I wish I had the strength left to rant, after watching Michael Moore's
"Roger & Me". But I don't. I just can't believe... actually, I take that
back. I find it all too easy to believe that the culmination of human
greed and vice has been the institutionalization of greed, selfishness,
pomposity, covetousness... hell, ALL those fucking forms of FALSE SLACK
that we have come to know and despise.
That's IT, man! The corporation is frequently defined, as a concept, as
"a legal entity". And they are FAR more right than they realize... for
what does an entity, or ANY organism do? It eats and reproduces.
And that's what the corporation does! It lives for the purpose of
surviving, getting bigger and spawning new corporations. I worked at
MetLife for two months, before I got fired. WHAT did I get fired for?
Doing my own thing. Literally. I swear to god, they found letters and
other files I had written that were destined either for alt.slack or for
the people sending me keys. "You can't do your own work on company time",
they said. And I'd except that, if someone was paying me on my own time.
But they aren't.
This was my job: I was an assistant to a supervisor of maintenance
agreements between MetLife, its branch offices, and the vendors and/or
repair companies of office equipment purchased from those companies for
use in those offices. Sound purposeless? You betcha. I was a total
fucking cog in this gigantic, ridiculous machine, and I had to seem
really concerned, when I made a phone call, that "a certain file didn't
have a serial number of a Xerox copy machine supposedly still in their
office, and who would I speak to regarding maintenance?" I had nothing
to do with insurance, with is ostensibly the "business" of MetLife.
Fuck that. MetLife is like any megacorporation. It doesn't give a shit
what it "makes". The chairman, board of directors, CEO, president... all
they care about is making as MUCh money as possible as QUICKLY as
possible.
We all knew that, though, didn't we? That's what America is all about:
the dollar! Fuck thy neighbor! Let's list the "Seven Deadly Sins", shall we?
Actually, let's not. I just started going through them, and I realized
that the corporation, and the "corporatization" of the American mind,
isn't about sin. It's about something worse.
It's about indifference. Remember, the opposite of "love" isn't "hate":
it's "indifference". To hate someone, you have to care about their
existence. You have to think about them, and think about things about and
around and inside them. Corporations don't do that. They don't care about
anything, one way or the other. They have marketing departments designed
to provide "good pr", both within and outside the company. But the PR
Department doesn't give a shit about you, or me, or anyone. The OJ trial
isn't on TV because knowing more about it will enlighten, educate, inform
or uplift; it's there because the corporation that runs your TV did
research and realized that it could sell ad space at a higher price if it
showed you as much OJ as it could. And we are made to watch it becuase it
is cheap, easy, "real" shit. The networks are creaming themselves.
I was, you may remember, a cog in the huge machine of MetLife. I take
that back. A cog is, at least, by itself, vaguely important. Try taking
ONE cog out of a spring-driven clock and see how well it functions. The
"cog" metaphor has the impersonality right, but not the redundancy and
self-serving nature of today's corporations.
I wasn't a cog. I was a cell.
I was a cell inside a group of cells forming, with other groups, a
portion of an organ that worked within a system inside an organism. The
organism? MetLife.
Cells inside YOU die all the time. They are replaced with new cells. I
heard somewhere that every 6 years, you are ALL new cells. Neat, huh?
cells are easy to make. All the body needs is CHON and energy. CHON =
Carbon, Hydrogen, Oxygen, and Nitrogen. All MetLife needs is a temp
agency, employment agency, or a few want ads. They're all fucking set. I
wonder who's sitting at my old desk?
