Vignette -- SCOOBY DOO MEETS ADOLF HITLER

From: petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)
Date: 1997/04/23

Once upon a time, there was a dog called Scooby Doo and a guy called
Shaggy with a beard. Anyway, lots of people found them very amusing,
and put together stupid lists of feeble jokes with labels like "WAS
SCOOBY DOO ON DRUGS?" on the top of them, for which they should have
been summarily executed but weren't until Adolf Hitler came into
power. No one knew he was in power because he disguised himself with a
mask that looked like the face of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, a well-known
cartoon character and religious leader whose biggest claim to fame
was that he had been voted "Pipe Smoker Of The Year" in 1972 by
"Pipesmoking Times" magazine even though he never smoked and it wasn't
really a pipe but a SECRET ALIEN COMMUNICATION DEVICE!!!!! But anyway,
he outlawed all the really bad jokes in the world so that after that
everything was really funny and everyone was happy and laughed a lot
and the economy started booming and the trains ran on time and
everyone liked it a lot because he cut through all that normal
political bullshit. But then some Jews found out that "Bob" was really
Adolf Hitler and they didn't like that idea very much so late one
night they all came down to his place and kicked the shit out of him
until his mask fell off and he said "You know, I would have got away
with it... if it hadn't been for those pesky Yids" and then Scooby Doo
dissolved him with ACID BREATH. And then the author of this story shot
himself due to self-loathing. And then Will Hay and Peter Ustinov and
Peter O'Toole and Charles Hawtrey and Alistair Sim and George Cole and
George Formby and Terry-Thomas and Sid James and Edmundo Ros and Eric
Sykes and Tony Hancock and Harry H. Corbett and Reg Varney and Ken
Dodd and Les Dawson and Tommy Cooper and Eric Morecambe and Windsor
Davies and Ivor Cutler and Norman Wisdom and Alec Guinness and John
Cleese and Richard E. Grant and Patrick McGoohan and Patrick McNee and
Spike Milligan and Thora Hird stamped a lot on his face until he was
dead and they burned all the secret papers that said what REALLY
happened.

--
"Dessert without cheese is like a pretty woman with only one eye."
-- Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, The Philospoher In The Kitchen

From: petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)
Subject: Definition of Usenet
Date: 1996/04/16

A bunch of critics criticizing peoples' criticisms of the large
critical analyses that other people have produced in order to comment
upon certain criticisms that critics have advanced on a criticism of
an original critique.

From: petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)
Subject: Poetry Corner
Date: 1996/04/16

In the cheeseburger of my mind
Lurks the ketchup of destruction
It squirts out when I find
Ronald McDonald gives instruction

Serve the burger!
For it is so wise
Serve the burger!
Burger and fries.

--
remememedismemberationalessencephalotherroarrogleamitrouselephagentryagain
**** WEB SITE PLUG: http://www.cogsci.ed.ac.uk/~petehip/ZPKIntro.html ****
remementalistonkalligatrememeiostretchinderogathermalicentichoruptamessinge

From: petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)
Subject: Sinclair Lewis
Date: 1996/04/16

Has anyone else noticed that in Sinclair Lewis's book, "It Can't
Happen Here", the radio preacher who helps waft the fascist dictator
Windrip into power and is rapidly purged, is called "Reverend Prang",
and that the hero of the piece ends up with the false identity
"Mr. Dobbs" at the end of the book, and that there's also a mention of
a character called "Mrs. Dobbs" in "Babbit" who preaches some kind of
quasi-Theosophical religion?

Or not?

Life imitates art imitates life.

From: petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)
Subject: Dobbs Ad -- Britain 1942
Date: 1996/04/19

Just posted to alt.binaries.slack: two versions of a 1942 British
portrait of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. One of these is a girt great big
uuencoded gif of the Slackmeister exhorting a young boy to "Dig for
Victory" and claim his rationed Mars Bar (2 and a half d at that
time). The other is a close up of Dobbs in this picture; these are
clearly very early years, as the dots of his face are MUCH CRUDER than
those of the familiar portrait -- I suspect this is because he was at
an earlier stage of Dimlightenment.

--
remememedismemberationalessencephalotherroarrogleamitrouselephagentryagain
**** WEB SITE PLUG: http://www.cogsci.ed.ac.uk/~petehip/ZPKIntro.html ****

From: petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)
Subject: X

I need some full-body hoover Satan underpants to suck the toxins out
of my body. So help me God. I have at least picked up a little
Dutch, and can adequately now describe this situation as a total
kankerzooi.

--
"Dessert without cheese is like a pretty woman with only one eye."
-- Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, The Philospoher In The Kitchen

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Original file name: Peter Hipwell... - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:30