cuthulu <cuthulu@unicomp.net> wrote:
>Hee ... sounds good. If, after a bowl of chili, you aren't setting
>the walls on fire with your burps, belches and flatulence, then the
>chili wasn't made right.
I have this recipe for chili that sends people flaming out of my
kitchen. It produces warmth in me and tears in everyone else.
It also produces enlightenment and pyroflatulation in very large
quantities, not to mention pyroexcremeditation. :-)
Well, y'all sorta asked for this .....
Nuclear Family Chili
"So good, it nukes your whole family!"
Yield: 1 Megaton
Basic ingredients:
1/2 lb. browned cubed beef (over a mesquite grill)
1/2 lb. ground chili beef (not too lean)
16 oz. tomato sauce
6 oz. tomato paste
1 finely chopped medium onion
6 cloves minced garlic
1 tablespoon Mexican oregano
5 tablespoons mild dried/ground red chile (or NM dark chile)
1 1/2 tablespoons ground cayenne
1 teaspoon ground comino seed
1 shot glass of Tabasco
1/2 shot glass of habanero chile sauce (Papa Joe's Rica Red!)
or substitute 2 fresh habanero chilies, stemmed/seeded/chopped
6 stemmed/seeded/chopped serrano chilies
16 oz. of beans, cooked, any kind of beans you like
1 ear corn, cooked, cut off the cob
Enough water to keep it from sticking together and burning
Masa harina in case you add too much water :-)
Additional list of ingredients for confusing your guests:
(should be used together)
3/4 teaspoon savory
3/4 teaspoon rosemary
3/4 teaspoon basil
1 1/2 tablespoons lime juice
2 tablespoons worcestershire sauce
3 squares from a Hershey's bar
1 shot Kahlua, rum, or whatever booze you like
(unless it's kirsch or something foofy like that)
Recommended utensils:
1 really huge crock pot :-)
The basic idea:
Take the chili beef and brown it with some of the mild red chile
(or NM dark chile). When it looks about right, add everything but
the corn and beans and cook until a really large amount of oil starts
to seep to the top. Let it cook for a few more hours after that. :-)
Add some water if it looks like you're short on liquid. If you have
too much liquid, don't add the masa harina until you're near the
end.
Cook up the beans and corn while you're waiting, just enough so they
are cooked in the chili. Don't add them to the chili unless you
like bean and corn mush. :-)
Just before you're about to die of hunger, add the corn and beans,
letting it cook for a while longer.
You may also want to cook up some rice to go with this, it makes
eating it much easier. Take some Texmati and a little saffron and
you can't go wrong.
Keep the leftovers away from small children, unless they happen to
have Slack, in which case you may want to have them help you make
it. :-)
Enjoy .....
chris
---
Chris Cheyney | "Where there is a way, there
Internet: cheyney@crl.com | is a will to subvert it."
UUCP: {backbones}!emory!arg!chris |____________________________________
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Subject: Re: Apache Death Chili!!!
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <3r3kd8$6u0@news.nucleus.com>, tom@nucleus.com (Thomas
Terashima) wrote:
> (Ideally, you'd make the chili from beans that you yourself grew,
> picked, dried, rehydrated and cooked in your own personal
> low-earth-orbit bioSphere space station.)
>
> Speaking of which, I'm still beta-testing my "House of Stang" (tm)
> chili, the "secret" ingredient being Mongolian Fire Oil.
>
It's funny you should mention that. There's a bottle of Mongolian Fire Oil
on my kitchen table. However, the kind they sell in Dallas is "House of
Tang" brand. It's most flavorful, although it's not nearly as hot as the
name would lead you to believe.
Philo and I ran an experiment on which beans provide the most
high-pyroflatulation energy. Brazilian Black Beans -- despite published
studies -- are definitely the most productive.
Stamng
--
Copyright 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
Original file name: DEATH.CHILI
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