HOUR OF SLACK 649

This particular show was editted while under the influence of Hydrocodone, some kind of potent pain-killer, on account of yesterday I had surgery for a deviated septum, and underwent a snot amputation. I'm not bragging, but I think the narcotics and nasal splints may have affected the production. I had to re-annuciate the credits and contact info with 15 yards of packing material crammed up inside my newly cored-out sinuses. The Hydrocodone has not been debilitating ENOUGH, however, darn it, although I think it let me make some equalization screw-ups.

The skull operation turned out not to be particularly painful. The biggest problem is that staying out of bed for too long causes gouts of gore to spray out of my nose. I'm now like my faithful, diseased old dog Beast, in that respect. But unlike Beast I can refrain from licking the dressings off my snout. Theoretically, having new drain-holes bored in my skull will scare away vertigo attacks. That's what the man in the scary mask and the headress says, anyway.

SIDE ONE

POLYCARP fx clip, Moreau end: "Stay, Douglas!"/KPFA Hal: "Hog Futures Farm Report", "Hal's Sleazy SubGenius Show Intro" (from HoS Intros collage)

TITLE,

Moreau/Stang "To Go on Two Legs Is Very Hard. Maybe Four Is Better"

HoS WorkTape 61 mb: chants, Johnny sang One-Note

ESO/HoS VOL. 7: "God of Solid Fuel Boosters" (End side A) Countdown collage; "Fireball XL-5" song w/ Chas-over

POLYCARP: "When I'm Feeling Blue" (Whifflefish, PO 33561 Raleigh NC 27636)

COMBUSTIBLE EDISON "Hot & Bothered"

Stangover: Credits, PO Boxes -- speaking with sinuses packed, discusses show contents

Collage from HoS WorkTape 61/Media Barrage 5 clips: "You Misguided Martyr" "Not Me", Yes clip, FX

ESO/HoS Vol. 6 (end side 0ne) "RadioOO" "Lonesome Cowboy Dave Alley and Prairie Squid," "BOB"/Coke/Real-Thing COLLAGE-LOOP

HoS 61 : "Good God" loop/ "Bob's" Dad and Son "Bob" Sex-Education Tape!!/ Diamanda Galas "I Am to Come I Was" / REPRODUCTION CYCLE soundtrack excerpt / women/sex/koala-bears/"Bob" and Dad horsing around/

ESO Vol 7 Side2 -- Prairie Squid hoedown, Slinky, Flipper slimey, Wei Giggle... "Some Call It Freedom, I Call it Slack, MMmmm",

REV. SUSIE THE FLOOZIE collage from her SLACK special "Bob's" Slacktime Funhouse: JAW-DROPPING SLACK and BLEEDING HEAD OF ARNOLD PALMER collage!! Real 911 #; 999; Wedgie is great Club; "Bob" and Arnie; Opium Champion; The Bloody Head he was banging up and down! / Tray fulla HEAD! preacher!? Simpsons: The Head is Cool/ Hal on HEAD from ARISE/ Head Launch clips; "Bob" and Wedge tips; More than Luck; "CONNIE DEAR"

H-61, Bahai radio, "THE MARTYRDOM OF THE BAAB"

HEMORRHOY ROGERS "I Am Retarded"

ESO 8-27-98 Wei, Dave & Bleepo: "Hold the Lard Light Higher! I'm coming into the Lard!"

Song off Susie slack show, "Let It All Hang Out"

SIDE TWO

ESO/HoS Vo. 6 (S-2) "Cumming is Believing" lines

IRREV. FRIDAY JONES: "Bob" Is All Around You

H-61 Bahai "The BAAB"

KPFA Hal Robins and Puzzling Evidence: "The Way of the Mogathu"

LUCIFERIAN LIBERATION FRONT clip from X-Day rants, "G.O.D."

HEMORRHOY ROGERS "Can't Go to the Bathroom"

MELBA'S SONIC MILITIA prank call "Melba In Dallas" (from Sonic Damn Nation, prank calls to Xian stations CD)

ESO/HoS Vol 6: MB "We'll All Die" "Seagulls Outside the Station, Spiders" "Princess Wei-Gull", Oz clips, James Mason "Powers of thought dormant"/ LCDave on Accursed; flashback clip; "Brushwood was so awful, all those naked babes -- Bummer; Best to Watch TV Instead", TV Theme collage.

HEMORRHOY ROGERS: "You Are The Tard"

REAGAN'S POLYP: "Plastic People" (F. Zappa)

Credits, PO boxes

ESO 8-27-98 Bleepo -- Why Do We Assume Heads, Legs? Perhaps Geet is the Way the Light of Our Lord Shines..."

