I'm miserable...

From: prof@sourceofevil.com (Professor C.A. Baboon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Dec 5, 2001 9:40 AM

I'm feeling really miserable right now.

Now, there are three ways a body can handle misery:

He can ignore it. I've done that, and, let me tell you, that leads to
nasty places where the doctor pokes you in the ass with a needle 17
times a day to keep the drooling, inane smile on your face.

He can deal with it. This is what the Con wants you to do, so it must
be wrong. Ipso Facto, baby.

He can make everyone else miserable, and thus appear normal by
comparison. I personally like this one, so here we go...

Consider the following:

In 1 or 2 centuries, tops, no one will know or care that you ever
existed.

You, me, and everything arround us is composed of the burned out ashes
of dead stars. Stars that were once happy and vibrant like our own
Sun. One day our Sun will explode and you, me, and everything arround
us will be recycled in the nuclear furnace.

There's a good chance that the atoms in your body used to be in dog
poo.

There's a good chance that the atoms in your body will end up in dog
poo.

Ashes to Ashes. Poo to Poo.

Someday, the universe will end. When that happens, you will die (if
you haven't already). No chance of immortality. That goes for God
too.

"Bob" is a piece of clip art.

You and me both sent $30 (or so) to a piece of clip art c/o a maniac
with a POB in TX.

Ants and roaches will survive our species.

The last living thing on Earth will probably be an anthrax spore.

The last surviving scrap of human culture will probably be an Anthrax
CD.

If you killed yourself right now, it probably wouldn't make the
papers.

If you killed yourself right now, 99.999% of the people on Earth
wouldn't notice or care, but your mom WILL have to clean your brains
off the wall.

All the good drugs are illegal.

All the good drugs will eventually lead to slow and painful death.

Life will eventually lead to a slow and painful death.

The only person I hate more than me, is you.

This could be a painful cry for help. I might kill myself today. If
I do that, what you are now reading will be my suicide note. You
could have stopped be but you didn't! LIVE WITH THE GUILT!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

ok... that was just in bad taste. I'm not going to kill myself today.
I'm just going to think about it.

<click>
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I'm miserable...
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>

Always look on the bright side of death...

1) Our very existence is incredibly painful to the gods.
2) They really, really hate us. We are like poisonous,
foul smelling, biting and stinging cockroaches.
3) For every one of us they kill, a dozen more will take
his place.
4) We have turned the world they worked so very hard on
to create and maintain into a festering garbage dump
full of unnatural toxins and molecules that will never
biodegrade and are *stinky*.
5) We either curse them heartily, or whine and bitch to
them constantly. We...just...won't...shut...up.
6) We experiment incessantly with everything evil, wrong,
forbidden and filthy. We desecrate every temple, we
prophane every ritual, we pervert (on) every altar.
7) We fully intend to leave this rock and do EXACTLY THE
SAME on any other planet we inhabit. And they know it.
8) Eventually we intend to evolve into something as, or
more powerful then they, at which time we will either
destroy them or absorb them. And we will STILL be the
filthy, disgusting monsters that will torment them for
all eternity.
9) And we have "Bob"'s help in doing this. And they know
*that*, too.

--
$
There is no nu-monet there is only Zuul.
$

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Original file name: I'm miserable... - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:30