YOU ARE INVOLVED WITH A RELIGIOUS CULT.

YOU FOUNDED THE CULT AS A MEANS OF CRITIQUING ORGANIZED RELIGION, WITH THE IDEA THAT IT WOULD ONLY EXIST ON PAPER. IT STARTED OUT AS A JOKE AT FIRST, BUT SOON TURNED SERIOUS AS THOUSANDS OF PATHETIC INDIVIDUALS BEGAN TO CLING TO YOU AND YOUR CLOSE FRIENDS FOR SUPPORT AND COMFORT. THE HEAD OF YOUR CULT IS NOT EVEN REAL. YOU MADE HIM UP BUT NOBODY AROUND YOU SEEMS TO BELIEVE IT.

MORE AND MORE PEOPLE JOIN YOUR CULT EVERY DAY BUT YOU NEVER SEEM TO HAVE ANY MONEY TO SHOW FOR ALL THE WORK YOU NOW FIND YOURSELF BURDENED WITH. YOUR FRIENDS PROMISE RICHES AND WEALTH FOR ANY WHO JOIN AND YOUR RECRUITS DEMAND THEIR DUE FROM YOU, EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO ANY OF THEM ARE OR WHAT THEY ARE LIKE.

YOU GO TO A LAWYER TO SEEK COPYRIGHT AND LIABILITY PROTECTION FOR YOUR JOKE CULT BUT ARE INSTEAD INFORMED THAT YOU NOW HAVE A LEGAL OBLIGATION TO DELIVER ON ALL THE PROMISES YOUR FRIENDS MADE TO THE CULT MEMBERS OR FACE FRAUD CHARGES. IN ADDITION, YOU ARE NOW RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY "OFFICIAL' CHURCH ACTIVITY TAKEN BY MEMBERS, EVEN IF YOU ARE UNAWARE OF SAID ACTIVITIES. THE IRS NOW NOTICES YOU AND, SINCE YOU ARE NOT AN OFFICIALY TAX EXEMPT CHURCH, DEMANDS AN AUDIT OF YOUR CULT FINANCES.

YOU ARE DRIVING TO THE POST OFFICE IN A DISTRAUGHT STATE OF MIND TO PICK UP EVEN MORE APPLICATIONS FOR MEMBERSHIP. YOU ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION WHEN A MIDDLE-AGED MAN IN A BUSINESS SUIT STEPS OUT FROM BETWEEN TWO PARKED CARS.

JUST BEFORE YOU HIT HIM YOU NOTICE, OR SEEM TO THINK YOU NOTICE, THAT THIS MAN LOOKS IDENTICAL TO THE FICTIONAL FIGUREHEAD OF YOUR CULT.

YOU FEEL YOUR CAR RUN OVER THE MAN.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

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