SUSIE THE FLOOZIE Slack Collage: Heaven's Gate DO; JHVH Hates Phred clips: Ivan Stang imitation, Phred cult pudding rant, JONESTOWN clips!! Don't Rupture Satan, J-Hates-Phred "Hey Bob", / Take Him to Malaysia! / Douglas Heads in Sacks!

Stang credits

STRANGE and LEGUME on WMUH -- "Texas Religious Nuts and Invisible Monsters"

ESO Vol 6: "Live and Let Live", "Ivancaustics and F-U-menicals"

NEGATIVLAND: "Black Hole Tube" (from Happy Heroes)

POLYCARP "Worms"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Path: spln!extra.newsguy.com!newsp.newsguy.com!i.stang
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack,alt.slack
Subject: Re: Hour of Slack 649
Date: Fri, 25 Sep 1998 04:56:06 -0600
Organization: The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
Lines: 54
Message-ID: <i.stang-ya02408000R2509980456060001@enews.newsguy.com>
References: <i.stang-ya02408000R1709981952080001@enews.newsguy.com> <3603DDFD.F229AF88@wilmington.net> <6u0f3s$4i0@news-central.tiac.net> <i.stang-ya02408000R2109981449050001@enews.newsguy.com> <6u8lv3$o8g@enews3.newsguy.com>
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In article <6u8lv3$o8g@enews3.newsguy.com>, bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) wrote:

> i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:
>
>
> >Tomorrow is the big moment I've been awaiting, where they yank out the
> >yards of gauze packing and the plastic splints, and flush out the whole
> >area. It promises to be extremely painful. But by GOBBS I can't wait! It's
> >like a whole new lease on life. It means I'll no longer hear the PIGEONS
> >that have COOED CEASELESSLY in my right ear for the last 10 years or so.
>
> When I was a little girl I would have to see the ENT guy every year
> after a summer of swimming. He'd pack my sinuses with those two foot
> long cotton gauze bandages soaked in some sort of medicine and sit me
> under a heat lamp. Then, after I'd soaked a bit, he'd pull it all out
> (which was an amazing sensation) and go up there after the
> now-loosened snot with a giant turkey baster affair. The man would
> suction up gallons of snot out of my head every damned year. It was
> amazing. I was actually sort of proud to be able to PRODUCE that much
> crap much less have the cranial space to store it.
>
> I hope they use the turkey baster on you, Stanky. That way you'll
> actually get to SEE what they're sucking out of you.

Oh, I saw it all right. The worst way. Tuesday night, after they yanked the
splints and tubes, I slept soundly -- SWALLOWING GOUTS OF BLOOD AND SNOT
ALL THE WHILE. I awoke with a horrible fever, ran to the pot, SAT DOWN, and
THEN SUDDENLY BOOTED, spontaneously puked HIDEOUS BLACK ICHOR and
leech-like slabs of congealed gore all over my OWN LAP, my legs, my drawers
down around my ankles, the bathroom carpet, the toilet seat. When the
second heave came I managed to direct it more between my legs so as to save
the carpet. I dry-heaved for awhile until I "willed" the spasming to stop.
Then I showered and went back to bed, sweating and shivering. I passed out
and swallowed more gore and next I was puking into the bucket again. I
spent all Wednesday watching The Cartoon Network and trying not to swallow
but puking.

Later in the day, the bleeding sores finally turned to crusty scabs, so now
it's Scab City in there for a week or so. I can breathe through both
nostrils but it WHISTLES, depending on the type of scab formations that
happen to be in there at the time.

Is that enough about what they were sucking out of me?

I was fine today. Did two radio shows, mine and a live ESO. I preached
RIGHT THROUGH the bandages, blood droplets flyin' all over the studio with
each holy Dobbs-driven expectoration!!

--
Copyright 1998 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Path: spln!extra.newsguy.com!lotsanews.com!newsfeed.direct.ca!news-feed1.tiac.net!posterchild2!friday
From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack,alt.slack,alt.friday
Subject: Re: Hour of Slack 649
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1998 00:00:19 -0400
Organization: PARTS
Lines: 33
Message-ID: <friday-ya02408000R2609980000190001@news.tiac.net>
References: <i.stang-ya02408000R1709981952080001@enews.newsguy.com> <3603DDFD.F229AF88@wilmington.net> <6u0f3s$4i0@news-central.tiac.net> <i.stang-ya02408000R2109981449050001@enews.newsguy.com> <6u8lv3$o8g@enews3.newsguy.com> <i.stang-ya02408000R2509980456060001@enews.newsguy.com> <6uh12r$pd6$1@news1.Radix.Net> <6uh2j9$sf1@enews1.newsguy.com>
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In article <6uh2j9$sf1@enews1.newsguy.com>, p-lil@ZubJenius.com (Popess
Lilith von Fraumench) wrote:

