next...
If it knocks at the door, for God's sake don't let it in... Tell your kids to stay away from the song... Don't worry about your neighborhood; property values go back up after the song LEAVES...
But the song never stops. IT NEVER STOPS!!
Sometimes the only lyrics to the song were thousands of people in torment screaming, "IT NEVER STOPS, IT NEVER STOPS!!!"
HOW CAN YOU KILL A SONG THAT'S ALREADY DEAD?? It shambles on with an unholy life of its own. It's lived for centuries... but it can't stop killing!
It wouldn't move aside for GOOD songs... there were lovely songs in this country once, LOOK AT THEM NOW... this empty husk was once a decent song... its life force sapped away by the song that refused to die.
Centuries in the making: the song that refused to die.
Maybe someday a way to stop this song will be invented.
Uh-oh, here it goes again, looks like it's getting riled up, gettin' angry...OH, musta said something wrong. NOW it's gonna kill me!! But it WON'T. It won't stop, it NEVER STOPS... just gets uglier and uglier, more pitiful, more pathetic!
IT WON'T DIE!
Whole religions were formed to try to stop the song.
But you know what happened... it never stopped.
It didn't have a brain... not even a face... the SONG WITH NO FACE... it sort of had a hind brain that kept it going...
See what I mean?
Go on up there and try to stop that song, perfessor! "No, we must try to communicate with the song! It could tell science many things!" "Well, go on up there Mr. Proffessor!" ((ZAP sound effect, screams))
Eggheads came up with all kinds of new devices, trying to shut down that song, but all that happened was, the devices got used against people in other countries 'cause the public decided, OH, the IRANIANS must've started the song! The RUSSIANS must've started it! WORLD WARS were started over WHO was TO BLAME for the song!
Monks burned themselves, that wouldn't stop it. Human sacrifices wouldn't stop it...
Musicians would all put their instruments down, hoping their total absence would stop the song. 'FRAID NOT!

You couldn't hide from the song...
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@=++/-^^-8@it's like it wants to hurt you. And just when you thought it was over when you thought it'd killed you, OH GOD, it;<x^^^^! OH NO!!! Not only does the SONG not die, YOU don't even get to die. You just have to keep listening a
â2itarist might die, but someone else would come along..
Maybe they'd try to kill it but NO... the song woul

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Song that Refused to Die