art by GGG
Biggles (biggles1@delphi.com) wrote:
: You have a good ideas, my son, but you are in error.
:
: X-Day is not coming. It will never happen.
Not for you, anyway, frankenstein. That's what is known in the
church as "Death-warrant Autography." You'd better just set yourself on
fire RIGHT NOW. It'll be a lot less painful than the false-life your
robot duplicate will be living after x-day when every SubGenius is God
and YOU'RE NOT.
"I'll fuck your skull in hell!" - Nenslo, in a dream, to a green
rubber devil clambering out of The Pit.
--
-Copyright NENSLO KDV 1995- VERBUM SAPIENTI SATIS EST
Send One Dollar to box 86582 Portland OR 97286
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Subject: Re: * A hot treat for X-day! *
From: Biggles <biggles1@delphi.com>
Wow. A note from the mighty Nenslo. How cute.
In the Book, it says that "Bob" has yet to make a mistake; but
being very imperfect, he will sooner or later screw up, big
time.
So I humbly suggest that the mistake foretold of in the Book is
his greatest prediction: that the Xists will not arrive on
X-Day. That "Bob" got the date wrong.
Which could mean that the Xists might be here any second!
Quick, where's my $30.00? Larry Moe Larry Moe Moe Moe Larry
Larry Larry Curly . . . .
But suggesting our alien "friends" will never show up is more
fun. It tends to piss off the Subgenius to no end. Tee he.
-- Pope-King Biggles the First
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Subject: Re: * A hot treat for X-day! *
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Biggles <biggles1@delphi.com> wrote:
> Wow. A note from the mighty Nenslo. How cute.
Biggles, get that coke bottle out of your ass and loosen up.
> In the Book, it says that "Bob" has yet to make a mistake; but
> being very imperfect, he will sooner or later screw up, big
> time.
You know, I had to TYPE that damn book, TWICE, and for the life of me, I
can't remember where it said anything LIKE that.
> So I humbly suggest that the mistake foretold of in the Book is
> his greatest prediction: that the Xists will not arrive on
> X-Day. That "Bob" got the date wrong.
I think you and Buck Naked have a lot to talk about. He's been saying that
for years. (AND HE'S >SERIOUS<!!!!) He thought he was the first one to
think of it, too.
> Which could mean that the Xists might be here any second!
> Quick, where's my $30.00? Larry Moe Larry Moe Moe Moe Larry
> Larry Larry Curly . . . .
> But suggesting our alien "friends" will never show up is more
> fun. It tends to piss off the Subgenius to no end. Tee he.
This poor guy thinks he's being daring and original. He also didn't read
REVELATION X. Biggles, you haven't been around all that long, have you?
Did it ever occur to you that some of us have been yoked to Dobbs for so
long that we got BORED with being heretical and unorthodox and
disrespectful to Dobbs, and generally snotty about the Revealed Word, TEN
YEARS AGO? Shit, we were taking ACTUAL POTSHOTS at him with a GUN way back
in 1984. It's a phase we all go through, and later, we always wish we
hadn't been quite so LOUD about it. It's a sign of insecurity, man. "The
Employee Syndrome," my old boss Brownie used to call it when we questioned
the wisdom of him changing the title of DON'T HANG UP to LEAVE MY GRAVE
OPEN.
Do you honestly think we sit around going, "Oh, NO! Somebody doesn't
believe in X-Day!!" What the hell do you think we're gonna do, PRAY for
you? This ain't one of those namby-pamby FORGIVENESS oriented religions,
pal. WE COULD NOT CARE LESS who "believes" and who doesn't. Fuck 'em if
they can't take a joke.
--
Send $1 for free information. PRABOB
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Subject: Re: * A hot treat for X-day! *
From: Sternodox <glatter@delphi.com>
Tell 'em Sptaghnky.. Hell, remember the first tape Janor and I sent
you? The one where we were worshipping NHEE GHEE? And remember how we
totally fucking IGNORED "Bob" for about the first three years or so ...
how we were too busy butt-fucking Nunu and Nharghee and Narnini and
how Janor would go on and on and on about putting those plastic foot-
coverings on and sniffing all the "air" at once before descending down
into the very bowels of the Door to "D" and how "Bob" didn't even
FIGURE into the ream-demonology of Central Arkansaniac "Squid-
Burrowing Fests we DOKTORS were pulling down while these "bottle-
butted" PINK BOYS were still shitting their britches? Hell, let THOSE
lame-o's try gettin' down with the Nheeg one like we used to do and
see how long their butts stay attatched to their pathetic, whiny,
simpering, PINK little botties. THEY STILL DON'T FUCKING GET IT
DO THEY. God DAMNNNNNN!!!!!! I knew it was gonna be a fucking STRUGGLE
but, jesus H. Fucking Christ on a Limbo-Crutch, some of these so-called
SubGeniuses are Pinker on the INSIDE than they are on the OUT. (or was
that the other way around?) Ah, hell, gimme a bottle of NigLou Malt Liquor
and another couple tons of that frappy and we'll let Wanda SNARF our
blues away. "You're such a swingin' piece of ass Bernice, I could
lick your asshole!"