And don't give me any shit about "cancer if one cell goes bad". Damn
right, if I had decided to bring a gun to work, I probably coulda taken
out my whole cubicle-block. Big fucking deal. Remember: THE CORPORATION
IS AN ENTITY. IT'S A FUCKING ORGANISM. You can't kill it by killing the
president, or CEO, or anything. Those guys are brain cells, true, but too
much off ANY of the organism is held in efficient homeostasis by the
legal system. The actual STRUCTURE -- the circulatory, digestive,
endocrine, reproductive, respiratory and nervous systems -- are now part
of congressional history. Ineffective anti-trust laws, secret addendums
and under-the-table blinders have made sure that, sure as shit, like I've
said before, most of Congress IS composed of either Rich Fucks or lawyers
for Rich Fucks. And most of these Rich Fucks have made their living off
the corporation. Bill fucking Clinton made enough money from the
corporate system to become President! Killing anyone isn't going to
change shit.
The only way to kill an organism off, or destroy an entire species, is to
alter its ENVIRONMENT. The dodos were killed by the introduction of
predators it had no natural defenses for. The Corporation lives in an
environment called the "Free Enterprise system".
What do we have to do?
More later.
the Grand Clavister
(who says gimme my fucking money now; I don't wanna wait til I'm 65)
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
FOR A DI-RECTORY OF DEVICES, PRODUCTS AND SERVICES, SEND $1 to O.L.I.N.Y.K.,
P.O. BOX 2559, GRAND CENTRAL STATION, NEW YORK NY 10163-2559. SENDING ONE OR
MORE KEYS WILL MEAN MORE STUFF. A LARGE SASE WILL NET YOU SOME CRAP AS
WELL.
THE GRAND CLAVISTER OF NYC IS THE FIRST G.C. OF THE CHURCH OF THE
SUBGENIUS.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Roger & Me
From: modemac@netcom.com (Modemac)
Grand Clavister (clavis@phantom.com) wrote:
: Fuck that. MetLife is like any megacorporation. It doesn't give a shit
: what it "makes". The chairman, board of directors, CEO, president... all
: they care about is making as MUCh money as possible as QUICKLY as
: possible.
I know that feeling all too well. Until this time last year (Geez, it's
been EXACTLY one year and ten days, as I type this!), I was a cog in the
corporate machine, too. Now I still am, sort of, but it's not quite the
same.
For eight years I worked for Shawmut Bank in Boston, as a file clerk.
EIGHT YEARS! I put up with it because the pay was halfway
decent...except that I didn't want to be a banker. I'd taken two
semesters of accounting at college, and that was IT. No WAY am I going
toi sit around at a desk for eight hours a day, shuffling papers back and
forth and pretending that I was doing something vital and important. So
finally, one year ago, I REPENTED, QUIT MY JOB, and SLACKED OFF.
Except that I couldn't find the job I wanted. I want to get into
something media-oriented. I want to find that opening that willlet me
have access to the greatest weapon of the Conspiracy, so that I can
infiltrate it and hopefully SABOTAGE it! But because I was only about
halfway through college when I quit my job, no one would hire me for the
jobs I wanted. TV stations, magazines, newspapers, media review
organizations...no one would give me that chance. For instance, a
children's media review organization advertised the SAME JOB three
different times over the course of six months. It was a support job,
really not much more than office work and PC maintenance...but it was in a
subject that I really wanted to learn more about (I still do), and it had
a great chance to make connections and GET somewhere! I applied for that
same job three times. Three different interviews. I did my best to wow
the person giving the interview and show her that I KNOW about children's
media (and I do, too - I LOVE well-made children's films and books), and I
KNOW about the Net (which they were "very interested" in getting
connected). And all three times I was told that they'd decided to hire
someone else.
That's how it's been for the past year. I am currently working two
part-time job, one that's boring as all hell and another that I used to
like but want to quit now.(I work at a movie theater that USED to be fun,
but now its corporate owners are turning it into another MALL THEATER and
showing MAINSTREAM FILMS, as well as trying to turn us, the employees,
into CORPORATE ROBOTS!) I work fifty hours a week, six days a week,
including Friday and Saturday nights. I have no life, and I'm rapidly
running out of ideas on how to finally GET SOMEWHERE in this Pink society,
because I'm working too long and hard to pay my bills, and I can't afford
to work LESS and continue college.
