Dr. Ahmed Fishmonger
THE ALL-TOO-REAL DREAMS

Dream 1

  1. Praise be to "BOB," bringer of Slack, true saint of sales, most brilliant sex god, prime communicant'of the forbidden mysteries and our guide on the nameless mission.
  2. It was in the second year of the regime of President Ron, that the visions came to me.
  3. In the world of dreams, as real as the conspirator's "reality," I was illuminated.
  4. Dream the first. . . .
  5. I stood on a dusty plain, the cities, towns, factories, farms and all other works of man folded up toward the sky, forming the entire world into a gigantic bowl.
  6. The sky was a tiny disk of blue and clouds concentrated above my head.
  7. At the center was the sun.
  8. He smoked and smiled and winked.
  9. And LO, the clouds became like unto the shape and form of a whirl- pool spinning into a common center, and they were like the shape and form of a vortex in every way.
  10. And out of the whirlpool came great shining ships of the sky.
  11. And their shape was like unto lentils and yet in no way were they of a beanlike nature.
  12. And they meant me the greatest harm.
  13. And as they came to me with great malice I yet felt safe.
  14. I saw a great wonder, the smoke of the great Pipe of the sun covered me and the great ships of the sky could not pass it.
  15. And I fell on my face before the glory of "BOB."

Dream 2

  1. I found myself in a long hall, hung with many lights. And the light they cast was like that of faded fireworks through the hme of too much beer.
  2. And a voice called to me saying, "In this is your sign, your guidepost for the coming weird times."
  3. I asked, "Is this a message, a message from "BOB"? Or is this just some dumb meaningless Bobbie-dream?"
  4. And the voice said, "You may question or you may heed or. . ."
  5. "Or what?" I begged.
  6. "Or Kill me," it said.

Dream 3

  1. From behind me came a man's voice.
  2. "If you value your sanity, don't turn around," he said.
  3. I almost turned around to look but strong hands deterred me.
  4. "You are very stupid, it is a powerful force. In the future you will be stupid for me."
  5. And the odor of Prince Albert hung in the air.

Dream 4

  1. I hitchhiked a desert highway with nothing in sight for hours on end.
  2. Out of the west came a cloud of dust and the sound of thunder.
  3. And without reason I trembled with dread.
  4. And I felt the force of Slack upon my mind.
  5. And I felt a wonder of what came forth from the road.
  6. And I stuck out my thumb.
  7. And past me almost faster than sight went a car without wheel or wheel within wheel, but supported on the very air itself.
  8. And I turned in wonder to see the driver of this wonderous thing.
  9. I saw only the back of the head with the Pipe.
BACKBACK TO
CLASSIC TALES