Fuck 'em
Spermy
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Subject: Re: * A hot treat for X-day! *
From: ncm5662@is2.nyu.edu (Nicole C. Michaud)
Biggles (biggles1@delphi.com) wrote:
:
: In the Book, it says that "Bob" has yet to make a mistake; but
: being very imperfect, he will sooner or later screw up, big
: time.
Gah. How wrong can you be? "Bob" is revered FOR his mistakes.
: So I humbly suggest that the mistake foretold of in the Book is
: his greatest prediction: that the Xists will not arrive on
: X-Day. That "Bob" got the date wrong.
: Which could mean that the Xists might be here any second!
: Quick, where's my $30.00? Larry Moe Larry Moe Moe Moe Larry
: Larry Larry Curly . . . .
So what? That don't mean it WON'T happen. I'm saved, and therefore have
naught to worry for. I believe that it has been said at devivals (perhaps
Phenomicon, '92) that it could happen at anytime. The sooner the better,
I say. LEMME HAVE IT, "BOB"!!!
: But suggesting our alien "friends" will never show up is more
: fun. It tends to piss off the Subgenius to no end. Tee he.
I don't have to be pissed, just amused. And happy that you WILL BE WEEDED
OUT come THE HARVEST.
: -- Pope-King Biggles the First
I'm glad to know that you like 'Monty Python' so much, as I'm sure that's
the derivation of your "name" in this case.
*you have been blessed by a communication from*
-----UBERMistress Rev. Nickie
(or DEATHCHICK when I'm having one of THOSE moods)
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Subject: Re: * A hot treat for X-day! *
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
mtownsend@interramp.com (Michael Townsend) wrote:
> i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:
>
> <biggles1@delphi.com> wrote:
>>:
>>: >
> >: > In the Book, it says that "Bob" has yet to make a mistake; but
> >: > being very imperfect, he will sooner or later screw up, big
> >: > time.
> >:
> Gee, and the rest of us always thought it said that "Bob" makes one
> mistake after another...except that every time he makes one, he makes
> another million dollars.
CAN NOT YOU PEOPLE READ???
""Bob" has yet to make a mistake; but being very imperfect, he will sooner
or later screw up, big time." --
NO, NOTHING LIKE THAT WAS EVER PRINTED. What is says is, to paraphrase as
YOU INSIST UPON DOING: "BOB" FUCKS UP ALL THE TIME, CONSTANTLY, FOREVER.
What's this crap about "will sooner or later screw up big time?"
That's an ETERNAL VERITY, that he'll screw up.
"Sooner or later."
SHEEE-it.
He is ALWAYS ONE BIG SCREW-UP. I guess your primitive 3-dimensional,
fixed-legged Hume-Minds JUST DON'T GET IT!!
I have but one thing to say:
"DUH!!!"
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Subject: Re: * A hot treat for X-day! *
From: ac118@lafn.org (Matthew Carey)
In a previous article, biggles1@delphi.com (Biggles) says:
>You have a good ideas, my son, but you are in error.
>
>X-Day is not coming. It will never happen.
What. July 5, 1998 was REMOVED FROM ALL CALENDARS EVERYWHERE?????
When did this happen? When was the committee formed? Why were there no
reporters there? This is a violation of the First Amendment to the
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA and all our better Sunshine Laws.
SEE?!? If this doesn't prove there is a WORLD CRAP CONSPIRACY then
nothing does! I am livid and pissed. I'll write the Company! THIS
USURPATION OF DEMOCRATIC VALUES AND ABUSE OF TIME CONTROL TECHNOLOGY WILL
NOT BE TOLERATED! Not by me! And not by any one else who believes in
accurate historical documentation as allowed by the GREAT AMERICAN
TRADITION OF CONSISTENCY. I'll bet those communists at the Department of
Weights and Standards are responsible.
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