But I'm not giving up...because I CAN'T give up. I can only keep
plugging away, and keep reaching in the hope that I will eventually make
the right connection and find work that I WANT to do - rather than
something I HAVE to do.
--
+---------------------------------------+
| Reverend Modemac (modemac@netcom.com) |
+-------------+ "There is no black and white." +------------+
| First Online Church of "Bob," A Subfaction of the Excremeditated |
| Congregation of the Overinflated Head of L. Ron Hubbard |
+------------------------------------------------------------------+
FINGER modemac@netcom.com for a FREE SubGenius Pamphlet!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Roger & Me
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <modemacD7A0Dq.8Gr@netcom.com>, modemac@netcom.com (Modemac) wrote:
> But I'm not giving up...because I CAN'T give up. I can only keep
> plugging away, and keep reaching in the hope that I will eventually make
> the right connection and find work that I WANT to do - rather than
> something I HAVE to do.
> --
Well, hang in there, Modemac. I only had to bang my head against the brick
wall for about 15 years before I got one brick loose. And that one brick
doesn't pay the bills, but at least it got my name around enough that I
can squeeze by with odd jobs either writing or video editing, and most of
the time it's actually sort of creative. (I get hired to "save" doomed
projects, bad documentaries, etc., or when they need a "fring expert.")
But during the most critical time --, in my twenties, when I first had to
support a family, and REALLY REALLY NEEDED A REGULAR 9-5 MEDIA "JOB" -- I
couldn't make ANY HEADWAY AT ALL. I had new baby children and was
DESPERATE, and I spent literally TWO YEARS applying for ANY kind of media
work -- tv stations, radio, ad agencies, film production, you name it. And
NOBODY WOULD HIRE ME. And I was already not only QUALIFIED, but WAY MORE
than merely QUALIFIED for ANY of that shit. But it was always one of two
thins: 1) you don't have a degree so we won't even talk to you, or 2) "I
can tell by your resume that you'll get bored with this job and be gone in
6 months." You MAY be able to imagine how depressing this became. I had
all these awards for short films I'd done but they were all TOO WEIRD. I
had worked in the Dallas film biz since age 16, but it was on-and-off
stints that don't look good on a resume. It got SO BAD that I was applying
for TRUCKING and DELIVERY jobs. I couldn't get THOSE either, probably
because I obviously wasn't the usual poebucker and it made 'em suspicious.
It got SO VERY BAD that I delivered balloons in mime-face for a few weeks.
It got so UNBELIEVABLY BAD that I ended up working for my IN-LAWS doing
p.r. and drafting and handyman stuff for their HOME BUILDING company.
BUT!!! Because I had been pounding the pavements and sweet-talking
secretaries for so long, I finally started getting calls on FREE LANCE
FILM JOBS -- writing and/or editing business films. I actually managed to
make half decent wages as a self-employed, free-lance film guy. But I had
to wear many hats. Sometimes I was film cutter, sometimes scripter,
sometimes animator. Sometimes grip. Each employer knew me as a different
occupation. And in the long run, I decided it was GOOD that none of those
companies hired me, because, although we never knew where the next meal
was coming from, I did manage to make ends meet for several more years,
and keep the Church Outreach going... albeit by the foreskin of its teeth.
The moral in my case is, tenacity pays off after NUMEROUS ARDUOUS YEARS OF
SPIRIT-KILLING HUMILIATION.
Ironically, I'm not doing financially as well now as I was 10 years ago
when the Church was a gleam in Dobbs' eye. I'm a lot more "famous" --
among WEIRDOS -- and the perks are wonderful, but the fact remains that I
now spend MOST of my time on SubGenius projects, and those projects DON'T
PAY WELL IF AT ALL. Part of the problem is, I spread myself way too thin.