>On the eve of 25 Sep 1998 21:14:03 GMT, in the Temple of
><6uh12r$pd6$1@news1.Radix.Net>, revjack@radix.net bellowed forth across the
>wasteland:
>>
>>Previously, Rev. Ivan Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
>>
>>:Oh, I saw it all right. The worst way. Tuesday night, after they yanked the
>>:splints and tubes, I slept soundly -- SWALLOWING GOUTS OF BLOOD AND SNOT
>>:ALL THE WHILE. I awoke with a horrible fever, ran to the pot, SAT DOWN, and
>>:THEN SUDDENLY BOOTED, spontaneously puked HIDEOUS BLACK ICHOR and
>>:leech-like slabs of congealed gore all over my OWN LAP, my legs, my drawers
>>:down around my ankles, the bathroom carpet, the toilet seat. When the
>>:second heave came I managed to direct it more between my legs so as to save
>>:the carpet. I dry-heaved for awhile until I "willed" the spasming to stop.
>>:Then I showered and went back to bed, sweating and shivering. I passed out
>>:and swallowed more gore and next I was puking into the bucket again. I
>>:spent all Wednesday watching The Cartoon Network and trying not to swallow
>>:but puking.
>>
>>Did anyone else wank furiously while reading this?
>
>Did anyone NOT wank furiously while reading this?
>

I puked.

THEN I wanked.

--
Visit alt.friday!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Path: spln!extra.newsguy.com!newsp.newsguy.com!i.stang
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack
Subject: Re: - stangbloodanim.gif (1/1) Re: Hour of Slack 649
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1998 12:15:50 -0600
Organization: The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
Lines: 25
Message-ID: <i.stang-ya02408000R2609981215500001@enews.newsguy.com>
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In article <360db968.595784@read.news.global.net.uk>, imbjr@geocities.com
(IMBJR) wrote:

> On Fri, 25 Sep 1998 19:30:19 -0600, i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan
> Stang) wrote:
>
> Every website should have one.

Not everyone has a Gal Friday who makes loving homages to one's every
disease, ailment, flaw and folly! She was even more fond of the LUMP that I
had removed from my forehead.

I can't wait until she's my age and her previously healthy organs start to
fall apart too... payback will be sweet! I'll have each of her useless
amputated organ mounted in formaldehyde after they're taken from her one by
one, and we'll have a whole museum of 'em next to the Texas Schoolbook
Depository downtown. I'll wheel her through there in her wheelchair someday
-- MARK MY WORDS!

--
Copyright 1998 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack

----------------------------------------------------------------------

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From: "IMBJR" <imbjr@geocities.com>
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack
Subject: Re: - stangbloodanim.gif (1/1) Re: Hour of Slack 649
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1998 19:04:28 +0100
Organization: The Industrial Complex
Lines: 19
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Rev. Ivan Stang wrote in message ...
>In article <360db968.595784@read.news.global.net.uk>, imbjr@geocities.com
>(IMBJR) wrote:
>
>
>I can't wait until she's my age and her previously healthy organs start to
>fall apart too... payback will be sweet! I'll have each of her useless
>amputated organ mounted in formaldehyde after they're taken from her one by
>one, and we'll have a whole museum of 'em next to the Texas Schoolbook
>Depository downtown. I'll wheel her through there in her wheelchair someday
>-- MARK MY WORDS!
>
>--

I surprised you didn't mention the sexual possibilities of such a scenario.
I shall lock myself away and imagine them for you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

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From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack
Subject: Re: - stangbloodanim.gif (1/1) Re: Hour of Slack 649
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1998 11:31:56 -0400
Organization: PARTS
Lines: 32
Message-ID: <friday-ya02408000R2709981131560001@news.tiac.net>
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In article <i.stang-ya02408000R2609981215500001@enews.newsguy.com>,
i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:

>In article <360db968.595784@read.news.global.net.uk>, imbjr@geocities.com
>(IMBJR) wrote:
>
>> On Fri, 25 Sep 1998 19:30:19 -0600, i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan
>> Stang) wrote:
>>
>> Every website should have one.
>
>Not everyone has a Gal Friday who makes loving homages to one's every
>disease, ailment, flaw and folly! She was even more fond of the LUMP that I
>had removed from my forehead.
>
>I can't wait until she's my age and her previously healthy organs start to
>fall apart too... payback will be sweet! I'll have each of her useless
>amputated organ mounted in formaldehyde after they're taken from her one by
>one, and we'll have a whole museum of 'em next to the Texas Schoolbook
>Depository downtown. I'll wheel her through there in her wheelchair someday
>-- MARK MY WORDS!

