Pessimysticism VS. Optimysticism

From: Name: PopeBlack <popeblack@hotmail.com>

Pessimysticism, seeing into a bleak future, was how I lived my life
until I found Bob. Even after I had found Bob I continued to experience
spells of pessimysticism, because even though I had found Bob there was
something still missing in my life, a very important part of my life.
You see even though I KNEW OF BOB, I DIDN'T KNOW BOB. In other words, I
OWED BOB.

I thought I had done every thing to walk to illuminated life of a Yeti.
I THOUGHT I had reached and obtained the status of OBERMAN. I had read
the Book of the Subgenius and I THOUGHT I had transformed my life, but
I had indeed not, for I had not done the most important thing that BOB
ASK OF ME.

Then I did THE MOST FOOLISH THING one could ever imagine. It was so
idiotic I thought I would never forgive myself for doing it. I reached
into my pocket and committed the ultimate BLUNDER. I paid the Church of
the SubGenius, in 1992, $20.00.

The transformation didn't occur overnight. I waited and waited much
longer than the 4-6 weeks promised. I felt FOOLISH, because I thought I
was getting RIPPED OFF by some comic book guy named Bob, who didn't
even exist. After 3 months of waiting and giving up all hope, my day
finally came. It arrived. My membership as ordained minister in the
Church of the SubGenius.

From that day on THINGS WERE DIFFERENT. I was different and I realized
that I had ALWAYS been DIFFERENT. I realized that Bob did XIST and that
Bob ALWAYS DID XIST. I could do no wrong and even if it was wrong, it
turned out to be RIGHT. My malformed perception of the world and it's
future and my FALSE visions, through pessimysticism, was transformed
into a crystal clear, true perception of the world and I began to
experience the enlightened truths of optimysticism.

Optimysticism is a combination of four distinct words. Optic, Optimism,
Mysticism and St. Otis. The combination of these four words creates one
of the most powerful spoken words in the universe. Optimysticism, as
opposed to pessimysitcism not only means "seeing into a bright, rich,
slack futureo/oo. It also contains the protective qualities of St. Otis,
protector of all SubGenii. The transformation from pessimysticism to
optimysticism CAN ONLY OCCURE ONE WAY!!! That transformation occurs
very nanosecond you become a card carrying member of the Church of the
SubGenius. Then and only then can you see that your not going down with
this sinking, human induced fiasco ship called earth anymore. Then and
only then can you see that on JULY 5th , 2000 you'll be sitting in the
Love Star Cruiser of the Sex Goddesses, with your SubGenius brothers
and sisters, gettin down, gettin funky and getting off of this disease
and war riddled planet of shopping malls, fast foot restaurants and top
40 radio stations as it gets DESTROYED by EVIL so unspeakable that not
even I can verbalize it's hideousness. Yes, if you want optimysticism,
slack, sex, money, a one way ticket out of mandatory armegedon and
the "worldly pleasureso/oo of life and after life "theyo/oo don't want you to
have, then I suggest that you send you're $30.00 and join before it's
too late.

www.subgenius.com

The Church of the SubGenius
P.O. Box 75214
Dallas Texas. Eternal Salvation or TRIPLE your money back guaranteed.

--
http://meltingpot.fortunecity.com/metric/302/
His divine grace,
The Second Luckiest Man Alive!
The Apostle Pope General Dr. Mighty David Lee Black THC MMDA

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Original file name: Pessimysticism VS. Optimysticis - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:30