Trying to do too many media at once, and in a style that's by definition
limited to a small audience. But there's no question in my mind that this
has GOT to pay off sooner or later. At some point the snowball MUST reach
critical mass. Mavrides and I constantly console each other, commiserating
and rationalizing that: "It's "GOOD" that we didn't get rich and famous
when we were younger, because we would have blown it or ruined ourselves
like Elvis or whatever. But now we're old enough to handle it. SO YOU CAN
LET LOOSE THOSE FLOODGATES OF THE LUCK PLANE NOW, "BOB"... YOU HEARIN' US,
DOBBS? WE'RE WISE ENOUGH NOW... WE WON'T BLOW IT..."
I dunno... my ass always seems to get rescued at THE VERY LAST MINUTE by
some lucky job or project that appears in the NICK OF TIME.
Speaking of time, WHY AM I BLABBERING AWAY LIKE THIS??? I need to get back
to the Stark Fist. Will you people PLEASE QUIT POSTING so I can QUIT
READING AND SAVING, and get some EDITING done???
Rev. Ivanski
--
Copyright 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Roger & Me
From: obadiah@church.obe
ALright!!
How many of you folks out there agree that sooner or later
Rev Stank will get paid big money so some Hollywood
pig can put his "Bob" shit in a movie
And then Rev Stank can be the PIG he has always really wanted to be,
and stop whining about how hard he had it when he was young
and superior to everyone else, but no one appreciated him?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Roger & Me
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Oh, GREAT!! Now I have this TICK BIRD perched on my back, picking lice
from between my skin-folds! And he's right between my shoulder-blades,
where my tail can't swat him. Would somebody help shoo this thing away? I
have important meditations to indulge in.
Yrs,
Bloated Hippo Stang
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Roger & Me
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)
Rev. Ivan Stang (i.stang@metronet.com) wrote:
: Oh, GREAT!! Now I have this TICK BIRD perched on my back, picking lice
: from between my skin-folds!
Think of it like this: Without the AOLers, the MAKE.MONEY.FASTers, and
(YES) the Obadiahs out there, we wouldn't be exactly what we aren't on
here, and would you want that to happen? (Sorry...I'm still between the
"lucid" stage and "great revalations" stage of my current AntiSleep
sabbatical).
If you want a suggestion that makes sense, why not just rent a vacuum
chamber, use it to turn yourself inside-out, and DIGEST the little
tick-bird?
--
Meow!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Roger & Me
From: anarch@cse.ucsc.edu (Anarch)
Purple Kitty <pkitty@netcom.com> wrote:
>If you want a suggestion that makes sense, why not just rent a vacuum
>chamber, use it to turn yourself inside-out, and DIGEST the little
>tick-bird?
Why not just slip into the FOURTH DIMENSION? No messy head explosions!
anarch@cse.ucsc.edu +-+-+ It's a satanic drug thing...you wouldn't understand
D I S C L A I M E R : E V E R Y T H I N G I W R I T E I S F A L S E
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Roger & Me
From: matta@sun.lclark.edu (Matt Alexander)
[much piss and vinegar deleted]
All TRUE! This is why we must all call the pink bastards at FOX
Broadcasting and DEMAND that they follow through on their plot to produce
and air another season... nay, a SLEW of seasons, of Michael Moore's TV
NATION.
It was briefly on NBC (which spells "CON" backwards except for the
middle) last summer, but they cancelled it. Why?
BECAUSE IT HAD TOO DAMN MUCH SLACK.
Michael Moore is like Rush Limbaugh, only he's not an asshole. Which is
to say, he's nothing like Limbaugh. I'm sorry, what were we talking about
again?
-><- Matt Alexander "Chunga say: LIVE FOR FREE."
<matta@lclark.edu>
"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
And East is East and West is West and if you take cranberries and stew
them like applesauce they taste more like prunes than a rhubarb does.
Now, uh.. Now you tell me what you know." -Marx
Original file name: ROGERAND.ME
This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.