Is this any way to run a cult?

From: Reverend DJ Epoch <nunyabiz@noway.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Aug 10, 2001 1:06 PM

I mean it! NO saucers! NO 'rupture'! NO nekked sex goddesses with nuclear
sextoys. NOT EVEN A "BOB"-DAMNED FROP-INDUCED VISION IN A WHOLE MONTH!!!

My brain is beginning to rot from the inside having to cope / ignore / filter
out all the oozing pinkness of the hoomans I am forced to co-exist with. And
to top it all off......

MY FUGGIN' POINTY-HAIRED BOSS SEES THE PIC OF "BOB" TACKED UP IN MY CAGE /
CELL / CUBICAL AND SAYS "CUTE CULT".

CUTE??!"??!!??? ** C U T E * * ??!?!!?!?!!?!

Is THAT all we've become??? A snot-dripping variation on a Jim Jones / WACO /
pray to the trees and hope for salvation from Anus Ernesly-variety cult????
THEN FUCK ME WITH A GARDEN WEASEL AND ROAST ME IN THE FIRES OF JHVH-1!!!

If the PHB thinks we're cute, them I'm about damned ready to show him HOW
cute we can be while I give him a trisected cranial exposure with a chainsaw,
and EAT HIS BRAINS WITH A FUGGIN *SPORK*!!! LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW!!! By damn,
if they think this is a *cute* cult, then let them see JUST HOW FUGGIN TELLY-
TUBBY-INCINERATING RAPE-A-MUPPET-FOR-"BOB"-CUTE WE REALLY ARE!!!

WHEN DO THE XISTS GET US OFF THIS PUSSMUNCH-INFESTED EXCUSED FOR A PLANET?????
HUH???? WHEN??????? Tell "Bob" to quit teasing our asses and get the damned
saucers down here NOW!!!

OR KILL ME!!!

--
~~ Reverend DJ Epoch ~~
~~ The Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion ~~
~~ Cathedral, Carwash and Dancehall, Divine Redneck Clench ~~
~~ Home of the Traci Lords Memorial Brothel ~~
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Subject: Re: Is this any way to run a cult?
From: "whyaskwhyaskwhy" <blackout@404infomagic.com>

you poor thing.

everyday here is the new best day I've ever had, even the ones that suck.
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Subject: Re: Is this any way to run a cult?
From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>

WHAT KIND OF MUTANT ARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's the attitude of a large
group awareness program! You can talk like an optimism robot all day but
don't expect to get sympathy from people who want their saucer ride
dammit!!!! We'll build the saucers, you can sit in a hotel ballroom and "be
a stand for the transformation of Pinks everywhere to live in the
possibility of Slack".

No wifebeating car salesman from San Francisco can tell me how to find
Slack! Not even "Bob" hisself, that asshole!!! Go join a fake corporate
cult and pay $300 to pretend you have Slack with a bunch of perky robots for
a weekend and we'll pay $30 for ETERNAL salvation!!! Huah! Know a REAL
corporate cult when you see one!!! Look at your membership card that you
paid $30 for and realize that SLACK IS THE ONLY HOPE YOU GOT BABY!!

The only transformation that exists in a world full of Pinks is the
transformation from Pink to Perky Pink! And that only means they'll be
HAPPY marching into JHVH-1's chipper shredder!! And I for one will be busy
building a saucer while the Pinks try to transform each other from whining
welfare meat into perky manager meat!!! Doesn't matter, WE'RE ALL MEAT IN
THE EYES OF JHVH-1! And it only costs $30 to get the key out of your beef
corral and a card that declares you smart enough to exit this planet, either
when "Bob" stops fucking up or when YOU build YOUR OWN SAUCER!

alliekatt
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is this any way to run a cult?
From: rev_cletus@hotmail.com (Rev. Cletus Aurelius)

Reverend DJ Epoch <nunyabiz@noway.com> wrote in
news:Xns90F9855F97D4Anunyabiznowaycom@:

> If the PHB thinks we're cute, them I'm about damned ready to show him
> HOW cute we can be while I give him a trisected cranial exposure with a
> chainsaw, and EAT HIS BRAINS WITH A FUGGIN *SPORK*!!! LIVE ON
> PAY-PER-VIEW!!! By damn, if they think this is a *cute* cult, then let
> them see JUST HOW FUGGIN TELLY- TUBBY-INCINERATING
> RAPE-A-MUPPET-FOR-"BOB"-CUTE WE REALLY ARE!!!

Is this one-price, all-you-can-eat, or do they have a menu? By the way,
there's some spittle in yer moo-stash.

> WHEN DO THE XISTS GET US OFF THIS PUSSMUNCH-INFESTED EXCUSED FOR A
> PLANET????? HUH???? WHEN??????? Tell "Bob" to quit teasing our asses
> and get the damned saucers down here NOW!!!

