>|> 1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
>|> 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex
>|> to other passengers.
>|> 3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:
>|> "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
>|> 4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
>|> 5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
>|> 6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of
>|> the elevator.
>|> 7. Shave.
>|> 8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside
>|> ask: "Got enough air in there?"
>|> 9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear
>|> yours upside-down.
>|> 10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
>|> without getting off.
>|> 11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the
>|> doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
>|> 12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol
>|> coming!"
>|> 13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake
>|> and ask them to call you Admiral.
>|> 14. One word: Flatulence!
>|> 15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it
>|> stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the
>|> shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
>|> 16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
>|> 17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then
>|> announce: "I've got new socks on!"
>|> 18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back:
>|> "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
>|> 19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
>|> 20. Meow occassionally.
>|> 21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
>|> 22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
>|> 23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
>|> 24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
>|> 25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
>|> 26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
>|> 27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one
>|> of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
>|> 28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
>|> 29. Leave a box between the doors.
>|> 30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for
>|> them.
>|> 31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
>|> 32. Start a sing-along.
>|> 33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your
>|> beeper?"
>|> 34. Play the harmonica.
>|> 35. Shadow box.
>|> 36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
>|> 37. Lean against the button panel.
>|> 38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
>|> 39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
>|> 40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
>|> other passengers that this is your "personal space."
>|> 41. Bring a chair along.
>|> 42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see
>|> wha in muh mouf?"
>|> 43. Blow spit bubbles.
>|> 44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
>|> 45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
>|> 46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
>|> 47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
>|> 48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
>|> 49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
>|> 50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
Mac's Last Stand, 13 Gigs, (12) 28.8 lines 716-346-5555
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Original file name: Top 50 Things for Elevator
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