Above our own tiny section of the pathetic Round Earth.
Even above the nigh-perfect Flat Earth which hovers unceasingly above.
There exists Bowl Earth, the paradigm of perfection.
Maybe you think I'm crazy or just a fucking retard, but I KNOW that
they are there. I have seen the Flat Earth exit off of the Dallas
North Tollway that everyone else seems to miss. I have heard the
steady droning of the anti-matter drives that keep Flat Earth
constantly aloft. I have seen the cracks in the light-bending lenses
that hide it from our view.
And I know that if there is a Flat Earth, then there must also be that
of which Flat Earthlings only dream: the mighty Bowl Earth.
Where only the best of people are allowed.
Where there are no laws because no laws are needed.
Where free food and drugs lie abundant in the streets.
Where sex is given away as freely as one might loan someone a nickel.
Where no one is ever afraid of what anyone else will think.
Where no one ever has to do anything they don't want to do.
And where everyone always gets what they want.
Call me insane, but I know that it's there. And someday, I will be
there too, floating above the atmosphere in that wonderous saucer of
perfection. Where there is always room. And there is always time. And
there is always...Slack.
--John Searcy, Bowl Earth believer
=========================
Abnormality is the Answer
=========================
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Bowl Earth
From: nenslo@teleport.com (NENSLO)
Nenslo replies, yes, of course you ARE insane to have even become aware
of the Bowl Earth. Awareness of the Bowl Earth and belief in its
existence is one of the CRITERIA of insanity.
I did a PAINTING of the Bowl Earth many years ago and it's in my
studio somewhere RIGHT NOW. It has the Three-leveled Central spire
protruding from the center of the Great Sea, the Ancient Lost City heated
by subterranean magma on the Floor of the sea to one side of the Spire,
the Terrible Beast of the Unconscious chained to the seabed on the other,
Flying Saucers, sailing ships, whales, clouds, all that stuff plus
outside the Bowl Earth its deities, the solar, twofaced serpentlegged
Father God on his little cart, and the Mother and Child, standing on the
moon, holding the Jug and Orb respectively, YOU KNOW, THE USUAL.
Crazy, man.
Nen
--
-Copyright NENSLO KDV 1995-
Send One Dollar to box 86582 Portland OR 97286
This is a READER SUPPORTED ministry.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Bowl Earth
From: thescum@unix.infoserve.net (Byron Jacquot)
And just what are you gonna do when they FLUSH this bowl earth of yours?
thescum@unix.infoserve.net
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Bowl Earth
From: gilmore@en.com (Gilmore)
John Searcy (searcy@onramp.net) wrote:
: Above our own tiny section of the pathetic Round Earth.
: Even above the nigh-perfect Flat Earth which hovers unceasingly above.
: There exists Bowl Earth, the paradigm of perfection.
And just wait until Resin Chamber Earth is cleaned out by the MIGHTY
PAPER CLIP of "Bob"!
--
\\\ _ / Gilmore Web Designer
\\\ // i r t u a l gilmore@vv.com "The world won't stand still..."
\\// / http://www.en.com/users/gilmore/gilmore.html
\/ \/ i S i o N s --------------- http://www.vv.com ----------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Bowl Earth
From: searcy@onramp.net (John Searcy)
nenslo@teleport.com (NENSLO) wrote:
> I did a PAINTING of the Bowl Earth many years ago and it's in my
>studio somewhere RIGHT NOW. It has the Three-leveled Central spire
Wow! You know about that? I heard they had a central spire in the
planning stages, tentatively called The Mountain by some (occasionally
called Dildo Earth by others), but I had no idea it was finished! Or
maybe that was a PROPHETIC painting. One of my friends, who CLAIMS to
be one of the 3 Mayors of Bowl Earth (I have my doubts about him
actually being accepted for such a prestigious office, but who's to
say?) was telling me about the plans just recently. He mentioned that
the other 2 mayors were a man named "Jorje Montague" and, and I quote,
"some guy named Bob"! I asked him if this Bob smoked a pipe, had a big
smile, or looked anything like the Dobbshead I happened to be wearing
on my shirt that day, but he said no. Then again, "Bob" might have
disguises...
Now I was a little disheartened when I heard it, but apparently the
head honcho, the mighty Admiral of Bowl Earth himself, is none other
than Eddy Vedder, lead singer of the pop/rock group Pearl Jam.
Luckily, it appears that "Pearl Jam" is really just a game for Mister
Vedder, an exercise in Pinkness to help offset the amazingly
innovative tunes of his REAL band, Bowl Earth Jam, a band which I have
never heard, because it is only available on Compact Speheres, and
they don't generally allow CS players on Round Earth, as they are
known for causing interference and/or hallucinations for a 20 mile
radius. Still, one can only imagine how wonderful it must be...maybe
even rivalling the Slackful sounds of Drs. for "Bob" (Actually Bowl
Earth music is really a completely separate genre from DoktorMusic, so
I shouldn't even attempt to compare the two.)
