Words of Wisdom

From: inigo@montoya.net (D. P. Roberts)

A thought for Monday:

... remember...When you're having a bad day and it seems like people
are trying to piss you off, remember it takes 42 muscles to frown and
only 4 to extend your finger and flip them off.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>

Ah, but grasshopper, it may take from 0 to 100% of
your voluntary muscles to Slack off; yet in doing
so, your victory over your adversaries shall be as
a multidimensional cork pounded into their rectum
with a sledge hammer, after a fresh, though warm,
liter of Coca-cola enema.

And you will experience the double joy of them
trying in vain to extricate a sphicter obstruction
that defies ordinary perception, while emptying your
own bowels with the aid of the warm, fizzy and sweet
laxative mentioned earlier. And no, I didn't say
that *they* got the enema, now did I?

And such is the nature of such victories. But do not
suppose that Slack can be defined in terms of sledge
hammers, multidimensional corks, fresh, warm, Coca-Cola
enemas and voluntary muscles; for Slack can equally be
found in bolt cutters, Bauhaus laundramat design, and
vats for deep-frying Cajun turkey, or not, as the case
may be.

Just remember:

If you meet yourself on the road, either give yourself
Slack or kill you. Unless you meet your anti-you, in
which case you should sincerely consider the marvelous
and once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for annihilating the
entire universe that has presented itself--all must obey
you, or pffft!

&
Porno Myth #18. If you come across a guy and his
girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend
won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you
shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
&
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: John Starrett <jstarret@carbon.cudenver.edu>

> Porno Myth #18. If you come across a guy and his
> girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend
> won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you
> shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
> &

Thanks! This is the kind of practical information that I
need.

--
John Starrett
"We have nothing to fear but the scary stuff."
http://www-math.cudenver.edu/~jstarret/microtone.html

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Original file name: Words of Wisdom (racists, pay n - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:30