Dobbs 'n Stang are runnin' the things at a dirt track somerz in upstate Noo
Yawk, the bastiches; the only reason Stang goes up there in summertime
ennymore is to check on his "investment", 'n keep the X-ists addicted to
Gatorade an' pork rinds. Shoulda seen them sorry sumbeeches wailin' 'n
gnashin' their teef when ol ArnHead went to th' Big-Ol' Grease Pit in the
Sky...

> OR KILL ME!!!

Comin' right up; yew want calamari wid dat?

--
Rev. Cletus Aurelius
Queers fer "Bob"
Flower Town Detachment, Dobbs-on-a-Stick
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is this any way to run a cult?
From: Unit 4 <UnitIV@Sputum.COM>
}
}CUTE??!"??!!??? ** C U T E * * ??!?!!?!?!!?!

Hide in plain sight.

Think on it.
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Subject: Re: Is this any way to run a cult?
From: "whyaskwhyaskwhy" <blackout@404infomagic.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Aug 11, 2001 1:26 AM
Message-ID: <ho3d7.1525$pP.796691@news.uswest.net>

"Alliekatt" wrote

>
> WHAT KIND OF MUTANT ARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, for starters, I'm better than you and everybody else on the planet. so
are you,
but you don't know it yet.

> That's the attitude of a large
> group awareness program!

and a small group avoider anti-social fruitcake, as it turns out

> You can talk like an optimism robot all day but
> don't expect to get sympathy from people who want their saucer ride
> dammit!!!!

I just decided I don't want to sit next to you because it sounds like you'll
be bitching
the whole time instead of having hot wet tentacle sex as the good lord
intended.

> We'll build the saucers, you can sit in a hotel ballroom and "be
> a stand for the transformation of Pinks everywhere to live in the
> possibility of Slack".

I doubt you can build anything, let alone a saucer. when the saucers break
down 150,000,000,000 miles from a Checker store and need a part manufactured
they will turn to ME to fix it and I will heat up some steel and pound one
out and YOU won't and so there you
lil' stinky whiny person.

> No wifebeating car salesman from San Francisco can tell me how to find
> Slack!

yes they can. you can only choose not to listen, but since your earholes
don't close up you can't even do that really.

>Not even "Bob" hisself, that asshole!!!

you're gonna get a brain frenching for that one for sure.

> Go join a fake corporate
> cult and pay $300 to pretend you have Slack with a bunch of perky robots
for
> a weekend and we'll pay $30 for ETERNAL salvation!!!

how about $6000? www.realdoll.com

> Huah! Know a REAL
> corporate cult when you see one!!! Look at your membership card that you
> paid $30 for and realize that SLACK IS THE ONLY HOPE YOU GOT BABY!!
>
> The only transformation that exists in a world full of Pinks is the
> transformation from Pink to Perky Pink! And that only means they'll be
> HAPPY marching into JHVH-1's chipper shredder!! And I for one will be
busy
> building a saucer while the Pinks try to transform each other from whining
> welfare meat into perky manager meat!!! Doesn't matter, WE'RE ALL MEAT IN
> THE EYES OF JHVH-1! And it only costs $30 to get the key out of your beef
> corral and a card that declares you smart enough to exit this planet,
either
> when "Bob" stops fucking up or when YOU build YOUR OWN SAUCER!

do you know the difference between somebody that walks the walk and somebody
that reparaphrases the talk?

NO, YOU DON'T.

fuckin' kids nowdays. they try SO HARD.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is this any way to run a cult?
From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>

> do you know the difference between somebody that walks the walk and
somebody
> that reparaphrases the talk?
>
> NO, YOU DON'T.
>
> fuckin' kids nowdays. they try SO HARD.

You mean you took that seriously?

tsk tsk.

I suggest responding in a freakier-than-thou fashion rather than
defensively, it's more flattering.

alliekatt
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is this any way to run a cult?
From: "whyaskwhyaskwhy" <blackout@404infomagic.com>

I look forward to stretching your skull hole to accommodate my throbbing
member
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Is this any way to run a cult?
From: Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

> everyday here is the new best day I've ever had, even the ones that suck.

Whyaskwhyaskwhy has seen me at my most despondent, most panicked, most
depressed. Online, anyhow. He'll probably be as surprized as I was, to
hear that I AGREE 10^999 PERCENT WITH HIM.

But just because my life has only gotten better, especially since
finding "Bob", doesn't mean I'm settling for anything less than
worldwide Rupture for all my dues-paying brothers and sisters and
others. It does mean, however, that I'll go where the slack is any day.

"Fuck it."

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
=====Her Ladyship Rev Dkr St Popess Lilith von Fraumench, Esquire=====
===Prophet===Corrective Phrenologist===Supreme Commandrix===Devivor===
==SSUCC 4739 University Way NE #1302 Seattle WA 98105 (877)=381-9354==
====Web: ssucc.ragnarokr.com = foolspress.com = mp3.com/foolspress====

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Original file name: Is this any way to run a cult? - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:30