>protruding from the center of the Great Sea,
Of course, the Great Sea, the great vault of water whence cometh the
rains. Oh I could go on all day about Bowl Earth, but there's probably
no point. The internet extension for bowl earth is .bwl (for example:
admiral@headquarters.bwl), but the BowlEarthNet is so EXPONENTIALLY
faster than the puny "Internet" that the Internet usually can't make
it up to speed, and consequently the interface between the two is
rather poor. (Besides, using a computer to log onto BowlEarthNet is
kind of like using a telephone to log onto the Internet, listening
carefully to the hissing and crackling to discern individual bits, and
hissing and screaming your input through to the othe side. It's
difficult, but it can be done, Say, maybe Stang could use this method
when he's away on trips...or maybe he already does.)
You'd be surprised how many people I know are sick of hearing about
Bowl Earth...
--John
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Bowl Earth
From: bdb@shadow.net (Doktor BoogieDown)
searcy@onramp.net (John Searcy) wrote:
>Call me insane, but I know that it's there. And someday, I will be
>there too, floating above the atmosphere in that wonderous saucer of
>perfection. Where there is always room. And there is always time. And
>there is always...Slack.
It's more like you've had a revelation into the coming of the Mother Ship
of the Sex Goddess, and it kinda "looked" like a Bowl to you. Depending
on her mood, it can actually LOOK like a variety of objects. It's ok, it's
happened to alot of us...
Semper Dobbs,
Doktor BoogieDown
-----
bdb@shadow.net - Brian.D.Bisson@Miami.FL.USA.Earth.Sol.mway
Doktor, Church of the SubGenius - #include <ordainshipscription.h>
Excrimeditated Congregation of the Overinflated Head of L. Ron Hubbard
HTTP://www.shadow.net./~bdb for a dose of SubMediaBlasphemeWorship
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Bowl Earth
From: ricky@usenet.nerdc.ufl.edu (Captain Midnight)
Byron Jacquot (thescum@unix.infoserve.net) wrote:
: : >And just what are you gonna do when they FLUSH this bowl earth of yours?
: : You nincompoop, Bowl Earth is flushed quite regularly. Where do you
: : think RAIN comes from?
: : --John
: Hmmm...sounds like this Bowl Earth is more appropriate for smoking...get
: the nuxe.
The bowl of a PIPE? It makes sense. It explains why none of us can
find "Bob." We are living in THE VERY BOWL of his MIGHTY PIPE! We
are safe. We have nothing to fear. Dobbs is smoking us.
.......................TEAR.ALONG.THE.DOTTED.LINE.......................
Epopt of the Exploding Head of JFK Licensed to blaspheme the Gods!
My skull is bigger on the inside than the outside!
Send $1 to SubGenius Foundation, P.O. Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Bowl Earth
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Date: 9 Apr 1995 07:27:27 GMT
In article <3lil2o$lkh@news.onramp.net>, searcy@onramp.net (John Searcy) wrote:
>
> Maybe you think I'm crazy or just a fucking retard, but I KNOW that
> they are there. I have seen the Flat Earth exit off of the Dallas
> North Tollway that everyone else seems to miss.
NO man, DON'T THINK YOU'RE LOSING YOUR MIND!!! It's there, alright. I just
thank GOD that I'm not the only one who saw it. Right by the Galleria.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST... what kills me is that NOBODY ELSE SEEMS TO NOTICE
IT. It's EXACTLY like that movie, "THEY LIVE." You can watch "Reboot" on
Saturday mornings, and THERE IT IS, but they all assume it's just CARTOON
ENTERTAINMENT! The explanation is HIDDEN by virtue of its being RIGHT IN
FRONT OF THEIR FUCKING FACES!! North Dallas... it's HELL, baby. You can
lay down... but you can't sleep.
--
Copyright 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Bowl Earth
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <3m48ni$bcp@huron.eel.ufl.edu>, Ricky@nerix.nerdc.ufl.edu wrote:
>
> The bowl of a PIPE? It makes sense. It explains why none of us can
> find "Bob." We are living in THE VERY BOWL of his MIGHTY PIPE! We
> are safe. We have nothing to fear. Dobbs is smoking us.
>
Yeah, sure, he's SMOKING us, and that's all real reassuring and cosmic and
all ... but THINK ABOUT WHAT OUR SEPARATED MOLECULES ARE CLINGING TO.
The Dobbs lung tissue... our "thought molecules" are slowly oozing into the
matrix of HIS BLOODSTREAM and coursing through HIM HIMSELF... with ALL DUE
LUCK-PLANE BOUNCE-BACK. Now. Have you thought about the PSYCHIC
REPERCUSSIONS?? What if we are "coughed"? What if he has to go "ahem"
politely into his napkin at some $10-zillion-a-plate dinner? That's the
kind of thing the Bobbies don't think about, DO THEY??
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