Nonsense! I've already started discarding organs that no longer please me,
or ones that I've grown superior substitutes for. The triple-cervical-head
pussy, for example, could easily be excised now that I have the
retracting-cervical-head-pussy-with-nine-configurations.
And, I can send over RIGHT NOW six wisdom teeth, twelve feet of lower
intestine (replaced with Teflon tubing) and an ovary/testicle mix that just
never panned out the way I thought it would.

--
Visit alt.friday!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Path: spln!extra.newsguy.com!newsp.newsguy.com!enews1
From: p-lil@ZubJenius.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack
Subject: Re: - stangbloodanim.gif (1/1) Re: Hour of Slack 649
Date: 28 Sep 1998 15:40:21 GMT
Organization: Fools' Press
Lines: 20
Message-ID: <6uoal5$g42@enews1.newsguy.com>
References: <i.stang-ya02408000R1709981952080001@enews.newsguy.com> <3603DDFD.F229AF88@wilmington.net> <6u0f3s$4i0@news-central.tiac.net> <i.stang-ya02408000R2109981449050001@enews.newsguy.com> <6u8lv3$o8g@enews3.newsguy.com> <i.stang-ya02408000R2509980456060001@enews.newsguy.com> <6ug3f2$h8a@enews2.newsguy.com> <87iuic5b7r.fsf@cuthulu.prysm.net> <i.stang-ya02408000R2509981930190001@enews.newsguy.com> <360db968.595784@read.news.global.net.uk> <i.stang-ya02408000R2609981215500001@enews.newsguy.com> <friday-ya02408000R2709981131560001@news.tiac.net>
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On the eve of Sun, 27 Sep 1998 11:31:56 -0400, in the Temple of
<friday-ya02408000R2709981131560001@news.tiac.net>, friday@subgenius.com
bellowed forth across the wasteland:
>
>And, I can send over RIGHT NOW six wisdom teeth, twelve feet of lower
>intestine (replaced with Teflon tubing) and an ovary/testicle mix that just
>never panned out the way I thought it would.

Could you save some of that ovary/testicle mix? I bet I can hook its fangs over
a juice glass and milk it for bag balm.

P.Lil

--
|Reverend Doktor Saint Popess| Fools' Press |
| Lilith von Fraumench, Esq. | 1122 E Pike St, #769 |
| Hangnail Of the Stark Fist | Seattle, WA 98122-3934 |
| Sadomasticist At Large | http://bounce.to/p-lil |

----------------------------------------------------------------------

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From: Pee Kitty <Pkitty@voyager.cris.com>
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack,alt.slack
Subject: Re: Hour of Slack 649
Date: 26 Sep 1998 19:20:53 PDT
Organization: Dobbstown Sane Asylum
Lines: 39
Message-ID: <6uk7e5$mg8@chronicle.concentric.net>
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In alt.slack Rev. Ivan Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
> I awoke with a horrible fever, ran to the pot, SAT DOWN, and
> THEN SUDDENLY BOOTED, spontaneously puked HIDEOUS BLACK ICHOR and
> leech-like slabs of congealed gore all over my OWN LAP, my legs, my drawers
> down around my ankles, the bathroom carpet, the toilet seat. When the
> second heave came I managed to direct it more between my legs so as to save
> the carpet. I dry-heaved for awhile until I "willed" the spasming to stop.
> Then I showered and went back to bed, sweating and shivering. I passed out
> and swallowed more gore and next I was puking into the bucket again. I
> spent all Wednesday watching The Cartoon Network and trying not to swallow
> but puking.

GIFZ!!!!! GIFZ!!!!!

> I was fine today. Did two radio shows, mine and a live ESO. I preached
> RIGHT THROUGH the bandages, blood droplets flyin' all over the studio with
> each holy Dobbs-driven expectoration!!

Ivan, we honestly do *not* kiss your ass enough. You are a fucking FRONT
LINE SOLDIER for Slack, forging ahead even after your limbs are blown off
by a stray land mine, leading the platoon towards an uncertain victory.
You are my current ShorDurPerSav. You rule. You look really good lately,
too; we were talking about that on IRC - every year, you get in better
shape and more cult-leader-with-mega-charisma looking. You write well. You
have good taste in clothing. You vomit black ichor and live to tell about
it - 99.9% of the people who vomit black ichor just up and DIE, but not
you! You have an incredible wife. You put up with our constant defiling of
your family on IRC because you know we love you. And at XX-Day, I am
PERSONALLY going to see that EVERY PERSON THERE lines up in front of your
trailer and gives you a long, sloppy blow job because man, YOU FUCKING
DESERVE IT. It's Miller Time, baby!

--

Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian
Meow!

::: Thinking about a Tampa Bay Devival in the future - email me!
::: Or go to http://www.cris.com/~pkitty (hell, go there anyways!)

Original file name: HoS 649

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